


Hunger Games: A Burning Fire

by orphan_account



Series: Hunger Games AU: Golden Wings [2]
Category: GOT7, JJProject - Fandom, 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: 75th Hunger Games, Alternate Universe - Hunger Games Setting, Friends to Lovers, Hunger Games-Typical Death/Violence, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Love Confessions, M/M, Nightmares, Panic Attacks, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Romance, Slow Burn, Threats of Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-22
Updated: 2019-02-15
Packaged: 2019-08-25 21:05:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 23
Words: 158,194
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16668295
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Second Book.The aftermath of the 74th Hunger Games.Park Jinyoung just wanted to protect his family, but his actions had stirred a fire in Panem. Once the fire begun, it could not be stopped. Nothing could stop a fire that burns in the hearts of a people ready to fight. Torn between his role as a symbol to the nation and between the ones he loves, Jinyoung finds new allies in the fight and finds he is not as alone as he thinks.Jinyoung and Jaebum get closer in a world trying to tear them apart, they must hold on to each other.





	1. Can't Go Back

**Author's Note:**

> This is a sequel to Hunger Games: One Spark. Please read that first.

He hadn’t meant for it to happen again. 

He just couldn’t breathe.

But it happened all the time. Never had his father gotten so angry. It wasn’t something Jinyoung had control over. It was just…

“You’re scaring Youngjae!” His father had shouted at him as he struggled to control his panic. He was breathing fast as he tried to ground himself. The images from his nightmares ran through his head and he couldn’t make them vanish from his mind. His father dragged his brother away from the room and left him alone. His heart pounded in his ears as he held his breath and counted the ticking of the clock like a cult ritual. It was the only thing that could right him after he was blown off course.

The snow was falling outside, he saw it through the window and he hated it. It was too close to that day. Too close to times he didn’t want to remember.

He had allowed Youngjae to sleep with him after his younger brother had asked to. He had hoped his trauma could stay away for one night if his brother was there. He didn’t get his way, he never got his way. The morning was still early as he found himself again in that room, his breath released and he was able to take full deep breaths again. There was no real coming home, that was the hardest thing for him to handle. He was never going to be whole again.

The others didn’t understand and he couldn’t hold it against him. They didn’t realize how different he was, and how he couldn’t just go back to how things were. They had watched the games but they hadn’t lived them. They’d seen what he’d gone through, they didn’t know how it felt. He would never wish for them to know, he didn’t believe anyone deserved it. He got up and pulled his jacket on. He needed to get out away from his father, it didn’t matter that he was trying, he still treated Jinyoung like it was his fault. Like he wasn’t trying hard enough to forget the things he’d experienced. He grabbed the book he’d been reading the night before off his side table and headed out of the house.

10 months had passed. 10 months weren’t enough. He wasn’t okay. He couldn’t be.

He walked outside into the expansive victors village of district 12. Made to hold many victors; empty shells of homes without people to dwell in the. A testament to 75 years of horrors, 75 years of children dying. 75 years and only 2 victors had survived. He walked past Jaebum’s house. They had moved Jinyoung’s family to the victors village as soon as he’d returned home. It was a strange how suddenly it all happened. It was strange that they would no longer be starving, living in a shack that could barely keep out the cold. He did’t need to hunt to survive anymore. His father and brother had all the food they’d needed because he’d won. He’d changed their lives for the better, but lost his own in return.

He looked towards Jaebum’s house as he walked by it. He knew he could count on the elder to help when he was dealing with the worst of his trauma, Jaebum had helped him so much more than Jinyoung thought he knew, but he wouldn’t go to the elder this time. Jinyoung’s failing was that he was all pride and they had fought last time they had seen each other. Jinyoung would give him a cold shoulder for a few more days before forgiving him, it was how it worked. They fought, they made up, they continued on.

He turned to the woods, where he had spent most of his childhood. He had wanted peace before the games but everyone expected more of him after. His father expected him to continue with the Capitol’s game and tale of his tragic facedown with his former friend. Jaebum was trying to help him through the sudden fear he faced that perhaps he’d done more than he intended. He’d defied the Capitol and that had already begun to change things. Jaebum didn’t hide the truth from him, he told Jinyoung about the unrest in the other districts. He didn’t want the role suddenly before him, he wanted his family safe.

He wandered the snowy woods. It reminded him of his childhood but it was stained by his experiences. The snow fall made it look like the arena, the feelings he got were kept at bay by rituals he developed in his mind. He needed time alone, he could get that in the woods if he didn’t think about it too much.

He climbed one of the bigger trees and sat in it’s branches to open the book he had brought. The best thing his mentor had done over the months they’d been back was teach him to read. Jaebum had said that books would be therapeutic and he was right. Jaebum had an extensive library, he seemed to spend most of his games earnings on books. Jinyoung had picked up on reading and writing quickly as it was something he’d always wanted to do. He found he wanted to read all the books Jaebum had read, he couldn’t get enough of books.

Books were his only true escape.

The day wore on, the snowfall ceased and he looked up from the last page of his book to see someone familiar wandering the forest. He sighed, he wanted solitude. His father had probably sent Mark out to find him and check on him. His father liked to pretend he cared with small gestures but when it came down to it Jinyoung knew he didn’t. He never had.

Jinyoung knew he could easily stay out of sight and climb higher but he also knew Mark would look for a long time. He didn’t want his friend wandering for too long. So he closed his book and climbed down.

“You know you don’t need to come after me every time,” he spoke to get the elder’s attention.. Mark smiled upon seeing him.

“I wanted to,” Mark said. “Are you okay?” Jinyoung was tired of that question. He got it almost every day from one person or another. If he was honest he would say there was no way to be fine, no way he could ever be okay. 

“I’m fine,” Jinyoung repeated the lie he always said. Jaebum always pointed out that it was an obvious lie but no one else called him out on it. He shivered from the cold and from the reality that resonated in him at ever moment. Mark knew it was a lie, even if he wouldn’t say it, he just moved forward and hugged Jinyoung. Jinyoung started crying at his gesture. Tears were things he always held inside, but when Mark hugged him they always came up. There was something so caring about it that it made his walls fall.

“I know it’s difficult now,” Mark said to him, “but it will get better.”

“So far,” Jinyoung began, “it hasn’t gotten even a bit better. How long am I going to be like this?” He was frustrated and he knew Mark didn’t have the answers. 

“You don’t need to worry about that,” Mark said, “what you went through, we can’t put a timeclock on it and expect it to be okay. It will take however long it takes. We’ll all still be here for you, however long it takes.” Jinyoung didn’t want that, he wanted to stop waking up screaming. He wanted the ever present fear to go away. He didn’t want it to take more time. He wanted to recover.

“I just want to feel like I really did come out of that arena,” Jinyoung said it as best he could.

“You did make it out Jinyoung-ah,” Mark said to him, “you’re safe now. You’re safe and no one can change it now.” He knew Mark believed that but Mark hadn’t seen what he had. He hadn’t seen the way the game was played and the reality that it never ended. He didn’t see how broken the other victors were. 

They wandered around the woods together till Jinyoung had fully calmed down. He stopped crying and didn’t feel like he was going to panic again. Then they headed back to town, Mark had to go back to the mines for the afternoon and Jinyoung thought it best for himself to head home. He could shut his father and brother out of his room and continue reading there, he would be out of the snow and warm.

He walked into his house and meant to not alert anyone to his presence but his father walked into the main hall the moment he entered. Jinyoung glared at him, he didn’t want to talk to him. Why couldn’t he just leave him be?

“How was your walk?” His father asked, his words sounded odd. Jinyoung was about to open his mouth to speak when two people appeared he didn’t recognize.

“We have visitors,” Youngjae said from behind them. Jinyoung could see from their clothes they were from the Capitol, and all the feelings he tried to bury throughout the day came rising back up. He knew what it meant, he’d worried about it.

“You need to come with us,” one of the men said. Jinyoung nodded, resisting wasn’t possible. He met his fathers eyes and his father looked away. He knew better than to expect reassurances. The men escorted him to the back office even though he knew the way. Jinyoung entered to see a face he hadn't seen since the victory ceremony. The face of his enemy, the one who caused all of it. 

"President Yang," he said, he pulled all emotion from his voice to make it sound empty, "what an honor." He would put on a act, he would hide how terrified he was. It was better not to show his fear. He had known consequences for his actions would eventually be dealt and wondered if that was why the older man was here.

"I think things will be easier," the President replied, "if you and I are honest with each other. I know you’re not happy to see me but I think it’s finally time we talk.” He nodded, his mouth went dry. Something about the way the man looked at him made him uncomfortable.

“Would you like some tea?” Jinyoung asked, he mentally pinched himself. He just felt like it was a polite thing to offer, he had no idea what people in the Capitol did when the President was in front of them.

“No tea,” the President said, “take a seat my dear boy.” Jinyoung didn’t even realize he’d still been standing. He sat down slowly in the chair in front of the older man. He knew he was doing a bad job of hiding his discomfort. “I have a problem," he continued, "one you caused and that you must solve.”

"What?" Jinyoung questioned, though he had a feeling he already knew exactly what was going on.

"What happened in the games," the President said, "when you chose to put your sword into the ground instead of into Song Minho. You played if off well, that you were overcome by grief and sought death yourself. The people in the Capitol believed you; your team did a good job and the people loved you for it. They hail you as this good person who just wanted to go with his friends." Jinyoung had to stop himself from taking a deep breath, he wouldn't betray anything. He couldn’t. He dug his nails into his hand. "But the people in the districts saw it as an act of defiance, they believe you refused to fight anymore because you wanted to defy me, to defy the gamemakers..."

"And what do you believe?" Jinyoung asked him, he didn’t know what came over him but he couldn’t stop the words from slipping out.

"It doesn't matter what I believe," the President said, "I have kept this country together for 3 times your lifespan. I will keep it together now with your help. You will pacify the districts when you go out for the tour, you will make it clear you only did it for selfish reasons."

"I did," Jinyoung said to him, "so it should be easy to convince them."

"Don't lie to me Jinyoung. I like you and I would like to be friends but lies do not bode well for friends,” he gritted out to Jinyoung, "I know what I saw in your eyes. I know what you did, now you have to reverse that.”

"And if I don't?" Jinyoung asked, he didn't feel anything but hatred for the man in front of him. This was the one that caused Jungkook's death and Sana’s death. He caused the death of Jaebum’s little sister. Every year 23 children just like him died to keep the districts in fear, because of President Yang. 

"You may be bold child," the President said said, “it’s one of the things I like about you. You’re strong, you’re determined and it drives you to survive the way you have all your life. Now you need to understand your boldness, your actions, they effect your family and they effect your friends." Jinyoung clenched his fists tighter, there it was. Now Yang would threaten the people he loved. Hadn’t he lost enough?

"Jaebum is someone I have wanted to cross off for years," Yang said, pointedly, bitterly and Jinyoung’s heart stopped beating for a moment, “I’ve kept him alive because It was fun to tear everything from him, to beat him back when he got too bold." Jinyoung felt fear gripping him, of all the people he could threaten Jinyoung didn’t expect him to go for Jaebum. "I would have no problem killing him Jinyoung, he’s weak and he would have no defense from me.” Jinyoung wanted to cry and beg him, he knew Jaebum wasn’t weak but what were any of them compared to the might of the Capitol. He couldn’t take Jaebum away from Jinyoung, Jinyoung wasn’t sure he could take that.

“Think about it Jinyoung. You don’t want a war,” he continued. “Think about it and make the right choice for all our sakes. That way no one will get hurt." Jinyoung shivered. There was no choice, this man had threatened Jaebum and indirectly threatened his family. Jinyoung couldn’t stand against him, all he could do was agree that he would do anything Yang asked to keep them safe.

"I'll do it," Jinyoung said, he bowed his head.

“I know you have the ability within you,” the President said, “so you better put on the performance of your life.” Jinyoung swallowed, the fear he had rising to the surface and he was sure it was written across his face.

“I will do whatever you ask,” Jinyoung said, broken just like all the other victors. He would give up anything.

“That’s what I like to hear,” he said, “I’ll see you again soon Jinyoung, hopefully we won’t have to have another conversation like this one.” Jinyoung hoped so as well. The president then stood up left him and he sat in the chair still stunned and frightened. He knew now the consequences were coming. No matter what he did to change it he would still suffer for the things he’d done in the games. He hoped with everything within him the cost wouldn’t be Jaebum or Youngjae or Mark or his father. He knew he was on edge, he couldn’t stay in that house with his father so close. He had to get out and to get to Jaebum.

He got up and didn't even speak to his father or Youngjae. They were still in the hall near the entrance and his father demanded to know what happened but he didn’t want to speak to him. He just wanted out and to the only place he felt safe, with the person whose life was in danger. He ran out the front door quickly and to the house next door. He was up the steps fast and through the door. His father wouldn’t follow him there.

"Jaebum," he shouted his name as he rushed in, the door was always unlocked for him. Jaebum didn’t respond to him. Jinyoung ran through the rooms of the house and searched for his mentor. He didn't find him in any of them and knew he had probably gone out. Jaebum still had a life to live that wasn’t waiting around for Jinyoung to forgive him over their arguments. Jinyoung resolved himself to sit in the living room and wait. His body shook from the fear, from what happened. He was so afraid and each moment it got worse and worse as his mind spiraled out of control. 

Snow was falling outside the windows, he once loved the snow but things had changed. All he could feel was fear when he saw it. The snow falling brought images to his mind that he couldn’t outrun. He saw Jungkook lying in a bed of pine, not breathing because he would never breathe again. He saw Sana, bleeding out as she reached to touch his face. He saw Minho stabbing himself through with a sword to give the win to Jinyoung after how he’d lost himself to the games. Jinyoung was broken because in simple moments of fear and loss, the games had torn apart all he was. There was no returning from the dark. He was panicked with his eyes shut tight when he felt hands on his own crossed hands, strong hands came around in a soothing comfort…

“Jinyoung,” Jaebum’s voice seemed far away to his clouded mind. He couldn’t get out once his thoughts raced out of control and fear was all he knew. Warm arms encircled him, it was familiar, safe. It always happened, he was always too weak and to far gone. That’s how he felt most days, like he’d become useless. He was just broken, and he couldn’t be fixed. He didn’t understand why they thought he was worth anything. He wasn’t worth fighting for.

“I’m here,” the elder’s voice was a whisper right by his ear, reaching through the haze in comforting warmth. He felt the press of the elders cheek against his. No matter how much they fought, it was still Jaebum that knew how to get through to him when he was losing his mind. He opened his eyes and held his breath inside, held the panic inside. Jaebum pulled back and looked at him, his expression was so open. Jinyoung didn’t know what he would do if he lost Jaebum. He didn’t know if he could survive that, after all he had been forced through he couldn’t survive it. He didn’t understand how Jaebum had become so important to him in such a short time.

“What happened?” Jaebum asked as Jinyoung felt calmer and lighter. The elder always knew, he knew when it was just dreams or when something deeper was happening his his mind. Though he probably knew something had gone wrong because Jinyoung never let fights go so quickly, it always took him 2 weeks to get over it. Something had happened but Jinyoung couldn’t speak, he didn’t want to make it real with words.

Jinyoung just shook his head. It was easier for him not to speak, easier just to hold on to Jaebum. He didn’t want to speak. He hadn’t wanted to speak much at all since the games but no one else would let him stay quiet. People wanted words, but no words could describe the things he felt. Words couldn’t fix it. Some days were easier but others he felt like he was slipping so far away, that he would never get up and walk again. Despite the darkness he knew he couldn’t just shut down. People’s lives were in the balance again. Jaebum’s life was in the balance and Jinyoung wouldn’t let it happen to him.

The elder didn’t demand words when Jinyoung would not give them. He didn’t push Jinyoung like Jinyoung’s father did, like Mark sometimes did without realizing it. He simply sat with his arms around him till the sun set, and held him close as night fell. Jaebum’s arms were the only place that Jinyoung slept in peace.


	2. Inner Struggles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaebum tries to get Jinyoung to open up about whats bothering him and Jinyoung seeks to avoid his family.

Jinyoung slept soundly through the night to anyone else it would have seemed peaceful but Jaebum knew better. He worried about Jinyoung often and he worried the most when he sat next to him while he slept. The way the younger’s body shook unconsciously, shivering with fear, it unnerved him. The way he clung to Jaebum as if he was about to slip away let him know that clearly that Jinyoung wasn’t okay.

They had done their best to help Jinyoung realize that he was safe. Jaebum had done his best to communicate with Mark about how to handle Jinyoung’s panic attacks or how to calm him when the younger spaced out. The difficulty was that Mark and Jinyoung’s family didn’t understand, nor did they want to listen to Jaebum. They weren’t patient with Jinyoung, they were trying to push him into getting better and they didn’t like Jaebum. Because of that they didn’t listen to him, and Jinyoung was caught in a push and pull between his family and his former mentor. 

They were convinced Jaebum was part of the problem not the solution. Jinyoung’s father blamed Jaebum for what Jinyoung had chosen to do in the games. He understood Jaebum was always a bit defiant. Jaebum couldn’t blame him, but Jinyoung’s actions had been his own. Mark felt that Jaebum was manipulative and that was something Jaebum couldn’t entirely deny. He had manipulated Jinyoung to try and get his victory to mean something, however Jinyoung had made his decisions on his own.

Still, with the ridicule of Jinyoung’s family at the beginning of their time back, he had tried his best to not be involved. He had tried to keep his distance, to let Jinyoung reintegrate with his family and hoped that their help was enough. Jaebum just wanted him to move on that way. It hadn’t worked, Jinyoung had progressively gotten worse without Jaebum there. Worse to a breaking point that Jaebum should have seen coming.

He stepped back in and didn’t try to hold back. He knew Jinyoung needed someone where who understood, who was able to read what was going on without him speaking. Jaebum could be that person, he’d faced it before. So he stayed with him, let him know that he was there. 

Jaebum decided to teach him to read. He could tell it was something that Jinyoung always wanted to to. He also knew it could help Jinyoung’s mind focus on something positive, something not the games. 

Jinyoung loved reading, he had soaked up each book Jaebum had brought him through. He had picked up the skill rapidly to a point that he was picking books out from Jaebum’s collection and reading on his own. It gave them things to discuss, characters and faraway places that were an escape from their own harsh reality. Jaebum watched him get better through being there and through giving himself to help Jinyoung. The younger hadn’t had an episode like the one he saw the night before in a long time. He’d completely spaced out to the point he was unaware of his surroundings, unaware that Jaebum had entered the room.

Jaebum hadn’t seen him shut down like that in so long it had frightened him. He knew that when it happened Jinyoung didn’t need words of comfort or someone to push him, he simply needed someone to stay by his side. The only other one who realized that was Youngjae. Jinyoung’s father remained a problem because he didn’t seem to understand that simple truth. Of course Jinyoung had run to him again in his struggle; and Jaebum would not leave his side until he knew Jinyoung was getting through it. Still he felt strongly something must have triggered it. He knew Jinyoung well enough to know it was something more. The younger probably wouldn’t open up about it but Jaebum could still find the answers.

Jaebum smiled at the thought of Youngjae still in his mind. The child was the most perceptive of their family when it came to Jinyoung. He was also the only one who liked Jaebum and the only one who was kind to him. Youngjae was good for Jinyoung he made Jinyoung see that what he had gone through worth it. He’d volunteered for it to spare Youngjae.

Jaebum wished so much that things had gone different, that everything could be different. He had many regrets of his own but being unable to get through to Jinyoung's family hurt the worst. He had to watch Jinyoung get treated the wrong way to the point that Jinyoung had reached a horrible low. It was frustrating to see the same behavior coming from the people who should know better. Even after the worst days Jinyoung’s father din’t change. 

Jaebum understood what it was like, he should have expected it. His own parents were not around because of similar things. Jaebum had shut down from his experiences, and his actions following them were viewed as direct defiance of Yang and the Capitol. After Jimin was taken away never to return home his parents had left. They had left him for good.

He hadn't told Jinyoung or anyone the full story; that his parents were alive and had willingly walked away from their broken son. Jaebum hadn't told Jinyoung because he didn't want Jinyoung to worry about that happening to him. Jinyoung had enough fears in his mind. He had fears of shadows and of the games lurking in almost everything he saw. There were reminders of the pain, reminders of the loss all around him. In the forest, in the trees, in the snow it all surrounded them. Those reminders were potent, powerful, pressing at all times.

It had happened to Jaebum as well, but not on the same level. He hadn't held onto anyone during the games like Jinyoung had held onto Jungkook. He hadn't had anyone sacrifice themselves for him like Sana had for Jinyoung. He hadn't watched someone take their own life when everything ended. The games for him were horrific in a different way and he considered Jinyoung's to be much worse.

He hadn't known what to do when Jungkook was killed, when that boy jumped in front of the sword meant for Jinyoung. He been with Namjoon, Yoongi and Seokjin when it all happened. None of them were okay and he didn’t blame them. Jung kook was more to them, he’d heard it from one of the other victors. He’d heard Yoongi had tried to hide the boy when he was younger, in district 7 and that Yang himself had intervened. Jungkook’s death was a punishment on them, Jaebum could tell after what he’d experienced with his sister. 

Jungkook’s death reminded him so much of his sisters. It was the same, both were protected by someone destined to win. Namjoon protected Jimin but lost in the end. Jinyoung protected Jungkook but lost in the end. The parallels were difficult not to draw, not to dissect. When Yang enacted a punishment no one could change it.

After Jungkook had died Jaebum was left to figure it out alone without the others. They were mourning and grieving their loss, he understood that. He knew that he still had to try and give Jinyoung the strength he needed when he couldn't be there at his side. He’d promised himself he would do more than his best to bring Jinyoung back. He was so glad when Sana had been there, she had been so brave. He had tried to get her out as well but in the end she gave it all up for Jinyoung. 

Three had sacrificed for Jinyoung. Those three he could not forget, they were haunting him and Jaebum could see it. It was in everything, everywhere at all times.

Jaebum didn't know what to do anymore with the chances they’d been given. He knew what was happening in the districts. Five and Six were under martial law. Eleven was bad off following several outbreaks of unrest. What Jinyoung had done, intentional or unintentional, was that he had given hope to a nation full of people who were hungry for it. Jaebum didn't know that the Capitol was ready for what was coming. Jaebum himself wasn't sure he was ready for a war. It was an odd feeling since he knew he’d been one who had said so many things about it and wanted it so bad. He had worked so hard to give Jinyoung what he needed to succeed because he knew Jinyoung could be everything. 

Jinyoung had something no one else had, a fire in him that could change everything. He’d seen it in Jinyoung’s eyes the first day he met him and he had tried to cultivate it. He’d seen it again when the games ended, when he stabbed his sword into the snow. Defiance, strength that was raw and blazing. He’d seen it but he understood after the months that followed that Jinyoung wasn't ready for what it meant.

He hadn't realized before where his actions would lead but in hindsight he wished he hadn’t pushed him. That he had only worked to bring him home alright. He saw the truth clearly as he watched Jinyoung, it would take a long time for what happened to heal. 

He wished they had more time, but time wasn't on their side. He knew the whispers of what was coming next. He knew the Capitol would seek silence them and that Yang knew exactly what Jinyoung had done. There was no outrunning it, no escaping it. Everything would catch up to them eventually.

Jinyoung slept through most of the day. Whatever had happened had to be bad because he never slept as long as he was. The few times he woke up he just went back to sleep and Jaebum had began to wonder if he had been sleeping much at all. Maybe that night and day was the first time he’d gotten a full rest since he’d fought with Jaebum. Jaebum knew Jinyoung didn’t sleep well on his own, he’d tried to explain that to Jinyoung’s family but they didn’t get it.

It wasn't till the late afternoon that Jinyoung awoke and sat up. Jaebum was next to him reading a book and watching over him. He was hoping things could get better if he just stayed. Jaebum also hoped that Jinyoung would open up to him; he hoped that the younger would tell him the truth about what was going on.

"Good afternoon sleepyhead," Jaebum said to him to tip him off as to what time it was. The sun was lower in the west, it was nearing nightfall, it would come sooner than Jaebum had realized being in his house the full day.

"It's afternoon?" Jinyoung questioned with his hand on his eyes, he rubbed them slightly.

"Yes," Jaebum replied, "you've slept most of the day." Jinyoung fell back against the mattress and settled in. Jaebum wondered if he planned on getting up at all. He’d done that a few times, it wasn’t often but occasionally he liked to sleep the whole day away. Mostly it happened early on when they got back from the games. Jaebum would leave in the morning and come back to find Jinyoung still in his bed.

"Good," Jinyoung responded to his statement and turned back over as if to sleep more. Jaebum would normally let him but he’d been trying to encourage Jinyoung to spend more time out of bed.

"Jinyoung your family is going to be worried sick about you," Jaebum replied, he needed to get him to at least spend part of the day not sleeping.

"Good," Jinyoung muttered. Jaebum was more convinced something had gone wrong.

"Well why don't you tell me what's going on?" Jaebum stated. He was worried about Jinyoung but he wouldn't shelter him forever without answers. It was important that Jinyoung know he could trust Jaebum with the truth, that he couldn’t keep things from him forever.

"I don't want to." Jinyoung whined as he turned away from Jaebum and curled up. The elder rolled his eyes, Jinyoung saying things like that meant he was all there. He was himself and not mentally spacing anymore. That much made Jaebum happy. 

"Okay," Jaebum said. He his book down and reached to pick Jinyoung up. He pulled the younger up against him back into seated position.

"Waeee," Jinyoung responded. He squirmed quickly out of Jaebum’s grasp and laid back down. Jaebum smiled, something about Jinyoung’s whining could never make him mad. 

"You have to at least go home long enough to let your family know you're okay," Jaebum tried to convince to him, "then you can come back and sleep. You know they won't come here to ask for you." He had to get up at least long enough to show his face in his families home then Jaebum would be fine to let him return and go back to sleep.

"Good," Jinyoung grumbled again, "I don't want to talk to them." Had something happened with his father? Jaebum wondered if they’d fought.

"Jinyoung what happened?" Jaebum asked him. Jinyoung didn’t respond, he just laid with his eyes shut and if Jaebum left him too long he would fall asleep. “You're mad at me remember?" He hoped bringing up the argument from a week days before would get Jinyoung to move.

"Shut up," the younger responded, "you're right I am mad at you and I can be mad right here.” Jaebum laughed at him. He could be so completely stubborn.

"Stop laughing at me," Jinyoung turned over and glared at him.

"Okay," Jaebum stated, "but seriously, if you're mad at me shouldn't you storm off and slam some doors? That’s what you usually do.” Jinyoung groaned and Jaebum knew he was pushing it trying to make Jinyoung go home. If he stayed despite Jaebum’s teasing he would know something was really off beyond the normal arguments with his father.

"I'm too tired," Jinyoung said with frustration. He reached and pulled the pillow from behind Jaebum's back instead and threw it on the floor. Jaebum rolled his eyes and responded by pulling the pillow out from under Jinyoung's head and throwing it on his face. Two could play at that game easily. Jinyoung responded by rolling over and putting his arm under his head, unfazed by everything. Jaebum knew very well how to read Jinyoung when given time, he was beginning to see what was wrong. He had experienced it himself. He should have realized sooner.

"Yang came to see you," Jaebum identified it, "didn't he?" Jinyoung shivered and he way his eyes opened, it was there in the look in his eyes. Jaebum knew it was true. The wait was over, President Yang had threatened Jinyoung and someone Jinyoung cared about. It always went that way.

"Who did he threaten?" Jaebum asked, he was afraid of the answer. He didn't want to see anything happen to Youngjae.

Jinyoung looked at him and Jaebum regretted asking. The way Jinyoung shut down, the way he looked so afraid seemed to point to Youngjae. But he wasn’t clinging to Youngjae, he wasn’t there with his brother. That made it clear and Jaebum realized why Jinyoung wasn’t leaving his side. It was him. Yang had threatened Jaebum’s life. He took a deep breath, and pulled Jinyoung up into his arms to hold him close

"It'll all be okay." Words like those were meant to comfort but he knew that usually preceded the fact that nothing would be okay.

"It won't be," Jinyoung said, he was shaking as Jaebum realized the meeting was probably replaying in his mind.

"He can't hurt me," Jaebum said as he held him, "nothing is going to happen to me, I promise." Jinyoung tapped his fist against Jaebum's arm. It was a habit the younger had developed over the months, tapping things to avoid panic attacks; counting taps. 

"He said I have to pacify the districts," Jinyoung whispered, the tapping increased in speed, "I don't know what to do." Jaebum wondered if Jinyoung even noticed he was tapping when he did it. Still bigger things were at hand.

"You know I'll be right there with you on the tour, right?" He wanted to make that clear to Jinyoung, that he wouldn’t be alone. Jaebum would help him and so would the others. They would support him to get him through it. Jinyoung nodded.

"So I will help you," Jaebum said gently, "nothing is going to go wrong. You can do this, I know you can.” Jinyoung nodded again but Jaebum could tell he didn't believe it. He was afraid, that's why he had shut down the day before. It was why he was trying to hole up in Jaebum’s room instead of continuing on with the things he would normally do with his day.

"It's just," Jinyoung whispered and Jaebum listened. "I didn't mean for any of this to happen, I didn't know any of this would happen." Of course he had’t meant for it to happen. He’d expected to die in that arena, sword in his own body instead of Minho’s. 

"Yeah but I knew It was coming,” Jaebum responded, "so you can blame me and not yourself. It's a good thing Yang’s target is on me and not the others, I know how to fight back against him and they don’t.” Jinyoung's arms tightened around him.

"You didn't make me surrender my sword," Jinyoung said, "I did that of my own free well. I did this, I defied them.” 

"But if..." Jaebum stopped himself. He had wondered a hundred times, if Jungkook hadn't died would Jinyoung have stopped fighting? Or would he have done anything to protect the other? He knew though that if he brought up Jungkook, Jinyoung might shut down for a full day again. How would Jinyoung responded when they went to district 5? When they stared at the victors images, saw the fact that Jungkook's platform would be the only one with no one, no family. Was it better or worse that he had no one waiting for him?

"Jinyoung you can't be scared of everything." Jaebum chided him instead of speaking on the things that would make matters worse, "the President will make threats, but we are victors he can't touch me or you. We have the people behind us, we’re the public’s icons.” Jinyoung shook his head.

"He was very clear about what he’d do,” Jinyoung stated, "he's wanted to kill you for a long time." Jaebum smirked.

"Yeah he's wanted to," Jaebum replied, "but he hasn't. He can't. Victors have the support of the public. Yang survives because the public in the Capitol love him. He can oppress the districts but if he pissed the Capitol off he would be done for. None of them know how bad things are out here." Jaebum knew that what he was saying was only partially true, Yang was ruthless and powerful. His shows of strength got attention and a following of people loyal to him.

"I believe him," Jinyoung said, "and I won't let anything happen to you." 

Jaebum patted his back.

"I don't need you to protect me Jinyoung-ah," Jaebum whispered, "I am supposed to protect you." 

Jinyoung tightened his grip on his mentor.

"It goes both ways," Jinyoung replied.

Jaebum smiled again, he was glad the younger felt that way. Jinyoung would mostly denyhe cared anything about Jaebum, their relationship was different. They fought a lot but Jaebum knew the deep friendship they had formed was worth it. They would take care of each other, and protect each other. They understood each other. He was so happy to have Jinyoung as a friend in his life. Before he’d had no one, he didn’t feel alone after Jinyoung came back out of the arena.

 

He smiled at the grip Jinyoung had on him. Jinyoung had opened up a lot more in past months they’d been together, but he still rarely did anything like this. It made Jaebum think that no matter what happened, even if everything they wanted was torn from them. They would have each other. He liked when Jinyoung was clingy.

Jaebum had changed since he’d met Jinyoung. The younger had just been a stupid pretty boy with the attitude, one that seemed to have a vocabulary limited to the word asshole & voice that never stopped shouting at him. It had been a game for Jaebum when they’d first met because of what he saw in Jinyoung. Things had changed so much since then, and there were some things Jaebum wasn’t sure he was ready to admit about how much he cared for Jinyoung. He wasn’t sure the younger felt quite the same.

"It'll all be alright in the end," Jaebum said to him, "but right now, you need to show your family you're okay. Youngjae doesn't deserve you making him worry like this." Jaebum knew the younger wouldn't be able to resist if he mentioned his younger brother. Jinyoung nodded and Jaebum knew he’d gotten through to him.

"I will," Jinyoung said, "if you come with me and stay for dinner." Jaebum was sure the younger was smirking even if he couldn't see his face at the moment. He didn’t expect Jaebum to say yes, Jaebum never went to that house with Jinyoung’s father there to talk him down or glare at him.

"Okay," Jaebum agreed because he knew Jinyoung needed to go back. It didn't really matter to him if people didn't like him, he usually stayed away just to keep the peace. He would he happy to see Youngjae again in any case. They both agreed and got up and walked over to Jinyoung’s house together. Jaebum knew it could go horribly wrong but he would be there for Jinyoung regardless. The younger clearly needed him for that day. 

"Dad, I'm home," Jinyoung shouted, but he didn't seem like he cared. Youngjae was the first one to greet them. Youngjae ran into the main hall hug Jinyoung, he seemed worried and Jaebum was glad he was able to convince JInyoung to return.

“Jinyoung please don’t go away again,” Youngjae was crying in seconds. Jaebum only wished had been able to convince Jinyoung to go home sooner. He also did understand the younger needed shelter, a place to get away where someone did understand which was why he’d told Jinyoung he could come anytime and stay as much as he wanted.

"I'm okay Youngjae," Jinyoung said to his brother. Youngjae looked up and smiled upon seeing Jaebum.

"Hi Jaebum hyung," Youngjae greeted him, "I knew he was with you but I still missed him,and dad and Mark wouldn't let me go over to see you both." Jaebum knew Youngjae was strictly not allowed at his home, perks of Jinyoung’s father hating him.

"Is Mark here?" Jinyoung asked and Youngjae nodded. Jaebum knew exactly what he was walking into, Jinyoungs father and Mark would not be happy to see him. Having the both of him glaring and making comments was something he’d just have to ignore. They would definitely be upset with how Jinyoung obviously could use Jaebum as a shield to hide from his family. Anytime Jinyoung was upset all he needed to do was run to Jaebum’s house and none of them would come look for him. 

Jaebum honestly didn't fully blame them for disliking him. They’d had a hard time with Jinyoung since they got back and Jaebum being there didn’t seem to help the case at all. But the fact was that they were not helping Jinyoung recover, Jaebum knew he was. Jaebum was in thought as Mark appeared in the main hallway.

"Jinyoung don't do that again!" Mark scolded and he glanced at Jaebum before turning back into the the main part of the house. Jaebum knew he was probably going to to warn Jinyoung's father that Jaebum was there.

"Maybe it's better that I'm not here," Jaebum said to Jinyoung. Jinyoung glared and grabbed his arm and pulled him the way Mark had gone. He wasn’t getting out of it.

"Nonsense," Jinyoung said, "they'll have to get used to you sooner or later, why not sooner." Jaebum smiled at the determination of the younger, but Jinyoung couldn't change their minds even by sheer strength of will.

"Dad," Jinyoung said as he walked into the kitchen, "you've got one more for dinner." He didn’t even look twice at his father as he walked Jaebum into the dining room and sat him in a chair.

"Dinner's not ready yet," Jinyoung's father called out.

"Well we're patient," Jinyoung remarked back to him as he sat down next to Jaebum.

Jaebum had to marvel at Jinyoung's determination to get Jaebum into his family's good graces. Or maybe he was just trying to keep the elder glued to his side so no one in the family would dare scold him. Jinyoung's father could be hospitable at times when he had to, but Mark was a different story. 

Mark had no problem openly criticizing Jaebum and Jinyoung would always fight him. Mark and Jinyoung were best friends growing up and Jaebum didn’t want to come between them. He felt part of Mark’s problem with him was jealousy at how close Jinyoung and Jaebum had become. Jaebum and Jinyoung shared experiences and things that Mark could never understand, it was just how it was.

"Jinyoung hyung," Youngjae said as he entered the room and sat down across from Jinyoung, "please don't be mad at me." The hardness in Jinyoung's eyes broke at those words from his brother.

"I'm not mad at you Youngjae-ah," Jinyoung said to him, "why would you think that?"

"Just because dad said you're mad at everyone," Youngjae said, "and that's why you wouldn't come home." Jaebum wanted to put his head in his hands, he didn’t understand what Jinyoung’s father was trying to do. He knew the man did care about his sons, but he had no idea how to show it.

"I was mad at dad," Jinyoung responded, "but not at you Jae." He reached across the table and ruffled Youngjae's hair. Jaebum remembered him doing the same thing to Jungkook during the games, and hoped Jinyoung didn’t think about it.

They heard a door open and close. Jinyoung's head moved at the sound. Jaebum saw in the way his eyes snapped and his hand twitched how unexpected noises still affected him. Jinyoung was tapping again, this time it was his fist against his leg. Jaebum just wished he could do more for him, to somehow remind him that it was all over. The door opened and closed again. Jaebum wished he could stop Jinyoung from feeling the way he obviously felt. 

"Dinner's about ready," Mark said as he came into the room just to annouce it and he left just as fast. This was going to be an awkward meal for sure. When Mark and Jinyoung's father entered around ten minutes after things did get awkward but Jinyoung didn't seem to care. He keep sassing back to all their questions. Neither of them paid much attention to Jaebum until Mark decided to address him.

"So Jaebum," Mark asked him, "what are your plans to further use Jinyoung in your angering of the Capitol." Jinyoung dropped his fork, the loud clanging made Youngjae jump.

"Mark," Jinyoung shouted his name in frustration. Jaebum held his hand up to try and stop the argument before it started.

"Jinyoung," the younger's father spoke in frustration at him, “do not yell at the dinner table!”

"What I want to know," Mark said to Jinyoung, he knew exactly what he was doing.

"You don't know or understand anything," Jinyoung said to him in frustration, "so just stop."

"Jinyoung it's okay," Jaebum said, he reached a hand towards Jinyoung’s closest to him to comfort him. Jinyoung wound his hand around Jaebum’s for a moment.

"It's not," Jinyoung said back, "I don't understand why you are all so mad at Jaebum. It’s been months, get over it!" Jinyoung spoke to Mark and his father. "Jaebum helped me get through the games and he is helping me now more than any of you are. Why can't you understand that? He doesn’t deserve this, you all make everything insane because you can’t stand that he understands me better now, just stop!” Jinyoung threw his napkin on the table and stood up.

“You get back here right now,” Youngmin shouted for his son as Jinyoung began to storm out.

“No,” Jinyoung responded, “I’m not hungry anymore!” Jaebum looked at Youngjae in concern and saw how the younger hand shrunk back against his chair and fixated his eyes on his plate.

“You will not talk to me like that,” Youngmin called for him.

“You have no right to tell me what to do!” Jinyoung shouted, “you have no right at all.” He rushed out quickly and Jinyoung’s father just put his head in his hands. Dinner had turned chaotic so quickly.

"Excuse me," Jaebum said as pushed his chair back and he stood up to go after Jinyoung.

"You stay right here," Mark declared, "I'll go after him." Jaebum sighed, neither of them got it at all.

"You don't get to decide that," Jaebum stated, "Jinyoung is right that neither of you understand anything." He walked out and completely ignored their expressions as he did. They didn't get to speak. They’d been willfully blind to so much of what had gone on for so long. They’d let things get so bad… Jaebum didn’t want to think about the battle they’d faced. Jaebum found Jinyoung in the street staring up at the snow that fell. He could see the younger shaking, he knew the memories the snowfall brought back to him were traumatic.

"Jinyoung-ah," Jaebum said, "come back inside he said, don't be a baby." Jaebum wanted to snap him out of what he was clearly thinking with banter. Jinyoung was under too much pressure with the visit from the president. Jaebum understood it would have to be addressed as tour approached. Jinyoung didn't look at him, he was tapping his fists against his side again, counting.

He was trying to block it all out. Jaebum walked forward and grabbed his hands to get his focus back on him and not on the things he didn’t want to remember. Jinyoung didn’t even look at him, he was spacing out.

"You shouldn't stay out here in the cold," Jaebum said, once again trying, "just come back inside." Jinyoung looked blank, and Jaebum understood he wasn't there at the moment. He had blocked it all out again, it was another way he coped.

"Jinyoung-ah," he said his name softly. He’d been where Jinyoung was, he knew what it was like.

"What's wrong with him," Mark's voice was behind them. Jaebum shook his head and looked back towards Jinyoung’s friend.

"He’s blocking out input, It happens to a lot of the victors," Jaebum said to Mark, "he needs time." He knew Jinyoung could hear him, Jinyoung could understand. He was just locking himself down to try and cope.

"Come inside," Jaebum said to him softly again. Jinyoung finally looked at him in response, his eyes so desperate searching for something. Jaebum understood.

"Jinyoung," Mark spoke softly and apologetically, "I'm sorry, you can come back, I won’t say anything like that again." 

"It's not about that," Jaebum said to him, " it’s the snow that makes him remember when he doesn’t want to." He embraced Jinyoung as to cover his eyes from everything. Jinyoung responded by clinging to him.

"You can't bring him back in there like this," Mark said, "it'll scare Youngjae. I'll tell them you're taking him just until he calms down…”

"Why don't you understand," Jaebum said to Mark, "you and Youngmin just don’t get it. Jinyoung needs your help now, Youngjae isn’t scared of Jinyoung..." He didn’t understand why they kept saying that. "You can't force him to stop this. Yes it's scary not to understand. It's not easy to deal with someone who won't speak, someone who panics at the shadows that you can’t see; but you shouldn't abandon him, or push him further than he is willing to go. He's been through more than you understand." Mark was silent, looking to Jaebum as if finally willing to listen.

"He'll respond to you," Jaebum said to Mark, "he knows you and he cares about you so he’ll respond if you’re there for him. You just have to be patient with him, to stay by his side and never push him to far. You can help him if you choose to try." 

"Why are you telling me this?" Mark responded. Jaebum didn't say, he worried he wouldn't always be there. Despite what he said, President Yang's threat was real. And in that case it meant Jinyoung needed to learn to rely on someone else. On Mark, on his brother and his father. In case it happened, and the President really did kill him the others needed to be ready to support and fight for Jinyoung. Jinyoung was more important than him anyway. He was a symbol and there was no way he could reverse what had happened. Panem was awake and they had hope to fight. 

"I am telling you because I know you care about him," Jaebum said to Mark, "and he deserves to have more people around him who can help him through. It shouldn’t just be me. I'll take him for now, but know I won't always be here and when I am not you need to step up." Mark didn’t respond with words, he just nodded. Jaebum turned and led Jinyoung back to his home, he would keep him safe whatever it took.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading this chapter. Please comment and let me know what you think. I'm going to try to update every Monday/Tuesday but I decided to put out an early update this time around. Expect the next update then. Thank you for reading.
> 
> Comments are a writers best friend.


	3. Tour's Edge

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jinyoung prepares for tour and the reality of what he has to do.

Jinyoung sat with Mark on the side of the hill looking down into the forest he had called home for most of his life. He wanted to find peace there, he wanted to stop seeing things that weren’t there. The forest of district 12 had once saved his life. It haunted him, he knew it wasn’t the same forest but it was difficult to fight how he felt. He wished he could force the snow to melt its stains off that place. He wished he could bury it.

“When does the tour leave?” Mark asked him. Tour… he’d never looked forward to that aspect of being a victor but it was more horrific realizing so much depended on it.

“Tomorrow,” Jinyoung said to him.

“Are you ready?” He knew he wasn’t.

“No one could be ready for what I have to do,” Jinyoung said. The air was cold and he could feel it in the air that more snow was going to fall.

“Jinyoung,” Mark said, “what’s been bothering you?” More questions, answers he didn’t want to give.

“You wouldn’t care if you knew,” Jinyoung said. Mark didn’t care about what the President had threatened, he wouldn’t see Jaebum’s life as valuable or worth Jinyoung fighting for.

“How do you know that?” Mark asked him. Jinyoung looked down at the snow, at his past and his future.

“I just know Mark,” Jinyoung said. And he did know. Mark wouldn’t understand the threats and the truth that if something happened to Jaebum, Jinyoung would shut down for good. Jaebum was the only thing holding him together, the only one that could keep him from folding in on himself. He was the only one who understood. 

The morning air was crisp, being with Mark was comfortable. But Mark hadn’t experienced it, he wouldn’t get any of it. His life was district 12 and surviving, but Jinyoung’s live was beyond in places Mark couldn’t see. Jinyoung didn’t belong to himself anymore, it was so clear that he wondered if he ever had. Everything he’d ever done had been driven by a need to survive, he hadn’t had that need in the end of the games. In the moment he’d accepted death he’d won.

“I’m sorry Jinyoung,” Mark said to him, “none of this should have ever happened to you.” Jinyoung bit his lip, he didn’t want to cry here. Crying and looking out at the forest… There were things he didn’t want to face that were always right in front of him.

“It won’t always be this way,” Mark said, his tone had shifted. 

“What do you mean?” Jinyoung asked.

“I mean things are changing. Since the games, since what you did; everything is changing.” Jinyoung shook his head. He knew what Mark was saying, he knew how dangerous it was. 

“I didn’t want this,” he admitted, “I wanted to die, that’s why I did it. I didn’t want to go on anymore.”

“Jinyoung what are you saying?” Mark asked him, tears were in the elders eyes. Jinyoung knew how hard it was to face the truth. He’d kept it inside for so long. Mark didn’t know the true reason, he didn’t see Jinyoung had his lowest. He didn’t know how far the torment in Jinyoung’s mind had gone.

“I put my sword down,” Jinyoung said, “I wanted to be a martyr, I wanted Minho to kill me.” Tears were hot in his own eyes. “I didn’t want this.” He didn’t want to face what his own actions could bring.

“Jinyoung,” Mark said his name emotionally before embracing him. Jinyoung didn’t return it, because he was trying to hold it in. That admission didn’t come easy. Everyone thought he was brave, that he had tried to become a symbol. But he was really a coward who was looking for a way out. It wasn’t fair for them to put so much on him that he wasn’t.

“I’m so sorry,” Mark said, “we never thought...”

“Of course you didn’t,” Jinyoung replied with an ironic laugh, “who would? Everyone went crazy for what was just... they didn’t get it.” The games had destroyed him. He wasn’t a hero for falling apart in the end.

“You’re very brave Jinyoung,” Mark said he was crying more, “to go through all that...”

“It wasn’t bravery...” Jinyoung choked, “It was me trying to get out of this. It was me being too scared to face the consequences… It was all for nothing. I never wanted to be this, I would rather be nothing.” He hated that Yang knew his name, knew who his family were.

“Jinyoung you have to understand that what happened was a good thing,” Mark said softly, “people hope again because of you. Because of you things can finally change. Maybe we’ll finally have freedom and no more kids will go to their death...”

“But what is the cost?” Jinyoung asked desperately, “millions more could die in a war and it all could be for nothing! A revolution could end all of us.”

“You don’t believe that,” Mark said to him, “it’s our only chance.” Jinyoung shook his head but he couldn’t tell Mark the whole truth. He didn’t tell him, President Yang knew everything and if Jinyoung dared to believe again he would lose too much. He had to end all talks of a revolution, to stop them from hoping again. Mark would be angry if he told him that he’d trade it all away for Jaebum’s life to be saved.

Mark would especially be angry if he found out the price Jinyoung was willing to pay. A single threat on Jaebum’s life and he would throw it all away. What more if that threat moved to Youngjae again? Jinyoung knew by now what he would always do. He’d rather die than to have them torn from him. He would protect the people he loved. He couldn’t bear to lose one more, not after how much had happened. Everyone had a price, his just happened to be easy for his enemies to see. The people he loved… he didn’t want to think about how easy Jaebum fit into that. The image of his gentle expressions entered Jinyoung’s mind and he pushed it aside. 

Mark and Jinyoung walked back home together. It almost felt normal to Jinyoung, like he could have something of his old life. But he knew if he didn't succeed at the task assigned to him he would never have that. He walked into his house that afternoon thinking of how bad things could get. He was greeted by his father who was walking in the hall. His father gave him the cold shoulder, he was upset because Jinyoung had spent more time at Jaebum's then at home over the course of the last few days. Jaebum at least let him sleep all day if he wanted too where his dad kept forcing him to wake up.

He preferred it when his dad wasn’t trying to reclaim his place as a father in Jinyoung’s life. He’d lost that right a long time before when he’d all but abandoned his sons. Jinyoung did realize how much like his father he was, because he was in a way doing the same thing his dad had done when his mother had died. Shutting down, pushing everyone away. But it was different, what Jinyoung was going through was so much more.

It seemed a lot of things changed he was in the Capitol. His father had gotten himself back together for Youngjae and had started working as a doctor again but only for the children. So his father was often out even though the Capitol had basically given them no need to work again. Jinyoung had the feeling his father continued because he wanted to get away from Jinyoung. They were both uncomfortable around each other and Jinyoung had a lot of resentment towards him. 

He walked up to his room and flopped down onto his bed thinking about the monumental task he would have to fulfill before the week ended. He heard a knock at his door and he almost got up just to lock whoever was disturbing him out. Before he could the door opened and he saw Youngjae was there with a slate board in his hand.

"Jae," Jinyoung said holding his arms out to invite Youngjae to come and hug him, "What's wrong?" Youngjae looked upset.

"Dad said he didn't have time to help me with my homework," Youngjae replied, "I have to do this math problem but I don't know how." Jinyoung sighed, he wished he could help Youngjae with his problem. His lack of schooling was one of the low points of his childhood. He’d had to stop attending just so they could survive.

"Did you ask Mark?" Jinyoung asked. Their friend had actually continued lessons till he was old enough to take a job at the mines. Mark usually helped Youngjae.

"He's at the mines," Younjae responded and he sat down on the bed next to Jinyoung.

"Jae you know I don't know this stuff," Jinyoung said to him. His brother was always aware that Jinyoung was never able to help with this. He had just learned to read and write few months before.

"I know," Youngjae said with a pout, "I was just thinking you could ask Jaebum to help. He knows this stuff." Jinyoung smirked, the elder probably did know what to do. Still his father would he unhappy if he brought Youngjae over there... Jinyoung decided he didn't care. He would be happy to be back at Jaebum’s and it would be good for Youngjae to get the help he ended.

"Well let's go then," Jinyoung said. He stood up and took Youngjae's hand. They left the house quickly and went to the one next door. Jinyoung didn't knock, he never knocked. The elder never asked him to knock since this was practically his second home and the door was always unlocked for him. Jinyoung even had clothes there due to how much he’d stayed over but for some reason he preferred wearing Jaebum’s clothes. They always smelled good, like him.

"Jaebum," Jinyoung called out as he walked in with a smile on his face.

"I swear you always walk in yelling for me," Jaebum’s voice responded and the elder walked into the main hall of the house which was similarly laid out to Jinyoung’s. Jinyoung saw how the elders eyes lit up upon seeing him then shifted to land on Youngjae, "what's going on?"

"Youngjae needs help on a math problem," Jinyoung said to him as he ushered Youngjae forward. The younger boy was always shy around Jaebum. Jinyoung could see Youngjae really liked the elder. Jaebum leaned over to embrace Jinyoung for a moment before turning completely to Youngjae.

"Well come on," Jaebum said. He fully understood the situation, "let's go sit down and go over it.” Jinyoung felt his face heat up a bit but like everything else to do with Jaebum he pushed it aside. He watched Jaebum’s back as he walked with Youngjae towards his main room. Jaebum was broad, Jinyoung admired how he was built. He rolled his eyes and mentally slapped himself before following them. He would read something from Jaebum’s collection while the other two worked.

Their afternoon was well spent, Jaebum taught Youngjae what he needed to do and Jinyoung picked out a new book to start. They left in time for dinner and Youngjae was much happier. Jinyoung wanted to stay and take a nap in Jaebum’s arms but he knew he had to walk Youngjae back and face their father’s scolding for going over.

They walked back to their house to find their father was gone. It was better that way. Jinyoung worked on fixing dinner, he had done it for years so it was simple. Life had changed so much since then. They had plenty of food and more was easy to come by since he was a victor and had enough money to buy whatever he wanted. He didn’t really manage the finances, he’d let his father handle it but he knew how to draw upon his funds whenever he needed them. He did’t ever have desires for much materially, so he rarely used his money to buy anything but food.

"Jinyoung hyung," Youngjae said, "I don't want you to go tomorrow, I missed you when you were gone." They sat at the table together and Jinyoung sighed. He wished he didn’t have to go.

"I know Jae," Jinyoung said, "but I have no choice but to go.” 

"You'll be back right?" the younger asked him.

"Of course I will," Jinyoung said to him, "I promise. This is just a short tour, i’ll be back before you know it.”

“And Jaebum too?” Youngjae said. He knew how it worked, Jaebum would be going with Jinyoung. Jinyoung was happy that Youngjae had warmed up to Jaebum so quickly since he was a part of their life now.

“Yes and Jaebum too,” Jinyoung smiled at his younger brother. His actual reason for living after he broke from what happened. Seeing Youngjae changed his perspective. Seeing Youngjae helped him try to move forward but it wasn’t easy. It was never going to be easy. Jaebum always told him it would take time. Jinyoung often wondered how long it had taken Jaebum. He went to the arena too, he suffered there as well and he knew about the time it took.

That evening Jinyoung made sure Youngjae was okay in his bed before Jinyoung went to his own room to sleep. He was feeling better after a day that felt normal. For a moment he felt like things would be fine. Maybe they would all make out of this. Everyone he loved would make it out. He would fight for them.

—————

Jinyoung slept soundly through the night, somehow able to forget his worries due to just being with his younger brother but his peaceful sleep wouldn't last. He woke up when someone decided to jump on his bed which caused him to wake up frightened and startled. He was stunned till he looked up to see the person who had so rudely woken him up was his own personal demon, Kim Taehyung. The kid had the biggest smile in the world on his face as he sat next to Jinyoung.

“Hello,” Taehyung said with an excited wave of his hand. Jinyoung took in the fact that Taehyung’s hair was bright red and now the yellow blonde it had been the last time he had seen him. The way he smiled and beamed was the same as ever which helped him in identifying his friend.

“Hi,” Jinyoung responded before he pulled his covers over his head. He wasn’t ready for this. He thought he would meet his styling team on the train not that they would come to his own house.

“Wake up wake up,” Taehyung said with a bit of a bounce that shook the bed, “we have a lot of work to do hyung, it’s time to wake up.”

“Tae just let me sleep,” Jinyoung whined at him.

“But Jinyoungie,” Taehyung said practically falling on him and knocking the wind out of him, “Jinyoungie you’ve got to get up so we can get ready to go! Jaebummie and BamBammie are here and your hair looks like it hasn’t been brushed in ten months!” Jinyoung wondered why he had suddenly decided to but an ‘ie’ to everyone’s names. He knew there was no winning against Taehyung either, he wasn’t going to be allowed to go back to sleep. 

“Fine,” Jinyoung groaned and he sat up to let Taehyung fix his hair. He didn’t admit it but he had very much missed the younger. He hadn’t forgotten the way Taehyung had taken care of him before and after the games. He hadn’t forgotten Taehyung’s story. He thought of the younger kid as one of his good friends, someone he could trust and rely on.

“Tae how are things?” Jinyoung asked him. Taehyung shrugged as he pulled out his kit and began to go to work. He was glad to see him, he did feel genuinely interested in what they’d been doing since he last saw them.

“BamBam is practically famous,” Taehyung replied, “I work for him now, he designs clothes for everyone. Hani claims she discovered him, but he’s literally larger than life. Of course he will still always help 12 as well but now he’s got a lot to do when the games aren’t going on.” Jinyoung was glad to hear BamBam had found some success, he deserved it and Taehyung seemed happy.

"This won't do at all," Taehyung whined as he put his brush down dramatically, "we need to start from scratch, bathe, treat, trim..."

"Woah," Jinyoung responded, he had to reign him in, "we're just going to the train, we don't need to do all that." He didn’t want to go through it all again, he was too tired.

"Oh no," Taehyung replied, "the cameras will be on you the moment you step outside that door. We need to make sure you look absolutely perfect!”

"We don't have time," Jinyoung whined back, he hated the treatments from the games. Even if it was Taehyung, they were so invasive. "I don't need all that, just brush my hair and that will be enough.”

"No you don't understand," Taehyung told him, "we're hear early for a reason now come on!" He pulled at Jinyoung’s arm to get him out of the bed.

"You're serious," Jinyoung whined, he knew he was about to loose the battle.

"Absolutely," Taehyung stated, "you are not to go down there until you are perfect..."

—————

Jaebum had been up early and he was glad, because the first door they had come to was his. Hani led the team she was excited and he was not, he was going to miss his peaceful times at home. They had all walked over to Jinyoung's house as a group. Taehyung broke off from the rest to go prep Jinyoung. Youngmin was not happy with the intrusion of the outlandish prep team, he had taken one look at them and walked away. Jaebum didn’t balme him for that response, Hani had green hair and BamBam's had been colored white. Taehyung had adopted BamBam's bright red color from the year before. Jaebum knew them well, he was glad to see them but he also knew how exhausting they could be.

"Tell me," BamBam clearly wanted to talk seriously, "how is Jinyoung really doing?" Jaebum knew they all remembered well the immediate aftermath. Most tributes didn't responded as Jinyoung had right after they were taken out. Usually people were triumphant, excited that they’d won. It normally took a couple weeks for what they had gone through to sink in and start to mentally effect them. Jinyoung had crumbled immediately and his victory was much different.

"He's been doing okay," Jaebum said, “The hardest was the first four months, I tried not to be so involved the first two but he was really shutting down, and shutting everyone out. I've done my best but I think having you and the others here on tour will help."

"I hope so," BamBam said, "I want him to be okay. I heard rumors that someone was in 12…” Jaebum nodded but didn’t respond to his last statement. It was dangerous to talk of what happened out loud. They couldn’t trust that no one was listening, there was a camera crew outside and likely spies everywhere

"We're doing our best to help him,” Jaebum responded, "it would be better if his family helped more. This stuff is too hard for them and they're all out of sorts. He’s not easy to get through to and approach, it takes patience and they just don’t have it.”

“That definitely makes it worse,“ BamBam sighed. He was younger that Jaebum and even Jinyoung but he had a very level head about everything. He had a certain maturity for his age that Jaebum always admired. 

"It does," Jaebum stated, "which is why he was so bad off at first." Jaebum didn’t want to talk about all of what happened, it wasn’t his story to tell. Jinyoung deserved the right to privacy on all that they’d had to deal with in those first months. He’d made such an improvement since then that Jaebum didn’t like to look back except to see how far they’d come.

"Maybe being away will do him some good," BamBam replied. Jaebum wasn’t sure that was the case.

"Yeah but you know how this goes," Jaebum said, "the tour is never easy for anyone." It always came with threats, pressure from Yang and often ended with victors enslaved. Jaebum was determined not to ever let Jinyoung be alone with the president again.

"We'll make it easier," BamBam said, "Hani is writing is speeches, we know what's at stake here. We're here for you both." Jaebum knew what he meant. Like himself BamBam had seen potential threats coming from miles away. They all knew what Yang was capable of and what he would do if he felt it necessary. Jinyoung had only begun to imagine what their President would do to stay in power, he hadn’t yet seen what the man was capable of. They talked a bit more until Youngjae came into the main sitting room and sat next to Jaebum.

"Is this Jinyoung's brother?" BamBam asked, Jaebum could tell Youngjae was a little shy and kept looking away from the people in the room.

"Yes, this is Youngjae," Jaebum said, "and Youngjae this is BamBam and that is Hani." Youngjae smiled at them and waved awkwardly, the gesture reminded Jaebum of Jinyoung.

"You are so precious," Hani said, "look at you!"

"Hello Youngjae," BamBam spoke in greeting. Youngjae clung to Jaebum's arm as if he could hide behind it if he sunk back enough. 

"Are you here to take Hyung away?" Youngjae whispered softly to them.

"They're here to help," Jaebum replied and Youngjae nodded.

"Jinyoung hyung told me about them," Youngjae responded, "my dad told me to go to Mark's, but I want to say goodbye to hyung." Jaebum ruffled his hair and he was glad the younger hadn’t left.

"You're allowed to say goodbye," Jaebum said in response.

"But what if dad get's mad at me?" Youngjae asked.

"How could any one ever be mad at you Youngjae?” Jaebum asked him and Youngjae shook his head.

"My dad used to never talk to me," Youngjae replied, "now he talks to me all the time, because I think he misses when Jinyoung talked to him. Jinyoung doesn't talk to anyone anymore." Jaebum hadn’t heard anything from the younger about his perspective of what was going on.

"Jinyoung needs more time," Jaebum said to the younger, "he'll be talking more again before you know it. He's just had a hard time so far, that's all." 

"Jaebum is my brother broken?" Youngjae asked him straight up, "dad said he's broken." Jaebum exhaled, that was frustrating. Everything Youngmin did was just frustrating to him because he could see that the older man did care. Youngmin cared about his children and Jinyoung’s struggles hurt him. But Jaebum was frustrated with how the older man completely failed to see that his actions were adding to all the problems.

"He's not broken Youngjae," Jaebum replied, "he's just… he keeps remembering the bad things that happened and it makes him cry.” Youngjae looked sad upon hearing that. Jaebum knew that Youngjae was the only one from Jinyoung's family who actually was a positive influence in his recovery. Mark was getting there but he had a hard time accepting Jinyoung’s mental health struggles. Jaebum wanted to have words with his father but Youngmin wasn’t easy to talk to.

"Jaebum hyung I know what happened," Youngjae said to him, "I watched the games with dad and Mark." That frustrated Jaebum even more. Why had they let him watch the games when they knew it was very possible Jinyoung could die there? Youngjae would have been forced to witness his brothers death being broadcast to the entire nation. Nothing was on Jinyoung’s side during most of it. Why had he been allowed to watch that?

"I'm sorry Youngjae," Jaebum said to him, "you shouldn't have had to see that." He looked around to see Hani had left the room while BamBam had a faraway look in his eyes. Jaebum knew BamBam was listening, but he was respectfully staying out of the conversation.

"I wanted to," Youngjae said, "I needed to see if Jinyoung would make it. He volunteered because of me, and if my name hadn't been drawn he would have never had to go. It was his last year eligible." Jaebum could tell how torn up Youngjae was about all of it, and he wondered if anyone had talked the kid through it? None of it was his fault.

"Youngjae did anyone tell you it was your fault?" Jaebum had to know. He saw it in the way Youngjae's eyes widened it had happened, and he could guess who was behind telling the kid this.

"He shouldn't have gone for me," Youngjae had tears in his eyes.

"It wasn't your fault,” Jaebum said softly, he put an arm around him, “it wasn’t anywhere near your fault.” Youngjae wouldn't look at him.

"Youngjae look at me in the eyes," Jaebum asked and the child did, "it wasn't your fault. You didn't do anything wrong. Jinyoung did what he knew was right, and his choice in the end means you and him are both still here living. He doesn’t blame you, he wanted to save you and he did. That makes him happy. You're both going to be okay as long as you have each other.“ Jaebum was glad that the kids dad had stormed out that morning, because if he hadn't maybe no one would have been able to say this to Youngjae. That kid deserved so much more, so did Jinyoung.

"You don't have to worry," Jaebum said, "Jinyoung will be coming home very soon. We'll protect him and bring him back to you.“ Jaebum emphasized the truth. They would all continue to protect Jinyoung. No matter what Yang threw at them, Jinyoung would always make it home. That was the vow Jaebum had made before the games, and he would hold onto it.

The conversation was interrupted as they all heard a pounding down the hall of the second story. Someone was running towards the stairs and Jaebum’s eyes met BamBam’s. They both knew what was going on.

"Taehyung," BamBam said with a laugh. 

"He hasn't changed at all," Jaebum observed. The younger appeared in the doorway with a huge smile on his face.

"We're ready!" Taehyung said excitedly and then he spotted Youngjae and smiled even brighter, "you're Youngjae! You're his brother." Taehyung ran and grabbed his hands and pulled him and spun in a circle which changed the youngers mood and in the next moments Youngjae was laughing. "Just wait till you see your brother! He looks amazing!”

And that was when Jinyoung walked into the room. He was styled in layered coats and his hair and face done naturally as BamBam had always liked it. Jaebum realized he was staring… Jinyoung looked amazing. Jaebum found himself underestimating Jinyoung originally because he looked so pretty. Everything about what Taehyung did enhanced his natural looks instead of making him into another Capitol spectacle. Jaebum couldn’t keep his eyes away from him.

Jaebum forced himself to tear his eyes away and looked as BamBam high-fived Taehyung as they always did when a job was well done. Which was apparently all the time since Jaebum had seen the action so many times. They made a good team.

"I guess its time then," BamBam said as he moved forward and hug Jinyoung. 

"Youngjae," Jaebum beckoned the boy forward. Youngjae understood and went forward to hug his brother. Jinyoung’s expression softened as he 

"I wish you didn't have to go," Youngjae said and the others saw it fit to leave the two of them alone. Jaebum stayed within earshot so that he could walk next to Jinyoung when he went to face the cameras.

“I’ll be back before the snow melts Jae,” Jinyoung said to him, “I promise.” 

“I’ll miss you,” He could hear that Youngjae was crying. Jaebum’s heart broke for the two of them. He knew this wasn’t the first time that would happen or the last. There was much more to come.

“I’ll miss you too,” Jinyoung said and there was silence for moments. However brief the goodbyes were were they meant the world to the boys. When Jaebum heard footsteps and turned back to see Jinyoung walking towards the door. Everything would begin now. Jinyoung would begin a new fight he probably wasn’t ready for. But they were all there for him, he wouldn’t be alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please comment and let me know what you think. What's going to happen on tour? Lots to come!


	4. What Happened On Tour

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tour begins, and Jinyoung faces difficult times in the districts.

The train was more decadent then Jinyoung remembered. Something about it was more suffocating as he sat with his team eating lunch. They would arrive at district 11 first. Jinyoung didn’t know much about it and he was nervous. He wanted to be anywhere but where he was in that moment. Tour coming had weighed on him, being there was like a weight pressing around him.

“This is the biggest honor you will receive,” Hani had been going on and on all day, “I was thinking we could all wear green to the Capitol banquet. We should make green our team color!” Jinyoung just wanted silence, peace. He tapped his fist against his leg, he counted them. “You will get the finest of everything, no expense has been spared.” Jinyoung was getting really sick of hearing about all of it. He never asked for any of it he was frustrated. He just wanted to go back to sleep and forget the threats weighing on him.

“Excuse me,” Jinyoung said as he stood up, effectively cutting off Hani’s monologue, and he walked away. He walked through cars till he was in the back of the train, where he could see everything they passed. He just wanted to get away, to be away from everything he knew he couldn’t escape. The Presidents threat weighed heavy on his mind. How was he to accomplish the task? He had no idea. He didn’t want attention on him. He just wished it could all end.

He looked out into the forest, there was green where the train moved. The snow didn't exist in the valley where district 11 was, it made sense since they were headed towards farmland. He wished he could run away and live off the land. Never be seen or heard from again. Just him and Youngjae safe... 

"You know Taehyung apparently had a countdown started 3 months ago for today," He didn't need to turn, he knew Jaebum's voice. He had memorized it's timbre, it's color. He had memorized the other in so many ways in their proximity over the past months. He and the elder had gotten off on the wrong foot, had fought a lot more than they’d gotten along. Jinyoung didn’t know then how much he’d grow to rely on Im Jaebum.

"I'm sorry," Jinyoung said in response to Jaebum’s words. He didn’t mean to be pushing the others off, he just couldn’t handle them most of the time.

"You don't need to be sorry," Jaebum said. The elder sat next to him, "you just need to keep trying. You can't shut down on them, they're already worried about you."

"I don't chose to shut down," Jinyoung said to him, "it just happens. I can't control it." Jaebum knew what he was saying, but out loud Jinyoung wondered if he really did have some part to play in how he often felt..

"I think you could be more in control though," Jaebum reasoned with him, "if you started to list those things that make you shut down, then defeat them one by one." This wasn’t the first time they’d had the conversation, but it was good for Jaebum to keep reminding him.

"If that list keeps growing?" Jinyoung asked, "What then?" He needed to hear it.

"You keep going, you keep trying. You keep fighting,” Jaebum’s words filled his mind. Jinyoung liked the sound of his voice, it was calming to his mind. 

"I didn't want this battle though," Jinyoung stared at the scenery out the window as he listened and spoke, "you know that."

"Not all of us can chose the battles we face," Jaebum said, "that's life. I think what is most important to remember is you are strong enough for the fight at hand. There is nothing you’re facing that you can’t defeat. You will beat all of this, I know you will.” Jinyoung leaned on him and Jaebum wrapped an arm around him to help him settle more comfortably against him.

Maybe he would have to amend his running away plan to include Jaebum. Jinyoung kept it as a maybe in his mind despite how close they had become. Jaebum was a lot of what held him together, still Jaebum could be incredibly annoying. Having someone that was able to read him like Jaebum was too much at times. He needed to learn to read the other in return to show him how annoying it was. Perhaps he already could and he just needed to try to find out. 

He looked up to see Jaebum's full attention was on him. There was a posture to how he sat and Jinyoung realized that Jaebum was scared about this tour as well... Jinyoung liked noticing that, because it showed Jaebum was very much like him as well. Jaebum who could block it all out and stay level headed still could feel the heaviness of what was in front of them. The man who's whole life was once about finding a way to take down the evil in their world. He was different than he was those weeks. Was he really different, or had Jinyoung just come to know his truest self?

Jinyoung didn't know if Jaebum had changed or if he’d always been the person Jinyoung knew now. Jaebum had become a rock to him, a safe harbor. The elder had a lot of confidence but the edges to him that had once been sharp were starting to smooth, he was starting to become a leader. Jinyoung could see it all taking place before his eyes and he was glad. 

"I'm going to take a nap," Jinyoung said softly as he yawned, "right here." He leaned heavier on Jaebum and the elder laughed and patted his head.

"Fine but you'll never hear the end of it if you mess up your hair," Jaebum said, "Taehyung's going to go crazy."

"I don't care," Jinyoung closed his eyes found sleep was easy. It was always easy when Jaebum was there.

—————

Jinyoung napped until they got to District 11. Jaebum noticed the younger had been restless, he didn't normally move much in his sleep but Jaebum noticed the way the movement in his hands didn't stop even as he fell to sleep. The fear about what was to come, it was all over him. No one could take that away from him, Jaebum knew that. Still, he wished more than anything he could erase it. Fear was always the tool their enemies used to control them. 

Jinyoung's fear was palpable as he stood on the stage reading the speech Hani had written for him. Jaebum had told him just to remember to breathe and not to worry. He stumbled through the words, clearly trying to act out what was in front of him. The people in 11 didn't seem to buy any of it but no one made any move to riot so that was a success. He had heard 11 was slightly volatile not bad at all and was one of the easier stops they’d have to deal with.

After it was all over the young victor had gotten back into the train and gone to the back back car to fall asleep watching the view. Jaebum had no idea what to do to get him out of his current emotional slump. He wanted Jinyoung to realize he shouldn’t be afraid.

“He's worse off than you were," Hani said to Jaebum before walking to the dining car. She was right, it was worse, much much worse.

They got through district 10 and 9 the same, clear unrest but no incidents. The people looked genuinely confused upon seeing Jinyoung the way he was. Still nothing Jinyoung did could calm that tension. It was underneath the surface but to strong a flame for one boy to destroy. Jinyoung had started a fire, but that fire was beyond him now. What Yang had asked of him was impossible. The people had been fed lies so long now, they knew that nothing Jinyoung said was anything he believed. They could see it, and it enraged them more. Jaebum saw it all.

"He did as well as he could," BamBam said. Jinyoung had gone to sleep for the night in his room on the train. He wouldn’t have to deal with any more speeches until the morning. They would hit 3 districts again with 8, 7 and 6 being on that list. He was sure 8 and 7 would be the same as the others but he worried the most about 6 then 5 the day after.

Both districts 5 and 6 were the ones with the most unrest following the game and were the most downtrodden for their rebellious acts. District 6 had taken Minho's own sacrifice as a call for revolution while they had been rioting before after Jungkook's death. District 5 was the most broken. The riots there had apparently been insane. Jaebum heard words from 5, the people had marched on the orphanages and freed the children.

The people had decided that they would not allow the barbaric practice of orphans being the solution to fixing the Capitol's generators to continue. They had fought hard for it and actually won. The victors of the district were been the ones who sheltered the orphans in their homes. Namjoon, Yoongi, Jin and a couple older members of the community joined in to help them take care of the children. The Capitol didn't touch them for what they did but Jaebum could feel the hostility the president had for those victors over the years. Things were heating up.

"The real battle is far from over," Jaebum said to BamBam, "I don't know what to do." He didn’t know how to lift the burden that was placed on Jinyoung. The people expected something from him that he simply couldn’t give.

"Yes you do," BamBam replied, "You know what you need to do. You've been babying him this whole time, it's time to stop that." Jaebum didn’t necessarily agreed. He’d been pushing for Jinyoung to be empowered to move forward but things were complicated. He needed someone to be gentle with him.

"You haven't been thought it Bam," Jaebum replied, "It is incredibly difficult to get him to do anything and some days he really just needs someone to be there.”

"He's nineteen," BamBam said, "he's been through hell yes but he can't keep thinking that is all live has, that this is it. We have to be at least a bit tougher on him."

"I've been tough on him," Jaebum said. He’d pushed him enough, he knew that he couldn’t pus him too much.

"So letting him sleep all day is being tough on him?" BamBam said, "I bet you've been letting him storm out from whatever he wants to as well. You let him act as if he’s a child.” Jaebum always wondered how this kid knew things or was as wise as he was but Jaebum still worried there was a danger in trying to push Jinyoung before he was ready.

"It's better that he sleeps all day than to be in his head," Jaebum said, "You haven't seen him panic yet. It completely shuts him down and sometimes things trigger him into not speaking at all for hours. I am being patient, and that’s all we can do.” 

"I get that," BamBam said, "but we don't have time to wait for him to get better on his own. He can't be shut down when the President makes a move. We have to wake him up somehow, find out what he really thinks about himself and show him his true worth.” 

"I already know what he thinks about himself," Jaebum responded, "he hates himself, that ending was real. He really did want it to be over.” Jaebum knew what all it meant, what went into the feelings Jinyoung carried with him out of the games. It wasn’t as easy as moving on, there were things he had to work through that he was still facing. It wasn’t as easy as just moving on.

"Well then give him a reason to live," BamBam replied, "to really live."

"He has that," Jaebum replied, "he has that many times over." Jaebum knew where that reason was, it was in Youngjae. That should have been enough, his brother should been enough for him to fight the depression. With that reason it would take time.

"I just want him to be okay," BamBam said.

"I know," Jaebum replied, "and see part of this as my fault. I played my own game, and he has suffered because of it." 

"But that wasn't all on you," of course BamBam wouldn't blame him in any way, "Jinyoung made his own choices, that's why we're here now."

"Yeah and he doesn't blame me either," Jaebum recounted what he knew. Jinyoung never blamed him even when he should have. Instead he leaned and looked to Jaebum to help him.

"I don't get it,” BamBam admitted, "why is he taking this so badly? I haven't seen a victor act like this before."

"It's because he had hope that he could get Jungkook out," Jaebum said, "then he had hope he could get Sana out." Jaebum remembered watching it all, seeing everything the younger was feeling, the hope disappearing from his eyes. "He spent all his hope, and he gave it to a nation."

"Then we'll just have to give some back to him," BamBam replied, "and I think I have an idea."

—————

Jinyoung woke up screaming...

It hadn't happened in awhile, but the things he dreamt were too real. He couldn't stop the images from replaying his brain as he clawed at his head as if to pull them out. He couldn't handle them, not in how they pushed into his. He didn't want to see them die again yet they kept coming to him over and over in his dreams.

He didn’t scream he didn’t cry out again, he couldn’t breathe as it all set into his chest. He couldn’t catch a breaths as they raced away from him as it his chest had decided he wasn’t allowed to breathe even as he tried so hard to take a breath. Images from the arena floated through his mind, those images damaged fractures of his imagination. He sought a single reprieve, no ticking clock was there to guide him in his bed on the train.

He put his hands over his mouth and hoped that he could stop it if he swallowed it down. He only saw darkness around him and the images were so strong. He was paralyzed in that moment from the fear gripping his chest. Fear that he would watch more die, fear of the dreams he had were they all died.

He heard shouting, it was distant. The only thing he could focus on was the sound of his own heaving breaths that he tried so hard to silence. He wanted to stop but he couldn’t control it. Voices called, voices he couldn't get a focus on. With everything racing, he chased a sound hoping it could lead him out. He suddenly heard a voice closer, a voice telling him to hold his breath. A voice counting. Something for him to focus on other than his fear. The counting. He listened to its rhythm and worked on holding it in. Holding back. He had to listen. The images began to fade.

He slowly steadied his breathing over what felt like the course of an eternity, and with the sounds of the numbers he felt grounded. He felt steadySteady. His hands tapped gently in time to the numbers as he began to take in his surroundings. He was no longer blinded by the haze. The fear that had it's hands on him faded and the pressure on his chest released.

He turned to look and face the person who was still counting. To tell him he was okay, he already knew who it was. It was always Jaebum who knew how to fix it. Jaebum always came to help him. The elder's eyes were full of concern and Jinyoung leaned toward him before he registered that there were other people in the room. He wanted them to go, and to stop watching him.

"Okay everyone go back to sleep," Jaebum said. He instantly understood what was going through Jinyoung's head. They all complied and left, the last one closed the door on the way out. Jinyoung clung to Jaebum, his lifeline. Jaebum put an arm around him and pulled him close.

"Are you going to be okay?" Jaebum asked him. Jinyoung didn't respond, he just wanted to lean into Jaebum and sleep with the elder’s comforting embrace.

"Go back to sleep," Jaebum said, he let go of Jinyoung and got up as it to leave. Jinyoung was confused as he looked after him. He always stayed when Jinyoung had a panic attack. Why would he leave?

"Jaebum," he said the elders name and the elder turned back.

"You're alright, go to sleep,” Jaebum said softly and he opened the door and left. Jinyoung was completely taken aback. Jaebum never did anything like that. He was completely confused, where was this behavior suddenly coming from. What was Jaebum trying to do? He didn't like it one bit. He wasn't sure what to do, he wanted to follow after the elder but Jaebum clearly didn’t want to stay.. 

He was prideful but he was certain sleeping alone after nightmares like that was a bad idea. He was so confused as to why Jaebum would leave him?? He glared at the door as he laid back down, he was very upset with the elder for just leaving. Still he would not be the one going after him, he would probably just give him an extreme cold shoulder in the morning.

Jinyoung closed his eyes and drifted off in his frustrations. He woke up more through the night, and each time he kept to his decision to stay where he was though he was very upset about all of it. When morning came he refused to go to breakfast after Taehyung and BamBam got him ready for the day ahead. He instead sat in his room with a book.

"Jinyoung," BamBam said, "you have to come to breakfast." Jinyoung paid him no mind, as he continued to just read his book.

"Jinyoung come to breakfast," Jaebum's voice called out towards his room, still Jinyoung didn't pay attention.

"Jinyoung breakfast is ready,” Hani declared as she walked by the doorway. He didn’t even give her a glance.

"Jinyoungie breakfast is delicious!" Taehyung bounced to the door. He was the last one to come and attempt to get him. The younger was more pushy than the others. He jumped on the bed and pushed Jinyoung's book down away from his face so Jinyoung could see him pouting. Jinyoung almost gave in but then he had an idea.

"Taehyung," Jinyoung said, “can you get two plates of food, yours and mine and come eat in here with me? Then it can be just me and you. We can catch up on the last 10 months while we eat.” Taehyung looked excited by that idea.

"Okay Hyung!" he said, "I'll get the food!" It was too easy. Jinyoung let Taehyung in and then locked the door to keep the others out. Taehyung spoke animatedly about what he had been up to the last five months Jinyoung was able to stay very quiet and listen. He didn’t have much he wanted to say, and Taehyung had no problem filling the silence on his own. A knock on the door brought them both out of their conversation.

"Who is it?" Taehyung asked, he was excited about the whole arrangement.

"It's Jaebum," the elders voice sounded calm, "open the door." Taehyung was about to leap up and open it when Jinyoung grabbed his wrist. He wasn’t about to let Jaebum interrupt his peaceful morning. The elder didn’t deserve any sort of good response from him.

"Don't open it," Jinyoung whispered before he took another bite of his food.

"But Hyung he probably has something important to tell us," Taehyung whined. Jinyoung doubted he had anything important to say, he probably was just there to tell them to eat with the group.

"He's going to try and make us eat out there," JInyoung said, “we’re having fun in here so don't answer it." Taehyung looked confused but obliged, he liked spending time with Jinyoung and Jinyoung knew that. It was too easy to use him to get away from the others. He did feel a bit bad but Taehyung was happy so it was worth it.

"Taehyung," Jinyoung said, "tell me more about your work." The younger lit up with excitement and began talking. It was about ten minutes later when there was a strong knock on the door.

"Who is it?" Taehyung asked again. He was very animated, just as Jinyoung remembered. 

"It's BamBam," the young stylist spoke o the other side, "open this door right now." Jinyoung once again grabbed Taehyung’s wrist to prevent him from going to answer the door. 

"Tae don't get it," Jinyoung replied, “they’re just trying to make us eat out there.” He repeated the sentiments he had spoken earlier.

"Hyung it might be time to go," Taehyung replied.

"You open this door right now!" BamBam demanded as he hit the door harder, Jinyoung flinched.

"He sounds mad hyung, and Bammie never gets mad," Taehyung replied. Jinyoung wanted to keep pushing it but he knew by the way Taehyung replied that he had lost. He wouldn’t be able to convince him again.

"Fine," Jinyoung replied, he just leaned back and picked up his book again. Taehyung got up and opened the door.

"Thank you Taehyung," BamBam said before he entered the room unfortunately followed by Jaebum. Jinyoung kept his eyes on his book and didn’t look at the elder. "What are you two doing?"

"Eating and catching up!" Taehyung was so excited about it as he said it. Jinyoung smirked for a second before carefully blanking out his facial expressions. He hoped they didn't catch it, but he knew Jaebum noticed everything. He probably already knew Jinyoung was purposely trying to avoid them.

"Taehyung take the plates to the dining room," BamBam said, "and stay there." The younger left and BamBam closed the door. Jinyoung kept his focus on the words on the page and he turned it as if he was reading.

"Is this normal behavior?" BamBam asked Jaebum and Jinyoung guessed Jaebum told BamBam something nonverbally because he didn't hear anything.

"Jinyoung," BamBam demanded his attention, Jinyoung gave it to the stylist. He wasn’t mad at BamBam so he didn’t mind talking to the other. He did not glance at Jaebum. "Why have you been ignoring us?"

More  
"I'm not ignoring you Bam," Jinyoung said to him, “I am just reading this book and we talked this morning." Then he turned back to his book. He had to hold back a smirk as he knew he was confusing the stylist completely but it was never about BamBam, it was always about Jaebum leaving.

"Is this about last night?" Jaebum asked him, Jinyoung didn't acknowledge him. He focused on his book.

"Well since you're not ignoring anyone," BamBam said to him, "You can come and eat with us in the dining room." 

"I wanted to catch up with Tae and this morning seemed like a good time to do it,” Jinyoung said while not looking up from his book. “I didn’t think that would be a bad thing.”

"Okay I get it and now it’s time to come to breakfast." Jinyoung knew BamBam was talking because Jaebum realized he was being ignored.

"I already ate what I wanted to," Jinyoung replied, “I just want to read.”

"Jinyoung you don't have a choice you either come to breakfast or..." BamBam started but was cut off by Jinyoung.

"There is no conceivable threat you can make that would matter," Jinyoung said calmly, "now please let me read."

Jinyoung didn't catch the elder moving towards him as he was ignoring Jaebum so thoroughly, his book was snatched from his hands and he looked up angrily. His eyes met Jaebum’s and Jaebum raised his eyebrows. Jinyoung glared at him and he refused to talk to the elder. Jinyoung slumped down and closed his eyes as if to take a nap.

"How the heck have you dealt with this!" BamBam declared exasperated. He could tell BamBam was beyond frustrated and had to once again keep himself from smiling. Whatever Jaebum was communicating with him the two of them left. Jinyoung huffed as he realized Jaebum had taken his book. He would have to think of a plan to get it back.

He got up carefully and quietly and shut his door and locked it. He then turned on the giant screen in the room and glanced at his clock to see he had around 45 minutes before he had to be out and ready for his speech. The speech he didn't want to do. They were so dreadful, he was feeling more and more uncomfortable with each one he had to do. He knew no one was buying the words he spoke, he could see that the president was right. 

There was so much that was clear on the faces of the people in the last 3 districts. Today he was worried about the next ones. He wasn't fully aware of his own schedule. If the day held district 6 or not. He didn’t want to go there. He knew he could ask, but he didn't want them to know how scared he was. 

It was bad enough that everyone had seen him in a panic the night before. He shuddered thinking about it. The way Tae had treated him during the morning was almost as if he was breakable. He hated everything about it. There was another knock at his door he ignored it just as before.

"Jinyoung," Jaebum was who was on the other side of the door, "if you're mad at me this needs to stop. You're acting very childish." Jinyoung turned up the screen’s volume, some music artist was on the video. The screens and content were strange to him since he’d grown up with none of it in his life.

"Jinyoung!" the elder spoke louder and knocked but Jinyoung didn't listen. He didn't want to listen. It wasn't right of Jaebum to just leave him like he did the night before. That stung but he wouldn't admit it. He wanted the other to apologize but Jaebum never apologized. He just waited until Jinyoung got over whatever it was he was angry at.

Jinyoung stayed in his room past Jaebum's point of patience. The elder left and he only exited when he knew it was time for him to go out to the district. He went to the main car and saw the team waiting for him. He accepted the cards from Hani and prepared for another horrible time trying to calm the people. Jinyoung was scared again, he had gotten through the day before but this day felt worse. 

He almost turned to Jaebum for assurance but he remembered he was mad at the other. He would get no assurances that day. He would stand up there completely on his own in the battle. His left fist tapped against his side slowly, measuredly as he looked over the cards. He was greeted by the district leaders and led out on stage where he stood still in a lineup while others made their speeches. Hani greeted the crowed and he worked to keep his breathing steady and even.

They were in district 8, he knew that. He was careful as they called him forward. Each breath measured as he looked at the cards and then up at the images of the fallen tributes. 

Steady.

Even.

His left hand continued slow careful taps, almost undetectable to anyone. He saw the picture of Yura, and remembered Sana saying Yura and her had worked together. Maybe Yura had helped to keep Sana alive as long as she was... If Sana hadn’t come…

Steady.

Even.

He looked down but this wasn't... 

He wasn't...

The people before him were silent, hundreds of eyes staring. He had to try, he had to speak.

"Greetings good citizens of Panem," he read the opening line of the card, "we are here to honor your fallen tributes. Jaejoong and Yura..." He paused his left hand tapping faster, "Your tributes fought with honor..." He took a deep breath.

He couldn't let it out. He could feel his chest tightening. He had to try. He had to do this. 

"Your tributes fought with honor..." He looked up at the people again. He lifted his left hand to his chest as he closed his eyes. He felt like his walls caved in... He dropped the cards and the people started murmuring. His hands shook as he looked out and realized he was having trouble containing his panic. He wanted to turn away, to turn back and find Jaebum's eyes. But he had to stare forward.

"Sss-Sorry," he said as he bent down to pick up the cards. 

“Don't use the cards!" someone shouted.

"Tell us what you really think!" 

Jinyoung grasped for the cards as he heard more shouts…

The crowd erupted into a roar of them. Panic seized Jinyoung as the people started shouting over each other. His breathing was out of control. He stumbled backwards and might have fallen... Peacekeepers went towards the crowd. He couldn't breathe as tears streamed down his face. Jaebum caught hold of him. 

"Breathe Jinyoung," Jaebum's voice was in his ear but he barely heard it, he was looking at what was happening in the crowd. It wasn't just his breathing. His whole body felt tight as he saw the scene before him.

"No, no no," Jinyoung heard his voice but he didn't recognized his own voice. Jaebum pulled him back out of the fray but he saw it. Peacekeepers were beating people. He was pulled away from it the doors in front of him closed as Jaebum sunk to the ground with him. Jaebum grabbed his face as his mind replayed the images he saw out there, over and over. People shouting. He shouldn't have dropped the cards... He failed this and now... It was all falling apart.

"Breathe Jinyoung!" Jaebum spoke strongly, Jinyoung shook his head, no no no. He couldn’t have failed. Jinyoung closed his eyes tightly, his whole body was screaming. Panic, he didn't know anything else he turned inward. His breathing sputtering. 

"JINYOUNG!" Jaebum shouted his name, "don't shut down, JINYOUNG!" He didn't want it, he’d tried really hard to get it together. He’d dropped the cards. He had caused the riot because he had dropped the cards. His focus was there, Jaebum was in front of him shouting. Jaebum's life was the one the president would take for this, Jinyoung had failed... He failed already and it was only district 8. He didn't want it.

“Jinyoung breathe,” Jaebum said again, pleading with him. Jinyoung shook his head, he couldn’t. He didn’t know how. “Jinyoung please.” He tightened his eyes more, his left hand tapped to help ground himself but it was already too late. He slumped forward as he lost consciousness.

—————

Jaebum was tired of the arguments as he sat next to Jinyoung on the train the young still passed out and not sleeping peacefully at all. The medic had checked him out and said his body was under a lot of stress but rest would help. They had left to go to district 7, leaving behind the riots and the insanity that had broken out. Jinyoung was on oxygen and the doctor had left them was some sort of psycho therapy meds Jaebum wasn’t comfortable with just giving to the younger. He had no idea what the meds had in them and he didn’t trust the Capitol’s doctors to have Jinyoung’s best interests in mind.

Since board the train it had just been arguments between him and Hani.

Hani had said they had a schedule to meet, Jinyoung was supposed to speak at district 7 and 6 that day and while she was willing to leave 6 for the next day and shift the schedule she was adamant that 7 had to happen within this day. Jinyoung obviously couldn’t do it.

Hani said she could schedule it later in the day but she couldn’t remove it. And that was only after Jaebum had argued with her that 6 definitely could not happen. He had tried to say they could be late to the capitol by a few days but then they would miss the banquet which was a huge part of the tour. Hani had chided Jaebum for not warning her that Jinyoung was about ready to have a mental breakdown are any moment. She hadn’t been up the night before, or she would have seen it before it happened on stage.

She wasn’t blind to what the victors dealt with, she knew how it could be. Jaebum was the one who had failed. He should have known better. He shouldn’t have pushed Jinyoung so far.

He had been confused that Jinyoung was acting so off that morning. He hadn’t intended to make Jinyoung angry when he’d left the night before . He knew that kid could hold a grudge forever he should have expected it. He just thought he could help the younger differently if he pushed him just a little to get through it on his own. He was upset with himself. Mostly because he wondered if he hadn’t kept his distance in the first 2 months if things would have ever gotten as bad as they did. 

Jinyoung had seemed to be getting better over the past few weeks. He hadn’t panicked or run to Jaebum that much at all. He had thought Jinyoung was ready for all this but the younger wasn’t even close to ready. He was afraid of everything because none of them knew how President Yang would take away the things Jinyoung loved. He had threatened a already fragile child, it was an absolute disaster.

If he wanted the districts pacified he might get them simply by saying their symbol of hope was a mental patient who couldn’t even hold the damn cue cards in his hands. The Capitol could spin this for their advantage if Jinyoung didn’t go to 7 and do a marvelous job it could all be over. Jaebum knew he shouldn’t be worried about the people or the uprising. If Jinyoung did go to 7 and failed again it could reverse the ground they’d gained. Jaebum was beginning to care for the rebellion less and less seeing how igniting it had taken everything Jinyoung had. Was it worth it if it destroyed the kid? It wasn’t.

He didn’t care if it cost his own life as long as Jinyoung was okay. Jinyoung wasn’t okay, he was never going to go back to the person he was. Not after everything that happened and it would continue to get worse the more pressure was placed on him. That pressure didn’t just come from Yang but from the way the people held him as a symbol. They’d shouted at him, searching for something from him.

“I’m sorry,” Jaebum said to him as he held Jinyoung’s hand, “you don’t deserve any of this.” He watched over him till Jinyoung woke up, his big eyes ignited in realization of what happened but at the same time clearly searching for Jaebum. He looked scared.

“Hey it’s okay,” Jaebum said he quickly grabbed him and pulled him into his arms, “you’re okay.”

“You’re here,” Jinyoung said to him as the younger reached up to touch the oxygen mask, clearly confused by it. Had he never been on one before?

“Yeah I’m here,” Jaebum replied. He ran a comforting hand through Jinyoung’s hair.

“They didn’t...” Jinyoung’s eyes sprung with tears, “take you away...” He was clearly confused.

“Why would they take me away?” Jaebum asked. Jinyoung looked more frightened.

“Because I failed,” Jinyoung said softly. Realization dawned on him, Jinyoung though that incident meant the President would immediately retaliate. He thought the president’s threat would fall into consequences quickly.

“Jinyoung,” he replied, “no one’s gonna take me away.”

“The President said..” Jinyoung was going to recite it again. He knew the President said he would die.

“I know what he said,” Jaebum cut him off, “he won’t do it over one district you still have more to go. You can still do this Jinyoung, it’s okay and I’m okay.”

“I failed though,” the younger was fixated.

“You didn’t cause that,” Jaebum declared. But suddenly everything made sense. Jinyoung really was getting better before but the new pressure of saving Jaebum weighed so heavy on him it was crushing him. The president had rigged the game before it began. Jaebum knew that their enemy knew Jinyoung was already vulnerable.

He knew Jinyoung hadn’t been reacting well. He wanted Jinyoung to fall to pieces on the tour, he wanted the pressure so high on the kid that all the people in the districts saw was someone weak. That was how the President believed he could take their hope away. Jaebum should have realized it earlier. The President didn’t just make threats, he waited for the right timing. He had planned this out so carefully that he waited till Jinyoung was finally coping well to spring this all on him. And they had played right into his hands.

Jaebum had let it happen. 

“Jinyoung listen to me right now,” Jaebum let go of Jinyoung and looked into his eyes, “I am not going anywhere. I am not in danger, the President lied to you because he wants you afraid.” Jaebum spun it all in his own way. He needed to take the fear away from the younger.

“But he said...” Jinyoung began again.

“It was all a lie,” Jaebum said, “see after what happened out there I am still here. I’m right here and I will always be here.” 

“But you left last night,” Jinyoung replied, “you just left…”

“Oh Jinyoung, I am so sorry,” he apologized, he had made an error. “I was just...” He couldn’t have explained it, he should have known better. “I won’t do that again. I promise.” You can count on me.

“Are they going to make me speak again?” Jinyoung asked now. Jaebum nodded.

“Just at 7 in four hours,” he explained.

“Good,” Jinyoung replied.

“Good?” Jaebum questioned. He hadn’t expected that response.

“I need a chance to redeem myself,” Jinyoung said with a determined expression. Jaebum smiled in response. Jinyoung was seemingly feeling better but he would watch him closely. If he saw any signs that Jinyoung was even close to panic he was pulling him out.

He wasn’t sure he wanted to even risk that happening again but he couldn’t stop Jinyoung from being forced out there by the Capitol. Hani had already maneuvered a lot to get them as much as they had. No District 6 for the day was a very good thing, 7 would be much easier. They wouldn’t have to worry about looking to Minho and Jungkook until the next day and he hoped BamBam’s plan with district 5 would work. They needed Jinyoung to hope again. They needed him to believe again. Jaebum would fight all his fears so that he could shine again.

—————

They were at District 7 quicker than Jinyoung had wanted, but there was nothing else they could do but go out there. Jinyoung was ready to go out there. He thought he was ready.

He took a deep breath as he got ready to stand on stage. BamBam and Taehyung had gone even simpler on his styling. They wanted him to look young, his age. He knew they intended to manipulate everything about the circumstances. He looked to Jaebum for his normal assurance, the elder nodded to him that he was right there.

The delegation walked out onto the stage. Jinyoung didn’t want to think about each breath but he couldn’t stop himself. It was too much of a habit at that point. The district leaders began the event. Jaebum stood next to him on this stage, Jinyoung had made sure that was in the plan. The elder easily caught that Jinyoung had slightly worked himself up and he grabbed his hand. It was his way of keeping Jinyoung grounded in the fray.

Hani took her turn and did her part, she had come up with a plan to make things easier for him. After her speech where she introduced him she arranged Jinyoung’s cue cards on the podium she had requested the district leaders bring out. There was no chance Jinyoung would drop them if he didn’t have to hold them. That would give him one less thing to stress over. Jinyoung’s turn was next. He let go of Jaebum’s hand and walked forward.

He would do this. He could do it.

Steady...

Even...

What happened flashed before him, but he wouldn’t happen again.

“Good citizens of district 7, my name is Park Jinyoung.” It began. “You may know me as the victor of the 74th annual hunger games.” He could hear Hani huff behind him, he knew he wasn’t reading off the cards but he needed to do this for himself. 

“Today in a tradition in that vein, a tradition to honor your sacrifice. We are here to honor your fallen tributes.” he didn’t think he just spoke from his heart, “I didn’t know Donghae or Nana, I never spoke to then in any of the settings we shared during preparation. But I know what it is like to leave your life behind and to be dressed up to die. It is a sacrifice we are told to make every year, this is what we are told preserves are peace.” He wouldn’t declare it as fact, he didn’t believe it. He felt bolder. He took a deep breath.

“Donghae and Nana,” he said, “had families like mine. Perhaps a bit broken... I think in a way, I represent them to you. No one comes out of the games, and what you witnessed in district 8 is the truth that I am very much broken.” He had to make his point. “Every family whose kids a reaped knows there is no coming back. Even if you win you can’t return to life as it was before. I am not the same person I was, not even close.”

“Standing here is a heavy burden,” he continued, “especially since I am no hero. I don’t deserve that honor. People have made my act in the games an act of sacrifice when it was really an act of cowardice. I didn’t want to fight anymore, I sought to die. I wanted out. Many others are like me, our future has been set for us because of our past. We have no chance beyond the roll we were placed into. I may have volunteered for it but I never desired this stage or the love of this nation.” He paused as tears came into his eyes.

“Don’t seek war,” he said, “Don’t run to it. Your youth don’t deserve that.” He did his part to say what he knew the president would want, he let them know how he felt. He was there to play Yang’s game. “Do not be troubled for me or for any of them. Your sacrificed means much more than that.” He wanted to say something else... but he played their game, he would keep playing their game. That was his reality, his past and his future.

“We are united as one,” he declared, “a system that lives or dies together, Panem will continue on. Let’s all work together towards our future hand in hand with our neighbors. Thank you district 7.” He ended it and waved to the ground. He walked back to his place as the final things were said. He was tense, he was on edge but he had gotten through. His hand tapped relentlessly. He wanted off the stage because he was sure much longer would lead to panic. He could hardly believe he had made it through.

—————

“Did he just...” Jaebum hadn’t been as shocked as BamBam. Jinyoung had not only made it through a speech without a single stutter, it had been spontaneous. After the morning they had, it was nothing short of miraculous but at the same time so dangerous because if he was speaking without cards there was no telling what he could say.

Jaebum didn’t chide Jinyoung about it, the day was a victory. Jinyoung’s words were not openly rebellious and the people were confused enough to stand down entirely. But with his eyes, the way he spoke and beneath the platitudes the defiance was there. It was a call to action. He knew it wouldn’t be seen so immediately but if Jinyoung continued this tour with that boldness he would continue to be their symbol. It wasn’t without a toll. Jinyoung had been so tense right after, Jaebum took him to his room and sat with him while he processed.

Jinyoung didn’t speak, he was clearly trying to stave off another panic attack. He was hyper aware of how every word could be perceived and they played in his mind. Jaebum knew. He was a solid comforting presence in the midst of it. He was the only one who saw it all. Jinyoung’s breathing was rhythmic, almost in beats that aligned to his hand’s beat. Jaebum wished Jinyoung wasn’t hurting after the victory he’d had, but he knew there was no way any of this would go easy. It would be a long battle, probably one that would last through most of his life.

Jaebum wondered of any of it existed before the games. He wondered what Jinyoung’s life was like before the games. He had been brash, so firey about what he wanted. Was there any part of him that was broken back then? Did he ever struggle with anxiety before? Jaebum wondered about it.

Jinyoung’s tapping stopped. Jaebum turned to him and saw the younger was thinking hard.

“You were brave out there,” Jaebum said softly, “you did it.”

“Tomorrow will be worse,” Jinyoung finally spoke, “I don’t want tomorrow.” So that’s what weighed in him. Minho and Jungkook. He had hoped the younger could focus on the currently, and not think about what tomorrow had.

“It was scary,” Jinyoung said, “standing up there again.” He paused and Jaebum waited for him to continue what he wanted to say. “You said the threat was to scare me, I just really hope you’re right...” 

I don’t want to lose you. 

It was unspoken, but there in the air between them. Jinyoung put his arms around Jaebum and leaned to him like he aways did. Jaebum put his arms around Jinyoung as well, as he worried. Jinyoung had grown so dependent on him, if anything did happen how would Jinyoung handle it. Jaebum had to detach the young from him somehow.

He just didn’t know how.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this chapter, I'm trying to get them out on a schedule but it's not easy.
> 
> Thanks for all your comments, I look forward to them each chapter.


	5. Hope Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The tour continues and Jinyoung must face the districts of fallen tributes Minho and Jungkook.

The next morning came too quickly, Jinyoung didn't want to wake up. He didn't want to face the day. He wanted to stay in bed with Jaebum's arms secure around him, the only safe harbor. How he had hated the elder's strong grip at first, it was impossible to break. He didn’t hate it anymore. It was the only place where he felt like all his fears wouldn't find him. Like they couldn't know he was here. Like Jaebum was a shield that kept them out. He needed Jaebum. The way the elder knew what it was like, how he had never judged the things that happened.

He reached up from where he laid, he touched the elders face. He was looking at the person who he could have never guessed would save him. His eyes were closed and he slept peacefully. Jinyoung looked at the edges of his face and traced them lightly. He reached to touch the twin moles above his eye, he wondered how something so small could define the other so much.

"Jaebum," Jinyoung said his name softly, "wake up." Jinyoung asked for this, he normally wasn't the one to awaken the other. He wanted to see Jaebum’s eyes as they opened because he never got to. The elder stirred and his eyes met Jinyoung's. He looked confused about being woken up and his eyes filled with concern.

"Are you okay?" Jaebum asked first assessing the younger’s current state. Jinyoung knew he would do that. He always looked for every way that he could take care of him. 

"It's just impossible for me to get up with you holding on to me,” Jinyoung teased. It wasn’t why he’d woken him up but he always loved the way Jaebum responded when teased. He loved the way Jaebum indulged his moods and seemed to have such unlimited patience for him.

"Okay," Jaebum responded as he drifted back towards sleep and his grip around Jinyoung only tightened. 

"Hey!" Jinyoung ponded his fist lightly on the elders chest, "let me go!" He was playing a game and he wanted to get a rise out of Jaebum because he knew it would be funny.

"Why should it?" Jaebum replied he shifted to wrap a leg around Jinyoung’s legs and trap him more.

“Asshole," Jinyoung muttered the old nickname with a whine, "I wanna get up!"

"No can do petty boy," Jaebum countered with his own nickname for Jinyoung, "my arms feel kinda stiff and stuck..." Jinyoung pushed back against them trying to get out, he knew it was futile.

“Did you just call me petty?" He asked as he realized what Jaebum had just done. 

"Yes," Jaebum replied with a smirk, "it was intentional."

"You're such an ass,” Jaebum’s lips turned up more, his eyes closed again. "Jaebum!" Jinyoung pounded on his chest more. 

"Go back to sleep," Jaebum responded. Jinyoung was determined to win.

"No," Jinyoung replied, "I want to get up now, you're not going back to sleep until you let me go!" Jaebum didn't let go, but Jinyoung smirked, he could come up with another way to get what he wanted. He lowered his eyes and his face, his expression downcast as he began his act. Measured steady breaths moving into faster ones. He imitated the beginnings of his panic attacks.

"Jinyoung I know you're faking it," Jaebum said.

"What the hell?" Jinyoung asked. How could he know?

"You can't fake a panic attack," Jaebum replied, "there are little things you do before that you're unaware of." Jinyoung glared.

"What are they?" he demanded to know, he needed to use this later. It wasn't like he was lucid enough at those times to record exactly what he did.

“Nope, we’re not talking about this,” Jaebum said, “it could actually be a very negative subject.” Jinyoung was more frustrated now he would have to think of a better way out. Maybe he didn’t need to fake a panic attack, since his hand had started tapping on it’s own. Maybe that was the secret thing he did before.

“Jaebum if you don’t let go you’re going to regret it,” Jinyoung threatened him.

“Empty words,” Jaebum commented. 

“I know all your secrets,” Jinyoung poked at him with his fingers, he didn’t even move in response.

“Hardly,” Jaebum responded.

“I can bribe Taehyung,” Jinyoung thought of another idea, “then he’ll give you excessive amounts of beauty treatments and dye your hair bright red like his.”

“Taehyung’s scared of me,” Jaebum said, “I’m not worried.”

“No he’s not!” Jinyoung declared, “he actually really admires you. He told me yesterday he would do your hair bright red and it would look amazing. Plus Taehyung genuinely listens to the things I ask for!” Jinyoung could see that threat was working, Jaebum was thinking it over...

“Fine,” Jaebum let go and Jinyoung rolled over to the other side of the bed and settled in with a smirk at getting his way. He heard the other huff in annoyance.

“Aren’t you getting up?” Jaebum asked him, his tone biting.

“I don’t want to yet,” Jinyoung responded, he smirked as well.

"Petty boy," Jaebum grumbled. He rolled over and huffed again, clearly upset at Jinyoung. Jinyoung didn't care, he won their little skirmish. He could get Jaebum to do anything with enough time. Im Jaebum could vanquish armies and still lose to Park Jinyoung.

Jinyoung got up a few minutes later as Jaebum dozed off and left his room to find Taehyung. He actually thought dying his own hair might be a good change after the up and down days they’d had. He didn’t want anything drastic. He just wanted to know what he would look like if his hair was a bit lighter. Jinyoung bounded down the hall shouting for Taehyung, he needed to get it done while his mind was made up. He found Taehyung in his room. The younger lit up at the idea of doing Jinyoung's hair and already knew what would work on him. That was how it began.

"I am so excited!" Taehyung kept saying as he worked different products through Jinyoung's hair. He didn't do it in front of a mirror which made Jinyoung nervous because he wasn't allowed to see any of what was going on with his own hair. The stuff smelled awful...

"Okay, okay," Jinyoung was on edge over not being able to see, "can you at least give me a hint as to what you are doing?" He was beginning to regret his decision to trust the younger. He hadn’t worried enough about ending up with some outlandish hair color. With his luck he would end up at the next stop with hair the color of grass.

“I’m doing something natural," Taehyung said, "you definitely should stay within the styling parameters BamBam has already set for you so I am working within those. You are to be natural but perfect.” Those were the words Taehyung had been using all morning. Jinyoung was kinda scared as to what that could mean.

For all he knew Taehyung could be making him blonde, a thought he hadn't considered before but it definitely wasn't something he wanted to explore. It felt like it took ages, but soon enough Taehyung was trimming his hair again then drying it. Jinyoung was getting so nervous he was worried he was going to panic if he didn’t like it.

Taehyung then stood him up and dragged him in front of a mirror. He was shocked at what he saw. His hair was a soft dark brown and the cut Taehyung had done framed his face. He looked his age, younger than with the darker hair that he naturally had. It was a surprising change but exactly what he needed.

"Taehyung, you're a genius!" he said the words BamBam already said then held up a hand to high five the younger. Taehyung was grinning ear to ear. The two of them walked to the dining room together, Jinyoung was feeling lighter over the change. Change could be definitely be a good thing. When they got to breakfast, BamBam was the first one to notice.

"What did you do!" he was in shock as he saw Jinyoung's new hair color. 

"What?" Jaebum asked.

"His hair," Hani pointed it out, Jaebum was surprised the elder was so oblivious.

"Wait, what?" Jaebum was also in shock. Jinyoung's hair was no longer black.

"I just wanted a change," Jinyoung said as he sat down, "and Taehyung did a great job." Taehyung was still grinning, definitely pleased with what he had done.

"It looks good," BamBam observed, "but still, this changes a lot. I'm going to need to rethink today's outfit now!” His words were said so dramatically

"It makes him look younger," Jaebum stated what Jinyoung had thought when he saw it, "this could be really good for today's press. Get them distracted with the hair and they’ll talk of nothing else.” Typical Jaebum was already strategizing their next move around his change.

"I am glad I did it," Jinyoung said.

"I was so excited to do it," Taehyung declared.

"It's ironic he was threatening to have Taehyung dye my hair this morning," Jaebum said, "only to run and get his own hair done a few minutes later. I should have known things were to quiet on this train." Taehyung picked out part of those words.

"Can I dye your hair hyung?" Taehyung looked so excited by the idea and Jaebum looked so shocked. Jinyoung smirked imagining the color bright red was flashing through Jaebum's mind at that moment.

"NO!" Jaebum pretty much shouted, "don't even think about it! It is NEVER going to happen!" Jinyoung laughed out loud, he knew the elders reaction was 90% due to his threat earlier in the day. Taehyung looked taken aback by the two victors interaction.

"Jinyoung," Jaebum said his name with an exasperated voice. He knew the younger had played him with that threat.

—————

The lightness of the morning quickly became heavy as Jinyoung knew what approached. BamBam had picked clothes for him and soon he was ready to go. They would be lining up shortly to face District 6, the first of Jinyoung's two biggest challenges. He wanted to hide from it.

He walked around the main car of the train, hands working. His body was tense. He knew what was coming, he knew what it felt like to be close to a panic attack. He was worried the day ahead of him would be worse than the day before. He might breakdown just from seeing Minho's picture out there. He was breaking apart before it all began just thinking about it. A hand grabbed his, stopping his rhythm. He turned and looked at Jaebum, the elder's eyes were full of compassion.

"You're ready for this," Jaebum said, "you can do this." Jaebum’s words echoed in his ears and Jinyoung nodded. The time was short, soon the time was none and he was out on that stage looking at the crowd.

"Greetings citizens of Panem," he began by looking at the cards in front of him. His heart was beating hard in his chest as he tried not to look at the pictures of the tributes. Minho's face was larger than life. "We are here to honor your fallen tributes, Minho and Seohyun. They fought with honor and their sacrifice was one that will be long remembered for the peace of Panem..." He paused, he felt so fake with the words in front of him. His hand tapped his side, his body tense. He couldn't do it.

"Excuse me," he stepped back for a moment. He took a deep breath and looked towards Minho's family. He had no siblings, and his parents were both there. The picture above them was of Minho smiling like he always had in training. He had an overconfidence to him, as he declared to Jinyoung that he wouldn't change... He didn’t want the games to change him. His eyes glanced at the older man who stood with an arm around his wife.

"I knew Song Minho better than most of the other tributes," Jinyoung said as he stepped up the the mic again, "He taught he to use a sword and in training told me this 'I don’t want these games to change me.'" Jinyoung breathed out. Tears in his eyes as he remembered the boy. "He didn't realize then how much we would all change. Most people in the districts saw Minho as a traitor, I know that. But I saw him as someone who was very much striving for what we all have fought for. He was just a boy trying to survive."

"He deserves this honor," Jinyoung said, "in the end he could have killed me..." The images flashed through his mind, he tried not to choke on his own words, "He could have taken the win for himself, but he gave it away. I still don't fully understand why..." His throat was dry. He was at risk in this position in the open, he knew that. If he thought of the boy Minho had killed he would lose his nerve. He knew that.

"The sacrifices victors make..." he pulled himself back on track, "they secure our future..." He decided that was it, that was all he could say. "I'm sorry..." 

He walked away from the podium, tears stinging his eyes as he went to stand next to Jaebum, He couldn't do it... He realized he just couldn't finish it. He realized now the number of peacekeepers here was much more than in the other districts, the things here were much worse. It was on everyone's faces. The pain was on all of their faces...

It was then that someone in the crowd whistled, two alternating notes a rise & fall. 

Jungkook's whistle...

Jinyoung's heart stopped. he remembered the boy when he had smiled and whistled it to the Ahgases. He remembered when he had whistled for Jungkook before stepping into that final battle. District 6 stood with 5. He couldn't stop it...

Peacekeepers rushed into the crowd but Jinyoung didn't see anything as the sounds broke out. Jaebum pulled him inside so fast and covered his eyes. He was shaking from the second failure of the tour. He couldn't handle this. Tears flowed down quickly and he stepped away...

He stepped away from Jaebum and looked up towards the television screen. It had been broadcasting the tour his district and to the capitol. The screen has changed, his face was on screen. His face in real time, the tears streaming down his face. He stared at his own reflection...

He wiped the tears from his eyes and let himself numb down.

He walked away. 

He shut inside.

—————

Jinyoung slept the whole trip between 6 and 5, from the moment he had got on the train to the moment they had to line up for 5. Jaebum was very worried because Jinyoung wasn’t displaying usual tics and signs he just looked numb. His eyes looked dead and Jaebum wondered if this was a new way for him to cope. He had shut down before but never looked the way he did in that moment. It was scary for all of them to see him so out if it. 

They all met up to go out, Jaebum held onto Jinyoung’s hand as they all got ready to walk onto the stage. Jaebum worried about what was going to happen if Jinyoung didn’t try. Things in district 5 were the most volatile. The riots would be very bad if district 5 lashed out, Jinyoung didn’t need to see that. He needed to stop thinking a riot meant he failed. He needed to stop thinking he wasn’t allowed to speak what he was feeling because when he did his words made a bigger impact.

He didn’t need to keep worrying about the Jaebum either. Jaebum had thought that was getting better but he realized the night before Jinyoung was hiding it, his worry still existed. In truth Jaebum knew the likely hood of the capitol making good on those threats was high.

“You’re doing great Jinyoung,” Jaebum said, “don’t worry, it’s all going to work out.” He did believe that despite his own fears. They walked out, the younger was shaking but he saw Jinyoung gasp as he saw the tributes photos, and on the stand for Jungkook’s family...

Yoongi, Namjoon and Jin were visible from where they stood with a crop of children around them. Probably about 30 kids were on the stand, along with two more elderly people... Jaebum glanced to see Jinyoung’s eyes well with tears as his mask broke open at the sight.

The thing Jinyoung had probably expected when he prepared to come is Jungkook’s platform being empty. The child was an orphan, one with no blood family but the truth was he had a whole family. Jinyoung could easily connect those kids as the orphans Jungkook had been with. The orphans were now sheltered by the people who loved Jungkook. Jinyoung had his hand over his mouth as he tried to contain himself.

Jaebum remembered everything, and he knew out of all of them Jungkook had believed in Jinyoung the most. That kid could give him back the strength he needed. Hani didn’t even bring cards and as Jinyoung took the stand Jaebum could see he was shaking but his hand wasn’t tapping. His eyes were full of so much emotion as he stood to address not the crowd but a family of someone he had loved.

“Greetings district 5,” Jinyoung said. He looked different, something in his eyes was there. Something he hadn’t had in so long.

Determination.

“My name is Park Jinyoung,” he spoke with a different authority, “You know me as the winner of the 74th annual Hunger Games, no doubt you all saw me in the games. Today we come to honor your fallen tributes Jungkook...” he stuttered but he didn’t give in, “and Soyhe.” He was looking at the children, at the ones who deserved a chance.

“I didn’t really know Soyhe,” he continued, “I am sure though that she was very brave to face each danger.” He paused as he looked back towards the crowd. “I knew Jungkook, you all know that I knew him very well.” Jinyoung looked a bit more unsure but the same determination he held was ever present. Jaebum was in awe of it.

“I first met Jungkook in training, he warned me about other tributes. I noticed then he had a knack for climbing,” Jinyoung smiled as tears filled his eyes, as he remembered, “he used to climb through the rafters of the training room & he dropped down one time so I could teach him a bit of archery.” Jinyoung’s smile through his tears was genuine. “I was very fond of him as he reminded me of my younger brother, when the games began I hoped he was okay. When he showed up in that cave I was relieved.” He stopped for a second to control his crying, to breathe.

“The light he brought was within him.” Jinyoumg bit his lip. “I really believed I could get him out, he was precious to me...” Jinyoung pushed on with all the emotion rushing him. “He saved my life four times, I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for him. He hoped enough for all of us.”

“What happened to him... it was wrong. It was all wrong. He didn’t belong in that arena.” Jinyoung said it and Jaebum smirked, he wanted Jinyoung to give them hell for what had happened. Someone needed to call out the Capitol. Someone needed to say it. “Just like he didn’t belong in the generators, The odds were stacked against him,” Jinyoung was everything when he was bold like this. “The odds weren’t in his favor. He was smaller than everyone else, skilled but frightened.” Jinyoung stepped back for a moment before continuing.

“He knew that more than I did. He spent the arena preparing to die when I was believing I could get him out,” Jinyoung sounded angry in these words. “The truth was, he was the bravest of us all. I was the one who was afraid. I am still so afraid. But we don’t have to live in fear, death will come for us all. Not all of us know when, not all of us can be prepared. But we shouldn’t be afraid...” Jinyoung was magnetic and Jaebum knew the Capitol had probably cut the feed because this was true defiance.

“Jungkook told me because of me he wasn’t afraid,” Jinyoung said, “but I haven’t lived up to that legacy. I was a coward, I’ve been an absolute mess but I am dedicated to learning to be brave like he was...” Jaebum saw peacekeepers shifting, he wondered if they were nervous because what Jinyoung was doing was more than they could stop. “Thank you people of district 5, from what I have seen you exude strength, a strength not many have when things go wrong. You stand together with panem, together we survive. Divided we will surely fall. Panem together will live on.” He knew it well.

Jinyoung knew how to end the speech with words that affirmed the capitol’s message while still bringing hope and Jaebum saw the kid who had built a memorial for a fallen tribute, who had laid down his arms rather than becoming their monster. He was in everything their hope.

“Citizens of Panem,” Jinyoung said, “together we are strong.” And Jaebum’s jaw dropped as other words were veiled Jinyoung finally called for action. Jinyoung stared into the face of death. The people clapped but all of them knew it was better to not revolt to stand down for now. They had hope in that moment for a better day, for a right time. Jinyoung gave them that hope.

Jinyoung stepped back and Jaebum saw glimpses of everything he was. Things were still broken, some things that could never be repaired but Jinyoung was strong enough. He just needed to realize it. He could turn the tide by a single sentence. He could bring the nation to its knees by the strength of his will.

—————

Jinyoung had requested to be alone. He had wanted some peace, to be on his own for just awhile. He was in his room holding a package Yoongi had sent to him through BamBam. He hadn't opened it, he hadn't looked to see what it was. He’d believed he didn't deserve anything.

He had believed himself to be broken beyond repair... He had thought the fight inside his heart was gone. Truly he had been ravaged by loss, buried in his own thick fear that had come to choke the life from hi. Everything had fed that, everything he had done was to shroud himself in all of it and to let it win in his mind. He couldn’t continue to go on that way. He had to be stronger than the past specters that lurked in the corners of his life. He had to banish them from his mind.

He knew what the package contained. It wasn't a mystery to him. He knew what the people believed about him. He knew every repercussion of his actions during the games. It had been defiance, that was the truth. He wasn't honest with himself for a long time, that that last battle had been cowardice.

Because if it had been everything would have been easier. Playing it off that way would erase the truth that he was in open rebellion to the most powerful man in their world. He had been too afraid to admit it all to himself. 

He’d sought death because he defied them. 

He'd rather die that be one of them. 

He'd rather die that succumb to their manipulation.

He had lost that part of himself, he had left that part of his being behind to wallow in his self pity. For the losses he couldn't bear locked him in a prison of pain, but they weren't just his losses. That was what he had ignored. He wasn't the only one who was broken, he wasn’t the only one who was lost. He still had fear, it wasn’t so easy to banish it, but he knew what it was and he wouldn't let it control him anymore. This wasn't the end of the darkness, the panic, of the things he couldn't fully control but he knew he was stronger.

He opened the box and lifted the note that covered what was inside. He saw it was Jungkook's light. What Yoongi had given him was not small, this was much bigger than anything anyone had ever handed to him. He knew it was a heavy burden to wear it.

He looked at the note. The note was simple, few words. Nothing earth shattering to anyone but him.

"You are the fire."

The words Sana had said to him, the words she had used to change his path in a single moment. When she had called him a fire she hadn't known how far that would go. Yoongi gave him two reminders. The pieces of the people who had sacrificed themselves so he could live. And he realized he had dishonored their sacrifice and their memory in shutting himself down.

Tear streamed down his face again as he curled in on himself. It was different.

He was okay with being alone this time, for the first time in a long time he was okay with crying alone. With feeling everything he had tried so hard not to feel. He was okay to be tapping his fist relentlessly as he let it all exist in the open. He would let it exist so he could burn it away.

It wasn't over for today. They would speak in 4 then day that followed he would go 3, 2, and 1. He would play their game. He would read Hani's cards. He would ready them with everything within his eyes. 

He would stand there as the Capitol's lapdog but defy them all the same because the game they were playing was a long one. And it was a game he was determined to win.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to all who are reading and enjoy. Please leave a comment to let me know what you think. Next chapter is called "The Long Game." We're going to see Jinyoung in the Capitol again, and what happens when Jinyoung has too much alcohol. :D


	6. The Long Game

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tour comes to it's end and Jinyoung faces new challenges as his win is celebrated in the Capitol

Something had changed. Jaebum knew that when Jinyoung had basically reinvigorated a fledgling rebellion. He didn't know Jinyoung would take the game further. Before 4 Jinyoung had requested Hani give him cards again and he had read them with conviction and again in 3 and 2.

They were at 1 and Jinyoung once again read the cards with a powerful voice calling for the districts to unite with the Capitol. Of course district 1 ate it up, district 1 was basically the most allied with the Capitol but Jaebum knew what this was to Jinyoung. If Jinyoung could sway the love of even the most loyal districts to himself he would have power over them. Jinyoung was uniting Panem around himself and gaining the favor of the whole nation. Jinyoung would have the love of the Capitol and every single district before he returned to district 12. 

The districts didn't see the other speeches he made, only their own. President Yang wouldn't let the Capitol see Jinyoung's defiance, as it would play against him. Jaebum knew that the Capitol saw him in the last 4 districts throwing himself before the President in full support of the system as it was. Jinyoung was a brilliant actor. And as Jinyoung stepped off the stage District one was shouting his name. 

Jaebum knew the night was not over completely. Jinyoung had still woken up panicked, Jinyoung still leaned on him in the quieter moments but Jinyoung was learning. Jinyoung was growing past the fear. It had been a day but that day had been momentous. Each moment sang the truth, Jinyoung could do anything he set his mind to. He could be anything they needed him to be. Jaebum's faith in him had not been misplaced. And as the train shot towards the Capitol the people shouted his name.

It was as Bam said when he dressed Jinyoung for the first time, he’d is said pressure turns coal to diamonds. Pressure hurt, the pain of being pressed against every expectation was painful on Jinyoung but he was emerging. He would be everything and Jaebum knew that there would be consequences.

They sat in the back of the train watching the scenery go by, they could see as they came around the turn that the Capitol was ahead. Jinyoung leaned his head against Jaebum and closed his eyes. Jaebum could feel Jinyoung’s fist tapping gently against his side. Jaebum wasn’t sure what came over him, he generally held back from doing much more than holding onto the younger. He leaned down and kissed the top of his head gently. Jinyoung didn’t respond in any way but Jaebum didn’t need any sort of response, he’d just really wanted to do that.

"Are you ready?" Jaebum asked Jinyoung as the train slowed and they could hear the shouts echoing through the city. Their arrival was anticipated, by the entire Capitol. The screams were loud.

“There’s no way to really be ready,” Jinyoung responded as he pulled back from Jaebum and looked into his eyes. He was searching for some sort of reassurance, Jaebum knew that. He’d indulged him long enough to know what he was asking for and what he needed.

“I’ll be right there with you,” Jaebum said, “I promise.” Jaebum stood up and held a hand out for Jinyoung. The younger took it and they walked together hand in hand through the train. It moved slowly, they’d nearly arrived. They could see out the windows where the crowds were cheering, the roar was nearly deafening. Every step in the Capitol would be dangerous but they could hold on to each other against that danger.

The train stopped, as they made it to the car they would exit from. Taehyung, BamBam and Hani were all there waiting for them. Jinyoung was ushered forward and Jaebum held tight to his hand to go with him. He would have to let Jinyoung leave first, they would have to let go so he could. Jaebum was reluctant, his eyes met Jinyoung’s as they both let go.

The doors opened and Jinyoung stepped out, Jaebum walked behind him and the rest of the team exited after them. The crowds were screaming for Jinyoung, screaming and chanting his name. People were held back by large barriers but they were throwing roses to the ground around them. He could see Jinyoung take a deep breath as he lifted his hand to wave to them.

"Of course my victor you get everything you could ever want," Hani declared as they approached the transport. Jaebum smiled and rolled his eyes at her. Jinyoung got into their transportation and Jaebum climbed in beside him. Jinyoung instantly leaned his head against Jaebum’s shoulders.

“You did good Jinyoung-ah,” Jaebum said softly, and Jinyoung just nodded. It had all just begun. That evening Jinyoung would be interviewed for the public and the day following he would see the President again at the banquet celebrating the games. There was much more to come but Jaebum was confident that Jinyoung was ready for it.

—————

He found himself back in a familiar penthouse. He hadn’t missed it at all with it’s overly gaudy decorations and the feelings he’d had while being there. He didn’t have many good associations with anything about the Capitol. Most of his time there had been spent fearing he wouldn’t make it home. One point he didn’t exactly hate was remembering how odd and all over the map Jaebum had acted. The elder had treated him terribly then tried to get close to him. It was an odd back and forth that he was glad had ended.

They’d settled in as whatever they were. Jinyoung wasn’t even sure what it was. Jaebum had been his mentor before the games and still treated him a bit like a mentor would but there was so much more to them. He wasn’t even sure friends could be applied to them, it felt too small. He relied on Jaebum, needed Jaebum. He couldn’t explain it.

The four of them settled into the place, Jinyoung felt odd about the empty rooms where Sana and her team had lived. He looked to them and would have spiraled but Jaebum turned him away. Turned his attention towards his old room. It was his last chance to really rest. Jaebum laid down with him and held him close as he slept.

They were woken up by Taehyung who was whining about how his styling was important and how if he didn’t get ready right at that moment that everything would go wrong. Jaebum sat him up and left him with Taehyung when he was still half asleep. Taehyung did good work and Jinyoung felt awake by the time he was back in BamBam’s large closet and being dressed in a nice suit. 

It was his first time being interviewed since after the games, he’d always assumed it would be difficult but he hadn’t been worried for it. When they finished they were taken to the venue and Jaebum decided right there with the interview just in front of them that it was time to coach him on what to expect. Jaebum said he had to talk him through everything that could possibly happen. He’d explained to Jinyoung that the president could use the interview to try and shift public favor against him. Such tactics had apparently been used before and Jinyoung’s heart sank.

Jaebum explained to him the many things he could be asked about. Nothing was off limits in the interview, and Jinyoung was nervous. He’d expected it to be simple like the interviews before and after the games, not some sort of interrogation meant to flesh out his loyalties in front of the public. Or worse a stunt to make him look weak.

"You have to be ready for anything," Jaebum had said that sentence at least 20 times. "And what do I mean when I say anything?" Jinyoung went over the things Jaebum had told him.

"Questions about life in 12," Jinyoung said , "Tour questions... But nothing is off limits," Jinyoung repeated Jaebum's words, "the interview could be a set up, they may ask about my friends in the arena, they will try to get me to say something treasonous. I must not fall into those traps. Only stick to info on winning and how my life has changed for the better thanks to the generosity of the capitol…” Saying that phrase on live television was going to kill him, he just knew it.

"Good," Jaebum said with a nod, "and if you feel like you're going to panic?" Jinyoung sighed this was the most confusing instruction Jaebum had given him. Telling him basically to handle a situation he knew he couldn’t control.

"Don't," Jinyoung said, "there is nothing to panic over, they won't expose me too openly in the interview. It will just be meant to try and make me nervous.” Jaebum nodded, in response. Jinyoung was confused by a lot of it. He didn’t understand why the Capitol would want him nervous when they could very well try to pus him into a panic. He wasn’t sure he could hold it back if it came down to it.

He could hear the nosies of the venue they were in, there was a large crowd there. He’d seen them when their transport had passed towards the back. No one was allowed to see him until he stepped on stage. Jinyoung waited, they would call him on to greet the Capitol soon. He wanted them eating out of his hand. He wanted them loving him, he didn’t want to make any big mistakes before the banquet. If he did he was sure Yang would be there to make things even worse for him. He didn’t need that. Doing well on the interview was part of his plan to win the people over. Even if if it seemed like they were already on his side he knew he could do more. That was how he would be able to protect himself and his family.

"You can do this," Jaebum had said as his final words to the younger. Jinyoung nodded as he heard his name called.

"Please welcome to the stage the winner of the 74th annual hunger games, fresh off tour Park Jinyoung!" The crowds were screaming as Jinyoung stepped out on stage, a smile on his face. He waved to the crowd like he always did and he shook the interviewers hand. It was a bit of a blur as he took his seat.

"Welcome back to the Capitol Jinyoung," the interview said, "how have you been since the last time we saw you?" The first question was an easy one for him to handle, he kept his smile on his face. He had to sell the act of being just fine.

"I've been doing well the past few months,” Jinyoung responded, "the Capitol's generosity is truly tremendous. Everything has been great.” He spoke of his winnings, because when upon winning the games the victor was given more than a lifetimes worth of food and wealth. He and his family would never want for anything during his lifetime.

"And you changed your hair since the last time we saw you!" the interviewer declared. Jinyoung was thankful that he had done it. Jaebum had been right that it was a good distraction amidst the shit show the beginning of the tour was.

“I really felt like a change would be fun and my stylist Kim Taehyung really did a great job,” Jinyoung commented. He wanted to say Taehyung’s name to help him in his career. The people in the Capitol were chasing after BamBam’s designs but they should be following Taehyung’s advice for makeup and hair as well. They all looked horrible and Taehyung looked nice.

"It looks good, doesn't he look good?" The interviewer played for the crowd interaction and they roared. Jinyoung smiled to them. The interviewer turned back to him as the roars died down. "Now tell me, we heard a few rumors that you had some ups and downs on tours, how are you now?" 

"I had a bout of sickness," Jinyoung said. Jaebum had told him the official story was that he was ill, "I was a bit under the weather the second day.”

“Oh I’m sorry to hear that,” the interviewer said with sympathy Jinyoung didn’t trust, “what happened?”

“It’s been really cold in my district,” Jinyoung said, “I just got a slight fever and it made me kind of dizzy. It broke with rest so everything is fine, but it wasn’t easy to get through.” He could play the sickness tale for sympathy.

“How cold does it get in district 12?” the interviewer asked, “we heard it snows there. The only snow we see is the snow we import for our activity parks.” Jinyoung wasn’t surprised that they imported something like snow. Everything about the Capitol was overdone and insane.

“Yeah it does snow there,” Jinyoung said, “it get’s really really cold.”

“That must have given you an advantage in the games,” the man said, “you were in snow, and it was something you grew up with.” Jinyoung shrugged.

“It’s not really an advantage,” Jinyoung responded, “it snows in most of the districts as I saw going on tour.” Things had been easy up to then, JInyoung wondered if there were going to be any heavier hitting questions after all. 

"Now speaking of your tour we watched some of your speeches,” the man said, "including your speech at district 7 & 8\. We know about you being sick, so tell me… In 7 you spoke clearly but you said something very interesting when you were speaking there. You told the people that in the end of the games you wanted to die and that was what had driven you to put down your sword. That was something you hadn't fully touched on before... None of us were really sure what happened in the end.” Jinyoung took a deep breath, the crowd was quiet.

"It was difficult," Jinyoung began, "facing a final opponent after what had happened.. It was difficult for me realizing how quickly it had come down to me and one other person," Jinyoung realized his hand was tapping, his body was sharp with every feeling. "I had just lost my friend and I was really emotional. So yes I did feel at the time that I didn't want to win, that death was the better alternative.” He breathed carefully. “It was hard loosing Jungkook and Sana, so I was reacting to how I really felt in that moment.”

"And do you feel like that now?" he asked, that was the trap. If Jinyoung said he still felt that way he would be attacked by the people for not being grateful. He would have to lie because he knew that he really did still feel that way in many ways. 

"No I don’t,” Jinyoung responded, it that was hard to speak those words but he had to. "I am glad I got to go home, to see my brother again. And I glad to be here with all of you. I am grateful to the generosity of the Capitol, it is more than I could have ever imaged, thank you all for your love and support.” He got through it.

"Well once again everyone let's hear it for Park Jinyoung!" They cheered louder than ever, Jinyoung felt like he was being bombarded from the wall of sound. He bowed the crowd he waved but when he walked off stage he knew he was still very much on edge. Jaebum was at his side in an instant.

"Let's go back," Jaebum said, "you did it perfectly." Jinyoung just nodded.

—————

“Do you still feel…” Jaebum spoke softly as they sat together on the roof of the penthouse. The cool of the night air was pleasant, not biting like the cold that entrapped their home during the winter. He’d wanted to go to the roof, to get as close to the stars as they could with the city lights polluting the atmosphere above their heads.

Jinyoung felt weak, when Jaebum began to ask questions like that he felt ashamed and weak. He knew Jaebum didn’t mean it that way, he’d never say such a thing to Jinyoung. He’d said the opposite almost every day. He’d told Jinyoung he was strong enough, that he could defeat the pain and trauma of the things he’d experiences. Still Jaebum asked, because he wanted to know how Jinyoung really was. He wanted Jinyoung to be honest with him, and he deserved it. 

He deserved honesty after what he’d witnessed.

Jinyoung nodded.

Jaebum had a grip around his waist, it tightened. Jinyoung put his head down in the shame of it. It was shameful to feel like giving up, like he felt ever so often when things got hard. Jaebum had truly seen him at his worst, something no one else had seen… Yet he was still frightened that one day Jaebum would decide he’d had enough. That he would leave Jinyoung on his own like it seemed he had in the first couple of months.

“Hey,” Jaebum said softly, “Jinyoung-ah, it’s okay. It’s okay.” Jinyoung let out a shaky breath, and nodded in response. Sometimes it was hard to speak words. Actions were enough, just clinging to Jaebum was enough that the elder knew what to say and what to do to show Jinyoung he was there and that he wasn’t leaving.

“You’re so strong Jinyoung-ah,” Jaebum said softly, “I want you to know that, to really know it.” Jinyoung just nodded again, he didn’t know it but he was glad he had Jaebum to remind him.

—————

Morning came faster than he’d expected, he couldn't tell it was morning from the windowless room. He could tell by the sound of Taehyung bouncing around the halls. He remembered the first time the younger had woken him up and chased him around those same halls with a hairbrush. Jinyoung had been so confused with how to handle him. He’d eventually just given up and let Taehyung have his way. 

The morning was dragged out as his team prepared him to be more elaborate in appearance than ever before. His clothing being more of the crazy styles the capitol wore but BamBam described it as dripping in wealth and excess. His hairstyle was also more wavy and messier than before. Meant to give him a look that would make him stand out amiss the overly put together looks of the people who he would be around. It took too much time. A testament that it was all about excess.

That people in the Capitol had time to array themselves like BamBam and Taehyung were outfitting Jinyoung every single day. It was astonishing to him. He barely got food that morning, only snacks that Jaebum brought him as he was cleaned and made up in every way. He looked in the mirror and found all of it impractical even for what was supposed to be nice gathering. He was uncomfortable in the shiny materials they had put him in.

“You’ll fit in perfectly,” BamBam responded to his complaints, “that is the goal, to be one of them for today. This is what you have to be, like it or not.”

“Okay,” Jinyoung responded. He felt awkward in the strange clothing but he guessed it was something he could handle for one night. It was heavy in a horrible way, like a suffocating weight pressing on his shoulders. He’d been unaware before the games how long he would really be in the game. He was back in the Capitol to play the part of one of them. The whole point was to show his transformation into one of the Capitol’s darlings and to show him off as a testament of how generous they were to the districts. Tour was hell, but he had a feeling the banquet would be worse.

Mentors normally didn’t attend the banquet, it was a celebration of the Captiol’s rule and only the victor from that year was invited. Jaebum had requested that Hani make sure he was included in the invite list because of how Jinyoung had been. He was glad that Jaebum would be there. Jinyoung walked out into the main sitting room with BamBam to see that the elder was in much plainer attire. He didn’t need to stand out despite being a former victor himself.

“No fair,” Jinyoung said as he took in Jaebum’s simpler look. The elder looked better than Jinyoung did even without all the treatments and over pampered pompous looks. He had a natural charm to him that didn’t need styling, Jinyoung’s eyes were drawn to him regardless. He was sure Jaebum would naturally stand out even without trying. He didn’t know if he liked that thought or not.

“I’m not the one everyone’s gonna want to talk to,” Jaebum said in response to his comment, “you look good Jinyoung-ah.”

“This stuff is suffocating,” Jinyoung replied about the clothing he was buried in, “I don’t look good, I’m pretty sure I look like I’m in pain.

“I’ve been where you are now,” Jaebum said, “only what my stylist did to me was far far worse. She dyed my hair blonde and added these bright colors into it. I was horrified.” The elder grimaced at the memory and Jinyoung was curious.

“I have pic...” Taehyung shouted before Jaebum clasped his hand over the young stylists mouth and glared at him.

“You have nothing,” Jaebum growled. Taehyung looked frightened then apologetic as Jaebum let go. Maybe Tae really was just scared of him like Jaebum had said. Jinyoung laughed though he was curious about what Taehyung had said, he would have to remember to ask him later. They set out after that, Hani was smiling as she led them both in.

“Smile both of you,” she declared with her singsong voice, “it’s time to show the world District 12’s victors may be few but they are the best Panem has! Everyone who’s anyone is here so this is your day to make the best connections for all the future opportunities you could have in the Capitol. District 12 may be your home but the Capitol is now a part of you as well.”

Hani was pointing out different guests with excitement and explaining what they did. Most of the occupations these people had Jinyoung couldn’t even understand. His world view was much different than Hani’s. This was her scene more than that of the boys. Bambam and Taehyung had both arrived at the party early and were hanging all over some of the guests who were also clearly very interested in them.

"Jinyoung!" Bambam shouted and waved him over. Jinyoung waved and walked toward him.

"Here's someone I want you to meet!" BamBam said, he grabbed the arm of the person next to him, "this is District 12's new second stylist, my very best friend in this whole world Kim Yugyeom." BamBam's seemed a lot wilder in this setting than anywhere else Jinyoung had ever seen him. He was practically jumping as he dragged Yugyeom towards Jinyoung.

"Pleased to meet you," Jinyoung said as he put his hand out to take Yugyeom’s in greeting

"No the honor is mine," Yugyeom said, "I watched the games with so much interest, you are the most incredible victor we have ever had! I look forward to working with you.” Yugyeom said and then he turned to get a look at Jaebum. There was something mischievous about the stylists eyes, the way he looked at him.

"Thank you," Jinyoung said politely. He was unsure how to act as the two boys started practically shouting over each other.

"May I steal him from you a moment?" a voice caught Jinyoung’s attention and they all turned to face a strange person. The man was one Jinyoung had never seen before but as he glanced back all the other boys seemed to know him.

"Jinyoung," Jaebum said, "this is JYP, former Capitol game maker. He planed the arenas of 12 very successful games in a row, and he re-appointed game maker for the arena this year." Jinyoung’s blood felt colder inside his body. This was someone responsible for planning the games that led to the loss of life of so many children. This was one of those responsible for feeding into the system that had killed Jungkook and Sana, and Jinyoung had to play the game to him directly.

"I'm glad you remember me Jaebum," the man said with a smile that seemed too warm for someone who built and ran arenas of death, "Jaebum was my biggest pride when he won. It was the best games I was ever involved in, but I have been so inspired by you who shares my name. I was interested in returning after seeing you in the arena last year.” Jinyoung realized the JYP must have stood for Jin-Young Park, the same name he had and he wondered at it. It was curious to find someone with the exact same name as him in the Capitol. 

"I never meant to be an inspiration," Jinyoung responded to JYP’s words, he felt for some reason he couldn't hide or hold back in front of this man even if he wanted to. That feeling frightened him.

"No one ever means to," JYP said, "but you are..." He looked at Jinyoung, there was an expression in his eyes that Jinyoung didn’t understand.

"Might I ask you to take a walk with me?" he asked. Jinyoung glanced at Jaebum who seemed of his guard at the moment, like he wasn’t afraid of Jinyoung going with the man. Maybe he was harmless. Jaebum didn't seem wary of him and he knew much more about Jaebum's past in the games that Jinyoung himself did. Jaebum beckoned him forward as if to tell him to go with JYP. So Jinyoung nodded and took the older man’s arm as he offered it. They walked off in a direction away from most of the crowds, Jinyoung took note of the way they were going in hopes that he could find his way back afterwards.

"I will say," JYP said, "you seem to have a knack for gaining admirers. You’re quite a handsome boy Jinyoung.” The man pointed to a bunch of people clearly watching him. Jinyoung looked away from them.

"I never sought and of this,” Jinyoung responded, "I simply do what I need to do when my decisions must be made and somehow that led me here.” The man laughed ad him.

"See that's what get's people’s love and attention,” he said, "you have a lot of grit to you but under it all you have conviction. Not everyone can fully identify it for what it is but it’s something alluring in these days where most are passive about the lives they lead.” Jinyoung was even more curious about him with those words, he seemed more self aware than most of the people he’d encountered in that city.

"And what about you," Jinyoung wanted the attention off himself and back on the older man. He wondered, what kind of man was a game maker? What gave someone the ability to sleep when they were responsible for the death of innocents? "Do you have convictions?" The man laughed again at him.

"My dear boy very few people around here can afford that luxury," he replied, "we live our whole lives in the game." Jinyoung was conscious of how dangerous any of his words could be but he wanted to know more, to push and find what was different about the person he was speaking to. Something about him seemed almost familiar, Jinyoung wondered if he’d seen him before. Had he been in the crowds during the preparation the year before or at the celebration where Jinyoung was crowned? 

"If you live in the game why would you want to come back to play childish ones?" Jinyoung quipped to him, "your retirement probably set you up nicely after planning 12 successful games. You do not have to worry anymore." He wanted to see only an enemy in this man, a killer.

"There is no getting out," JYP said more coldly in his tone, "I came back for more reason than just that though. I retired when Jaebum won, but I have seen a disappointing trend in the games. Your inspired me to take this new chance, a chance to make the games mean something again.” Jinyoung didn't quite understand that idea. The games already meant something, they were meant to instill fear. Meant to keep people in line, to declare that the Capitol could take away the lives of their children and they could do nothing to stop it. It was meant to prevent rebellion and war by the complete use of fear.

"The games already mean something," Jinyoung countered, “they’re a pillar of our society.” Those were the words he’d been told his whole life. That without the games everything would crumble.

"Sure the games mean many things,” the man said as he stopped walking and turned to face Jinyoung, "but are you familiar with the game of chess Jinyoung?" Jinyoung didn't know that he had ever heard of it so he shook his head. "Well the basic rules of the game are simple, you have game pieces, a king... The king is only mighty when his enemy is right before him, visible and clear. Next you have the queen, the most powerful piece in the game and prime protector of the king. The queen can see threats a far off and neutralize them before they get too close. Next are the knights.

"The knights are the agents that go out and kill the enemies with precision. The rooks are the towers of defense that fortify their strength around the king, The bishop is limited but powerful nonetheless. And lastly there are pawns. Pawns are numerous, deadly little things. But without pawns the game can not be won," he continued his explanation of a game Jinyoung couldn’t even picture, "players without foresight forget that a single pawn can be the difference between winning and losing. That is the game the Capitol has played for a long time. A king's existence hinges upon his subjects. What you do matters." Jinyoung supposed the king was the President, and Jinyoung was but a pawn within his game.

"I do not see myself as a pawn," Jinyoung said in response. He didn’t want to just be a piece in some game designed to keep them in oppression.

“You aren't one," JYP replied simply, "you are much more that that Jinyoung, but do you even understand where you fit in the game?" Jinyoung wasn't sure what he was getting at, and he knew any line of questioning could be dangerous. But Jinyoung thought more about everything he said, he could only pick out one piece he knew to be true. Because the moment he had stabbed that sword into the ground he was more than visible to his enemies.

"I am the piece in sight of the king," Jinyoung replied, he would play along with this mans game of words, "right in the line of fire."

“And what would you do to change it?” JYP asked him, “because maybe you’re not seeing the whole picture. Maybe your the one who’s limited sight is the most deadly in the end.” Jinyoung understood that implication but he didn’t want that either. He didn’t want to be seen as a leader.

“I am not what you think,” Jinyoung responded, he didn’t like the way the man was talking. He didn’t want to enter into any sort of conversation that could be used against him as treasonous. He had too much to lose.

“No my dear boy,” JYP responded, his expression softened and Jinyoung didn’t understand it, “it is you who are not seeing the full truth.” JYP turned away and then turned back for a moment.

“Just some things to think on,” he said softly. He reached and placed something in Jinyoung’s hand and walked away. Jinyoung looked down to see a game piece, it had a look to it that echoed the mans implications. He pocketed it as he didn’t want to look at it for much longer. He took a deep breath and glanced around. People were staring at him on all sides. He felt a bit alone in the shadow of the looming mansion.

He walked back the way he came seeking to find his friends again when he heard a commotion. Everyone was moving toward the giant balcony that hung over the gardens. The president was being announced in entrance to his own grand party. Jinyoung gazed up into the balcony eyes watching for his enemy, knowing that Yang would be seeking him in the crowd. His heart pounded in his chest and he wished he could vanish away from where they were.

The president stepped out, arrayed in glittering gold. Jinyoung didn’t want to meet his gaze should it settle on him. Jinyoung saw someone with a drink plater walking by and grabbed a couple of the drinks off of it to give himself something to do. They were in really small cups, he wondered how it was supposed to satisfy thirst with so little The attention was luckily off him for once. He tasted the drink it burned and was foul he realized it was alcohol and wondered how people actually drank it for fun. It left him curious so he drank both and traded the empty cups for a third one as he wanted to know if the effects were as nice as everyone seemed to say they were.

“Greetings, today we celebrate our prosperity!” President Yang began to speak above the people, they were cheering for him. Jinyoung tuned around and reached for another glass only to have it snatched away from his hand. He turned to see Jaebum putting it on a tray out of his immediate reach.

“I let you alone and you try to get drunk?” Jaebum asked him with an amused expression. Jinyoung glared in response to Jaebum’s interference. He wasn’t really trying he was merely curious as to what it would feel like. Jaebum had been drunk in his company before, he had no right to talk about what was and wasn’t okay.

“I don’t need a baby sitter,” Jinyoung replied to him as he searched for another option for alcohol. He was starting to feel a slight buzz in his head, he wasn’t sure he liked it but he curious to where it would lead him

“Clearly not,” Jaebum said, his words were coated in sarcasm. “What did JYP have to say?” Jinyoung glared at him again, he was frustrated with the elder for not staying close by.

“You should have followed along— if you were so intent on knowing,” Jinyoung felt his words a little dragged out, his brain was starting to fray just a bit at the edges. He needed more, he wanted to chase whatever that feeling was. It felt nice, it was good.

“Petty boy at it again I see,” Jaebum quipped. Jinyoung had half a mind to just walk away and get lost in the crowd. He was sure many of them would love a chance to introduce him to their drunken debauched lifestyles. Drinking was supposed to help people loosen up and enjoy things, maybe he would actually enjoy the party if he got drunk like everyone else.

"Whats wrong Jinyoung?" Jaebum questioned him.

"Nothing's wrong," Jinyoung wouldn't reveal anything as to what was said where they were, it was too dangerous.

"I've never known anyone to push past the taste of alcohol like that their first time trying it unless something was wrong," Jaebum said, calling him out. Jinyoung didn’t like that Jaebum was perceptive. Jaebum didn’t deserve to know things.

"Well sorry to let you know but you don't know everything," Jinyoung said loudly, it really wasn't fair of him to lash out at Jaebum like this now but everything around him was getting a bit fuzzy and the party looked too bright. He hated it there. He hated these people and their excess when his own district starved. He hated it. They wanted him to be a part of their world and he wanted to forget that he was stuck being associated with it for the rest of his life. Cruel and cryptic people who seemed to know more about him than he knew about himself. He was tired of all of it and just wanted to forget. He saw another waiter walking by with another tray of drinks but he didn't want Jaebum to see his intent so he focused away. 

"I'm sorry," Jinyoung said, "I'm just frustrated." Jaebum had a blind spot, he was blind to what Jinyoung could do just by pretending to be sorry. Jaebum would respond the way Jinyoung wanted him to, he knew that. Jaebum could read him but Jinyoung could still put on an act when it was necessary to do so.

"It's normal to feel that way with all this," Jaebum said, "no one gets used to it. Even after all the years I’ve had to travel to the capitol I’m not used to any of this.” The waiter was in perfect position, Jinyoung reached and grabbed the small glass and downed it before Jaebum had a chance to blink. He was coordinated from all his years in the forest even with how much his brain was beginning to feel fuzzy. The stuff he grabbed burned and he choked on it for a moment but got it down. His former mentor looked absolutely affronted.

"Why do people like this?" Jinyoung complained, his voice sounded really loud.

"You're going to understand real fast now," Jaebum said really angrily, "considering you don't even know what you just drunk." Jinyoung sighed, he wondered if he needed more. He glanced up to the balcony to see the president himself staring down at him, eyes fixated gaze clear. Jinyoung looked away, and Jaebum pulled him away from the waiters with the alcohol rather roughly. Jinyoung didn't know why Jaebum was being so grabby.

“Let go of me,” Jinyoung whined, “you’re so mean.”

"Shit Jinyoung, you don't even know how dangerous this is!" Jaebum declared as he pulled Jinyoung away from the crowded area..

"I knoww," Jinyoung said his word dragged a bit, he wondered if he was feeling drunk yet, "I just want to try it, please. I want more Jaebummie.” He pouted and blinked at the elder.

"You're already…” Jaebum declared, "you crazy idiot. You’re drunk already!” He dragged Jinyoung away further.

"No, no, no," Jinyoung said to him, "I want to go to the party.” He tried to pull away but Jaebum was strong. Jaebum was always stronger than him. His big strong Jaebummie. Jaebum sighed, Jinyoung liked his sigh.

"I should have known this was going to happen," Jaebum grumbled. Jinyoung didn't know why he was so grumpy when all the lights were so beautiful. And the plants were even beautiful. They looked like birds! He didn’t know why but it was funny.

"Jaebum why is the house purple!" Jinyoung declared loudly. The whole world looked a bit fuzzier and he laughed at how it was.

"Okay it's about time to go home," Jaebum said, he pulled Jinyoung farther away from the party.

"But I don't wanna go homme," Jinyoung slurred his words as he struggled to form them, "I want cake, green cake..." Green sounded delicious, he liked the color green. Like trees and grass. He liked grass.

"What's going on?" Jinyoung heard another voice, he knew that voice. 

"Bammie!" Jinyoung yelled leaning himself on the younger away from Jaebum, "Bammie you're the best. The party is so fun!”

"He's drunk," Jaebum said, “he had 4 shots and he's gone." BamBam didn't look happy. Jinyoung wanted them to be happy. He didn’t like it when his friends weren’t happy. Happy was the best feeling, being not happy meant he was sad or mad. Sad or mad weren’t fun, especially not sad and mad, it was really really not fun.

"This is not good," BamBam said, "we need to get him out of here before he starts getting talkative. We don’t even know if he’s a talkative drunk.” He wasn’t drunk, he was just happy. He needed to get drunk, that meant he needed to go back to the party. 

"Jinyoung," Jaebum said, "let's play a game." Jinyoung pouted more.

"I don't like games," He cried, "I want the cake!"

"He's sure a demanding drunk," BamBam remarked. "I'm going to get the car.” BamBam tried to detach Jinyoung from his side as he spoke and instructed Jaebum, "you watch him." Jinyoung resisted but BamBam got him off and Jaebum grabbed him fast as he started to feel a bit unsteady. Jaebum formed a strong grip on him quickly.

"Hey," Jinyoung said, "I know you, you don't let go. I want to let go, I want cake, the green one… You let go now!”

"You can have green cake when we get home," Jaebum said. Jinyoung didn’t want to wait till he got home.

"But I want cake now," Jinyoung was trying to get out of his grip but his limbs lacked the same normal control and he didn't have the ability to do it even before. "And more drinks..." Jinyoung whined staring towards the party. They were sitting in the garden, where Jaebum thought it was best to stay close but out of attention. Still people were obviously looking for Jinyoung. Jaebum realized the whole situation was bad all around and they needed to get out of there before it got worse.

"No more drinks for you!" Jaebum declared. He should have known better than to leave the younger alone with anyone. He had thought Jinyoung had better sense than to try to get himself drunk after how he’d seen Jaebum the year before. Jaebum had definitely made a mistake but he was determined to rectify it as best as he could.

"You're meany," Jinyoung whined at him, "go away!" He was demanding normally, everything was amplified now that he was drunk. Jaebum would have found it amusing if he wasn’t so worried about their situation.

"Not a chance," Jaebum said, "you're stuck with me Jinyoung-ah.” Jinyoung struggled against him again but something caught his eyes and Jaebum followed his gaze towards the sky. He wondered what got Jinyoung so focused on the sky. 

"Where are the stars?" Jinyoung asked as his eyes searched the sky. Jaebum realized what he meant. The lights blocked them out.

"They are up there," Jaebum said, "just the lights down here drown them out." They’d talked about it before. Jinyoung looked sad at the thought of it.

"I don't like it," he said, "we need the stars."

"If you look closely you can still see them," Jaebum reassured him, even if he was drunk and would forget all of what was said. Maybe he would at least remember Jaebum was trying to be as nice as he could. He was holding tight to Jinyoung but the younger couldn’t get away from him even if he wasn’t drunk.

"I bet they have green cake," Jinyoung pouted and he looked around squealed, "Tae's coming!" Jaebum looked up to find Taehyung was coming in their direction, he had a focused look on his face.

"The transport here," Taehyung said, "Bam sent me, he'll stay and wait for Hani but we’re all supposed to go now.”

“Okay let’s go,” Jaebum said hauling Jinyoung up. He pulled the younger close against him and followed Taehyung

“Nooooo,” Jinyoung said, “No goooo.” He was actually getting loud over this as Jaebum dragged him along.

“Trust me Jinyoung,” Jaebum said, “you’ll he happy we left in the morning.”

“But the cake!” Jinyoung cried out.

“Tae will get you one,” Jaebum said as he looked to the younger to help him out. Taehyung nodded and pointed to the car and ran back into the crowd to get the food item Jinyoung so desperately wanted. Jaebum let go of Jinyoung for a second to open the car door.

“Jae would love the lights,” Jinyoung said as he tried to walk away but Jaebum grabbed him fast to prevent him from getting to far away. “Waaaeeee.”

“Because you’re going to regret all of this,” Jaebum responded, “and I’m doing my best to make everything better for you.’

“I don’t, no,” Jinyoung was so fixated he almost fell off the seat in the car where Jaebum shoved him in. Jaebum grabbed him and climbed in to help steady him in his seat.

“You’d think my obvious bad decision last year would lead you to never try to pull something like this,” Jaebum mumbled as he strapped Jinyoung into his seat, the younger leaned against the window. He saw Taehyung running back with some cake.

"Look Tae's got your green cake," Jaebum said, hoping it would make Jinyoung more compliant.

"Yay!" Jinyoung said. Taehyung passed him the cake and got in the car. 

"I love cake," Jinyoung said then he was laughing and the cake nearly dropped out of his hand. Jaebum stopped it from doing so. They’d gone through a lot just for that stupid little green cake. He wasn’t going to mess that up. Jaebum was completely irritated as they were driven back to the penthouse and drunk Jinyoung was screeching at every sight of the city. He was going to regret it so badly, and Jaebum had fully plans in mind to make that regret even harder. He didn't want Jinyoung pulling stuff like this ever again. Things were bound to get worse, he needed to be in his right mind as much as possible.

They made it to the penthouse but not without Jinyoung describing everything he saw through his fuzzy brain's lens. He didn't know where they were until he was on the couch in the penthouse crying about how he didn't want to be there. He kept saying he wanted to go back to the snow, to district 12 and Youngjae. Jaebum knew he wasn’t in too much danger in the penthouse so he left him alone for a moment so he could get something from the kitchen. He was glad to find the kitchen stocked with some stronger varieties of alcohol and he brought it back to where Jinyoung was.

"Here Jinyoung," he said handing him the bottle, "didn't you want more?” He knew that the more Jinyoung had the sicker he would be in the morning, that would be a huge deterrent in the future. 

"Yay!" Jinyoung said as he took the bottle from Jinyoung, "but you want some too?"

"No I don't," Jaebum said, "you can have all of it!" Jinyoung seemed excited about that prospect. He began drinking it and he was unsteady so Jaebum helped him keep it steady. He got through half the bottle and Jaebum set it down. Jinyoung grabbed his arm tight and looked at him.

“Jaebum you smell so nice,” Jinyoung whined and he threw his head against Jaebum’s shoulder and inhaled. Jaebum stiffened.

“Okay Jinyoung,” Jaebum tried to push him off, “here you want more?” 

“Nooooo,” Jinyoung said he ran his fingers along Jaebum’s collarbone as if fascinated with it, “Jaebum you’re so pretty, you’re so so pretty.” Jaebum’s eyes widened at Jinyoung’s words, he hadn’t expected that to come out of Jinyoung’s mouth. As far as he was aware the way the younger felt about him was platonic… “You’re so so cute, so pretty. You’re my favorite person, you’re so much awesome. So nice.” Jaebum patted his head.

“Whatever you say Jinyoung-ah,” Jaebum said, he had to get it out of his mind. Jinyoung was just a clingy drunk, nothing more. Jinyoung’s hand wandered into his shirt and Jaebum grabbed it and pulled it out. “Jinyoung-ah!” He declared.

“No I want to touch!” Jinyoung declared as he tried to put his hand back down the collar of Jaebum’s shirt, “you’re so soft Jaebummie.” 

“That’s enough Jinyoung,” Jaebum laughed a bit as he pulled Jinyoung’s wandering hands away again.

“You’re funny,” Jinyoung declared, “do you want some too.” Jinyoung reached for the alcohol bottle and if Jaebum wasn’t absolutely certain Jinyoung wasn’t there at all he would have thought the younger was conspiring. Trying to get him in the same state Jinyoung was in at the moment. Jaebum pushed the bottle towards Jinyoung.

“No,” Jaebum said, “you can have it, just enjoy it Jinyoung-ah. It’s all yours.” Jinyoung smiled and began to drink it again. He looked over at Jaebum and ran his eyes all over Jaebum. Jaebum was very confused by how he was acting. Jinyoung nearly dropped the bottle and Jaebum caught it and realized it was empty. No wonder the younger was starting to look even more unsteady, and kind of tired in his eyes.

“You’re the best pillow ever,” Jinyoung declared and he grabbed at Jaebum. His hands wrapping around Jaebum’s abdomen and he leaned his head on Jaebum’s chest. Jaebum wanted to detangle him and get him in bed. He was going to throw up sooner or later and Jaebum would prefer not to be the target of it.

“I have more if you want it,” Jaebum declared.

“I want more,” Jinyoung mumbled into his shirt and Jaebum felt something sharp against his skin. 

“What the…” He pushed Jinyoung off of him and the younger was laughing, “did you just bite me?” Jinyoung kept laughing as he leaned back.

“You’re so nice,” Jinyoung whined, “you should taste nice too like green cake.” Jaebum flushed as he pushed Jinyoung back away from him when he tried to snuggle against him again.

“Okay you’re done,” Jaebum declared, “time to sleep.” He heard noise as BamBam and Hani arrived home. Jinyoung tried to lay on top of him again but Jaebum held him back away. Jinyoung was going to regret everything and Jaebum wasn’t even sure he was going to remember the things he’d been saying.

"I thought you brought him home to get him away from the alcohol," BamBam cried as he entered the sitting room and saw the bottles on the table.

"Well," Jaebum declared, "I wanted him to fully learn a lesson about this." Jinyoung's face was so red as he was going on and on about tasting green cake and Jaebum stood up and dragged him up. Jinyoung leaned against him.

"He's not going to feel so good tomorrow," Bam sighed. Jaebum knew that was the point he’d tried to make. But he realized it probably would be something Jinyoung would be angry about, even though he’d started it.

"Jaebummie," Jinyoung slurred as he leaned against him, "my stomach is spinning," Jaebum sat down quickly with Jinyoung and lifted the small trash can he had brought out for that very reason.

"Cut that to now," Jaebum said as Jinyoung vomited into the trash can. Jaebum tried not to look at it, he was sure it would be the color of the cake Jinyoung had eaten. 

"Gross," BamBam said. Jinyoung had gone from laughing to crying over losing his green cake.

"You're going to be okay Jinyoung," Jaebum assured him as the younger sobbed.

"I want to go home home," Jinyoung whined, "I don't like it here. I want to see Jae and Markie. I want to go home home." Jaebum pattered his head, he had to get him to sleep as soon as he could.

"We're going home tomorrow," Jaebum reassured him.

“Can we go home now?" Jinyoung asked so hopefully.

"Yes," Jaebum responded, "we can go home now after we sleep just for a little a bit." Jinyoung smiled as he didn't fully understand but that smile was gone as he vomited into the trash can again. Jaebum put it down after that and let Jinyoung lean on him.

"I'm sleeppy," Jinyoung said.

"Okay we’re going to go to to sleep," Jaebum said. Jinyoung curled up where he was, and he almost knocked the trash can over with his legs, Jaebum quickly moved it to where nothing would happen

"I'm going to sleep right here," Jinyoung declared as he patted Jaebum with his hand. His fist then curled and he started tapping lightly. Jaebum wasn’t keen on sleeping in the same place as Jinyoung with the potential of him loosing his stomach again. Jaebum would get him tucked in his own bed and then leave him there for the night. With the influence of the alcohol he was sure Jinyoung would sleep just fine without him.

"You can't sleep here Jinyoung-ah you have to make it to your room," Jaebum said, “come on.”

"Carry me," Jinyoung whined, "I don't like moving. Moving is hard.” He was so out of it and Jaebum almost laughed at him but his pitiful state was due to Jaebum's own lesson so he knew it was best to help him out in any way he could. He knew he’d get his way in the end and Jinyoung would regret everything enough to leave the alcohol behind for at least a long while.

"How's your stomach feeling?" Jaebum was a bit wary of carrying Jinyoung when he could explode at any moment.

"I'm fuzzzy," Jinyoung declared as he rubbed his hand over the hair on his arm.

"Fine," Jaebum said and he lifted Jinyoung up and carried him towards his own room. Jinyoung curled into his chest again but as long as his mouth was visible and not near biting Jaebum was fine with it.

"Jaebummie," Jinyoung yawned, "can I have a pet chicken? I’ll take good care of it.“ 

"Sure you can have any pet you want," Jaebum said, He set Jinyoung down gently on his bed and the younger curled up so fast. He pulled the covers over him and tucked them around him gently.

“Yay,” Jinyoung said as he yawned and already began to fall asleep in seconds.

"Jaebummie," Jinyoung whined, "you're not leaving right?" Jaebum sighed.

"No I'm not,” Jaebum responded. He sat down next to the tired kid. He would stay until Jinyoung fell asleep.

"Good," was the last thing Jinyoung said. Jaebum laughed at the fact he went out so fast. In the morning he would likely swear off drinking for the rest of his existence and Jaebum's work would be done. Tomorrow they would head back to district 12, and in two months they would be mentors together. He dreaded that day for Jinyoung and hated that inside he felt happy to have Jinyoung there. He didn’t feel alone since Jinyoung came into his life. He gently brushed the hair from the younger’s head before he got up and turned out the lights and shut the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writing drunk Jinyoung is always fun.
> 
> What do you all think of JYP? Is he bad news or someone to be trusted? 
> 
> I have much more planned for next chapter, Jinyoung and Jaebum will get to know each other in a different way as they have to work together at home.
> 
> Please comment and let me know what you think.


	7. Before The Snow Melts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jinyoung and Jaebum return home to 12 to find things are different than they expect.
> 
> Jinyoung comes to realize how little about Jaebum he knows and endeavors to understand the elder better.

Jinyoung woke up the next morning with his head was pounding like someone had hit it with a hammer several times. He groaned as he blocked out the light that was coming into his eyes, there were lights on in his room. What had happened? He was so confused as he looked around. Jaebum was nowhere to be seen and Jinyoung was in the center of the large bed. Jinyoung closed his eyes again the light made everything feel worse. 

That's when he felt his stomach churning, he knew that feeling. He quickly got up and ran to the wash room and found himself vomiting repeatedly. He put everything together, he smelled like alcohol, it was horrible. Memories from the night before came back to him in a haze. He remembered drinking, he remembered getting into the car from the party but he didn't remember much after arriving back at the penthouse. Even his last memories were fuzzy but he remembered Jaebum being there.

He leaned back against the wall his eyes closed from the pounding of his head. Why had he done it? He didn't remember what had driven him to it. He was still in his elaborate clothes from the day before, he was sure whatever makeup Taehyung had put on his face was still there. He felt disgusting. 

He heard a door open, he covered his eyes from the lights as he heard footsteps coming towards him. Jinyoung looked up and saw Jaebum walking into the doorway. He looked down at Jinyoung unsurprised at the state he was in. Jinyoung had a distinct fuzzy memory of Jaebum handing him a bottle back in the penthouse. He wasn’t an idiot, it was obvious in hindsight what Jaebum had been trying to do.

"I hate you," Jinyoung said as the elder stood over him and patted his head.

"Funny," Jaebum said, "last night you were very adamant about how much you liked me, how I was so nice and awesome and pretty. You used the word pretty a few times.” Jinyoung glared at him.

“You’re an asshole," Jinyoung whined. Jaebum had wanted him hung over and in pain for how he’d gone and grabbed the alcohol after being told not to. 

"And do you ever want to drink again?" Jaebum questioned him.

"Asshole," Jinyoung grumbled at him again, "of course not. Now shut up and go away my head hurts." He was really mad at the elder. Drinking had definitely been a bad plan in the first place but the elder had no business making it worse. Jinyoung wasn’t a child who needed a lesson taught to him, he was sure he would have figured it out on his own without Jaebum’s meddling.

"Get up Jinyoung-ah I can help you with how you feel, though I wonder if I should after you bit me yesterday,” Jaebum said. Jinyoung groaned, he did not remember biting Jaebum though he was sure the elder had done something to deserve it. Maybe even while drunk he had been semi-aware of Jaebum’s plan to make his morning hell. The younger slapped his hand away, he didn’t want any of Jaebum’s help nor any more of his lessons. 

“Jinyoung-ah,” Jaebum said like he was about to give a lecture.

“You’re not my dad, asshole leave me alone!” Jinyoung snapped and Jaebum threw his hands up. 

“Whatever you want,” Jaebum said before he walked away. Jinyoung glared after him and felt his stomach churn again leading him to vomit a few more times. Jinyoung's stomach cried and he soon ended up heaving without much coming out. It felt like hell and he just wanted to rewind and undo his decisions.

When BamBam came to see him he was curled on the floor in the fetal position, his eyes were covered with his arm. He felt like he was in the most pain he had ever been in and he had been sliced by a sword twice and bit by a rabid mutt. He hated everything, and Jaebum for causing it.

"Get up Jinyoung," BamBam said, "I have your cure." Jinyoung opened his eyes to see BamBam standing in his doorway with a green drink in his hands. Jinyoung glared at it as if it was something offensive.

"I don't want to drink anything else," Jinyoung responded, "I don't trust you." BamBam and Jaebum were always conspiring on the things he did. He was 80% convinced BamBam was probably in on Jaebum’s insane plan to make his life miserable. He was angry and he wanted them both away from him. He wanted Taehyung, the only person he trusted was Kim Taehyung.

"This is how you get over your hangover," BamBam stated and Jinyoung continued to glare. BamBam’s next words were defensive. "I wasn't in on it, I would have stopped him if I was here!" He seemed affronted that Jinyoung blamed him as well and Jinyoung guessed he wasn’t being quite fair. So Jinyoung sighed and sat up. It was best to listen to BamBam and try to end the pounding in his head.

"I hate him," Jinyoung said as he took the drink away from BamBam.

"Funny," BamBam said, “when I got home last night you were clinging to him like he was your favorite person in the world.” Jinyoung smelled the stuff in the glass, it smelled horrible and he wasn’t convinced it wasn’t meant to make things worse.

"What's in this?" Jinyoung questioned as he looked at it with disgust.

"Spinach mixed with 3 tablets that will help you,” BamBam said, "trust me this is the best way to fix this. Jaebum has been hung over quite a bit in the past and Taehyung and I have perfected that mixture for him.” Jinyoung remembered when Jaebum was drunk before the games, how Taehyung and BamBam had both taken care of him.

"I hate him," Jinyoung repeated again after thinking about Jaebum. The elder knew exactly how Jinyoung would feel in the morning, and somehow Jaebum chose to feel that way multiple times in his life.

"To be fair he tried to stop you," BamBam said, "you apparently downed a shot in his face after he told you not to and tried to get you away from the alcohol. You pretty much brought this on yourself, you didn't have to be so bratty at the party." Jinyoung just wanted to try the alcohol, he was curious and everyone else seemed to love it and he’d always heard it was good for managing the emotions he’d been feeling. 

"He's an ass," Jinyoung didn't want to let Jaebum off the hook at all. He wanted to insist his way until someone agreed with him.

"I don't care," BamBam replied, "you have to drink all of that, then clean yourself up. I’ll leave clothes for you on your bed.” Jinyoung grimaced, the smell was making his stomach turn but he tried a bit, it tasted so salty he almost spit it out. He had to fight a gag reflex to actually swallow it.

"This is disgusting!" He whined to BamBam as the other had already begun to walk away.

"Well drink your glass of regret and never do that again," BamBam shouted back at him. He left the room seeming very frustrated. Jinyoung began to wonder if the younger had added something to make it taste worse on purpose. He took another gulp and had to fight to swallow it again. How was he supposed to drink all of it? He worked at it for what seemed like forever and he was lucky he didn’t throw it up. He gagged a few times but eventually got the whole glass down. He got up and went back to his empty bed and knocked the clothes BamBam left onto the floor. 

He climbed in and fell asleep again. He had no intention of following anymore orders for the morning. He just wanted to sleep.

He woke up to the sound of someone saying his name. He opened his eyes to see Taehyung. He noticed upon waking up that his head felt better, it wasn’t pounding like it had been. Still it wasn’t perfect, it had started to feel numb around the edges. Taehyung had a tray with a glass of water and some eggs.

"Jinyoung, hyung,“ Tae said, "Jaebum told me to have you eat all of this." He sat down next to Jinyoung and held out the tray.

"Taehyung what time is it?" he asked. He had no idea what was going on, he just wanted to keep sleeping. He did feel a bit hungry, after how he’d been emptying his stomach all morning.

"It's about 10:00 am," Taehyung said. The younger sat down next to him. "The train is leaving in an hour and you stink." Jinyoung groaned, he just wanted to go back to sleep but he sat up and took the tray from Taehyung. Water would be good, he knew that much.

"So I'll shower after I eat," Jinyoung replied. He realized how obvious it was that Jaebum had sent Taehyung with the food so Jinyoung would accept it. He ignored that fact.

"Sound's good," Taehyung responded. Jinyoung found he was hungry and the plate of food was good after he had been forced to drink that awful concoction of BamBam's. Water helped wash it all down, he was feeling better after it. 

"I'm going to miss you hyung," Taehyung said with a sad expression. He was going to miss Taehyung too.

"Why aren't you coming with us?" Jinyoung asked, he’d expected the prep team to stay with them for the journey back. Though it was only a few hours by train, they would be making no stops on their way. Taehyun shook his head before offering an explanation.

"We go back to work tomorrow," he said, "and you're going straight home so you don't need anymore styling." He put his arm around Jinyoung. "I'm just really going to miss you." Jinyoung patted his head, he realized the move was one Jaebum made with him often. He was still so mad at the other.

"I'm going to miss you too," he said. He really loved having Taehyung around, he had a lot of brightness to him that Jinyoung needed so much after the games. Jinyoung did have mixed feelings because he wanted to go home but at the same time he was dreading returning. He was dreading his father's behavior and more of the fight between his family and Jaebum. He didn’t understand why they couldn’t just adjust to the fact that Jaebum was in their lives to stay.

Jinyoung finished his food and went to the washroom. While he was getting ready to shower he realized there was something in his jacket pocket and pulled out a game piece. He then remembered his encounter with the JYP, the things he had said. Those were the things that frustrated him as he looked down at it. He didn’t like what he thought it meant. He put it on the counter and after he finished his shower he put it in the pocket of the clothes BamBam had left him to dress in. 

The rest of the morning went by quickly. He was dressed simply and he let Taehyung brush his hair a last time before they were taken to the train station. He waved to the crowds as they had turned out once again to see him off, there were less people but still a lot of them. Soon enough it was all over and he was back on the train with Jaebum heading back towards his home.

He was still mad at Jaebum, he had a habit of holding grudges and taking his time to forgive the elder. So Jinyoung ignored Jaebum when they ate lunch together and he spent most of the train ride watching the scenery of the different districts in the back car. He also spent his time reading a book Hani had given him, it was an interesting fantasy tale without much substance but was apparently one of her favorite books when she was young. Jinyoung was reminded of the game piece with the talks of royalty within the book. He found himself staring at the game piece and wondering about it. 

He knew Jaebum might know what piece it was. He didn’t want to ask the elder. He wondered if Mark knew about chess, the elder had gotten father in school than he had. Asking Mark with his current mindset would be preferable to speaking to Jaebum about it. He resolved to at least ask Mark if he knew what chess was and if he could teach him to play, he could figure it out then.

The train arrived at the station in district 12 after sunset. Jinyoung nodded politely to Jaebum when he saw him again at the exit of the train. Jaebum had been nice enough to give him the distance he wanted, though Jinyoung didn’t doubt he had stayed close. The two boys were greeted to cheers from the people of their district upon their arrival and peacekeepers escorted them back to the victors village. Jinyoung still refused to say a word to the elder and Jaebum didn't push him.

They were greeted by Youngjae and Mark when they arrived back to their homes. Jaebum waved but went into his house. Jinyoung was hugged by the both of them at once. He was so glad to be back with them. 

"We missed you," Youngjae said, the younger was close to crying. Jinyoung remembered their tearful goodbye, he’d wished then that he could have brought his brother with him but he knew how dangerous things were. It was better that Youngjae was left to wait for him. It had only been a few days but so much had happened.

"I told you I'd be back before the snow melts," he said softly to his brother. There was still snow on the ground, haunting memories. Not everything could be forgotten or left behind.

He at dinner with the two of them but his dad was strangely absent from the reunion. He didn’t ask, nor would he ever admit how much it hurt. That night he went to sleep feeling cold and staring at the game piece on his nightstand, wondering what meaning it could have. He felt an awful sense of dread, he knew this wasn't over. The president's threat was real… He hated feeling like there was something about to happen and he could do nothing from stopping it.

It hung over his head all tour. He tried to hide it in the last days. It was almost like he was trying to hide from it and trying to shut it in but tears fell from his eyes before he fell to sleep. He struggled sometimes when he was alone, because he knew he didn’t have to be. If he walked to the house next door and crawled into bed beside Jaebum the elder would wrap him up and forget all the things he’d said. He hated feeling helpless. He hated feeling like he couldn’t handle it on his own, and his pride was still there. So he stayed on his own, closed his eyes and eventually drifted off to sleep.

—————

"Things have gotten worse out here," Mark said. The two of them were sitting in the forest, in one of the big trees where they normally watched the sunset together on nice days. It had been a few days since Jinyoung had come home and he spent each day out with Mark or Youngjae. He was trying to keep himself busy, preoccupied with the people he loved as to not be confronted with the things that kept coming up in his mind. He had seen how bad things had gotten in the district and wondered how things had changed so quickly.

The number of peacekeepers in town had gone up since before he’d left. The number of people on the streets had gone down. The old mayor had vanished and was replaced a new one. Mark informed him that the underground markets had been shut down. Things were changing for the worst and he was left to wonder if it was his fault. The snow was melting, the winter was ending but it felt like the season was only growing stronger over the people of the district.

"I think it's my fault." Jinyoung said as Mark informed him of recent arrests made and the curfew enacted on the village. “I don't know what to do." So many people were looking to him to fix things, he saw hope in people’s eyes when he went into the village. People looked to him to do and be something he couldn’t be.

"It's not your fault,” Mark said, "our leaders are the ones at fault, they're dealing out more and more oppression. They would have without you, and this certainly didn’t begin because of you.” He wasn't sure about anything anymore. He might have believed it was just the way things were if he hadn’t seen how the other districts responded to him. The president was right that there was a growing unrest, and it had all began with him. The darkness was growing as the President cracked down on their hope.

He slipped his hand in his pocket and felt the game piece he’d been given. He carried it each day just like he wore Jungkook's watch every moment since it was returned to him. If anyone recognized it from the games they didn't say anything. He looked to Mark and wondered again if his friend could give answers about the game JYP had described to him and the riddles about his role in it.

So he did what he had been thinking about doing for days he held out the game piece for Mark to see. Mark looked down at it confused as to why JInyoung was holding it out.

"Do you know what this is?" Jinyoung asked him. The elder looked back at Jinyoung with confusion.

"A chess piece," he stated as if it was obvious.

"Yeah but which one?" Jinyoung questioned. The elder still was clearly confused.

"Why?" Mark asked, "where did you get it?" He knew the elder could see how elaborate it was, Jinyoung was sure it was marble, white but not like the snow. It was imperfect but still something beautiful in how it was carved. The elder was probably wondering how he couldn't know what the game was if he had the whole set somewhere. But Jinyoung didn’t have a whole game set, he just had the one piece.

"Someone gave me this," Jinyoung responded, "I have never seen a chess piece before. I am curious, what is it he gave me? He didn’t give me an explanation.“ Mark seemed wary as if wondering who could give this to Jinyoung as if Mark could see the meaning. Jinyoung felt nervous for some reason but he knew he could trust Mark.

"What you hold is the king," Mark replied, "the most vulnerable yet powerful. Without the king there is no game.” So Jinyoung’s suspicion had been correct. 

"Do you know how to play?" Jinyoung asked him. He was curious if any insight into the game could help him determine more about what JYP was trying to tell him. Mark shook his head.

"Not really," he responded, "but I used to go after school to watch two of the elders in the village play it in the hob. They used to go for hours, and spend a long time on each of their moves. It’s a game of strategy, of seeing several moves ahead.” He had never seen anyone playing a game in the hob, that had probably happened while Jinyoung was busy with other things. Maybe he just wasn’t observant about it.

His mind still wondered about the game in general, he wondered if those elders were still around. Maybe they could teach him how to play. He had been handed the white king, and just as the old man had alluded to him being lacking of sight. He had said the king could only eliminate the enemies right in front of him and relied on others to see the threats that were farther away. What game could a game maker be prepared to create? What was the meaning of any of what he said?

"Have you asked Jaebum about it?" Mark asked him.

"No," Jinyoung responded, he had ignored Jaebum for days even through several bad attacks where all he’d wanted was to rum to Jaebum’s house again. He was stubborn to a fault. "Why?" Why would Mark be asking about talking to Jaebum? As far as he knew Mark and Jaebum still didn’t get along.

"His father was one of the men who played it,” Mark replied, "he never lost a single game. Apparently other men in the village challenged him for years and gave up.”

"Jaebum's father?" Jinyoung questioned, the elder had never spoken of the man once. He had never even alluded to having parents or a family beyond his sister. Jinyoung wondered what could have happened to them. Mark had seen Jaebum’s father before so he had been in the district.

"Jaebum hasn't talked about him?" Mark asked, "he was well known throughout town. One of those people who was always kind to everyone, a very giving man who never missed a chance to help someone in need.” Jaebum had never talked about him and Jinyoung had never heard of him. He didn’t pay attention much to the people who were well known in town, his focus had always been on his family.

"Who is he?" Jinyoung asked, Jaebum really had said nothing.

"He used to have a market for produce," Mark said, “he and his wife grew a garden every year. After Jaebum was taken for the games he shut down his shop. When Jaebum won we didn't hear from him for a long time. I used to buy from him, he was very nice to me, always gave me the best he could.” 

"What happened after?" Jinyoung asked, he didn’t live with Jaebum in the victors village. As long as Jinyoung had known him Jaebum had lived completely alone.

"We always assumed he moved with in Jaebum," Mark said, "I expected to see him again once you moved up there. I was surprised not to." Jinyoung wondered where he could be and why Jaebum hadn't ever said anything about him. He had talked about Jimin but not his parents.

"He hasn't said anything about them," Jinyoung said, confirming what Mark had said. His brow furrowed. How could Jaebum have never said one thing about his father or his mother? He was torn up about his sister, maybe something more happened.

"Well rumors are abundant in town,” Mark replied, "I didn't believe them until recently, but word around was that after their daughter died they got permission from the capitol to move districts. The rumor is that they didn't ever want to see their son again." Jinyoung’s heart sank, he didn’t know what to believe but if they had really done that… "Like I said I didn't believe it, no one is allowed to move districts, but like I said… They weren't there and they're nowhere else in the district." 

Jinyoung wondered, if they possibly could have died but Jaebum hadn't even said that. If they had left him it would have been worse than them dying. He’d been able to talk about his sister. Maybe the reason he couldn’t talk about his parents was that those rumors were true and they’d abandoned him.

"That's why there rumors that Jaebum was a coward," Jinyoung connected the pieces of the things he’d known, “that’s why people dislike him so much even though they don’t know him. Even you don’t like him because of this? That’s it isn’t it?” He’d always been unable to understand why Mark treated Jaebum so badly, it made no sense. He would have thought out of all people Mark would try to understand and try to befriend Jaebum. 

"Jinyoung with me it's more than that," Mark admitted, "it's just been your family and mine for so long, I didn't want someone else there. I still don’t want someone else coming between us…” He seemed sad. "And Jaebum knew best what was going on. I felt helpless, like I didn't know how to help my best friend and this guy who no one likes knew what to do. And you spent so much more time with him than the rest of is, I was jealous. I am sorry, I didn't understand then why…”

"Understand what?" Jinyoung asked. What he had heard Mark say was not what he was expecting. He’d never known that Mark could possibly feel like he was being replaced. 

“I didn’t understand you needed him," Mark said, “that you still need him… He knows how to help you better than any of us." Jinyoung wondered if Mark had sensed that Jinyoung was mad at Jaebum. "He's done a lot of good Jinyoung and I know now that he's not what people say he is.”

"Yeah I know," Jinyoung replied. He knew very well. He knew Jaebum to be someone who was very brave, very strong and patient. He didn’t let his mistakes define him, he’d gone from a reluctant mentor to the only thing holding Jinyoung together. Jinyoung felt bad for misjudging him as well upon their first meeting, he hadn’t really given him a chance either. He could understand Mark better with that perspective.

"So talk to him Jinyoung-ah,” Mark said, "I think he can help you better than I can with your questions.” Jinyoung nodded, he knew Mark was right. Jaebum could help him and he needed to swallow his pride and go to the elder for help. But he was afraid, for many reasons he didn’t understand.

They left the forest shortly after, the sun was low and the air was cold with the dusk. The snow was still strong, much of it had grown icy but he knew it well. 

—————

Jinyoung walked through town alone later searching for Jaebum, he knew the elder was normally out at around that time. Mark was right that he should talk to Jaebum about things. He could continue to hold the grudge or let it go. Letting it go was better than how he’d been for the days since he’d returned. He was more at peace with Jaebum around even though he didn’t want to admit that to the elder.

So an hour after leaving Mark, Jinyoung found himself walking through town alone in search of Jaebum. He felt stupid, and selfish after his conversation with his friend. In almost a year knowing Jaebum he had never even asked the elder about his family. He had taken what he knew and formed an image of Jaebum in his mind and never asked for clarification on the things he didn’t know. He took from Jaebum but wasn’t any sort of support from him in return. It felt like in everything their relationship was one sided with further examination. Jaebum had done a lot for Jinyoung, Jinyoung had done nothing for him.

Everything was weighing on him at once. He realized the elder normally took to town around that time most days, Jinyoung didn't know why that was. He didn't know why Jaebum did a lot of things, he’d just accepted them as the times Jaebum wasn’t with him. He was angry with himself. He didn’t understand how he could have been so stupid?

Jaebum had been there for him at his lowest. He always dropped everything he was doing when Jinyoung went to him for help. Jinyoung usually repaid him by holding grudges and misunderstanding him. There were things about Jaebum that drove him crazy. The way the elder always lectured him and tried to teach him lessons as if he was nothing more than a child. He’d never examined why those things bothered him, why he would lash out against Jaebum. He wasn’t fully sure why, but he realized there was a lot he’d been ignoring for the months they’d been together and it was wrong.

He just wanted to find him, and ask him some simple questions he should have asked back when they’d first begun to really get to know each other. Or when Jaebum had begun to get to know him because all Jinyoung had done was make assumptions.

As he walked through town and the people there bowed to him as he walked by. He bowed politely in return, he noticed how many eyes were on him. There was a reason he usually avoided it. He didn’t like when people were staring at him and he didn’t like seeing how bleak things had gotten. After being in the capitol all the colors seemed muted, the pain in people’s eyes was more obvious. He never knew how to act towards people when they treated him like someone who deserved respect. 

He was walking and he focused his brain back on searching for Jaebum when he heard a commotion and wondered what was going on. He hesitated but rushed in the direction of the sounds, to overcome by curiosity to ignore it. People were shouting and when he approached the source of the noise he saw that there as a mob of people and that they were held back by peacekeepers on one side of the street. Jinyoung quickly rushed into them and he pushed through the crowd to see what was going on on the other side.

He needed to know what, he felt something was really wrong.

He got jostled a bit, but he got to the front because he was determined to do so. When he got there he saw an elder woman kneeling on her knees begging them to stop. What she was looking to were four peacekeepers ganging up on one man and beating him. Jinyoung felt a anger surge through him as he realized the man being beaten was Mark. Jinyoung shouted for them to stop. He didn’t even hesitate to think. He pushed his way past the peacekeepers and ran out into the street.

The crowd gasped as they saw him. Everyone knew who he was. He didn’t hesitate for one second, h pushed down one of the peacekeepers easily and punched another square on in the jaw to get them away from Mark. They weren't used to being fought back against and that much was clear with how shocked they looked. Mark shouted his name as he stood glaring at the two peacekeepers who were holding Mark’s arms.

He didn't care what was going on, he was seeing red and he wanted them away from his friend. The ones that were holding Mark let go of him. The elder was gasping in clear pain and he collapsed to the ground when they let go of him. Jinyoung was surrounded by all four then but he wasn’t worried about his chances. Jinyoung knew it was bad but none of them had survived the games and what he’d endured. They knew little of hardship.

"You wanna fight boy?" One of them asked. Jinyoung's breathing was steady. One lunged at him he slipped away and used that opening to knock the peacekeeper in the back of the head with his elbow. He was outside of being surrounded and Mark was behind him while they were in front of him. He stood between his friend and the cowards. He saw that someone had run from the crowd to Mark, and he realized it was Youngjae.

"Mark don't let him watch this," Jinyoung said to his friend. He moved carefully around the men eyes watching them for any move. The people were screaming for their victor. Jinyoung hadn't been idle even with his issues. He hadn't done nothing over the months since he’d been back. He was ready to fight. Three of the men moved forward at once to grab him.

He was able to punch one so hard he went down to the ground. The second close to him he pushed hard into tripping over the one that was down. Jinyoung wasn’t the kind of person to hold back when he was angry. The third peacekeeper was fast and landed a hit on him but someone hit him hard in return. Jinyoung wasn’t surprised when he realized it was Jaebum who had joined in on the fight.

"What the hell have you gotten yourself into?" the elder shouted at him. The peacekeepers were getting up and were going to be coming at them again.

"Mark," Jinyoung said, he turned and saw his friend was struggling trying to stand. Jaebum saw it and Jaebum's response was to push Jinyoung behind himself as the peacekeepers began to approach again. The elder’s fist clenched as Jaebum looked at them.

“Stand down,” Jaebum commanded them, “there is no need for this to get ugly.” Jinyoung stepped out from behind Jaebum to glare at them. He was ready for a fight, adrenaline pulsing through his veins.

"The boy interfered," one of the peacekeepers said, he pointed to Mark, "this boy defied our orders, so we were punishing him. That boy's defiance deserves punishment as well.” The man pointed to Jinyoung and Jaebum pushed him behind himself again. Jinyoung would have whined at the elder if he didn’t fully understand the situation they were in.

"Do you have any idea who this is?" Jaebum questioned them, “this is Park Jinyoung, the Capitol's victor whom they just celebrated. You have no right to inflict punishments on him!”

"I have right over this district," the man said, "and everyone in it even you and him." Jinyoung didn’t understand why Jaebum thought arguing about them as victors would work, they were still citizens of 12. They still had no rights.

"So what did he do that was so bad?" Jaebum asked about Mark. Youngjae was holding Mark's hand and trying to help him stand. Jinyoung worried, he’d been beaten so badly.

"We were removing this beggar from the streets," they pointed to the woman who Jinyoung had noticed earlier, "he defied us. We responded by punishing him for his insolence.” Jinyoung’s blood boiled. He wanted to beat them all till they looked as messed up as Mark. He wanted to lung at the man speaking and fight him to the ground.

"She's a harmless old woman," Jaebum growled, "is this any reason to beat a man?" 

"It isn't," Jinyoung said he was so angry his body was shaking. He was going to take every single one of them with his bare hands if they tried anything else. Their actions were wrong and he wouldn’t just stand by and let them happen.

"What does remain is that boy you are protecting attacked our ranks," the man said, "such actions are punishable by death. Park Jinyoung deserves to die for what he’s done.” Jinyoung knew the situation was serious, and he wondered then what was going to happen. He really hadn’t thought before jumping into the fight. He’d just been so angry.

"What do you think will happen to you if you kill someone of his profile?" Jaebum shouted at the peacekeeper, "that you're safe from the same punishment? Do you think the Capitol will just wink at you for it? You think you can get away with that?" Jaebum seemed frustrated then in a second he stepped away from Jinyoung exposing him to the peacekeepers. “Do you want to try it?" Jaebum spoke and glared at the man. Jinyoung clenched his fists as he suddenly felt vulnerable.

"JAEBUM!" Mark shouted in response, Jinyoung's heart pounded. He wasn't expecting any of this to happen. He looked at Youngjae who was crying as he held on to Mark.

"Try it!" Jaebum shouted. The peacekeeper drew his gun and pointed it at Jinyoung who flinched. He was frightened, he felt that fear creeping throughout his whole body as he stared at the man who had a gun trained on him. He didn't know what Jaebum was playing at he looked to see the elders face twisted with such anger. Jinyoung wanted to stop all of this. His actions had saved Mark yes but would he die for it? He wanted to run to Jaebum, to hide away from everything that was suddenly happening.

His heart was pounding in his ears and just when he thought he couldn’t take it any longer the peacekeeper lowered his gun. Jinyoung breathed out in relief as the man looked angry but resigned. He heard people murmuring, he’d forgotten the crowd was there watching everything that had taken place.

"See you know as well as I do how bad a move that would be," Jaebum said, "you clear your people out now, you've had your fun!" The man moved his gun to Jaebum, as if ashamed he had been talked to like that by him but then he dropped his arm. He clearly knew he'd lost. Jaebum wasn’t afraid of him and Jinyoung realized he shouldn’t have been either.

Jinyoung rushed to Mark now that the danger had clearly ended. He helped the other up and Youngjae grabbed onto Jinyoung. The people cleared the way as Jinyoung moved to help Mark out of there, Jaebum stood like a statue still watching every move the peacekeepers made as Jinyoung moved to leave. He was thankful for Jaebum, thankful the elder had come. Things could have gotten a lot worse if he hadn’t been there.

"You'll get your punishment Jaebum," the peacekeeper spat on the ground in front of him, "hear my words, it's going to be over for all of you!" Jaebum turned away then after them. Jinyoung's heart was pounding and he saw the expression on Jaebum's face, he looked sad but he looked at Jinyoung like he was trying to reassure him. Like in a single gaze that Jaebum could tell him that everything was going to be okay. They stumbled through the streets, Jinyoung tried his best to help Mark walk. The snow was beginning to fall again, he looked up at it. He wasn’t going to lose another friend in winter, in snowfall.

Jinyoung stumbled again and Jaebum came alongside him. Instead of just helping Mark and Jinyoung, Jaebum scooped Mark into his arms and held onto him strongly. Jinyoung breathed in relief. Mark was so pale as they used back to his home.

“Youngjae run ahead to tell dad,” Jinyoung instructed, “go!” The younger nodded, there were tears in his eyes but he was so strong as he immediately began to run.

“Jinyoung it’s okay,” Mark said softly, he didn’t look okay. His eyes looked unfocused, he looked so badly beaten. It was frightening. Mark’s eyes fell closed and Jinyoung realized he’d passed out. Jinyoung was shaking, tapping trying not to panic because he couldn't watch another one die. He couldn't do it. 

They made it back, Jinyoung's father had his medical bag out waiting for them. Jaebum laid Mark on the table and began to help Jinyoung’s father. Jinyoung leaned back.

"Concussion," Jaebum said quickly. Jinyoung's father nodded and Jaebum helped him with Mark. Jinyoung fell to his knees in the hall way, desperate for some reprieve from the panic he felt beginning to pressurize in his body. Youngjae was running about outside at their father's orders getting snow. There wasn't much left to gather close to their house.

Mark woke up struggling against the pain as Jinyoung's father worked over some of the damage, cleaning it and bandaging it. Jaebum held him down to keep him from hurting himself more. Youngjae ran past Jinyoung with the bowl and was the first one to notice how he reacted. He put the bowl on the table and rushed back to Jinyoung.

"Jinyoung," Youngjae knelt down in front of him, "He's going to he fine, he's going to be okay." Jinyoung couldn't breathe, he couldn't think after what had happened. He was so scared. He had been so scared despite how he had fought back. 

"He's losing a lot of blood." He heard his father say.

"Knife wound," Jaebum said hands finding it clearly, Jinyoung watched him. Jaebum was so assured in how quickly he was there and how he was helping.

"I'm going to shut it," Jinyoung's dad said. He moved a cloth to clean it. Mark shouted grunting, screeching from how much pain it was. Jinyoung wished they had the medicine Jaebum had sent to him during the games. They had nothing that could help them. It was frightening. Jinyoung saw Jaebum was working a metal rod to where it was hot beside his father. They were going to use it on Mark. Jinyoung's body froze as Youngjae grabbed his face.

"It's going to be okay," Youngjae was so calm even seeing all that was going on. Mark screamed louder before as his father took the metal and brought it his side. Jinyoung cried, he hated it.

"Hold him," Jinyoung's father said and Jaebum held him down even as he squirmed to try and get away from the heat. The house smelled of burned flesh, Youngjae hugged Jinyoung. His father grabbed the bowl of snow and coated the burn in it.

"Youngjae we need more," his father said and Youngjae let go of Jinyoung to grab the bowl and do his part. Mark's screaming continued from the burns and the cold on his flesh. Jinyoung's father worked at cleaning more cuts and closing them. Mark passed out soon enough and Jaebum prepared to wake him up as soon as treatment was over. If he had a concussion he couldn't sleep for long.

It felt like an eternity before it was all over and Mark was finally awake again. They had to pack snow around the burned skin and it melted often, Youngjae kept running out to get more, his father instructing for him to find the icier chunks. Jinyoung though he would never be glad to see snow again; he’d been wrong. Jaebum had seen him gasping after Mark woke up and had helped him through again.

After all the chaos, Jinyoung sat with Mark. As he sat beside him he wondered what he’d witnessed. Things had gotten very bad if peacekeepers were issuing beatings for objections on how they handled old women. Mark had gone silent about everything and Jinyoung quite preferred the silence.

He heard the voices of his father and Jaebum talking over what happened. His father had gone from practically interrogating the elder to thanking him. It was progress between them that Jinyoung was thankful for. For once they weren’t at odds and given how they worked together Jinyoung believed there was hope that the two of them could both finally see eye to eye. Jinyoung laid his cheek on Mark's hand. The day went wrong so quickly and he was scared things could go wrong again. Mark smiled down at him.

“Jinyoung-ah,” he said, his voice sounded strained, “don’t look so worried, I’m fine.” Jinyoung shook his head.

“None of this is fine,” he replied, “I know all this was just Capitol’s response to my defiance. This is my fault.” 

“No,” Mark said, “its all of ours. We let this happen.” Jinyoung saw the depth in his eyes and understood what he meant. He wasn’t just talking about things in twelve. He was talking about all of Panem and the reality of the world they lived in. How long people had just let injustices go without fighting back.

“Jinyoung,” he heard his name from his father as two pairs of footsteps walked into the room he sat up and turned to them. Youngjae had long ago fallen asleep on the couch. Jinyoung’s eyes met his fathers at attention.

“I want you take Jaebum with you and collect some ice flowers from the forest,” his father said. 

“Why?” Jinyoung asked, it seemed to be an odd sort of request. He knew what ice flowers were but he’d never known them to be anything other than a pretty blue flower.

“The nectar in them makes a good salve for the burn,” his father said. He held out a basket. Jinyoung guessed why he was sending Jaebum with him, there was a curfew and he didn’t want Jinyoung out alone in case things went wrong again. Given how the elder had helped out earlier, it was probably an insult acting like Jinyoung needed a baby sitter but he didn’t care.

“Okay,” Jinyoung responded. He squeezed Mark’s hand and got up. He pulled on a jacket and Jaebum fell alongside him as they left the house. The boys set out into the dark, the lights were all turned out. He could see no life from the district. The peacekeepers didn’t seem to realize it made it easier to get around without lights effecting their vision. His eyes could adjust to dark easily, and he knew Jaebum’s could as well. They were lucky no peacekeepers patrolled the victors village, no one saw them slip out and away.

“This way,” Jinyoung said as he felt some urgency and they both ran off the path. They had to move carefully since there still snow and ice on the ground. Jinyoung knew when the they reached the forest he could use Jungkook’s light to find the flowers. They made it to the break in the fence but there was a buzzing sound and Jinyoung realized it was no longer broken.

“Wait,” he grabbed Jaebum before he touched it. He picked up a stick from off the ground and tossed it into the wires. There was a cracking sound as it fried. His heart rate increased, the reality of what it meant completely filled him. Something was wrong, more than wrong. The fence had been broken his whole life, before he could even remember. 

Someone had known… they’d known he went out there.

“Shit,” Jaebum said. Jinyoung stared at it wondering what else they could do. Mark needed those flowers and there was no other way into the forest. “I know another way.” Jaebum’s voice interrupted his thoughts.

“How?” Jinyoung questioned, “this was the only break in the fence. I’ve been going my whole life, why would they do this now?” Jaebum shook his head.

“I know but it’s not the only way,” Jaebum replied, “we can skip the fence and walk down past the station along the tracks and into the forest.” That way was dangerous, he knew not to go that way.

“That’ll take us right past the peacekeepers!” Jinyoung declared. Was this worth it when they could keep using snow? They could put themselves at greater risk if they went there.

“It’s the only other way,” Jaebum said, “if we must take that chance we must. Your father was clear, things could get worse without those flowers.” Jinyoung wondered how much worse. He worried for his friends life, and if the only way he could help was to put his own life at risk he would do it.

“Okay,” he said. Jaebum led the way and they set out staying along the fence away from the sight of everyone. The night was cold, he could see each breath he breathed freezing on the air. Winter still had a hold but it wouldn’t for much longer. He looked to Jaebum, and how each one of his breaths was visible in the air as well. He saw the way the elder was attentive to the ground in front of him and watching where they were going. He wondered again how Jaebum knew the way they were about to go. How little he knew about him. How he’d been searching for Jaebum when everything went to hell.

“How do you know this way?” Jinyoung asked him. He wanted another small glimpse into the man beside him. The man who was still just as much of a boy as Jinyoung was, yet who was so assured despite how messy his own past must have been. Jinyoung had always been in awe of him, even when he hated him. When he smiled there was something so beautiful about the way his eyes lit up, there was so much life there. Despite losing his sister, and apparently his parents, nothing had beaten him.

“Simple,” Jaebum began to respond to his question, “try running away a few times as tiny kid and you can learn a lot.” He’d tried to run away? Away from the peacekeepers? Away from the games? Away from his family? What is it Jaebum had been running from?

“Jaebum where are your parents?” Jinyoung thought it best to just be straightforward about the question he wanted to ask. “From what i’ve heard they were loved around here, but no one knows where they are.” Jaebum seemed to stiffen at that question. Jinyoung went silent, he didn’t want to push him if he didn’t want to talk about.

“I’m sorry,” Jaebum said softly. “It’s not easy to talk about. Our life was perfect...” He seemed lost in his thoughts for a moment. “Then my name was drawn.” The words were ominous and Jinyoung knew he was the first person whoever understood what it was Jaebum had gone through. Jaebum didn’t have a mentor. He didn’t have help to get through and when he got back it must have been very lonely for him. He was thankful he had the elder.

“What happened in the games?” He asked next. Jaebum chucked a bit, and Jinyoung saw the expression that Jaebum looked at him with. There was a fondness in his eyes. Jinyoung had noticed it before.

“Easy kid,” Jaebum said, “don’t ask all the questions at once. My story is simple really. The victors are pawns to the Capitol nothing more. They’ll take whatever they need to away to manipulate us. Our bodies, our sanity, our families...” It made Jinyoung think of JYP’s discussion of chess. Maybe Jaebum’s understanding of tactics came from his father’s ability with that game. He still wondered what the elder meant but he didn’t interrupt.

“When I won the games,” Jaebum said, “I was 13 years old, no one expected it. I was rated at a seven and I entered with no allies. I was scared but I knew I could win. When I watched the other kids in training made me confident that they could be beaten. I remember the moment the canon sounded and I ran so hard to get far away from them. I made it to trees, we were in a simple forest which was good for me. It is the traditional kind of arena. I stalked the careers when it began. I ate their leftovers, I collected knifes and supplies they left behind. Then one day they were deep in the forest and I set a fire in three strategic places. I had watched them murder kids for so long it felt right to take them out while they slept.” Jinyoung hadn’t expected something like that.

“I knew all the paths of the water,” Jaebum continued, “I walked in the stream to escape the fire. I got some bad burns but I thought it was worth it when I end when I heard a canon sound for each of them. I played a game no one expected. In the finale I set up a trap for the tributes...” He paused. “I saw the Capitol had released mutts and worked to get the mutts to where the tributes were.” There was a haunted look in his eyes as he paused again. Everything was clearly coming back to him. “It was horrific. I saw everything that happened and I was frightened.” He paused and stopped walking.

"They said I was shaking so badly when they pulled me out that they thought I'd had a seizure," he continued, "I realized pretty quickly afterwards what I'd done. I am a monster..." Jinyoung truly was shocked, but he remembered what Mark said to him. That these things weren't really their fault, nothing they did was their fault. The Capitol was in control but who had let that happen. All of them. All of them willingly were a part of a system where children were forced to kill each other to keep the peace.

"You are no more a monster than I," Jinyoung said with assurance, "we are slaves to a system that we have allowed to continue. You have inspired hope, more than you realize."

"You inspired hope, I did nothing,” Jaebum countered his words.

"Well who inspired me?" Jinyoung asked him, "who convinced me all this was wrong? Who saved me when I wanted to die? That was you. Without you I wouldn't be here." He could see something in the elders eyes, something he saw many times... He never fully understood him, but seeing pieces of his story showed more and more of who he was. Knowing what he brought himself to do to survive, that shed light on the kind of person he was because the regret was all over him. The hatred for the Capitol began in that arena then moment he realized what he’d had to do to survive it.

"You don't have to talk about anymore if you don't want to," Jinyoung told him, he didn’t want to push the elder into reliving things that hurt him. As much as he wanted to know he wanted Jaebum to be okay. He knew how hard it was to see the things that happened in the arena. They came back to him almost every night.

"I should though," Jaebum said, "I know all about your family and your life, yet this whole time I never let you know anything but Jimin and even that happened when I was drunk. And I probably should talk about these things… I’ve never talked about them.” It meant that there had been no one for Jaebum to speak to.

"Then go on if you want to,” Jinyoung said softly. He knew how much words could help. Even when he didn’t want them words were good things. The elder's eyes were sad as if he was reliving his memories.

"When I came home..." Jaebum began again, "I wasn't the same at all. Everyone noticed. I was jumping at shadows and I was scared of animals..." Knowing what he went through it seemed absolutely horrifying. "My parents didn't know what to do with me. I wanted help but they didn’t know what I needed. They were frightened by how I was acting but they didn’t once reach out to help me. And the horrors didn't end there. The Capitol didn't love me like most victors, by all accounts I wasn't supposed to win. No one was rooting for me, I had no mentor and no one from district 12 had ever won before. But some of the more powerful public figures apparently..." he stopped again as if struggling to find the right words. "The president wanted to sell me to them..." Jinyoung wasn’t sure understood the implications and what he thought scared him. 

“Sell you?” Jinyoung asked.

“He wanted me to trade my body away to them,” Jaebum said, “the president profits off using victors as prostitutes…” Jinyoung felt sick, he’d never expected something like that. They’d wanted to do that to Jaebum? He was just a 13 year old kid. 

"I refused,” Jaebum continued, “he threatened me before tour if I didn't give in... So I begged him for one more year, that when I was a mentor in my own district after a year I would meet his demands..." Jaebum's heart was heavy. "A year passed, and I begged again. He was very angry but seemingly gave in." Jinyoung found his eyes were crying... "Another year passed, in my third year as mentor my sister..." he stopped again. "I was on the train waiting for them and I didn't know my sister had been reaped. When I walked to meet the tributes I fell apart. I knew it was all my fault. His threat was real."

Jinyoung felt his anguish and could only imagine the pain he must have felt in that moment. He didn’t know if he could handle it if Youngjae was reaped again and he was forced to mentor him. He’d probably just die.

"He told me if I gave in my sister would live," the elder was crying as he continued. Jinyoung reached to grab his hand and Jaebum continued, "So I did, I told him I would do whatever he wanted me too... But he told me that no one cared about me anymore. He told me no one was interested in a has been. He told me my sister's death would be my fault, and I did everything I could for her. I gave it everything I had but she wasn't a fighter. She wasn't made for the arena." Jinyoung put his arms around the elder and Jaebum leaned into him.

"The day she died..." he said, "Yang came to see me... He told me these were the consequences for my defiance, and that no other tribute from 12 would ever win. That I could never do enough or be enough for them." Jinyoung knew that was false because here he was, right beside him. He was Jaebum's first victory, proof that the president was wrong. But Jaebum’s story wasn’t over and what Jinyoung heard next hurt worse.

“But words didn’t hurt,” Jaebum said, “what hurt the most is he went to my parents. He told them I was a monster, they already hated me for Jimin’s death. He told me things that made them hate me even more. He offered them a chance to move districts and they agreed.” Jinyoung didn’t understand why his parents would leave him. After what he’d been through he’d needed them and they’d walked away. It reminded him of his father after his mother had died, but even in the darkest moment his father had clung to them. Even in their worst times he’d done what he could to pull himself out. Sure Jinyoung blamed him for what he’d done, but he knew things could have been worse.

“I heard it was one,” Jaebum said, “I heard they chose to move to district one. That they chose luxury over their own son, who was too broken for them to want to even try to fix.”

“They didn’t deserve you,” Jinyoung responded, tears were in his own eyes. He didn’t understand why anyone wouldn’t want Jaebum. He was so strong. He’d been Jinyoung’s rock, his strength and everything he was… Jinyoung admired him. Jinyoung knew what he felt for Jaebum was strong, things he didn’t even fully understand but he was willing to be patient to learn.

“You can say that but you don’t know what it’s like to have such a horrible person as your child...” Jaebum breathed the words out. Jinyoung really didn’t want him to believe that about himself.

“You’re not a horrible person Jaebum,” Jinyoung responded, “you’re the best of us. What you went through would break anyone else. You were an ass when I met you and still are sometimes…” The elder laughed a bit. Jinyoung smiled through his tears. “Jaebum what you do inspires people to be better to do better. You never lost yourself even with what you endured. You’re the strongest person I know. You’re principles changed me. I just wanted to go home but you made me realize what mattered. You saved my life in more ways than one and you have helped to save Mark as well now. You’re goodness is of the most inspiring things in this country. You are more than what the Capitol tried to make you into, so much more.”

They stopped walking, Jaebum looked at him. His eyes settled back into that look of fondness Jinyoung was starting to know well. Jinyoung wanted to reach and wipe the tears from his eyes. To reach for him and chase it all away but Jaebum wiped his own tears and nodded to Jinyoung. 

“Thank you Jinyoung-ah,” Jaebum said. Jinyoung was about to say something else when Jaebum continued. “Thank you for living. For coming back to me.” And Jinyoung understood why that was everything to him. After facing everything on his own, he wasn’t alone anymore. To a man who lost everyone, having someone there was everything. His past explained why he did everything he could to help Jinyoung on his return. He finally had a victor, someone by his side.

“You won’t ever have to be alone again,” Jinyoung replied, “you’ll always have me.” They continued walking, hand in hand. There was a warmth between them, something Jinyoung had noticed growing. Something he wanted to understand. 

“We’re almost there now,” Jaebum said softly, “we can talk further once we reach the woods.” Jinyoung nodded and followed Jaebum’s lead. They crept past the barracks towards the train station. The place was eerily deserted. People probably didn’t often come this way for any reason.

It was actually much simpler than Jinyoung had expected. Slipping into the train station then down onto the tracks. There was a fence on either side but he could see it’s end further down. They would have to walk quietly for awhile so they wouldn’t alert anyone they were thereThey walked on the metal of the tracks and not the gravel because no matter how lightly they could step it was noisy.

Jinyoung followed Jaebum’s lead, he had after all done this before. He had tried to run away before. Jinyoung’s heart hurt now knowing the elders pain. He understood why he was told one year he spent the entire games drinking. Why when he did drink it went too far, like when Jinyoung and Sana had found him on the roof. Why he was such an ass to tributes because if he cared Yang would make sure the lost. Yang took everything away from him and tore him apart but he was stronger than what Yang had done to him..

Jaebum had taken something back for himself completely. He knew Jinyoung would get out, his declaration to Yang was he cared because he wanted Yang to know when Jinyoung came back that he had beat him. Yang couldn’t just kill Jinyoung, Jaebum had set the game for him. How though? He had more questions for the elder. Many more about their past and their future. Something was in the atmosphere and charged to come. He knew Jaebum could feel it and that the elder knew what it was, the elder always knew what was coming before it arrived. Jinyoung realized he was learning to read Jaebum like Jaebum read him and it was something he found exciting.

The walked carefully on the tracks, he could tell Jaebum was listening for something. Probably for a train, to hear if one would be coming down the tracks. It wasn't a particularly long walk but it was one that was treacherous & narrow. It was dangerous like everything they did together. But Jinyoung wouldn’t choose to face that danger with anyone else but Jaebum beside him. They made it to the edge of the fence and Jaebum turned to the forest. The dark of night was lit up by a half moon in the sky and the stars that night shined bright staring down at them as if to guide their way. They walked into the forest, a canopy cover of darkness was over them.

Jinyoung knew it was time, he moved the watch on his wrist in sequence and a bright light showed them the way. They found a couple flowers and walked in search for more. His father hadn't been specific with how many they needed but they were small so he assumed that they should fill up the whole basket. They worked together to find and pick them.

"Jaebum," he said to get the elder's attention again. Jaebum looked at him and probably knew he had more questions coming. "You never told me why you were so confident I would get out. Yang took everything from you and you wanted him to know you cared for me to defy him when I made it. How could you have known?" It probably would have bothered him more for months, he had thought of it. He had simply accepted it. He hadn't wanted to confront anything that happened, he just wanted to forget all of it. But they could never forget what was behind, they could only try to move on from it.

"I didn't know for sure,” Jaebum replied, "I had a plan, one that was set to protect you and give you every chance to win. Ranged weapon mastery is the most dangerous skill in the games, everyone knows that. Hearing you could use a bow well set my plan. You were the first who had an actual good chance to win. No one else I mentored had ever had a chance, so finding someone who did, that was something I wanted to leverage. I wanted the president to feel it when I finally beat him. I truthfully spent the time I did with you to get you so confused by it that your reaction would fit and that was wrong of me. I’m sorry for that.” Jinyoung just nodded, he’d forgiven Jaebum long before

“It worked in the end,” Jaebum said, "so did my plan to have Sana be basically a knife in the dark. No one suspected she would make it past day 1, much less steal a weapon from a pack of careers." He smiled as he remembered her, Jinyoung knew he had wanted her to survive as well. Jinyoung had been a mess when he’d lost her as well. "The other part of my plan did not go the way I expected.” He paused as if weighing the effect his words would have. And Jinyoung began to feel exactly what it was.

"Jungkook," Jinyoung responded, "that's who was unexpected?" He knew without the boy he would have died, he wouldn’t have made it past Minho and the careers with how they’d been specifically hunting him.

"Jungkook was always an important part of the plan," Jaebum replied, "Minho was the one who almost wrecked it. Though truthfully Jungkook did not stay where he was supposed to be." Jaebum looked very sad.

"What do you mean?" Jinyoung asked. Jungkook was beside him almost the whole time.

"Well first I didn't expect you to trust Minho after I basically told you not to accept that alliance. I felt horrible because I knew I should have been more clear with you,” he stated. “When you said no the first time I thought we were in the clear. What happened with Jungkook was different than it was supposed to go. I made a deal with Namjoon. The deal was I would get Jungkook out if he watched over you from a distance. I believed I could get any two of you out if you just stayed alive. Jungkook was supposed to bide his time and basically keep harm away from you while Sana worked to get the bow to you." Jinyoung knew the rest.

"And Jungkook was too afraid," Jinyoung replied tears filling his eyes as he remembered the child's face in the cave. The way he had been so scared. The way he trusted Jinyoung. He was never going to stay at a distance though he did try to keep harm away from Jinyoung. He put himself between Jinyoung and death without a second of hesitation.

"He did everything he could in the end," Jaebum said, "he was amazing. I would have changed everything to do whatever I could to save him. I wish I had told you about Sana's role from the beginning. I didn't know how but I would have done anything to bring you all home.”

"I don't blame you for anything," Jinyoung replied, "you know that right? I never blamed you. You did all you could." He had thrown out his chance to blame a long time ago. He wanted Jaebum to remember always that nothing that happened was his fault. Even if he had ideas about how to get them all out, the rules of the game forbade it. There could only be one winner, regretting what was past was pointless. He needed to learn that as well.

"I know," Jaebum said, "but I still failed them, and I can't stop thinking of the changes I could have made to fix it.”

"It's past," Jinyoung said, "you know that."

"But we can learn from the past," Jaebum replied, "to avoid making the same mistakes in the future." Jinyoung wondered what future he could be preparing for. What was it that the Capitol was doing, cracking down on the districts and making everything worse.

"Is something about to happen?" Jinyoung asked him, "something horrible?" He needed to him.

"Of course it is Jinyoung," Jaebum replied with a heaviness in his voice, "Yang knows everything, He will retaliate but it's more than just me and you. He will try to break everyone again to bring things back under his control. The unrest has spread more than ever, and if he doesn’t do something big things will grow out of his control. He’s not stupid, he knows what it is you did on tour and he’s ready to put things back into line with what he wants.”

"How?" Jinyoung asked. He wasn't sure what the President could do, things had escalated beyond what they had expected. Jaebum clearly had some idea of what the President was planning

"This year you know is the 75th year of the games," Jaebum said, "in two weeks the Capitol will open a vault and find the rules for this years quarter quell." Jinyoung knew what that was, his parents often talked of how horrible the last one had. They had doubled the number of children reaped. The quarter quell was a special game that took place every 25 years. The Capitol would introduce new rules to make things more brutal and more entertaining in celebration of the games. The time before had been 48 tributes instead of 24. More children dead. 

"I believe he will use the quarter quell to try and break all talks of rebellion," Jaebum said, "I'm not sure exactly how but I have suspicions." Jinyoung wondered what the president could possibly pull to make things worse. He wondered if perhaps doubling the number of tributes again would only cause more unrest and mayhem.

"What suspicions?" Jinyoung asked, “what could he actually do?” 

"I'd rather not say them out lout,” Jaebum replied. They found more flowers as they walked. “I do know things are about to escalate, there are rumors of rebel sympathizers in the Capitol. Also rumors of an army being prepared by the Capitol to quench the rebellion should things go sideways. We are outgunned if he makes a move soon.”

"How do you hear this stuff?" Jinyoung asked. Jaebum seemed so sure of what he was talking about, like he had insiders feeding him information.

"I can't tell you," Jaebum responded, "it's top secret." There was a smirk in his eyes that drove Jinyoung crazy

"That's not fair," Jinyoung said slightly shoving the elder

"Are you going to ignore me for 2 weeks over it?" Jaebum asked him.

"Maybe," Jinyoung said with a glare. Jinyoung wondered if anything could survive this cruel world, he would bet a thousand times they could together. He didn’t push him to tell anymore. Jaebum had shared a lot with him, more than he’d expected. He felt his own fondness for the elder. He understood him so much more knowing the things he’d been through. They gathered plenty and began their walk back. This time they were much quieter, both lost in thought from the many things they had discussed. they made it to the fence when Jaebum grabbed his arm. 

"I think a train is coming," he said. Jinyoung listened. He heard nothing.

“How do you know?" Jinyoung asked, "do they come past dark?"

"Yes they do," he said, "you can feel it on the wind, those trains move fast." 

"Then what should we do?" They were already gone a long time, and if a train came that would bring peacekeeper attention. Jinyoung was tired and he knew there had to be a way to get back. 

"There's got to be another way," Jinyoung said, "waiting isn't an option, we need to get this back for Mark now." Jaebum nodded. They’d already been gone a long time.

"Let's go along he fence from the trees," he said, "maybe there is a tree with an overhanging branch we can climb and go to the other side." Jinyoung smiled.

"That's what I was thinking," Jinyoung said. Such a method wouldn't work coming from the other side because there were no trees near the fence but it was the only other thing they could do. They couldn't risk being caught in a mess of peacekeepers who would be guarding whatever supplies were coming in. It could take all night to wait it out and it would only get colder outside. So they walked through the forest along the fence line but still hidden by the trees. It was then that Jinyoung realized it was the best time to talk to the elder about the game piece in his pocket. But still something held him back, something he didn't want to know. He was almost scared to know what the elder would make of it.

They were quiet as they moved, there was an ease in the silence, and shared a joy on their faces when they faces when they found what they needed. Jinyoung climbed across the branch first and dropped down carefully, then Jaebum followed. They were in the clear and headed back towards their homes. When they made it back to the house Jinyoung’s father looked very tired but he took the flowers and began to work. Mark was still awake. He looked so pale.

“What took you so long?” Mark asked them.

“A problem,” Jinyoung said, “they closed the fence and they turned it on.” Mark’s face looked horrified.

“We’ll have to find other ways through,” Jinyoung said, “like tonight we had to sneak out to the train tracks.”

“Without the forest,” Mark said, “my family could starve.”

“We won’t let that happen,” Jinyoung responded. And he wouldn’t. His family had plenty of food since he’d won the games. He would make sure Mark and his family were okay.

“But...” Mark said.

“No,” Jinyoung replied, “we’ll be here. I promise. Whatever you need I’m here, just like you were for me.” They had been best friends since they were children, since Jinyoung lost his mom. Since he wandered alone begging for scraps to feed his brother. If Mark hadn’t found him, hadn’t taken care of him he would have died. The elder had helped him survive when everything was hopeless. When his father shut down Mark was the one who saved him. When Youngjae cried because his hunger pains kept growing. Mark helped him fend for himself in a cruel world. There was no way he would ever let Mark do this on his own. They were family, brothers. They would always help each other survive. That was the truth. 

That night Jinyoung stayed up with him and his father the rest of the night. Jaebum stayed as well but he fell asleep on the couch next to Youngjae. Jinyoung was glad to have him there.

He was glad all the important people in his life were learning to get along. He was glad that the pieces of himself that were so jagged and broken could find a way to fit together. It was a moment Jinyoung felt hope deeper than he had before. Just knowing the people he loved were around him and and always would be made him feel at peace. He would do whatever he could to protect them. Anything. His everything was his family. And every single person in his house that night was family to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is one of my favorites, it's such a good moment for both of them.
> 
> Jinyoung really needed to have a long talk with Jaebum. 
> 
> The next chapter is called "Nowhere to Run," what will happen when the quarter quell is announced?
> 
> Please comment and let me know what you think. Thank you for your responses so far, they mean the world to me.


	8. Nowhere To Run

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Quarter Quell is announced.

Jinyoung woke to Jaebum’s hand running through his hair. He kept his eyes closed as he became aware of it, the way the elders fingers moved against the locks on his head. The way his fingers gently ran across his scalp. For a moment he was sure he forgot how to breathe. His eyes fluttered open and met Jaebum’s gaze.

There were things they hadn’t talked about, things that happened… He looked at the way the elder was looking at him, he shivered slightly and would say over and over that it was from the cold.

He closed his eyes and moved back in Jaebum’s arms just a little. His body had already responded to the feeling of Jaebum’s hands on him. He could feel that he’d gotten a little too excited. It had happened before, it was completely normal for it to occasionally happen in the mornings. It had happened to Jaebum too, usually those mornings he would wake up with Jaebum turned away from him and not holding him so close..

Still he had a gut feeling it had more to do with how Jaebum’s hand rested on his lower back, and his other hand still ran through his hair… that thought was… Jinyoung flushed, the thought didn’t help the situation in any way, it made things worse. 

“I gotta go,” Jinyoung mumbled, as he moved his head away from where Jaebum had it but Jaebum kept a firm hand against his back.

“Stay,” Jaebum said softly. Jinyoung swallowed as his eyes met Jaebum’s again. He was gazing at him so intently, Jinyoung’s skin felt a bit hot. Attraction… that was something he hadn’t had time to dwell on, hadn’t wanted to push too far into. He didn’t want to be selfish with their relationship. Jaebum had given him so much, he didn’t want to keep taking.

“I have to go,” Jinyoung said again differently as he shifted back a bit more and tried to turn away. Jaebum’s hand ran from his back to his side, Jinyoung felt him shift them both closer together. He was sure in those seconds that Jaebum could understand why he was trying to get away but Jaebum didn’t move to separate them. He didn’t just let Jinyoung go, and Jinyoung was getting more uncomfortable with how the elders hands were on him

Jinyoung was embarrassed as he pushed his hands between them to keep some distance and buried his head in Jaebum’s chest. He took deep breaths and tried to get his body under control, if the elder was aware he didn’t say anything but his hands didn’t move either. Jinyoung pushed Jaebum away a bit more, he could feel Jaebum stiffen a bit.

Jinyoung wanted to leave, he needed to get out.

“Please,” Jinyoung said softly, his voice sounded pained and he hadn’t intended it, “I’ve got to go.” Jaebum’s hands were off him in seconds and Jinyoung quickly got out of bed and walked towards the door.

“Goodbye Jinyoung,” Jaebum said, his voice soft, husky from where he was laying. Jinyoung almost turned around to look at him but he flushed again, too embarrassed.

“Bye,” he said sort as he walked out of the room then rushed out of the house. He was nervous about running into his dad and Youngjae.

When he got into his own house he rushed up to his room and laid on his bed. He buried his face in his pillow and tried to will it to go away. His thoughts turned towards spring, how the flowers were beginning to bloom in the meadows. How the snow had melted completely, and how the days had blended together.

He thought of his family, his brother and Mark. Mark had recovered well. Things were good. He knew he was tense from how peaceful things had been, he didn’t want to be so tense. 

“Jinyoung?” He heard his brother call out towards his room, “are you home.” Jinyoung pulled his blanket over him and closed his eyes. He wanted to be left alone, to appear asleep even though he was still just trying to get his body to calm down. He’d noticed that there were things about how Jaebum touched him that were getting a bit more intimate. He also realized that it was clearly apparent that he liked those things, he just had been trying his best to ignore them. Their friendship was important to him, he wasn’t sure what he wanted. He had a lot going on in his head.

He heard his door open, he kept his breathing even and steady as Youngjae opened the door. He could hear the younger boy’s footsteps and he kept his eyes glued shut.

“Jinyoung?” Youngjae whispered. He kept up the act that he was asleep and he heard Youngjae’s soft footsteps leave the room and the door closed.

“He’s asleep,” he heard Youngjae say.

“Okay,” he heard the voice of his father, “go to school Youngjae, everything will be alright.” Jinyoung was curious as to what his father was talking about.

“You’ll be here all day?” Youngjae asked him.

“Yeah,” he heard his father's voice, “I’ll be here little one.” His voice sounded so soft, so tender with Youngjae. Jinyoung felt something, like a pain in his heart or a stab of jealousy. His father had never spoken to him with a tone of voice like it in his life. Him and his father had a difficult relationship. It was painful, hard for him to ever understand. He felt some tears in his eyes, as he thought of it.

They slipped down his face. One thing in his life he never understood, why his father had nearly walked away, why he’d stopped caring for them. Why he wouldn’t even look at Jinyoung for months after his mother died. He resented him, didn’t feel that the older man deserved anything from him but he couldn’t help how his heart hurt with how distant they were. He couldn’t help but wonder if his father had ever loved him.

Those thoughts were exhausting as they stuck in his mind and he realized the really uncomfortable feeling between his legs was at least gone. He listened for more words but heard none, he pulled his blanket closer around himself and closed his eyes. It was better to sleep away how confusing his life was than to dwell on it any longer.

\- - - - -

Jinyoung awoke when the sun was high in the sky, his body felt exhausted still but he got out of his bed anyways. He slipped down the stairs to his house and didn’t see anyone there. He walked into the kitchen to get something to eat. 

Something seemed off in the air, he wasn’t sure what. Maybe the change of season was getting to him, he was shaking slightly but it wasn’t particularly cold. He wondered if he could convince Mark to stay over with him that night. His friend had become better and helping him with his panic attacks, and Jinyoung was grateful to him for being so patient. He was happy Mark and his family had come around to Jaebum.

He realized why he felt so off when he got food out. He remembered Jaebum saying it the night before.

The Quarter Quell announcement would be happening that day.

The thought instantly filled him with fear, with dread. He wasn’t sure why it was so frightening. They couldn’t do anything to him to hurt him, he was safe and he would be a mentor. Just something about that day, he knew it meant something. He’d be a mentor. He’d be okay. They’d be okay. Jaebum would be there with him.

He wasn’t sure what it was, why it felt so ominous. Maybe… maybe that was because this would be the Capitol’s real chance to destroy any thoughts of rebellion. Whatever it was that was happening he knew it was going to be huge.

He remembered his father saying something about being there but he didn’t see the old man anywhere. He looked towards the viewing screen, he wondered if the announcement had happened already or if it was still to come. His heart rate sped up as he moved to turn it on. He wasn’t sure he should watch it, maybe it would be better for him to go back to sleep and forget it. He switched it on and turned away back towards the food he was preparing. He heard the voices on screen, talking about the Quarter Quell and the Quarter Quells that came before. 

They hadn’t announced yet.

He looked towards the screen, afraid of what was about to happen. He didn’t know why it was so overwhelming when nothing had been said. He looked towards the hall and the staircase in his house. No one came down and he was convinced his father probably wasn’t there even if he said he’d be there. He understood now why Youngjae had asked, his younger brother hadn’t wanted him to be alone. Of course his father couldn’t even keep his word to the son he actually loved.

Jinyoung knew he probably should shut it off, turn it off and forget about it. He was about to walk towards the set to do just that when he realized they were pulling the card from the box. All the rules of the hunger games were kept in a box along with instructions for every quarter quell, laid out by the people who ruled the nation 75 years before. They had plans to keep the games going for hundreds of years. 

They were ready to read it, Jinyoung knew he should turn it off but he couldn’t. He couldn’t move as he watched it. The man on screen looked down out the card and began to read out loud...

“For the third Quarter Quell, the one that falls in the 75th year of the annual Hunger Games the tributes will be reaped from the existing pool of victors…” 

His heart stopped…

“...regardless of gender.” 

He couldn’t breathe.

“... if a district can not call upon at least two victors four children will be chosen in their place...”

His world stopped he fell to his knees his heart sputtering everything shook. He needed to get out. He needed to run. He needed to get out. He felt blind panic filling him as the reality seized his whole being. He stumbled towards the door, his hands reached to hold onto the wall to stay upright as the realization shook him to his core. The sound was still on. The voices were still speaking.

“Every District has at least 2,” the voice said, “this should be the greatest games...”

He fell again and put his hands over his ears, he wished that he could tear them out and make it stop. He couldn’t get out, he couldn’t stop it. He pushed to continue on to get out of his house. Out of the house that was supposed to represent his victory… a promise that he was supposed to be free… 

It was all a lie

“Jinyoung!” He heard his name as he successfully got out the door of his house. He stumbled to the ground as he almost fell down the stairs off his porch. He was shaking, breathing fast as he couldn't hold it in. Tears filled his eyes, he was frightened and he felt like he was suffocating from how quickly he was breathing.

He couldn’t go to the games, he couldn't go. He wouldn’t go. He couldn’t do it again, he couldn’t handle it again, he couldn’t lose again. He wanted to run away. He wanted to scream. He wanted to burn them all down and run forever. But there was nowhere left to run. They were fenced in. They would be forced into it no matter what they wanted.

And Jaebum…

He would be forced to go back, Jaebum would be forced to go back. 

That was their punishment.

He knew the elder was there, he felt Jaebum’s arms come around him as the elder pulled him close and held onto him. Clarity was coming through the haze but everything hurt so much and he couldn’t breathe. Maybe it would be easier if he suffocated, maybe it would be easier if it all ended… Maybe at least then Jaebum would be safe… 

He sobbed, everything inside him broke apart. All the pieces he had worked so hard to put back together shattered. He’d started to get better, he’d just started getting better. They would be forced back in, everything he had with Jaebum… They would both be forced on and only one could come out.

Only one. He sobbed as he didn’t fight the panic.

Yang hadn’t been making idle threats. Yang’s eyes at the banquet had been clear. 

The man wouldn’t let Jinyoung get out again, and he wouldn’t let Jaebum get out either. Jinyoung knew that was the outcome that the President would order for them, they had no chance. He couldn’t lose Jaebum.

Jinyoung knew it was all his fault. It was all happening because of his defiance. Because of his fight. This had all happened because of him, and he would lose everything...

He didn’t want words, he didn’t want to give words. People wanted words, he didn’t want them anymore. He wanted to stay in silence in Jaebum’s arms barely breathing, away from the games and away from the things that haunted him. He felt another set of arms and knew Mark had come as well. Mark came to hold on to them.

A smaller pair of arms came around his waist. Time slowed as they all held onto him. They all were there.

His father came upon the scene. His child being held by Jaebum, Mark and Youngjae as they all faced the reality that their fear began again…

Everything had changed.

\- - - - -

Mark had been working.

He’d been in the mines working hard in the darkness most of the morning. The mine shafts were dangerous, there were cave-in’s too often and he never quite felt safe when he was working deep.

A bell was rung and they all got into the lift to be taken up for a change in which crew was going to be working. Mark leaned against the lift, his body was sore. They’d been given a difficult work load for that week without any increase in pay, they didn’t have a choice because they wouldn’t get paid if they didn’t meet their demands.

Mark had been tired and excited about taking a break to eat and drink some water. He sat down out in the sunlight, he liked to enjoy as much of it as he could before he would be sent back down. He’d been having a peaceful afternoon when he heard a couple people talking about the Quarter Quell. His sister would be up for the reaping again, he had been nervous about the upcoming event in the Hunger Games but he hadn’t realized it had already been announced.

He’d leaned back and listened a bit closer.

That was when he heard it.

The tributes were being reaped from the existing pool of victors.

That meant… Jinyoung and Jaebum.  
At that moment nothing had mattered except running, except getting to the Victors Village and to his friend. He took off running. The sore muscles in his body didn’t matter. All he could think about was how long it had been since the announcement, if Jinyoung knew, what it meant. Everything filled him with such dread and sorrow.

The Capitol couldn’t do that, they couldn’t send Jinyoung in again. He was shaking as he ran, he couldn’t watch Jinyoung go through it again. He couldn’t sit around at home just waiting, feeling useless, like he could do nothing to stop it. It was all happening again.

There was no question this time, no guesswork to approaching the reaping. The Capitol knew, the president knew. He wanted them to die, he wanted them both to die. Mark had never run faster in his life and when he got there he saw Jaebum and Jinyoung still in the middle of the road, They were on the ground crying, holding on to each other. He felt like his whole heart was breaking, he’d never seen Jaebum cry, never once seen the other boys strength falter for a moment.

He looked broken, they both looked so broken. He rushed to them and threw his arms around them. He wanted to hold on to them, to keep them both in place. To keep them both safe and the reality that he could do nothing was so overwhelming to him. Tears fell from his eyes. 

Everything around him was spinning.

He heard it when Youngjae arrived, his small footsteps and he turned and saw the younger with tears streaming down his face. 

Mark didn’t know how long they all stayed pressed together, all crying, all broken. It had to be a long time, but it didn’t feel like it was very long.

Jinyoung’s father had come, he had stood a ways off from them all but Mark saw him. He saw him watching them and he saw the tears the man was trying so hard to hold in. They all knew what was going on. Mark was the first to separate from them, he wasn’t sure what to do. He sat in the dirt for a moment and Youngjae followed letting go of his brother.

Jinyoung and Jaebum had stopped crying, Jinyoung leaned into the elder and wouldn’t let go. Mark felt a tinge of jealousy for how close the two had become, closer than any of them had expected in such a short time. Jaebum leaned back with Jinyoung in his arms and Mark saw him realize that Jinyoung wasn’t going to let go. Jaebum looked at all of them and Mark nodded to him. He lifted Jinyoung up and stood up and walked towards his home. He would watch over Jinyoung, help him through like none of them could.

Mark reached over to hug Youngjae, the younger boy looked so frightened but he couldn’t say anything to make it better. He felt so useless.

“Come on,” he heard Youngmin’s voice and the older man held his hands out to help them up. He put arms around them both and led them into Jinyoung’s house. They all sat together, not many words were said until Youngjae fell asleep.

Youngmin carried him to his bed and walked back down. Mark curled into the corner of one of the couches, the older man lit a fire. 

When Jinyoung was away Mark had checked up on his family every day and when Jinyoung came back Mark had kept doing so. Jinyoung had never had a good relationship with his father, and Mark understood some of the reasons behind it but he also began to see much more than he had when Jinyoung’s family was just distant from him. 

Jinyoung’s father had really changed from when they were young. The way he cared for Youngjae when Jinyoung was gone showed how far he had come from the drunken man Mark remembered from when he was just a child. He had stepped back up in the role he belonged in, and Mark realized how much he did love his sons. He didn’t like that Jinyoung never seemed to understand that. Youngmin was difficult but he did a lot of what he did out of love.

“How are you?” Youngmin asked him as the older man sat down beside him.

“I feel useless,” Mark said honestly. His relationship with the older man had been tentative at first but he found an ally in him when trying to deal with Jinyoung and Jaebum’s growing attachment to each other. Mark realized because he lost his own parents finding someone older to confide in filled a bit of a hole in his life.

“I understand,” Youngmin said softly, “it’s easy to feel that way, what this is… it’s…” He trailed off, Mark saw a broken expression in his eyes, he looked like he was trying to figure so much out himself.

Of course he was.

His son who he loved was about to be taken away from him again. This time the game was going to be rigged against him, there was no question about it that the President had plans. Jinyoung had changed things, maybe unintentionally but he had changed things. Everyone knew it, they felt it and willingly allowed themselves to be carried away with hope that everything could and would change.

It was a fool’s hope, but he’d rather be a fool that to give up on ever being free.

“Jinyoung could still come home,” Mark said softly. That was something that scared him, because he knew the rules of the game. Only one could return. If either of the boys came back the one that did would likely be broken beyond their help. If neither of them came back…

Mark wasn’t sure he could handle a world where Jinyoung didn’t come home again and he knew Jinyoung couldn’t handle a world where he lived and Jaebum didn’t. He beat himself up so much for a kid and a girl he barely knew, how much more would he tear himself apart if he lost someone he loved? Maybe that was why Youngmin had disliked Jaebum, because Jinyoung had so quickly grown so dependent on him.

“He will come home,” Youngmin responded, his voice wavered a bit. Mark wondered if it was something he was trying to convince himself of. Youngmin turned to meet Mark’s gaze. “Jinyoung will be coming back, and when he does I think… it will be up to us to show him he’s not alone. He doesn’t listen to me, I know that’s on me and it’s my fault but…” Mark waited for what he was going to say. He clenched his fists and Mark noticed it. “When we get him back we need to be ready to fight for him, promise me you’ll be ready Mark.” 

His words were spoken with such conviction that tears filled Mark’s eyes. He really believed it, he believed Jinyoung was coming home…

“I promise,” Mark said, and he knew what it was Youngmin was saying. If Jinyoung came home he was coming back alone and in that case they would be fighting for his life.

\- - - - -

Jaebum easily was able to see that Jinyoung didn't want everyone around him. That the younger was hurting too much to handle his family and processing everything that was happening. Jaebum’s heart hurt as he realized he couldn’t do anything to make things better, the reality of it was too sharp like a knife cutting deep. One could pull it out but the result was only that they would bleed out in pain. 

Jinyoung was asleep. He’d cried a long time, said over and over that he couldn’t lose Jaebum… Jaebum hated it. He hated watching the younger processing and trying to find a way out of the mess they were in when there was no way out. He’d had expected something big to happen with the Quarter Quell, and when it was announced that moment it was his worst fears coming to life before his eyes. 

He’d known that Jinyoung's win had given them absolute ability to take two victors from every district for a games. They could easily wipe away the need to take a boy and a girl, but he’d hoped that stipulation would keep his fears from becoming a reality. He’d been all too right about the possibilities, and that didn’t make things any easier for him to handle it. He’d been a mess crying out in the road as well. It would be a bloodbath, a complete nightmare. Twenty-three former victors who were hardened killers and Jinyoung who had won the games without taking a life.

He knew the game they were about to be playing and how he had to be the one to try and hold everything into place. They couldn’t win the games on their own, not this time. 

He pulled open the drawer of his nightstand to look at the game piece that he’d been handed in the Capitol. The game was set long before the announcement had been made, and JYP’s words had given him enough indication to know that things were about to escalate. Sixteen of them would have to be prepared to fight a battle against the entire government. Sixteen against armies.

He knew a bit of what the plan was, but not enough for his comfort. They wouldn’t be alone, others would be fighting for it. Not everything had been fully decided but there were a few that he knew would stand by their sides in what was to come.

So much was in flux. So much could change based on who was reaped. Who was to say they would begin the board with 16 ready to go? They would have to make sure they knew who were their allies and who were their enemies. He knew who he could count on the most and those people were their friends from District 5. The only ones he was sure of were Namjoon, Yoongi and Seokjin. That was almost all he had worked out, but he had assumptions for several others. 

He would need to work out the full picture before the cannon sounded, that was his role after all. In his hands was the piece that mattered for the fight ahead. He would have to arrange the others around Jinyoung as a wall to keep him safe. He would have to be the one to see all the threats afar and destroy them before they could get to close. In his hands was a white marble queen, the piece that would destroy their enemies.

He knew who exactly held the king. He had seen Jinyoung grabbing something in his pockets. The younger had hid it well but Jaebum knew. The only certainty in the game was that Jinyoung and Jaebum would be on the board. The only certainty was that Jinyoung mattered the most and Jaebum was but someone there to defend him.

Whoever their defense on the outside would know to protect them. The game would soon be completely set. 

Their objective would be to get their king to safety. Set the phoenix free. Break out and set them all on fire. For Jinyoung was the symbol of the rebellion, the only one who could unite all the districts and put an end to the games for good.

When the districts were united, they would destroy their enemies. Jinyoung would have an army at his back. Jinyoung would be the one to lead them, to save them all. No one else mattered. Jaebum knew that, he didn't matter either in the grand scheme of things. The game would end with Jinyoung just as it had began. He wished it could be different but Jinyoung was all they had left.

In the months he had gotten to know the boy, and in his heart he didn’t want to put him through what was ahead. But there was no turning back from what was to come, no chance to change it. He wanted Jinyoung to live and this seemed to be the only way. Even if it hurt, even if it meant he had to sacrifice everything he would as long as Jinyoung lived.

He put the piece away. He would have to wait patiently for things to fall together. However long it took he would help put Jinyoung back together. He had known from the beginning that was all he could do. He had known for a long time that it would come down to this. He was just glad they weren't alone.

He was glad that whatever came, whatever darkness they faced they would find their allies. They would be surrounded by 14 others all brought together. 

Even if his life was forfeit he would do everything to end everything and to save Jinyoung. To save the only family he had left. 

He would do everything because he loved Jinyoung and that was all he was certain of.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Big moment. This chapter has changed a lot from it's original draft.
> 
> The next chapter is called "Together" for Jinyoung and Jaebum have each other and that's what really matters in what's ahead.
> 
> Please comment and let me know what you think.
> 
> Thanks to all who have commented.


	9. Together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaebum and Jinyoung are reaped for the Hunger Games and Jaebum gives Jinyoung the run down on all their potential allies and enemies.

Reaping day came.

The weeks went by too fast. Jinyoung felt like time had sped up, like it was running faster than before and there was nothing he could do to slow it down. He couldn't help the countdown in his head, he couldn't stop the dreadful feeling of horrid anticipation that filled him. He wanted out. There was no plan he could make, it was futile to try.

Jinyoung woke up crying that morning, terrified with his body shaking. His face pressed to Jaebum’s chest as the elder comforted him and spoke soft words in his ear. They stayed at Jinyoung’s house close to his family, where he could say goodbye to them. Where he could hold on to them. Mark and Youngjae didn’t want to let go but the knew they had to, when the peacekeepers came for them.

Jinyoung’s father didn’t hug him, he just looked at him with sad eyes and told him to come home again. Both Jinyoung and Jaebum were pulled from the house and Jinyoung nearly panicked when he realized what was happening. They were being treated like prisoners, their arms were bound. Jaebum told him to stay calm, that it would all be okay and that they’d be together. He looked back to see Youngjae and Mark crying, and his father holding on to both of them.

Jinyoung and Jaebum were brought into the town and into the government building. There they were given grey jumpsuits to dress in, and Jinyoung was just glad they weren’t separated. They were kept together and their hands were free when they were brought out to the stage to look out on the people of the district.

The entirety of the district gathered as was customary. The children all in the same place even if they were safe for that year. Jinyoung looked down in their faces to find a reason to feel a bit better about what was happening. His eyes settled down on Youngjae’s face amongst the younger children. He could see tears in his brothers eyes, he had to be strong for the younger boy, he had to find some sort of strength to face what was in front of him. Even though he only felt like breaking down.

There would be no name drawing. There was no point to try to draw names. They would both be announced as tributes then taken away. There was no guesswork, just absolute knowledge that they had no way out. As the only victors they defaulted as the tributes for their district. At least they were together, that was the thought that kept him standing but also the thought that broke his heart. He wasn’t going in with any plans to come home, because he wanted Jaebum to get out, he wanted them both to get out. It was foolish to hope for it.

The ceremony went as it had each year of his live. The Capitol’s people played a video about why they had the hunger games, the same one that played every year. The only difference was that it was followed up by a video about the quarter quell which was followed by Hani’s introduction. She looked solemn as she walked on and her voice held none of its usual cheer.

“And now we will introduce your tributes from district 12...” She paused when she got to it, her voice was emotional. Jinyoung never really understood her but he had seen it in her eyes that there was a pride to having victors, that it was something she always had wanted. Now they were both being taken away, and there was nothing anyone could do about it. “By default selection, our tributes from district twelve are Im Jaebum and Park Jinyoung.” 

The crowd was silent. The two of them stepped forward and bowed, Jinyoung followed Jaebum’s lead even though he hated every moment of it. Jinyoung looked to Jaebum, they would defy again for this. They were together in what they wanted to do so they put their three fingers to their mouths and lifted them. The people knew what it was they were saying.

“We are honored to represent district 12,” Jaebum spoken into the microphone, “please take care of us.” They bowed again before they could speak again peacekeepers grabbed them and pulled them back earning gasps from the crowd and a very distraught Hani. Jinyoung was supposed to get the chance to speak but he was shocked as he was being dragged off the stage. He looked back for Youngjae but he was pulled back too fast. He didn't struggle even though everything within him wanted to. He could see Jaebum but he couldn’t reach for his hand with how they were dragged. 

They were put on the train and Hani was the only one who followed them. As soon as the peacekeepers left Jinyoung rushed to Jaebum who quickly put arms around him. They were together and that was enough, they both knew how things were likely to happen. Together they were safe, it was a lie in his mind. Every victory was a lie. There was no being safe from that moment on.

"Well that was disastrous," Hani declared, her tone frustrated, "but you my victors were wonderful as usual. I don't understand why they were acting like that when there are customs that should be observed.” Jaebum led Jinyoung to the couch and they both sat down. 

"This whole games is different," Jaebum responded to her, "and you know it." 

"Yes," she said and she looked very sad. "I know it and I feel it but I won't fret over it." Despite what she said there were tears in her eyes. "Things will look up. We will bear this with decorum. Though I think we should make green our team color, I already have the hair and Jinyoung has the pin. Now I have to find something green for Jaebum."

"I bet Taehyung would dye is hair if you asked," Jinyoung said, he couldn’t hold back the remark. The idea of Jaebum with green hair was absurd. 

"My hair will not be dyed," Jaebum declared quickly, "been there done that, never want it again." 

"Why you'd look great with green hair, or red," Jinyoung replied, he just wanted to give the elder a hard time. It helped him feel better with how heavy everything was. He could feel it pressing around him. He knew what the games meant, and it wasn’t something he wanted to be force to dwell on even knowing where they were headed.

"If you mention that around Taehyung so help me..." Jaebum began but Jinyoung interrupted him.

"Whose petty now?" he questioned and he smirked. They both knew how to push each other's buttons and he was happy to win one. “Petty boy.” Jinyoung used Jaebum’s nickname against him with a smirk. Jaebum looked upset, and pouted in response.

"I am going to go look in my catalogues." Hani was clearly still thinking about whatever green item she wanted to put on Jaebum. She walked out of the car, fixated on her plan for a team color. He would never understand her, nor why she acted the way she did. He guessed she was just the perfect example of how ridiculous and frivolous the people of the Capitol were.

"Jinyoung," Jaebum spoke and got his attention back, "we need to be at our most careful now."

"Yeah I know," Jinyoung responded, his tone was biting but he did really know. He knew exactly what was on the line with everything they were about to be forced to do. 

"Which mean's we can't drive each other crazy," Jaebum continued what he was saying. Jinyoung wanted to respond with a why not, or to say something about how they would never do anything but drive each other crazy. It felt better to be biting, to speak sarcastic words rather than to address the heaviness he really did feel.

"I know," Jinyoung settled on responding honestly, "but it feels better."

"Better than what?" Jaebum asked him and the conversation was instantly more serious than Jinyoung wanted. Still he went with it. Jaebum deserved better from him.

"Better than just waiting for things to go wrong," he said, "It feels more normal like this. Like we're going to make it out in the end." He knew that what he wanted was borderline impossible.

"We're going to make it Jinyoung," Jaebum said softly, "I can promise you that."

"Both of us?" Jinyoung asked. He needed to hear it the way he wanted it. He knew very well that Jaebum would put Jinyoung over himself and Jinyoung didn't want that. He wanted both of them to make it out but if he couldn’t he wanted it to be Jaebum. He at least wanted some assurance that Jaebum had made plans for the both of them to walk away together, he didn’t trust that the elder had.

"Jinyoung I can't predict everything," Jaebum said, "and you're more important..." There it was...

"Don't say that," Jinyoung said strongly before shouting, "damn it just don't!" He hated that statement more than anything, there was no way he was more important. He hated anyone daring to think of him as more important, as some king.

"Jinyoung what do you want me to say?" Jaebum asked, his tone quieter, more defeated. It wasn’t what Jinyoung wanted.

"Just stop saying I'm more important," Jinyoung replied, "don't you get it?" He wasn't sure Jaebum had ever understood how he felt. "I can't do this without you, so if I am important you are more so. So you have to tell me now that you understand we both make it out or I am not even going to try! I can’t watch another person die for me. I can’t watch you die for me you idiot. If something happens to you I won't be okay!"

"You may have to be," Jaebum spoke softly again. Jinyoung hated those words, he hated everything about it. He hated it when Jungkook died and told him it was going to be him, when Sana died and called him fire. He hated the idea that anyone would try to die for him again.

"I don't want it," Jinyoung replied his tone hardened, "I don't want to know what it's like to try and go on alone. I won't make it. I know myself and I know I won't." He couldn't fight on his own. Jaebum was what held him together over the month of anticipation for the arrival of the games. He always held him together, from his darkest moment to where they were. Without Jaebum he would end up back in that place, and he was sure he wouldn’t survive it again.

"I'm not in control," Jaebum began, "I can't decide..."

"Yes you can!" Jinyoung shouted at him, "You can decide. Everything we do is a choice we make. Just please don't leave me." He plead now, "Don't make a choice that will take you away from me. I don't care what you think it is, it’s not worth it." He knew Jaebum was trying to be realistic but that’s not what Jinyoung needed. He needed to believe they could both survive.

"Jinyoung I am telling you what I believe," he said, "I will try for you but it's because you matter. You are more important whether you realize it or not. Your survival could save everyone..."

"Well then who's going to save me?" Jinyoung asked. He wanted Jaebum to feel all of it, everything he felt. He never set out to be some hero to Panem, and that burden was one he couldn’t bear on his own. Maybe it was impossible to escape but it was more impossible to survive it alone.

"You don't need me," Jaebum said, "you just think you do..."

"You can't say that," Jinyoung responded, he was frustrated with Jaebum for not agreeing.

"Yes I can," Jaebum said, his voice still soft as he spoke, "because you're much stronger than you realize. You're strong enough to stand alone. You don't need anyone. You just need to realize that strength." Jinyoung heard that Jaebum believed what he said, he still hated it.

"I don't want to," Jinyoung said. He didn't want to. He didn't want to face a world where Jaebum was gone. He didn't want to lose another person in his life. It was the source of all his trauma. The reason his hand was tapping and the reason it all hurt. Losing another person because that person decided to sacrifice their own life for his wasn't an option… It would be far worse to lose Jaebum that way than anyone else.

"We are going to be in a rough fight," Jaebum said, "I can't promise you anything but that I will stay by your side whatever it takes." Jinyoung guessed it was all he could say. It was all they could do. They would stick together and watch each others backs the whole time and hope that was enough.

Jinyoung still hated it. He wanted Jaebum to say he’d fight to live, that he’d fight so they’d both live. The elder was silent, Jinyoung was silent. He reached and wound his fingers through Jaebum’s and looked into his eyes. He wanted him to understand. Jaebum put his other hand over their intertwined hands.

"I won't just leave you," Jaebum said after another moment of silence.

"You better not," Jinyoung replied and he sunk back into Jaebum's arms. The elder held onto him. Jinyoung felt that their story was one that was special, their bond was special and something he wanted to hold on to. He’d never had anyone in his life like Jaebum.

Jinyoung was sure the stars had aligned for them to meet, that they were tied together. That their fate was to come together and that their souls were matched perfectly. He was sure of nothing else but that him and Jaebum belonged side by side. Jaebum had changed Jinyoung’s life for the better and Jinyoung liked to think that maybe he’d also changed Jaebum’s.

\- - - - -

Their arrival at the Capitol was all fanfare and screams. Jinyoung and Jaebum stepped out together hand in hand. Their show of unity was something everyone in the people ate up and their bond was something the cameras picked up on. People were enamored by them together.

The broadcasters brought back their banquet moment when Jaebum had grabbed Jinyoung's hand before they walked to their place. Suddenly there was a story, suddenly there was a team to root for. And the media knew the peopled loved it. So they dubbed them JJ Project. They were the talk of the Capitol before the victory parade had even begun.

The media had their darlings and everyone wanted to know more about Jaebum and they wanted more of Jinyoung. It all felt like something that was planned, and Jinyoung was surprised when he was told about it.

Jinyoung had been whisked away to get treatments and processing done just like the year before. Jennie was there again and hadn't seen her in a year so it was good to see her again. Her and Taehyung were the ones that showed him the broadcasts and told him what was going on in the Capitol. Jinyoung wondered if BamBam or one of the others had something to do with it. More publicity meant the bigger chance of sponsors, and they didn’t have a mentor to lobby for them. 

Jaebum was off getting treated by his own team, he had been dreading it and Jinyoung made fun of him for it. The biggest thing thing Jinyoung had to endure was Taehyung had to color his hair black again because of his roots growing in. Jinyoung had never thought of how his hair would grow and lead to there being two different colors on his head, it also hadn’t bothered him but it bothered Taehyung.

"It's no fair that you got to dye his hair," Jennie whined as she watched Taehyung work, "I wanted to do that last year and I got shot down.” Jinyoung remembered when that had happened. He had been so frightened by all that was going on, he’d been worried they were going to make his hair blue. 

"Well now we're going back so it didn't really last long," Taehyung pointed out. 

They finished treatment and he was sent to BamBam for evaluation and styling. When he walked in BamBam hugged him and he held onto Jinyoung for a good long moment. Jinyoung understood, it was a tough fight they were facing.

"Well," BamBam said when he finally let go, "I had hoped I would never have to do this to the same person again." He looked at Jinyoung and looked him up and down like he always had. Jinyoung remembered the year before BamBam had been the first person to make him feel comfortable where he was. He was always grateful to BamBam for being such a good friend to him.

"It's not exactly a common occurrence," Jinyoung said with a shrug. It had never happened before, and he knew the reason it was happening was because of his own actions. Thinking about it made the heavy feeling start to settle again on him.

"I know," BamBam responded, "but you didn't deserve any of this."

"No one ever did," Jinyoung said. It was the truth. The system was made to take innocents and destroy their lives. His was no more or less important to what had happened than any other child whose lives were destroyed by the games. He didn’t understand a year before it wasn’t just the games, that the games stayed with the victors. That there was no going back, no escaping the truth of what they’d endured. 

"I know," BamBam said, "but we've got a lot we can work with. This year you will be fire, this year you and Jaebum will do this together." BamBam showed him a hand gesture that was new to him. "You need to eat up this public interest in your bond, milk it for all it's worth. We need the public to be talking about you and Jaebum and no one else. If they want JJ Project, we'll give them JJ Project."

And Jinyoung saw his makeup and costuming and began to understand. The flames would be their home, the fire would surround them. And from coal would spring diamonds. BamBam was defiant in everything he did. BamBam was a spark in the rebellion as well. He also knew the president had to see it as well. Everything BamBam did for them was putting himself at risk.

He wondered what would possess this boy to risk his life for a rebellion as well. In the Capitol they had everything. They still had fear, Taehyung showed that. Still BamBam could gain much more by playing along with the system than fighting against it. From the first day he’d known him he knew BamBam was different, but he hoped now that the other boy wasn’t too far in. He had a sinking feeling he was.

Jinyoung changed into his costume, it was uncomfortable and like the year before it was a bitch to get on. He was once again coated in oils and powders to him help slide into it. It was different but the material was still similar. When it was done he walked out with Bambam to the chariots and stood by them. Yugyeom and Jaebum hadn’t yet arrived. BamBam went to check on something and Jinyoung was left alone with his thoughts. Still he glanced at the other tributes.

All had won the Hunger Games by killing. They all had overcome adverse conditions and defeated 23 other enemies to win. All were skilled and dangerous. He understood that much.

"Jinyoungie!" a shrill voice he didn't recognize shouted his name and he barely held himself standing as someone barreled into him. Jinyoung's first instinct was to fight but he realized quickly this stranger was trying to hug him.

"What the hell!" Jinyoung declared, he pushed him off. It wasn’t easy to do in the restricting suit that he wore.

"I've waited so long to meet you Jinyoungie!" the man said he backed up and grabbed Jinyoung's biceps and moved his own face close to Jinyoung’s before shouting, "you are so pretty!" The man put a hand on his cheek and Jinyoung slapped his arm to get him to stop touching him,

"Who the hell are you?" Jinyoung questioned. He didn't like this stranger one bit. Why was he so handsy? It wasn’t normal for someone to grab people they didn’t know like this guy did. "Let go of me!" 

"I'm Jackson!" the boy declared with a huge smile. 

"Get the hell off me," Jinyoung demanded as Jackson threw his arms around him again. Was this some sort of technique to psych him out? Jinyoung didn’t trust anything or anyone around him that he didn’t know. Jackson’s handsy behavior really irritated him and he couldn’t seem to get rid of him.

"I have heard so much about you," Jackson responded, "I'm from district 4."

"I know who you are," Jinyoung said, "we are enemies right now, so you can go back to your chariot and leave me be." He did recognize the boy after hearing his name, Jaebum had gone over the list of tributes with Jinyoung and showed him their pictures. Jackson was said to be rambunctious but very very dangerous. Jinyoung didn’t know why but Jaebum had promised they would go more in depth that nighth.

"No Jinyoung we're not!" Jackson declared with a whine, "the game hasn't even started yet and you don't want to be friends. I want to be friends!" He looked so upset by it. Jinyoung was beginning to wonder if he lied about his age. Was Jackson 12?

"I am not here to make friends," Jinyoung said coldly. Friends meant more people he would lose in the arena. He wanted to stick with Jaebum even though the elder clearly wanted them to have allies.

“Well I am here for friends,” Jackson said, “and I pick you!” He put his arms around Jinyoung again.

“Get off!” Jinyoung said and he realized a lot of people in the room were staring at them because of the yelling. He hated having the attention on him, and wished Jackson would go yell somewhere else.

“Jinyoungie I think I love you already,” Jackson said. Jinyoung certainly didn’t feel the same way. “We’re going to be best friends!” Jackson shouted in his ear and Jinyoung winced from how loud it was. A moment later Jinyoung noticed suddenly Jackson’s hand had slipped down to his backside and the older boy squeezed it.

“HEY!” Jinyoung pushed him hard and Jackson stumbled back with a laugh, “GET AWAY FROM ME.” He couldn’t resist shouting with how angry he was.

“See you around,” Jackson said, he jumped and skipped away quickly after throwing Jinyoung a smirk. He heard someone laughing at him and glared at Jaebum. He knew the elder well and he wouldn’t be shocked if he found out that Jaebum put the other up to it. All the other tributes had known each other for years. He was the outsider to their dynamics and Jaebum had made sure to remind him of that over and over during the train ride.

“Asshole,” Jinyoung said to him. He leaned back against the chariot and glared at Jaebum.

“What I didn’t do anything,” Jaebum said but he was still clearly laughing at Jinyoung.

“Friend of yours?” Jinyoung asked.

“Wang Jackson is everyone’s friend,” Jaebum replied, “he’s got a knack for being on everyone’s good side. He would be the best ally.”

“Or the worst,” Jinyoung said with a roll of his eyes. Jaebum got his meaning. If someone was on everyone’s good side they could get the drop on everyone. That person could be the most dangerous in the arena, trusted and able to twist that trust to his own advantage.

“Well one thing's for sure he’s not on my good side,” Jinyoung muttered. He wouldn’t be trusting Wang Jackson and his crazy antics anytime soon.

“Oh he will be,” Jaebum said, “Jackson will find a way. He always does.” Jinyoung saw the elders own fondness for the other boy and felt a bit jealous of it. Jaebum had known Jackson longer even than him. But there was no time for him to question their relationship further as it was announced they would be going out soon.

BamBam had some of their team come together to help them into their chariot. It was awkward with the painfully tight suits they wore but they managed. Jinyoung was aware of the kind of impression that BamBam wanted them to make and he would play his part as best he could.

“Okay you two,” BamBam walked beside their chariot as it slowly moved into the line up of the procession, “when you’re ready push this button and don’t be afraid if you’re on fire it’s not real. Also remember the hand gestures. Hold hands too they love that!” He was definitely all over his plan to give them the best first impression. They had already made it with their arrival and they needed to continue to capitalize on it as the stylist had repeated all afternoon.

“Got it,” Jaebum said and they both nodded. The elder rested his hand next to the button ready to go when they needed it.

“Let’s go JJ Project!” BamBam cheered as the chariots moved beyond where he could go. Jinyoung waved slightly. It was hard to move his arms in his costume. He could hear the crowds beyond screaming for the tributes who were currently being displayed for them. He tried not to focus on it..

BamBam had told him not to smile when he was out there and he assumed that Jaebum had gotten the same direction. He said that they should stare ahead and stay cold and untouchable except to each other. That they should look at each other with warmth in their eyes, make it seem like there was something more between them. Jinyoung wasn’t sure he was comfortable selling their confusing relationship like some sort of commodity but he would follow orders.

Jinyoung remembered being in this position last time, he remembered Sana with him... he didn’t want to remember on the edge of an important performance. His fist was tapping, he was anxious about the moment ahead and hyper aware of how it felt. The hand of the person next to him took his, stopping the rhythm.

“I’m right here,” Jaebum said, “you’re not alone.”

“I know,” Jinyoung said. Their chariot took off into the light. The crowds were loud before but they went nuts now. Jaebum and Jinyoung’s hands were intertwined and they raised them. Then the pushed the button. Their suits did light on fire, Jinyoung was in awe but slightly scared of it.

He saw he suit fire fading melting it’s black to iridescent and bright colors, diamonds but this time they came from the fire. He knew now was the time. He looked to Jaebum and he nodded they held their hands up in J’s the crowd screamed further for their favorites. Jinyoung felt numb to the sound of it. They were celebrating the games more than they were celebrating him or Jaebum. The whole thing was a ritual of fear and death, he hated it.

Their chariot reached the end of the line but it felt like it took a long time. Their suits settled the color wasn’t black after the fire faded but a crystalized white. Coal to diamonds. Jinyoung couldn’t figure out how BamBam accomplished creating clothing like he did. The rest of the event was exactly as the year before. The president stood up and gave a speech, the people responded to his words with cheers and applause but Jinyoung glared up at him. The old man’s eyes looked all around and then they met Jinyoung’s, there was an expression there that scared him. A clear sign the president could see through his act. He clenched his fists.

He was relieved when the chariots were taken back to the building. The people screamed as they left, Jinyoung felt exhausted from the whole fanfare.

“That was perfect,” BamBam met them inside. “We will get you all fixed up at the new penthouse!” Apparently the Capitol had paid for new versions of everything, more advanced training and completely new living spaces. This games was the most expensive, the biggest statement. The penthouse was above them in the building.

“Can we get out of this thing sooner rather than later?” Jaebum complained about the outfit. Jinyoung wanted to make some sort or remark about Jaebum being a baby but he wanted out as well.

“I don’t make the rules,” BamBam replied. So they followed the stylist even though walking was awkward. They were almost to the elevators when a shrill voice sounded out, echoing through the large room.

“JINYOUNGIE!!”

“Not again,” Jinyoung declared.

“Jinyoungie you’re so amazing!” Jackson said as he threw his arms around Jinyoung in a tight hug again. Jinyoung was sure Jackson was trying to crush and kill him before the games began.

“Let go of me,” Jinyoung tried to push him off again.

“Jackson let the kid breathe,” Jaebum said with a laugh.

“But Jaebum you’re both so amazing,” Jackson switched to jump and hug the elder of the two and Jaebum didn’t seem to mind. Jinyoung glared at him, he didn’t like seeing Jackson hanging off Jaebum.

“We’re leaving,” Jinyoung declared. Jinyoung wanted out of there now. Too many other tributes had their attention on the two of them and Jackson wouldn’t leave them alone. He didn’t like it one bit. 

“Awe don’t go so fast I want to introduce my new best friend to everyone.” Jackson hugged Jinyoung again. Jinyoung glared at him and pushed him off successfully. He was sure if looks could kill he would have discovered the ability to murder Jackson as he pouted and settled an arm around Jaebum’s shoulders.

“Get off him!” Jinyoung declared, irritated.

“Jinyoung be nice,” Jaebum chided him and Jinyoung directed his glare at the elder.

“I just want to get out of this suit,” Jinyoung said, “so we need to go.” BamBam was laughing at all of them. Jinyoung was sure BamBam understood that Jinyoung didn’t like Jackson touching Jaebum. For some reason it made his blood boil more than the thought of Jackson trying to squeeze him to death.

“It’s okay Jaebum,” Jackson said, “Jinyoung will get used to me.” He winked. “But if you want to go, you can.” He got more serious his smile more of a smirk. “See you boys in training.” Jinyoung was sure he hated the other boy.

They walked on into the elevator and as the door was closing two people walked in quickly. Jinyoung recognized them on sight. 

“Yoongi,” Jinyoung said but he was being hugged again this time by Kim Seokjin. Jinyoung felt the hug was completely different than Jackson’s. He didn’t mind it at all.

“It’s good to see you both,” Seokjin said, “we won’t get much opportunities to chat without cameras. How are you?” Jinyoung had never met Seokjin, only seen pictured and heard about him from Jungkook. The way he spoke was if speaking to an old friend, Jinyoung was a bit confused but it but found the walk he spoke to be so warm and welcoming. He felt as if he already knew him.

“We’re doing well,” Jaebum responded, “thanks for asking. How are you both?” Jinyoung realized he should have asked, but he was too dumbfounded.

“We’re okay considering Jin never knows how to stick to the plan,” Yoongi quipped.

“As if I was ever going to let Namjoon go back into the arena,” Seokjin quipped back, “but that’s not important. What is important is that you need to sweep your place for bugs. We already went to ours and found some.”

“What?” Jinyoung asked. He wasn’t sure he understood what they were talking about. He’d never seen a single bug in the Capitol.

“The Capitol planted listening devices in our rooms,” Yoongi replied, “we were able to remove them but we assume they’re in everyone’s so it’s not a safe place to talk or make plans. Just search for them or speak generally and be careful.” Their floor came with a ding, district 5 were let off at the 5th floor up.

“Just be careful,” Seokjin added, “see you both tomorrow.” The two stepped out and Yoongi nodded to him. There was an understanding between them, Jinyoung understood that. They’d barely interacted but it was enough to know that Yoongi was on his side. Of all the people around them he knew he could count on Yoongi and Seokjin were the most valuable allies, still the thought of allies hurt. They couldn’t all make it out.

“Well,” Jaebum said, “I guess we have some work to do when we get up there.”

“After we get out of these suits,” Jinyoung replied. 

“They’re not that bad,” BamBam remarked. When they got to the penthouse, Yugyeom, Taehyung, Jennie and Hani were waiting for them. Yugyeom took Jaebum to help him change while BamBam took Jinyoung.

BamBam did not say much. He could tell the younger boy was a bit shocked by the idea that they were being listened to. Once Jinyoung was out of the suit he had to take a special bath like the year before to get all the oils off his body. 

“Why did we have to do this again?” He asked. He hated the suits and it was scary being lit on fire like he was. 

“Because it works,” BamBam said, “it gets the most attention when your costume in the parade is epic like this. All the other stylists this year were trying to top it but you still got the loudest cheers. You made the biggest impression so it works.”

“Well maybe I don’t want all the attention,” Jinyoung said, he knew he was complaining more for the sake of complaining now that it was over with. There was nothing he could do about how the system was set up, they needed attention if they were going to have any chance in the arena. Bam was doing an incredible job with helping them. Jinyoung knew he was playing a dangerous game in doing so. He knew that BamBam’s actions could be taken as defiant and get him in trouble. 

“Thank you Bam,” Jinyoung changed his tone and attitude. What BamBam did for them mattered. They had no mentors, no one to fight for them on the outside but him and Yugyeom. He knew complaining to him wouldn’t change anything, they needed the things he did. BamBam’s plans did matter.

After they finished up they all set to work looking for mics and other bugs around the penthouse. They found quite a few in every room and moved them all to Jinyoung’s room which was far down the hall. He had plans to stay in Jaebum’s so it wasn’t a problem to have that one room as the one that was heard. They got it all done before Hani got back. Jaebum had said he didn’t want her to know about what they were doing. The elder was unsure of who to trust.

They all ate dinner together with Hani going on and on about how everyone wanted more of them. Jinyoung sat next to Jaebum as he ate and he was surprised when he felt Jaebum’s hand on his thigh. The move seemed to be in response to Hani’s words about how the people wanted more of Jinyoung, it was possessive in a way. Jinyoung blushed and prayed no one would notice.

He looked at Jaebum and saw the elder was focused on his food and using his other hand to eat. Jinyoung placed his hand over Jaebum’s on him, a gesture of comfort. He could understand why Jaebum was uncomfortable with talks of Jinyoung as a commodity given what he had endured when he was a new victor.

After dinner Jaebum planned to go over the tribute list and give Jinyoung a bigger rundown of potential allies and enemies. Jaebum knew their stories and knew most of them personally. Each year as a mentor there were times they all spent together during the games. In his early years he’d tried to make some friends to get help for his tributes. From those experiences he had gotten to know who could be trusted and who could not be.

“First district 1,” Jaebum began. He had the viewing screen on with pictures of the tributes up as well as a list of traits they shared. “Jay and Taeyeon. Both won their games brutally, Taeyeon is good with a bow...”

“Are you kidding?” Jinyoung asked. Someone else in the arena being good with a bow meant his skill wasn’t unique. A bow was the most dangerous weapon and he wouldn’t have an advantage with her there.

“I wish I was,” Jaebum said, “so our first objective in the arena will be to secure the bow so that you can use it and hope that they don’t put in 2.” Jaebum clearly had thought of everything because Jinyoung wouldn’t have even considered the idea of there being two bows.

“Shit they better not.” Jinyoung declared. It would be really bad if they chose to try and make the games more dramatic by doing so.

“They like competition it is more likely one would be their style but we cannot rule out the possibility,” he said. “Jay is a Javelin user so that could also count as ranged just more limited. They are joined by Bom and Joon in the career pack. Bom is a master of disguise… She won the hunger games by disguising herself and setting up traps for tributes,” that sounded scary. “We need to be on guard all the time if she is in play. Lee Joon is another very dangerous enemy. He plays the long game like Bom, mostly using a sword and shield.”

“The good thing is Bom and Joon both won the games quite a long time ago so they’re not going to pose as much threat as Taeyeon,” Jaebum added. The next two Jaebum spoke of with more fondness in his voice. “Next district 3; Park Joon and Kim Jisoo. Joon’s getting up there in age but he is known for his smarts… He is the top engineer in district 3, he won the games by electrocuting 5 tributes at once. He’s a pretty nice guy despite that and was one of the first people to reach out to me when I was new.”

“Jisoo was an underdog her year like me. She won using similar methods, though hers were less brutal. She is a master of electronic knowledge and actually made a weapon out of wiring attached to a sword.” She sounded interesting and Jinyoung believe she could make a resourceful ally.

“Could we ally with her?” Jinyoung asked.

“The potential is there,” Jaebum said, “she is a kind girl, but it is likely she won’t be much of a factor during the games. She’s very popular amongst the older victors as someone they’d seek to protect because of what she went through. She’s not quite right in the head anymore, and tries but she had a hard time recovering after the games ended.”

“That’s sad,” Jinyoung said. He wondered if he would have been the same if he didn’t have Jaebum.

“It is,” Jaebum responded, “Moving on to District 4. Wang Jackson you met earlier, Gi-Kwang is the other tribute both are skilled fighters. Jackson is very skilled with a saber, he is extremely good in water due to being part of the fishing district. Gi-Kwang is similar in water but his main weapon is a fishing trident. It seems silly in appearance but it is really powerful. You do not want to be attacked by him, you will not make it out alive.”

He made a mental note to avoid that guy. He wouldn’t have expected swords for Jackson, he seemed more like the kind of person who would smother others to kill them. He really didn’t like him and did not want him as an ally.

“Jackson,” Jinyoung shook his head, “what’s that kids deal?” Jaebum seemed friendly with him, and the reminder made him angry.

“He’s had a pretty rough life,” Jaebum responded, “but he genuinely loves people, he loves being around them. The games took a bad toll on him, he wanted to befriend everyone not fight them. He was crushed after.” Jinyoung wondered if one of the people Jackson loved was Jaebum.

“How did he win?” Jinyoung asked. He needed to know that part of things more than anything. He needed to be able to counter all of them.

“The arena was really awful Jackson’s year,” Jaebum said, “It was mostly water, he thrived in it. A lot of the kids didn’t know how to swim. Even less knew how to fish and there was no food in the center. Jackson had an advantage from the beginning. A lot of kids drown, the hardest thing for Jackson was he made friends and they turned on him. But he always saw it coming and took those who attacked him down. He did a great job handling tough situations but he hasn’t been the same since by all reports.”

“He tries to stay optimistic from what I’ve seen,” Jaebum said, “but he’s very much wary of trusting people. That he is so insistent on cozying up to you says he does trust you. Probably because you protected the people you cared about and never did turn on them.” Jinyoung did hear a fondness in Jaebum’s voice for Jackson, he knew it was irrational but it made him more upset.

“I’m not here to make friends,” Jinyoung reiterated what he said earlier. He didn’t want to make allies and friends only to have to lose them later. He especially didn’t want to ally with people he believed were likely to backstab him.

“Well you should be,” Jaebum said, “in this pack we have very dangerous enemies. A few allies will make the difference between life and death.” He wanted a few allies, he’d already picked two that he trusted, and he deemed that enough. He didn’t need the whole field to be allied with him only to have them kill him and Jaebum.

“I know,” Jinyoung said, “I pick Yoongi and Seokjin. They’re the only one’s I trust.” He had good reason too after they’d already reached out to him before everything had happened. He still wore Jungkook’s watch. He’d given it back to Yoongi only to have it gifted to him. He considered that a heavy burden and an honor to bear.

“Yes this brings us to them,” Jaebum said, “Yoongi is a master of knifes, throwing and other general usage. There is no one better than him.” And it reminded Jinyoung of the boy in the forest. The way he handled himself, and hit his marks when it mattered. It connected.

"That's how Jungkook knew how..." Jinyoung said out loud. Jaebum nodded he knew what a rough subject this was for Jinyoung so he continued. 

"Yoongi is in all the best weapons teacher as well," Jaebum said, "he apparently trained with Namjoon's father for any threat. They had the foresight to prepare for the games even if there was a chance they would never make it, and with Seokjin as their mentor they did very will which brings us to him. Seokjin is not a weapons expert. He is a master of camouflage and plant knowledge."

"Wait how do you win the games with that?" Jinyoung was confused by it. He knew a lot about plants from growing up in the forest but he didn’t think that was good enough to win the games. Good enough to stay alive but there were always tributes on the hunt to watch out for. Simply knowing how to survive off the forest wasn’t enough.

"They were in a jungle his year," Jaebum said, "no one thought Seokjin had a chance, he was rated a 5 after evaluation. He proved them wrong. His knowledge of plants was everyone else's undoing. He had a lot to work with in his arena. He knew which plants could be used to cause rashes, he knew which plants were poison, and he knew which plants were healing. Any injures he got he could fix, any tributes encountered he was ready for them. He literally created poison poultices to throw at them. He did everything perfectly, no one stood a chance against him."

"So he wouldn't necessarily be advantageous in desert like terrain," Jinyoung responded. It sounded like Seokjin’s knowledge wouldn’t have been as useful in a forest where the primary foliage was pine.

"That is correct," Jaebum said, "which is why Namjoon was supposed to be in this spot. But Seokjin volunteered."

"Why would he do that?" Jinyoung asked, it seemed like an odd thing to do if Namjoon was a better fighter. "He might not even make it out."

"He volunteered because Namjoon had a harder time in the games than either Jin or Yoongi," Jaebum said, "he was skilled and prepared but the arena that year was filled with traps and all sorts of horrible things. His win was the most miraculous, Jin and Yoongi fought hard for him on the outside but he was able to get through some really tough things. When he did get out he wouldn't speak for 3 months. He had a really tough time adjusting. He was 15 when he went in."

"He grew a lot from that then," Jinyoung pointed out. Namjoon always seemed like their leader, like the strongest of them. Jinyoung would have never thought that he had the hardest time out of the three of them in the games.

"Yeah," Jaebum said, "he definitely has grown. He has become someone much more than all of us. He is a leading figure in his district, someone people there love and trust." Jaebum paused and looked back towards Jinyoung. “Namjoon was in the games the year my sister was reaped… he actually fought to protect her but was unable to. Much like you and Jungkook.” Jinyoung saw the way his face fell, the way those words were hard for Jaebum to say.

“Jaebum-ah,” Jinyoung responded, his voice knew sounded pained. He didn’t like seeing the pain in Jaebum’s eyes, the way it was hard to speak of things passed. He put an arm around his shoulders, Jaebum leaned towards him. 

“It’s okay,” Jaebum said, “I’ve made my peace with what happened. It’s just the reality of what was always going to go down.” Jinyoung still wished he could comfort Jaebum as well as the elder comforted him. He hated seeing him in pain, hated that he didn’t know how to chase it away.

"Now we need to talk about District 6," Jaebum continued on from that moment, "Ok Taecyeon and Yang Seung-ho. The transportation district has some interesting winners, Taecyeon run by strength with a hammer and Seung-ho literally dropped rocks on people's heads from cliffs. Do not underestimate either. Taecyeon is actually a really great person, when you meet him you won't believe he literally bashed kids heads in to win the games..."

Jinyoung before would have been shocked at the statement but seeing pictures of normal looking people and hearing how they won he was starting to get numb it it. He still raised his eyebrows and looked at Jaebum.

"It was a brutal year..." Jaebum offered as an explanation. Jinyoung just rolled his eyes. He had to get used to the idea of all the people he would see in training being killers. "Okay moving on, District 7, my personal friend Hyolyn and her mentor Sandara. Hyolyn is an axe expert, Sandara gets the upper hand on stealth, no one ever sees her coming. Hyolyn is someone I think you'd like, Sandara too. Both of them are good people."

“Personal friend?” Jinyoung asked as he noted that detail.

“Hyolyn knew what was going on with Yang’s pressure on me,” Jaebum explained, “I was a kid with no one to look out for me. She was kind, she helped me but she couldn’t always be there.” He was starting to get it. These victors were all the same. They all suffered and they looked out for each other. There was a tense feeling that they all were very angry. That they would willingly fight together.

“So district 8 Jae-yoon and Heechul,” Jaebum moved on, “Jae-yoon’s getting older but he has a very good knowledge of forests. If we are in a forest something to watch out for is him teaming up with Heechul. He literally cut down trees in specific place so that they would fall on the other tributes, and Heechul is very strong plus he’s a fan favorite. He’ll get a lot of attention.”

“Let’s hope we’re not in a forest,” Jinyoung said. He didn’t want to die by being crushed by a tree, it sounded like an awful way to go.

“District 9 is Sunmi and Joo-yeon,” Jaebum said, “Sunmi is not all there but she’s a nice woman. She won her games with a more direct approach than most she snuck around and backstabbed the other tributes... Joo-yeon used a sword. District 10 Min-gyeong and Woo Hyuk. These two will not be a factor. They had rough times after their games and are both addicted to some pretty nasty drugs...” 

“That doesn’t sound good,” Jinyoung said. He could understand having a rough time after the games, he wondered where these people were supplied drugs. He wondered if the Capitol had something to do with it.

“It definitely isn’t,” Jaebum responded, “but it helps us even if it is sad. District 11 is another one to watch out for.” Jaebum flipped to the final two tributes they would face. “Ji-hyun and Ji-ho who calls himself Zico. Ji-hyun is dangerous with a slingshot which is crazy because he brought one as a token disguised as a bracelet and used rocks from the arena.”

“That’s actually an interesting strategy,” Jinyoung remarked. He would have never thought to bring in a token that could also be used as a weapon. Using a slingshot as a bracelet was brilliant.

“Yeah he apparently used a slingshot at home to take out rodants and other larger animals in the fields. And Jiho is extremely versatile, he used several weapons throughout his games. Whatever he could get his hands on. He is extremely fierce,” Jaebum said, “and very passionate about getting out. If you see him shoot him on sight, even if it is just to stop him and run. He won’t go down easy and he will keep trying to kill you.”

“You know I can’t kill Jaebum,” he said, “it’s not in me.” He was the only victor who had ever won the games without taking a single life.

“It wasn’t in any of us either. We all made the choices we had to,” Jaebum said, “ they won’t hesitate. You see them you shoot. You don’t have time to think.” He got what Jaebum was saying and he had shot to injure before but his shots didn’t take down Minho and he doubted they would take down Zico.

He may have to do something he didn’t like and that thought scared him. It was one of those gripping fears that took his breath away. Something he always fought to control by tapping his fist against his side and hoping it wouldn’t come down to him. Everything he saw from the tributes in front of him was frightening. They would be in the arena determined to get out, and he didn’t know if he could match their drive and determination because he didn’t want to kill. He didn’t want to become what the Capitol wanted him to be. 

“Jinyoung you will make it,” Jaebum encouraged. Jinyoung was just glad he had Jaebum with him, he was certain he would be worse off if he had to face them on his own. He just leaned into the elder. He didn’t want to speak any of his fears. He just wanted Jaebum’s arms. His protection. He found his fears calming when the elder held onto him. He felt safe that night with Jaebum holding him as if he would never let him go. Perhaps he never would.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this chapter, it's a good introduction to the new players on the field.
> 
> In the next few chapters we're going to get to know the new characters a bit more.
> 
> Chapter 10 will be called "The Pieces."
> 
> As always please comment and let me know what you think, thanks for all your comments so far. Also remember to leave Kudos. <3


	10. The Pieces

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jinyoung and Jaebum face their first training days and try to find the different between friend and foe.
> 
> Jinyoung faces trauma from his past experience in the Hunger Games.

Waking up in Jaebum’s arms never got old. Something about it was so perfect, Jinyoung fit so well. He was so comfortable here in a place he clearly belonged. Often Jaebum woke up and still didn’t let go for awhile as they talked. Jinyoung liked to act petty toward the elder to see how he reacted, Jinyoung liked the way Jaebum fired back at his words. Like a came that they played that could provide them a bit more light in their darkness.

Jinyoung woke up first, his eyes settled on Jaebum’s face and familiar features that he never got tired of seeing them. When Jaebum awoke his eyes met Jinyoung. He was silent, there was none of their normal morning banter in them. They just laid still and held on to each other, both aware of what was coming. They knew what the day held but they wanted to stay where they were in the comfort of each other for as long as they could. The didn’t know how fast the days ahead would go.

Jinyoung liked Jaebum’s eyes. He liked the shape of them, the depth they had to them. The way the could look at him like they could see through him. Jinyoung liked the twin moles that decorated them, just above his left eye. Something about his eyes made Jinyoung want to tell him how beautiful they were but he never had. 

He’d never used any words to describe what he saw when he looked at Jaebum. Part of it was a bit of embarrassment of viewing him as someone who was beautiful, another part of it was pride. He had a lot of pride, and he didn’t want to feed Jaebum’s. There was a push and pull to them, in everything they did that he had a hard time explaining. 

He reached his hand to Jaebum’s face, the elder didn’t move or protest as Jinyoung traced his fingers over the twin moles. Perhaps they reminded him of the sun and moon the sky, they just happened to be there lighting his way. He breathed slowly as Jaebum closed his eyes. His features were catlike, and when he closed his eyes the way he did he reminded Jinyoung of a cat basking in attention. 

Jinyoung smiled, he liked thinking of Jaebum like that, softer and not like the wise boy he knew. Jaebum wasn’t much older than him but sometime he talked like he was from a different time. Jinyoung knew they had both lost their childhoods. He’d lost his when his mother had died, Jaebum had lost him when he was reaped at thirteen years old.

It was sad to think about how little of a chance they’d ever had to grow up. They both had such different stories yet there was something similar about them. It was like the pieces of them that were different so perfectly fit with the edges of each other. Like a puzzle that formed a complete picture. Jinyoung could describe himself as feeling whole when he was with Jaebum, though he’d never tell the elder. He didn’t know why but there was something holding him back from really revealing to Jaebum how much he meant. Maybe it was just that Jinyoung didn’t fully understand it, maybe he was just scared.

He knew it was scary to think that they were both at risk in the games ahead. It was scary to think that he could lose Jaebum, and as he’d told the elder he wasn’t sure he could survive it. He wasn’t sure he could handle being forced to return home without him. 

Jaebum’s eyes opened again as Jinyoung kept his hand against the elders cheek. His skin was so soft, so beautiful and smooth. Jinyoung moved his hand to the elder’s hair and blushed as he remembered the day of the quarter quell announcement. He withdrew his hand and turned onto his back still in Jaebum’s arms. He glanced down to see Jaebum rest his head against his shoulder.

“They’re going to come looking for us if we don’t go out,” Jaebum said and Jinyoung felt Jaebum’s breath against his skin where his shirt was lose. Jinyoung liked the feeling.

“Taehyung would probably want to jump into the group hug,” Jinyoung replied, “You have Jennie on your makeup, she probably doesn’t hassle you much.” Taehyung was a lot to handle but Jinyoung had grown to feel a fondness towards him. Taehyung was important to him after what he’d been through, he would never forget how kind the younger was to him before and after the games. 

“She doesn’t hassle at all,” Jaebum laughed a bit. They settled back into silence. Jaebum’s hands ran slightly up and down his arm, his grip on Jinyoung was lose. Jinyoung just didn’t want to move from it, he liked being there with Jaebum.

“I don’t want to go to training,” Jinyoung groaned, “can’t we just skip and do something else?” 

“And do what?” Jaebum asked, “sleep?” He knew Jinyoung too well. After dealing with depression and panic, sleeping was something he preferred to do a lot of. When he’d first gotten back from the games Jaebum had tried to get him to stop sleeping so much.

“Yeah I like that idea,” Jinyoung said, “let’s just stay here and sleep.” He turned back towards Jaebum and jostled him off his shoulder. The result was Jaebum’s arms wrapping around his waist, and his head against Jinyoung’s chest. Jinyoung liked it.

“We have a job to do,” Jaebum responded, “as much as I want to skip today we will chose our allies in training. So we definitely should go and at least try to get something accomplished.”

“I know,” Jinyoung said, he just didn’t want too. Jaebum shifted and slipped his arms away from Jinyoung. He then sat up and looked down at him with a smile. Jinyoung liked how his eyes disappeared into crescent shapes when he smiled. It reminded him of the moon just like the twin moles on his brow.

“Come on pretty boy,” Jaebum poked at his arm, “time to get up.” He still hated the nickname but he would never admit that he liked the fondness in Jaebum’s voice that he heard when the elder said it.

The morning was a blur. They were given breakfast and styled which Jinyoung still found wholly unnecessary for training, still Taehyung insisted that his hair had to look good at all times. They were taken down to the training center immediately following. Jaebum informed him that they would be splitting up to speak to all potential allies and gave Jinyoung a list of people to try and form a connection with. He wasn’t comfortable with the task at hand but he knew it was important for them to divide and conquer to get it all done within the three training days they had.

Jinyoung didn’t want many allies but it seemed Jaebum did so he would go along with what the elder wanted. Jinyoung glanced around the training center, he saw Jaebum had approached Taecyeon. Jinyoung found it ironic that he chose to go to the “nice guy” who had bashed kids heads in. Jinyoung was evaluating the people he saw and searching for someone that stood out to him. He still didn’t want other allies, he just wanted Jaebum.

Trust was hard for him. He had been in the same situation before, trying to decide who to trust, and he had been burned badly. He’d lost someone he cared about because of that mistake, and he didn’t want to make it again. Still he had to pick someone and as he watched he saw Park Joon sitting with Sunmi, some electric wires in their hands. He decided to go talk to them. They were some of the oldest tributes there. He wasn’t even sure how to approach them so he just went and sat down near them.

“Hello kid,” Joon said, he looked directly at Jinyoung like he knew that Jinyoung had come to see him. Jinyoung waved a bit awkwardly.

“Hi,” he said in response. He saw what they were doing and he was curious as to what it was. Something with electricity.

“You want to see what we’re looking at?” Sunmi asked him. He moved closer. He saw Joon’s hands were skilled twisting different wires together. He wondered about it. He watched as he let go and Sunmi flipped a switch. The wires sparked and to life lit up. Then Sunmi turned it off. He was surprised and curious of their power source.

“What do you have it hooked up to?” Jinyoung asked them.

“The walls,” Joon said pointing to an outlet in the wall. Then he pointed up to the lights. Jinyoung noticed they flickered and wondered if the man was trying to point that out to him. 

“What?” He asked. There was nothing that he saw more than a slight flickering on the edge. It was almost unnoticeable if one wasn’t watching.

“They obviously have something taking a lot of power,” Sunmi said, “if we run this high enough we could take down the system.” She seemed gleeful about it. He was confused as to why the Capitol would have a flaw in their system with someone like Joon who could obviously expose it.

“Why is it weak like this?” Jinyoung asked them.

“They’re powering something very large,” Joon said, “let’s see if you can guess what it is. I’ve heard your very bright.” Jinyoung was actually very curious if he could spot it. He looked around and what he did see reminded him… It reminded him of walking through the snow with a child who could see things he hadn’t been aware of. Jungkook was more perceptive than he had been.

“The force field,” he guessed. He could see the slight light reflections like Jungkook had taught him too. The thought made him sad but it was a lesson he hadn’t forgotten.

“Good,” Joon said, “My name’s Joon Park. What’s yours?” They knew each other’s names but Jinyoung knew this was a way for them to keep their agency. To hold on to what belonged to them. The nation knew their names but didn’t know them. Jaebum had told him to expect them to respond to him that way.

“Park Jinyoung,” he said. The elderly man smiled at him. Jinyoung learned a bit more from him and started to really like him. Even if he was the oldest there he had a valuable skill set. Sunmi on the other hand he was wary of because of how Jaebum had told him she won. He didn’t want to ally with someone who was known for having backstabbed the tributes in her year. 

He excused himself and glanced around the room. He saw Jay training on one side of the room and he saw Taeyeon was training with the bow. He watched for a second. She was doing well with her targets, much like he’d been told she was very good. Definitely dangerous. He walked a bit and saw district 11’s Ji-Hyun, working with stones. He was the tribute who had brought a slingshot into the games. Jinyoung was interested in him, in what his story was.

He ventured over and saw he was trying to make a spark with the rocks he had to get a fire going. Jinyoung saw he was getting frustrated, his hands were shaking as he moved the rocks together and tried to find the right angle. Jinyoung spotted the bracelet around his wrist, he still had it with him and would likely use it in the game ahead of them.

“Do you need some help?” Jinyoung asked. The man looked up at him. Jinyoung noticed a long Jagged scar down his face and tried not to stare but he was taken aback by it. He hadn’t seen it in the pictures that Jaebum had showed him.

“I know what I am doing,” the man said coldly. Jinyoung wasn’t sure how to respond to the way that he said it. He stood there for a moment and thought about moving on, but he wondered if Ji-Hyun was a potential ally and if he should try to move on or not.

“You need to hit at an angle,” Jinyoung said. The man glared at him, the expression in his eyes was so hateful that Jinyoung nearly took a step back.

“Listen kid,” he said, “these rocks are not for starting s fire. I’m smoothing them so that they’ll fly farther and faster. So I can kill spineless cowards like you.” Jinyoung was completely caught off guard by his aggression, he hadn’t expected it. He was uncomfortable with how the man was looking at him like he wanted to kill him. It was best for him to leave and move on to someone else, he knew that.

“Okay,” Jinyoung said. He was about to walk away when he saw a knife sailing through the air. He flinched, it hit the wall next to him. It wasn’t a throwing knife like the ones he knew it was straight and thin.

“Not so fast kid,” he looked to see Zico standing with another knife. He was twirling it with his fingers as he started at Jinyoung with a hungry look in his eyes. He remembered what Jaebum said about shooting first when seeing Zico and that Zico would keep fighting to kill him. Jinyoung felt a tinge of fear as he looked at him.

“I don’t want any trouble,” Jinyoung said. He hadn’t intended to cause any problems..

“Well neither do I,” Zico replied, “but I’d like a friend for target practice. What do you say to helping me out?” Jinyoung knew it was dangerous ground to tread on. He understood the murderous intent in the other boys eyes, but they were in training. They couldn’t show too much aggression, they couldn’t try to fight seriously or they would be restrained by the guards. He had a sinking feeling that wouldn’t stop Zico.

“I have to go,” Jinyoung replied, “maybe another time.” He wanted out of there and away from them. Jaebum was right that district 11 was dangerous.

“Just hold still,” Zico said. He launched another knife towards Jinyoung. It landed in the post next to him again right next to the previous one. Zico was good, he was trying to intimidate and frighten Jinyoung. Even knowing that Jinyoung couldn’t stop the response he had towards the other boy.

“You see If you move too much,” Zico declared, “I might accidentally ruin that pretty face of yours.” Jinyoung realized the guards weren’t interfering with this. He looked to them and saw that they were watching as if interested in what was coming next. He glanced up to the gamemakers box and found a familiar face staring at him. JYP’s gaze was unreadable but his hand was moving and in it Jinyoung caught a flash of white. Another chess piece?

He looked back to Zico and glared. The boy was grinning. He knew he had rattled Jinyoung and Jinyoung playing right into his hands by responding in fear. The older boy was spinning another knife in him hand and his eyes looking like he had his prey in his net. Jinyoung hated that look, he worried if he moved that Zico would throw another one.

“Zico back off,” Jinyoung said. He didn’t want to show his fear, he wanted to stand with some sort of confidence.

“Hold still kid,” Zico said again he threw the knife. Jinyoung was sure it was going to hit him this time no matter how still he stayed. He closed his eyes but the hit didn’t come. The sound of metal striking metal is what echoed out into the arena. He opened his eyes. He turned his head and saw Yoongi with two more knives in his hand and a confident smirk on his face.

“You want to try and hit my boy one more time?” Yoongi asked him. Jinyoung felt relieved upon seeing the older tribute.

“I’d bet on him being faster,” Seokjin’s voice was from the other side, he was holding a knife of his own.

Zico glared at Yoongi, the predatory gaze was off his face and it was replaced just by anger. Yoongi looked very calm like this was a minor annoyance to him not a legitimate threat in any way. Jinyoung understood why he was confident, Knives were Yoongi’s specialty while Zico probably didn’t possess the talent to strike a knife out of the air. Against Yoongi, Zico was powerless.

“Come on Yoongi I was just having some fun,” Zico said with nonchalance, like throwing knives at Jinyoung’s face was no big deal.

“Well have your fun somewhere else Ji-ho,” Yoongi said. Yoongi was the picture of calm and secure in how quick he knew he could be. He could do anything he wanted to and Jinyoung understood that was true.

“Well what did this boy do to get you all under his spell?” Zico said with a laugh. Jinyoung then glanced and noticed Jackson standing on Jin’s side a protective look in his eyes over all of them. “I thought it was just Jaebum who was all over the kid. I guess not. What did you give them huh Jinyoung?” Zico eyed him up and down and Jinyoung was very uncomfortable with that look.

Jinyoung then noticed that Ji-hyun was still sitting where he was but he had his slingshot off his wrist and in it rested one of the stones he was working with earlier. It was another threat and he didn’t know if Yoongi could strike a heavy stone out of the air like he had the knife.

“Okay boys, I know testosterone is running high but let’s tone it down,” another voice spoke and Jinyoung saw the newcomer was Hyolyn. She had a smile on her face despite the tense situation. There was a hand on Jinyoung’s shoulder he knew who it was well he backed up and Jaebum put an arm around him, security. Jaebum moved him behind his own body, and Jinyoung let Jaebum stand protectively in front of him.

“You’re not involved in this Hyorin,” Ji-hyun said bitterly, “fuck off.”

“Well I am involving myself,” she declared, “but you’re already backing out right? Zico you know you can’t beat Yoongi so just back off. Save if for the arena.” Her last words were almost like a song. Jinyoung felt it would end, like the tension would end and he would be okay. They all glared at each other for another moment before Zico took a step back with a satisfied look on his face.

“The arena it is,” Zico said, “i’ll see you boys out there.” He looked directly at Jinyoung & for some reason Jinyoung felt that he was a target for a reason. The thought unnerved him. It was scary like it hadn’t been before. No one had ever looked at him with that much anger, not even President Yang. He realized then Jaebum was angry, he embraced the elder from behind in hopes of calming him and Jaebum shifted and put an arm around his shoulders and then he let go.

“Jinyoung let’s go,” he said and Jinyoung let go to follow him out of the training area and into the hallway. He didn’t know what Jaebum was about to say but he could tell that he was mad.

“Didn’t I make it clear with District 11 you shoot first and ask questions later especially with Zico?” Jaebum declared with anger. Jinyoung had never seen him that angry.

“I was just trying to make allies,” Jinyoung said, “I don’t know why you’re mad.”

“Because you don’t get it! Every single person in this game is angry!” Jaebum said, “they are all very angry that they are here and there is a ton of blame flying around. Most of the blame is in the right place some of it is obviously being pitted against you!”

“It shouldn’t be,” Jinyoung said, “I’m stuck here too!”

“They don’t care,” Jaebum shouted at him, “several of them are banding together and being encouraged by someone to target you. The game goes both ways Jinyoung. Many victors had good lives after their games not all of them lost it all. Zico has always played for the Capitol!” Jinyoung hadn’t been there to talk to Zico, he hadn’t been trying to make a mess of things. He had just been doing what he was told, something he hadn’t wanted to do in the first place.

“I wasn’t trying to approach Zico!” Jinyoung responded, he was frustrated. He was simply interested in the guy who had won with a slingshot, he didn’t think he was about to make a wrong move.

“Ji-hyun was Zico’s mentor,” Jaebum said, “they’ve always worked together on this. Ji-hyun taught Zico how to stay on Yang’s good side.” Jinyoung hadn’t been aware of that, the least Jaebum could have done was given him more information.

“I didn’t know...” Jinyoung began.

“Because you don’t think!” Jaebum declared, “at least 50% of the people here will be against you when the cannon blows, probably more. Just leave the ally thing to me now and focus on training!”

“I still don’t understand why your so mad,” Jinyoung’s voice was weaker than before. He didn’t have any energy for this. He was still worked up from what had happened and Jaebum had never yelled at him like that before. They’d had quite a few fights but Jaebum was always the patient one, it was usually Jinyoung yelling.

“Of course I’m mad Jinyoung, because what just happened shows that the guards don’t care what we do,” Jaebum replied, “and Zico could have killed you, the Capitol wouldn’t stop him.” There was real fear in his eyes, real belief that Jinyoung could have died. His heart rate increased.

“But they should intervene, that’s part of their game...” Jinyoung began.

“You’re their biggest problem right now,” Jaebum said, “they would be glad if someone took you out earlier and they would just replace you. They’d lose nothing and their biggest problem would be gone.” He’d never intended to be a problem to the Capitol, he was just trying to survive.

“But...” Jinyoung began.

“You know what I have a better idea,” Jaebum said, “You can leave the training room. Get on the elevator and hit the the 14th floor. BamBam, Yugyeom and Taehyung are up there. Spend time with them and sleep like you wanted to it’s too dangerous down here.” Jinyoung was overwhelmed, he’d been trying to do his job and now Jaebum was trying to send him away. He was shaking, he was afraid but he wasn’t a coward. He couldn’t just run away.

“I need to train,” Jinyoung said, his voice sounded so weak to his own ears.

“No you need to stay out of the line of fire,” Jaebum said, “I can handle the allies but I cannot do that and watch you the entire time.” Jinyoung didn’t understand why he was acting the way he was. Jinyoung wasn’t used to Jaebum being so protective, he was protective but he’d never gotten angry at Jinyoung before.

“You’re not in charge anymore,” Jinyoung said, “you’re not my mentor anymore, we’re the same. We’re both going to an arena where only one comes out. We both have a fight to fight. And I am not some fragile child you need to protect!” Jinyoung was angry because of how Jaebum was treating him. He was angry because he felt like Jaebum always acted like he was just a child who didn’t understand anything. But the fight ahead didn’t just belong to Jaebum.

It was Jinyoung’s fight as well. He wanted to be a part of it, not to be sidelined like he was someone that was of no good except to be protected by everyone else. He had the skills he needed to make a difference in the battle. Everyone was targeting him because he wasn’t someone who would go down easy.

“I am not running,” Jinyoung declared, “I am going back in there. I will finish the session and I will intimidate them. That’s what I need to do.” He pushed past Jaebum and walked in alone. He knew he openly wore his anger but he was okay with that. He strode to the weapons rack and looked at all the different weapons in front of him.

He knew exactly what he needed to do as he took the bow in his hands and grabbed the quiver of arrows. He could feel attention shifting towards him. He could see the scores Taeyeon had posted, he would have to do better to get the response he wanted. He set a training room to begin, they had to learn not to mess with him. He notched an arrow and took a deep breath.

The program began 3D Enemies began to appear he shot through each on with incredible speed. He dodged and changed positions fluidly as needed. As the program kept going more and more enemies appeared. He kept taking them down until he was out of arrows. It was just a warm up for him.

His score appeared on the screen 673 to Taeyeon’s 668. It wasn’t far enough off and he knew that he needed to do better. He collected the arrows and started the program on a harder setting. It began with more need for his quick movements. He got through with powerful agility, speed and strength.

The score on screen after his second run was 721, it was a big improvement but he wanted to go higher. Collecting the arrows was hard but he gladly picked up each one, anger was a fuel in his system. He knew his point would be proven on the third run. He already had more exact marks than Taeyeon. He wanted to do more, to be better. He wanted to put up a score she couldn’t catch.

He clicked it up to two levels harder. He ran through it at a high speed. He ducked when he needed to and fired back with all he could. He pulled it out and when he was done his score was 747 but it wasn’t enough for him. His goal was to break 800 before lunchtime came. Another harder round he reached 777, he smiled he had scored 100 points over Taeyeon’s best score but he was still unsatisfied. He put the levels up even higher and fought until his score reached 807. He had made his goal and he breathed in relief. The effort was exhausting but it was worth it. 

He turned his attention back to the training room to see everyone watching him. He smirked as he left the simulation room. It was almost time for lunch. He ignored the stares and went straight for where Jaebum sat back against one of the structures. He believed he proved his point exactly as he’d wanted to. He didn’t see anymore anger in Jaebum’s eyes, but rather there was pride there.

“I don’t want to run away anymore,” Jinyoung said as he approached Jaebum, he wanted the elder boy to understand him. To see that he needed to be stronger than he had been in the past, to see that he already was strong enough. Jaebum smiled at him, his eyes were warm when he smiled.

“Then keep doing that,” Jaebum respond and the elder embraced him but this was different than what he’d expected from Jaebum. He wasn’t held in comfort, Jaebum held him in an embrace of affection something much more fierce.

Jinyoung understood Jaebum didn’t protect him because he saw weakness, it was because Jaebum was afraid to lose him. Because Jaebum needed Jinyoung as much as Jinyoung needed him. The elders anger hadn’t fully subsided, he had a hard time just letting it go. But Jinyoung knew it for what it was and he hoped he could ease the elders mind a bit with the fight he’d just put up.

At lunch they sat with Yoongi and Seokjin but Jinyoung had someone attached to his side that he wanted to get rid of. Jackson had decided that lunch was his chance to practically smother Jinyoung once again. He was sure it was a plot made by his enemies to kill him. Jackson would get closer and then smother him in his sleep in the arena, Jinyoung could see it happening. None of the others seemed to care that he was there, nor that he was making Jinyoung uncomfortable once again.

“Jinyoungie when did you learn to use a bow?” Jackson asked him. He had actually been asking valid questions as if he was really trying to get to know Jinyoung. Considering how the others in his group saw Jackson as a friend Jinyoung guessed it was probably safe to answer at least a few of them.

“When I was a kid my little brother and I were starving,” Jinyoung said, “and I spent a lot of time in the woods hunting so we could eat.” It was a simple story, one the people of the Capitol couldn’t know due to hunting not being quiet legal. The people in the Capitol just assumed that he had a natural talent and had learned it in training. They were under the delusion that 3 days was enough to train proficiency in a difficult weapon like a bow.

“That’s actually really incredible,” Jin spoke up, “especially with how good you got.”

“Well with hunting you have to hit moving targets and I mostly hunted small game,” Jinyoung continued, “there are areas you have to land the hit to make sure you preserve the best meat.” He was always very good at hitting squirrels in the eyes and birds at just the right place. It was easier to sell small game than large.

“How did you master knives Yoongi?” Jinyoung was more curious about the other victor than he was interested in explaining his own story.

“Namjoon’s father taught use how to use several weapons,” Yoongi responded, “it was skills his father had taught him because of the constant threat of the games. I liked knives so I learned them.” He saw Jin and Yoongi exchange a look, but Jinyoung didn’t understand what it meant.

“What about you Jin?” Jinyoung asked, “how’d you get so good with plants in 5.”

“My mother was a herbalist,” Jin replied, “she taught me a lot about it. She would take me out into our woods when I was a kid and she taught me how to identify subtle differences between plants. Most importantly she taught me how to categorize them, how to determine poisons, food and what could be used to heal. She was really good at that sort of thing.” He knew his father was similarly interested in plant and herbal remedies in what he did medically.

“But what weapon will Jaebum use?” Jackson asked loudly, “you don’t have these skills that we have!” He declared. That declaration would have annoyed Jinyoung but as he thought about it Jaebum’s win was not through weapons. What would he use once the cannon sounded? 

“My weapon is my intellect,” Jaebum replied. Jinyoung smirked in response, it was the answer he should have expected. Jaebum was well read, very intelligent and capable. Still he wondered what else Jaebum could have up his sleeve.

“But that’s no fun!” Jackson declared. Jinyoung wanted to push him out of his chair.

“But it’s what I have,” Jaebum shrugged. Something behind his eyes made Jinyoung think there was more. Something the elder would not divulge to someone he did not trust. That made Jinyoung think that he didn’t fully trust Jackson.

“What about you Jackson?” Jinyoung asked. “Where did you learn to use a saber?” He wanted to put Jackson in the same position they’d all been put in, he wanted to see how the other boy would react.

“I didn’t,” Jackson shrugged, “I just picked it up in training before the games and it worked out.” That was an odd thing to pick up. He was really good not just mildly good, Jinyoung had glanced at his scores on the board. Jackson was outpacing everyone else who had trained with swords by a massive difference. It made no sense for someone to pick that up in three days of training before the games. Jinyoung had learned swords right before his games and he hadn’t gotten good at all.

"That's odd," Jinyoung commented.

"How so?" Jackson asked.

"It's not easy to train mastery in three days," Jinyoung said. Jackson seemed to catch his tone of voice. His cheerier demeanor faded and his next words were serious.

"Well I have had a few years with it since then," Jackson stated defensively, "I didn't just stop working with it after the games." That made more sense. Jinyoung watched though as Jackson had changed, something about his expression was darker. It was like he realized that Jinyoung didn't trust him. Jinyoung felt bad but he had good reason to be concerned with who to trust. Every tribute posed a threat in the game ahead of them and Jinyoung wouldn't lose another one of the people he cared about to trusting the wrong person.

After lunch training began again. Jinyoung decided to focus on training since his first attempt at finding allies hadn’t gone so well. He decided to spend some time training with swords after considering what benefits each weapon could have. His final battle the year before had come down to the sword skills Minho had taught him. He hadn’t spent any time practicing them since the games had ended.

He walked to the racks and picked up a sword that reminded him of one he had used the year before. He stepped into a training room and set the program to a low level he knew he could do well with. He worked through it but it was much more difficult than he remembered. It took a lot of strength from his back that he wasn’t used to using. He didn’t remember it being as hard the year before, but he guessed his back was stronger from working in the mines.

He sighed when he saw that his score was 312, it was much lower than everyone else who had been training with swords. He glanced over the names, Jackson was at the top but he noticed Jaebum was also on the board. He was under the program for training with axes, and his score was only a bit behind Hyolyn's. The elder was training weapons. Jinyoung would have to ask him about it later.

He also noticed Jaebum’s name on the archery board, and he looked over to see the elder trying out one of the bows. He smiled as he saw Jaebum focus on the target ahead, and he saw the person with him was Heechul. Jinyoung turned back to the settings of the program he was working with, he would have to find something that was easier for him to handle. He was working on picking a simulation when a familiar voice called his name.

"Jinyoungie," he turned to see Jackson leaning on the wall with a sword in his hand, the one that was much lighter than the one Jinyoung was training with.

"Your stance is all wrong!" Jackson declared, "that's why your struggling. And you're just waving it around randomly. You need to move fluidly! Anticipate the others moves and counter them!" Jackson was streaming off these words but Jinyoung didn't want his help. He didn’t really want someone to train him with swords ever again.

"Here," Jackson dropped his own sword walked to him. He moved Jinyoung's arms and pushed at his legs before Jinyoung could stop him. He’d dealt with Minho helping him the year before, he didn’t think he could handle another person messing with his head the way Minho had.

"Jacskon I don't want your help," Jinyoung said strongly but he didn't seem to care as his hands were still moving.

"Hold it like this," Jackson said. Before Jinyoung knew it Jackson's arms were around him. Jackson had his hands over Jinyoung's holding onto the sword and pointing it forward. "You need to be light and agile with your movements." His voice was right in Jinyoung's ear. It was irritating to Jinyoung that Jackson clearly didn't care about his personal space. "You need to use the sword like it is an extension of your body.”

"What does that even mean," Jinyoung questioned. He turned to face Jackson, their faces were closer than he was prepared for. The other boy was smiling at him, his eyes twinkling as he did.

"I'll show you if you want?" Jackson asked. Jinyoung was surprised he was even asking with how pushy he seemed to be. Jinyoung eyed him but began to think that maybe there was no harm in working with him just a little. The way he was looking at Jinyoung was kindly, it was sincere and Jinyoung decided to let his guard down just a little.

"Sure," he responded warily, he didn't know what Jackson was playing at. He seemed very excited that Jinyoung had agreed. He let go and hopped to where he left his sword. He picked it up and bounded back to Jinyoung.

"Okay so your center controls each movement," Jackson began. He executed a series of fluid swipes and strikes. Jinyoung was in awe of how easy it was for him to move but it was also very reminiscent of someone he didn't want to think about. Jackson lowered his sword.

"When you lift make sure your feet are in a strong stance,” Jackson said. Jinyoung put his feet in the position that Jackson showed him and lifted his sword. His right hand held it but there was a nervous energy ticking through his body. His left first curled, his chest tightened. Who was he facing friend or foe? He wasn’t sure he could make that determination when he’d been in the same position before.

"Depending on which move I make I will teach you the counter moves," Jackson said. He waved his sword and hit Jinyoung's. Jinyoung stepped back instead of trying to catch it. "Don't back down." Jackson moved forward to be back in front of Jinyoung, "you don't want to lose ground in an attack."

"If I come from here," Jackson said, "you need to block the counter like this." he showed the next move. "You got it?" Jackson asked. Jinyoung nodded and when Jackson attacked Jinyoung tried to copy the move he had shown. But it was all very much close to memories he hadn’t gone over in quite some time.

"It's not quite like that," Jackson corrected, "it's like this.” He showed Jinyoung against his own sword. Jinyoung's mind couldn't help but imagine a darkened field of snow. A fire crackling. Himself standing with a sword in hand and charging forward against a wounded opponent. The things Minho had said in training, the way he had extended his hand as a friend...

All that had led to one thing. It hadn't been anything he had wanted. He still hadn't talked it through with anyone. He just couldn't erase it. He couldn't make it go away.

He had trusted Minho...

Minho had killed Jungkook...

Minho killed himself.

Jinyoung dropped his sword. His skin was sweating as the memories faded and he looked at Jackson. The tribute looked confused. He saw genuine concern in Jackson’s eyes but it didn’t matter. Everything was too close to what he’d experienced before. He breathed deep.

"Are you okay?" Jackson asked him. Jinyoung didn't want to be there anymore.

"I've got to go," Jinyoung said quickly. He took quick shaky strides out of the room to the main hall past tributes that were all watching him. He wanted to get out of sight. The doors were in front of him and he pushed through them quickly. His body was all pressure and tension he had controlled it as much as he could for as long as he could.

He was out of sight when he fell to his knees and curled up on the floor to give himself something to hold onto. His breathing wasn't out of control like it often got but he felt like he was suffocating. He felt like the room was spinning, memories ran through his head like a curse he couldn’t outrun. He heard footsteps. Someone was there. They didn't sound like Jaebum's heavy footsteps and the thought that it could be an enemy frightened him. 

"Jinyoung, you're going to be okay," He knew the voice, it was Jin's voice. He opened his eyes and was pulled into Jin's arms. Comfort given, not from someone he would have expected. Maybe someone he should have. 

He let himself cry. 

Seokjin patted his back, as if he completely understood what was going on. He probably did. He had gotten two tributes back, he knew what the games were like. He knew what it was like to live them, to watch them and to once again be forced to relive them. He knew all about the fear and the pain that came with a win.

"Come on Jinyoung-ah," Seokjin said softly, "let's get you out of here." Jinyoung nodded against him. He was supported as he stood up and he was taken to the elevator. If it had been anyone else he would have had an instinct to fight but it was Seokjin, he knew the other tribute was a friend he could trust. He knew Jin would never hurt him because of Jungkook. He was take to a floor he didn't recognize. He was sure it was the residence of the tributes of District 5.

"Namjoon-ah," Seokjin called out as he helped Jinyoung in. Namjoon came out of one of the rooms and helped, they got Jinyoung to sit down on the couch. He cried more, into Seokjin's shoulder. He was glad they had brought him away from where anyone else could see him breakdown.

"It was my fault," he finally said something of what plagued him.

"Nothing was your fault," Jin said to him, "nothing."

"But it was," Jinyoung cried. That was all he had ever felt, that Jungkook had died because of him. That he had died because Jinyoung had made the wrong decisions and trusted the wrong person.

"You can let it out here," Seokjin told him as he rubbed a comforting hand against his back, "you can say whatever you need to say, but it wasn't your fault. You did everything you could." And Jinyoung knew that the elder read what was wrong, these people knew this was always about Jungkook. Yet they didn't blame him. His shoulders shook as he sobbed, they should have blamed him. He was the one who caused it.

"He did what he had to," Namjoon spoke softly, "Jungkook did everything he had to. That wasn't your fault." Jinyoung shook his head.

"If I hadn't trained with Minho," Jinyoung said, "if I hadn't trusted him it wouldn't have happened." 

"You don't know that," Jin replied, "nothing was in your favor, everything went wrong there, yes but it would have gone wrong somewhere else if not there. You did all you could, and you couldn't change Jungkook's decision. No one forced him to jump in front of that sword, it was his choice Jinyoung-ah. He was so brave, he knew what he was doing and he wanted to make that choice.”

"But if I hadn't..." Jinyoung began again. He couldn't say anymore, he was overwhelmed. Everything hurt, the hurts ran so deep he couldn't claw them out if he tried. He couldn't turn back time and change everything like he so desperately wanted to. He wanted to change it so badly so that he could save Jungkook like Jungkook had saved him. Everything went so wrong from what he’d wanted. 

"The only one to blame has always been Yang," Namjoon said, "he created the game that called upon Jungkook to enter that arena. After the arena ended we have had hope, because we believe in you. We knew how easily the game would go wrong. We were always prepared for the outcome of Jungkook not coming home. It hurts so much, that is the true reality of loss. It hurts to lose someone you love. But that doesn't mean we shouldn't try to go on. Jungkook chose to save you, because he loved you. No matter what changed he would do it again a hundred times.”

"That's what love is Jinyoung-ssi. When someone loves you so much they would die for you," Namjoon said, "that should inspire you to go on. Yes it will hurt forever, but you will get stronger from it. We will all face death, not all of us will face it together at the same time but it is a part of who we are. It is a journey that we will all take alone in the end."

"I think you're learning to understand," Seokjin said softly, "you were important to him. Honor him Jinyoung-ah and keep fighting. Don't let anything stop you from standing again because he didn’t want you to die, he wanted you to live and to really truly live." He felt comforted by words from people he barely knew yet felt connected to. That small boy had connected them even though he wasn’t there with them.

"We promise," Namjoon said, "no matter what comes, you won't have to do this on your own."

"You never walk alone," Jin said the final words he heard. He fell asleep from the exhaustion of what these things did to his body. He had been reminded a hundred times but it would probably take a hundred more. He was thankful that people around him were patient and would never give up on him.

\- - - - -

"You're doing very well," Hyolyn called over as Jaebum finished up another run with axes. He had spent a lot of time with enough of the tributes to have already made a short list of which allies he would chose. Hyolyn was the first person on that list because he knew her well enough to know that he could trust her.

She had told him years ago someday she believed a different sort of game would happen. She believed that the Capitol would eventually punish the victors. For years they had watched everything get taken from them and for years they learned to fight back in subtle ways and in more overt ways. All of them knew how to defy the Capitol and that the could get away with quite a bit after Yang had taken so much from them.

Hyolyn was working on a climbing apparatus and when Jaebum looked around for Jinyoung he was surprised when his eyes couldn't find the younger. He walked by the rack and hung up the axe before glancing around for anything suspicious. That's when he saw Yoongi doing something he didn’t expect. Yoongi had Jackson pushed back against a wall looking scared for his life. 

Jaebum was confused by what he was seeing. He walked towards the two of them unsure what kind of argument could be going on. Jackson was a good friend of Namjoon's and someone they had always trusted. He had Jackson on his list of allies as well and he didn’t expect anything particularly wrong from him.

“What’s going on?” Jaebum demanded. He had a feeling it had something to do with Jinyoung. Seokjin was also missing from the training arena. The guards were once again not interfering with a fight which made him nervous. 

“I didn’t do anything,” Jackson complained, “I was just trying to help!”

“What happened?” Jaebum demanded again.

“Jinyoung ran out a few minutes ago,” Yoongi said, “he was working with this idiot before then which is not a coincidence.” Jaebum had noticed Jinyoung had gone to the swords but he thought the younger was alone. He realized quickly what went wrong.

“Yoongi let him go,” Jaebum declared and Yoongi did without question. Maybe he assumed Jaebum was going to hit Jackson but Jaebum knew better than that.

“It’s not your fault,” Jaebum said, “he shouldn’t be training swords with anyone. If he goes to it leave him alone.” Jackson looked confused.

“I was just trying to help,” Jackson said, “he needed it.” Jaebum didn’t doubt that Jackson could be of great help to Jinyoung but given his past experience with training it wasn’t a good idea for someone to help him. He likely had associated Jackson with Minho, Jaebum knew just how triggering that could be to him.

“He’s a new victor Jackson,” Jaebum had to make Jackson understand, “this year has been very hard on him. The main reason I would discourage trying again is this, he trained with Minho before the last games. He has bad associations with alliance and betrayal wrapped around what happened with Minho.” Jaebum felt he needed to inform Yoongi as well as Jackson. Jackson really meant no harm, it had just been a mistake.

“I remember what it was like the first year as a mentor,” Jackson responded, “and he has to go back in.” He looked sad. “I get it, I was honestly just trying to help.” He knew Jackson was trying to befriend Jinyoung, and Jinyoung was very obvious in his dislike of the District 4 tribute.

“I believe you,” Jaebum said. He looked around to see other tributes were watching them. Zico and Ji-hyun were the ones who he wanted to avoid the most. He didn’t like the looks on their faces, and he didn’t like how they looked at Jinyoung.

“Where is Jinyoung now?” Jaebum asked Yoongi, he knew what the most likely answer was.

“Jin has him,” Yoongi said but he stopped there. Jaebum got the implication. If Jinyoung was up in District 5’s residence he would have to ride there with Yoongi. A tribute needed their fingerprint to gain access to the floor they were living on. Because Jaebum lived at the penthouse on top of the building when he scanned into the elevator it wne there.

“This could be a good opportunity,” Jaebum said as he glanced around, “but we don’t want to the others to catch wind of anything. Jackson you’re going to stage a falling out with us and walk away as if we are angry with each other. I want you to try to get a gauge on what the others are planning. Yoongi and I will go check on Jinyoung and make sure he’s okay.” Jackson understood, Jaebum knew that.

“Are you kidding me Im!” Jackson shouted and pushed at him, immediately jumping in on the plan willingly. Jaebum knew he could count on Jackson to do a good job. He pushed back harder and set his jaw in anger.

“Just walk away Wang,” Jaebum shouted with all the anger he could, “and I don’t want to catch you near him again!” It was best they made the argument about what it was originally about, Jackson training with Jinyoung. The others would understand and see the opportunity to scoop up another ally.

“I don’t take orders from you Im, you better watch your back you son of a bitch,” Jackson shouted before walking off. Jaebum glared at him, he didn’t break character as he turned to Yoongi so they could head up after the others.

“Did you all notice immediately?” Jaebum asked him with his voice tone quiet, “when Jinyoung walked off.”

“Jin noticed,” Yoongi spoke dryly, “he noticed what Zico was doing earlier as well. He’s taking the operation to protect Jinyoung very seriously. Don’t tell him this but I think it might have been good for Jin to volunteer like he did.”

“I didn’t know anyone would make a move on Jinyoung so early,” Jaebum responded. He was mad at himself for not seeing anything coming. He’d been completely blind to what Ji-hyun and Zico were doing.

“Well Zico’s a hothead but he’s got nothing on us,” Yoongi said, “I could beat him blindfolded.” 

“Zico’s not my biggest concern,” Jaebum replied, “Ji-hyun and Jay have been talking, Lee Joon and Seung-ho as well. It’s going to be dangerous if they form a big alliance in response to us we need to fracture and seem less organized than we are.”

“What do you mean?” Yoongi asked.

“I mean let Sandara pick up the rest of the alliances for us,” Jaebum said, “play like we’re still fighting Jackson. They don’t know Sandara is with us yet so let her work the others. Hyolyn can be the go between with all of us.” He didn’t want the others to know that almost half the tributes were on their side. If they found out it would be a war between two large groups of tributes and that mess was one they were not prepared for.

“That’s a good plan,” Yoongi said they made it to the elevators and Yoongi placed his fingerprint and hit their floor.

“I just wish I could lay it out for Jinyoung,” Jaebum responded, “everyone’s watching him too closely, he can’t be too friendly with anyone. And Yang’s got eyes on him too so he can’t know what we’re planning.” He hated keeping Jinyoung in the dark, it reminded him too much of the year before.

“He’s a good kid,” Yoongi said, “he doesn’t deserve having those damned assholes trying to hurt him.”

“Well they know about us so we’ll keep it to that,” Jaebum said, “everyone else must keep their distance till arena. We’ll come up with a way for Jinyoung to identify allies so he knows who to trust.”

“Jin could probably figure that out,” Yoongi said as the elevator opened to their floor. Jaebum followed Yoongi to the main room and found Jin sitting next to Jinyoung who had fallen asleep curled up in his side on the couch. Namjoon was talking to Jin very quietly.

“Thank you for taking care of him,” Jaebum said. He bowed in respect for them. He was glad to see Jinyoung was sleeping, that meant whatever emotions he was feeling he had spent them.

“It wasn’t a problem,” Jin responded, “but what he’s been thinking about himself is.” Jaebum nodded he knew well. Jinyoung was making strides but he would deal with so much of it for the rest of his life and a year wasn’t enough time to process through what he’d endured. More would be added to it with a second arena. Jaebum wished more than anything that he could take the youngers fears but he could only help him through them.

“He was talking about Jungkook,” Namjoon said the edge in his voice was clear. “He still blames himself for what happened.” Jaebum did know that as well.

“I think in a way we all blame ourselves,” Yoongi said, his voices sounded sadder than Jaebum had ever heard it, “even if we all know who is to blame.” He knew that Yoongi was close with the younger boy, he saw it in the way Yoongi broke when he died.

“I know,” Jaebum said, “it’s too easy to blame ourselves.”

“I think he just needed to hear it from us, that no one blames him,” Jin said, “we can’t leave him alone tomorrow either, I watched over him but it would have been better if none of this happened. We have two days to go and we need them to go by without any damaging incidents. Jinyoung can’t fall apart on us in the area. We are protecting him yes but we need his skills. We need him at his best.”

“I agree,” Namjoon said, “there will be a lot of ranged weapons users out there. We have Yoongi and if Jinyoung is at his best we will have the upper hand.”

“I know,” Jaebum sat next to Jin and Jinyoung, “I still worry about him.”

“We all do,” Yoongi interjected a simple three words. They all did worry. So much hung off Jinyoung’s shoulders, he was the center of everything even though he had never wanted to be. He had only been trying to get home, and so much happened to change his trajectory.

“I am glad he is learning,” Jaebum began, “that I am not the only person looking out for him. Thank you again. He needs this.” He felt that Yoongi, Namjoon and Jin could make a huge difference in Jinyoung’s recovery. Jinyoung had only had Jaebum for the whole year, but he needed more than just Jaebum. If something happened to him, he wanted to know that Jinyoung had good people around him who had his best interests at heart.

“You can count on us for anything,” Namjoon said, “we’re going to keep looking out for him like he looked out for Jungkook.” Jaebum nodded, he was grateful to the small boy who had done so much for them even with such a simple act of sacrifice. He wished he would have gotten to know the boy.

“We need to keep making plans,” Jaebum said, “we’re going to need a few more on our team if District 11 teams up with the careers.”

“We don’t know who else the leader picked either,” Namjoon replied.

“We’ll find out soon enough,” Jaebum said he knew that was true. Whatever allies on the board were slowly coming to them and would continue to be revealed.

“Are you going back down there today?” Jin asked him.

“No,” Jaebum said, “I should probably get Jinyoung back upstairs and recuperated for tomorrow but I will do no more today.” Jinyoung’s well being was more important to him at the moment than continuing his own training.

“Is Jackson really on our side?” Yoongi raised a question he knew would be thrown out there several times throughout the days to come.

“Yes,” Jaebum said, “I believe that he is.”

“He definitely couldn’t have known simple training could set this off,” Seokjin said in Jackson’s defense.

“But it’s more than that,” Jaebum said, “he showed me his game piece. He’s with us.” The alliances weren’t as simple as finding people to agree to ally with them. They needed to find the people their leader had hand picked, the people who held the chess pieces.

“What was it?” Seokjin asked. Jaebum pulled his own out and placed it on the table in the room. Namjoon followed so did Jin and Yoongi. Jaebum hadn’t seen their pieces but he had always know that they had them. Seokjin had a rook and the other two held bishops this confirmed more that Jackson’s piece wasn’t a repeat that he shouldn’t have.

“Jackson has a knight,” Jaebum said. It was a piece that made sense for Jackson and made sense in light of what was being planned. None of them held pieces that would be out of the scope of the game and he looked to how Jinyoung slept soundly, oblivious to the game being built around him. They all knew Jinyoung was their king and that it was their job to keep him safe. 

“Well then,” Yoongi said of Jackson, “we’ll have to trust that he can get the information we need.” Jaebum nodded in agreement. The game had just barely begun but already he was finding things to be more difficult and more confusing. He stayed a bit longer to talk more about their plan. He hadn’t wanted to wake Jinyoung up but it came time to go up and he knew the younger would want to say goodbye and to thank them for all their help.

“Jinyoung-ah,” he moved Jinyoung into sitting position and the younger woke up and leaned on him. He was under so much pressure, Jinyoung saw it in how he moved, how he held himself. He just wanted Jinyoung to be released from that pressure. Jaebum was glad that least he knew where he was and that he was safe with the people around him. They said their goodbyes, Jinyoung seemed more than grateful for their help. Jaebum was glad he had them. He was glad that they had friends they could count on to see things through.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was going to hold off on this chapter but it was done so here you go.
> 
> The next chapter is called "Can I Still Dream."
> 
> JJ Project's journey will continue.
> 
> What do you think of the slow burn so far?
> 
> Comment and let me know, thank you for your comments so far I love them.


	11. Can I Still Dream?

When they got back up to the penthouse Jinyoung went straight to Jaebum’s room to sleep the rest of the day away. Jaebum could clearly see the the exhaustion in his eyes wasn’t physical but mental. Training hadn’t been easy on him, the next day things wouldn’t be either. At least with Jackson working to undermine the others they would have some sort of knowledge of what the others were planning.

When it was time to eat Jaebum woke up Jinyoung by sitting next to him and pulling him up into his arms. Jinyoung’s eyes opened lazily and he returned the embrace almost automatically. Jaebum smiled, he always liked how Jinyoung fit so perfectly even when it was just a game to him. Those days had long passed and he knew what he felt for Jinyoung, he knew those feelings only grew each day they spent together. He felt a bit of nervousness in his heart every time Jinyoung looked at him because he didn’t know if Jinyoung had also fallen for him.

Jinyoung settled his head as if he was going to just fall asleep again in Jaebum’s arms. Jaebum loved it, he loved everything Jinyoung did. He loved how Jinyoung felt comfortable enough to lean all his weight into him, he loved it when Jinyoung would just put his arms around him and sleep. He wanted to kiss the top of his head from how cute Jinyoung looked the way he held on to him but Jaebum resisted.

“It’s time for dinner Jinyoung-ah,” Jaebum whined. He wouldn’t let Jinyoung skip dinner even if his actions were cute. The younger’s lips formed into a pout but he kept his eyes closed where he was. “If you don’t get up I am just going to carry you out of bed.” Jaebum patted his head lightly.

“No,” Jinyoung whined. He stretched his limbs in protest and settled back against Jaebum. Jaebum wanted to give in and just lay with Jinyoung the rest of the evening, he knew how precious those moments were. He knew how easily it could all be taken away from them given the fight ahead of them.

“It is very important to eat balanced nutritious meals,” Jaebum replied, “that is why you need to get up now.” Jinyoung showed no sign of wanting to move and Jaebum completely understood but he knew after dinner they could spend the rest of the night cuddling if Jinyoung wanted. Jaebum certainly wouldn’t complain. So Jaebum stood up and lifted Jinyoung and stood him up next to him. Jinyoung pushed away from him clearly upset by Jaebum’s actions.

“Go away Jaebum,” Jinyoung said with frustration. He jumped back into bed and pulled the covers over his head. Jaebum almost laughed at how petty he was being.

“If you don’t get up now I will send Taehyung in here to jump on the bed till you do,” Jaebum threatened. He then pulled the covers off Jinyoung and threw them across the room. Jinyoung glared at him like he was going to kill him, Jaebum just smirked in response. Then Jinyoung turned on his back and looked up at Jaebum with the most pitiful look on his face that Jaebum had ever seen. He knew at that moment that he’d already given in to the younger boy. Jinyoung did have a stressful day and Jaebum knew in the arena he wouldn’t get a chance to sleep things off. 

“If you promise to get breakfast in the morning without complaint,” Jaebum placed a condition on Jinyoung even though he knew he’d already given in. He had no chance against the younger.

“I’ll promise if you give my blankets back,” Jinyoung whined and Jaebum picked them up then carefully spread them over Jinyoung who looked happy with winning. It was never about anything but winning with him and even though Jaebum knew that he still let Jinyoung win. 

“I promise,” Jinyoung responded before he curled up and closed his eyes. Jaebum left the room and sighed. He knew he shouldn’t let Jinyoung have his way so much, it was getting to a point where Jinyoung could get anything out of him. Not that he wanted to push Jinyoung too hard, he just wished everything wasn’t a game. He wished Jinyoung could see the how important everything he did really was. 

“You give in way to easy,” the words said came from Hani who had raised eyebrows as she watched him leave the room. Jaebum closed the door behind him and rolled his eyes at her. She had no idea what he had to deal with.

“You try to say no to that kid when he really wants something,” Jaebum said. She raised her brows even higher at him and he wasn’t aware her face could move so much.

“Unlike you I could do it,” she said, “anyone else here could.” He believed she was right, and that was probably true. He had a weakness when it came to Jinyoung, he wanted to give Jinyoung the whole world. He wanted to take away the things that haunted him so he could be happy again.

“He had a bad day Hani,” Jaebum defended his own actions, “if you had been there you’d understand that this behavior is justified on his part.” She sighed and rolled her eyes.

“Well he needs to stop having bad days,” she responded, “he needs to be ready in a few days, there is no getting out of what is coming and you can’t baby him once the arena begins.” He knew that well but hearing it from her was odd. He knew she always played off at being more naive than she was but he wasn’t sure how much she actually understood about what was going on.

“What do you think you know Hani?” Jaebum asked her, he felt like there was more to what she was saying. She’d been clearly on their side through many things that happened. She smiled and pulled something from her sleeve. 

“I know everything,” she said and she held up a white rook then turned walked back towards the main room. He was stunned. He hadn’t expected Hani to be one of the people holding a game piece. He assumed a majority of them would be tributes going into the games, not people on the outside.

“What the hell?” He found himself asking to no one in particular. He knew he had to find the other knight now and he understood suddenly that may not be among the tributes. He should have realized it earlier since Jin wasn’t supposed to be in the arena and his piece was the other rook. Maybe just rooks were meant to be on the outside. He had no way of finding out the details of what went into deciding their allies, nor what Hani could add to the team. He walked after her.

“Since when are you on our side?” He asked. Sure she’d helps out a few times, but she was one of the people in the Capitol he knew acted the most like what he would expect. She seemed to be fond of her lifestyle, and patriotic about the way their country was. He would have expected her to be on the President’s side.

“I have always been on your side dear boy,” she said with a smirk, “it’s due to your own hubris that you didn’t notice. But really Jaebum how else did you expect to get outside help this go round?” He was stunned, she would be negotiating for them? He’d known they’d be at a disadvantage without a mentor, but he’d hoped Jinyoung’s star power could overcome that issue. He’d never expected someone else to fill the role. 

“You’re seriously going to be...” he began to speak only to get cut off by her.

“I’ve played this game longer than even you,” Hani said, “but really who do you think tipped off the press to watch both of you together? I am on my victors side and I knew the public would eat up the way you two are with each other. It’s precious really how much you care about him and he cares about you.” Jaebum glared, of all the things in their plans he knew selling image was important to win but he hated it.

“What else are you planning?” Jaebum asked.

“I am not at liberty to divulge but JYP and I are working on it,” she responded, “just do your job and make sure Jinyoung is ready. We can’t have anything fall apart before we’ve really begun.” With that she walked off towards her own room leaving Jaebum shaking his head. There was a lot more to the game he probably couldn’t see. He’d been foolish to think things would be just between the victors, he wondered if BamBam and Taehyung held pieces as well? Suddenly the picture had expanded for him.

— — — — —

_𝘚𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘧𝘦𝘭𝘭_

_𝘪𝘵 𝘦𝘹𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘪𝘯 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘢𝘸_

_𝘧𝘭𝘶𝘳𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘪𝘤𝘦 𝘥𝘢𝘯𝘤𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘥 𝘧𝘭𝘢𝘮𝘦𝘴_

_𝘈 𝘴𝘭𝘰𝘸 𝘣𝘶𝘳𝘴𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘮𝘦𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘴, 𝘢 𝘴𝘩𝘢𝘥𝘰𝘸 𝘰𝘧 𝘱𝘢𝘪𝘯._

_𝘐 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘱𝘭𝘢𝘤𝘦._

_𝘛𝘰 𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘱𝘢𝘴𝘵 𝘣𝘦𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘥._

_**𝘽𝙪𝙩 𝙄 𝙘𝙖𝙣'𝙩.** _

_𝘛𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘐 𝘬𝘯𝘦𝘸 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘤𝘦𝘳𝘵𝘢𝘪𝘯._

_𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘪𝘤𝘦 𝘤𝘳𝘶𝘯𝘤𝘩𝘦𝘥 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘦𝘢𝘤𝘩 𝘳𝘪𝘴𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘧𝘢𝘭𝘭._

_𝘕𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘳𝘦𝘭𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘪𝘵𝘴 𝘴𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘥𝘴._

_𝘔𝘺 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘵 𝘰𝘯𝘤𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘥 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘱𝘭𝘢𝘤𝘦._

_𝘏𝘦 𝘧𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘥 𝘩𝘪𝘮𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧 𝘭𝘰𝘰𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘣𝘢𝘤𝘬 𝘢𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘤𝘩𝘪𝘭𝘥𝘩𝘰𝘰𝘥._

_𝘈𝘭𝘭 𝘐 𝘴𝘢𝘸..._

_𝘐𝘵 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘰𝘯 𝘧𝘪𝘳𝘦._

_**𝙄𝙩 𝙬𝙖𝙨 𝙖𝙡𝙡 𝙘𝙤𝙢𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙙𝙤𝙬𝙣.** _

— — — — —

Jinyoung woke to the sound of a gust of wind but when he opened his eyes in the dark room there was nothing that could have caused that sound. He breathed deep and registered that Jaebum's arm was slung loosely around him as the elder breathed heavily with the sounds of sleep. He was’t held in Jaebum’s normal grip, perhaps that was because he fell asleep before Jaebum had even gone to bed. His heart was pounding as he listened for the sounds inside his own head but there was nothing that could have matched what he heard. He looked over at Jaebum and found the elder was fast asleep.

He slid out from under Jaebum's arm, he was thankful he wasn’t held in Jaebum’s normal grip for that night. He pulled a sweater out from the closet and put it on. As he did he realized it was one of Jaebum’s, it fit his frame loosely around the shoulders but he didn’t mind. After that he left the room. He walked carefully through the dark penthouse before he remembered the watch he always wore. He turned on the light and found stairs he knew would be there.

It was a completely different building but he still believed their floor would have access to the roof and he was right. The stairs led him up and from the roof he saw stars shining dimly from the lights of the big city. He turned off the light on his watch and looked up to them. He’d forgotten how dim they were with the lights of the city drowning them out. He never liked how the stars looked in the Capitol, everything about it was wrong. Even if it was wrong he knew they were the same stars his brother saw. 

He remembered Youngjae's face the morning of the reaping and the way his younger brother had cried. He remembered the way his father had pulled Youngjae into his arms and told him Jinyoung would come home. The way Mark had held his hand tightly as they waited for the peacekeepers to come for them. His family was all he’d wanted to protect when he had volunteered for the games. Winning wasn’t on his mind for any other reason but to be able to return to his brother, yet everything had changed in the arena. Things happened that he couldn’t take back or explain away.

What fate had brought him to the place he stood? What forces had worked to tear him from his family again? He’d never imagined then that it was possible that he’d face the arena again. Once was enough to break him.

He looked over the city towards what was beyond I; he looked towards where each district lay. He looked out towards a people who he knew were crying out in pain. The people of the districts had been oppressed so long, it was crazy to think the actions of one person could really change things. Was he enough for it? Why was everyone looking to him? 

Would any of the fight ahead be worth it? He’d never wanted a war, he’d never tried to make himself a symbol. He knew how easily things could turn the wrong way. The outcome of a war could very easily go to the Capitol and to Yang. In that outcome he was sure he and his family would die. He’d never asked for that. He just wanted to go home, he wanted to be back with his brother safe. He wanted to hold Youngjae and tell him everything was going to be alright.

Youngjae was someone he didn't want to think about every moment because when he did it hurt so much. But he’d began his journey to protect his brother, it was hard to separate that from his mind when people looked at him with hope. He kept reminding himself of what he’d really wanted.

He had protected his brother his whole life, that was all he knew. He never allowed himself to think that there was any other option. He’d always been able to protect Youngjae but he didn't know if he was strong enough to protect all of them… That was what he was being asked to do. To fight for something so much bigger than himself, to protect the children of a nation. He was nothing next to the might of the Capitol, it wasn’t who he’d set out to be.

He wanted to give up, to just throw in and tell people to stop looking to him. At the same time he didn't. He didn’t want people to give up their hope, and he felt if he’d supplied even a bit of it that it was enough.

He wanted to dream beautiful dreams, not more nightmares. He wanted to dream of a better world, of a world where he would never have had to leave his home behind for a fight to the death. He wanted to dream up a world where Youngjae's name would never have been drawn and he wanted to give that world to the families he’d seen in the district. But he wasn’t enough. He couldn’t do it.

What cruel fate had decided to ?

Why did everything have to be stolen away from him? He’d changed so much since the first games and he knew there was no way to avoid being different after the second one. Every single time he’d felt like there was hope again it was torn away. He never asked for any of it. Before he had just wanted to survive in the world that was against him but looking out to the city with new eyes he saw the oppression and he wanted to see it fall.

It was all built on the pain of millions of people. Everything the Capitol had was lies, and people lived in those lies because of those who they destroyed. Every child in every arena just wanted to go home. Every child in the arena was just like him, they just wanted to escape. He felt more like a child than ever before when he saw the victors around him. They had all been like him once, they all had different stories of pain he knew he couldn’t fully understand. 

He felt like he never left the Capitol considering his games had just happened a year before. But he understood every victor was the same, they were haunted by being there and reminded of the things they’d been through. They wanted out of the game they were forced into but through the years they’d remained in it only to be reaped once again.

Maybe that was what he needed to remind them all, that they were all the same. They didn't need to fight each other, this wasn't about just them. The fight ahead was about the people who had forced them to become murderers, and about every child who died in the arena. Perhaps every single person entering the arena with him just needed to be reminded of who the real enemy was. The real enemy was every single person who agreed with all this and the man who stood over it all. Every single person who upheld the games had blood on their hands but the real enemy was President Yang who watched over and controlled them all.

What fate had led him to the place he stood?

What dreams had he lost for all of what was in front of him? Had he ever even had dreams? He’d never even imagined it was possible to break free of the life he lived. Survival was innate to him, what he needed to do. At some point that had become all he was, just a child trying to survive and trying to keep his family alive. Things had changed in so many ways.

He didn't know who he was anymore. What he did know was that he didn't want anyone to hurt anymore. He knew whatever was coming would hurt. He didn’t belong to himself anymore, perhaps he never had. Yet ever since the arena he had belonged to the people of the districts. He was their hope even if he had to bankrupt his own to give to to them..

He was their victor, their sacrifice. If he was their savior he would have to carry it all for them. He wasn’t ready to be seen as such but it was inescapable.

Sana had warned him, she had told him it would come to this. Jungkook had saved him. BamBam had built him. And Jaebum had thrown him out to the fire, to be just that.

Before even really knowing him Jaebum had done everything he could to make Jinyoung what he’d become. It hurt so much to always know that despite how far they’d come. He could see Jaebum regretted his own actions but none of it could be undone. He hadn't seen back then how far Jinyoung would break down but all along Jinyoung knew that he hadn't completely lost.

That alone seemed to say he was strong enough to bear it. And perhaps he would be strong enough to bear much more than he could know. He certainly didn't have to chose the path on front of him. He could have easily killed Minho, then maybe he would have been just a victor and nothing more. Even then it might not have mattered. President Yang might have still found fault with him and would have still decided to try and destroy every victor he could. Maybe he would have just killed him immediately. Because just killing him wasn't an option anymore. If Yang did that then Jinyoung would become a martyr to the nation.

So many questions lived in his head. 

Why hadn't Yang killed Jaebum after Jinyoung openly defied him in District 5? He had waited patiently it seemed with the plan to put them in the arena together again. Maybe Yang expected to kill Jaebum in the arena but he was blind. Yang didn't know that Jinyoung and Jaebum were stronger together. Jinyoung trusted Jaebum completely, it was unbreakable and something much greater than he even understood. They would fight for each other and protect each other. Jinyoung had something more to protect that he wouldn't lose. He believed that both he and Jaebum would make it out, that was what he had to believe. That was all he had.

Jinyoung realized he was strong enough. That every fear was but a shadow on the walls, things that weren’t real within his mind. What was real to him was Jaebum. He would die for Jaebum just like he knew Jaebum would die for him. At it's core a person would die for someone they loved without a thought or hesitation. That level of willingness to protect each other, they could defeat anything that came. They were stronger for being together…

Jinyoung had felt like he was being pulled towards Jaebum since they met, and thinking of it as love… He didn’t know how else to explain it. Yet he didn’t know how to to fully face it in the light of day. He just waited hoping his heart would be able to lead him into understanding more.

The forest in his dreams was on fire. He would willingly let it burn, let everything burn down. He would be the fire to set it all ablaze. In the end he would be everything they wanted him to be. He would willingly set it all on fire. He was willing to kill for those he loved.

He would defy them again and again and again. Until everything was ashes beneath his feet. He believed he could do it, because so many people believed in him. And if he died to destroy it than so be it. As long as he got to see it falling he willingly be consumed in the flames.

He wasn't Jinyoung anymore.

He was their fire.

And that was all he found looking out into the city, that it was all wanted.

— — — — —

When Jaebum woke up to the morning he found things weren’t normal like he expected. He woke up and found that his arms weren't around Jinyoung instead Jinyoung's arms were around him. Jinyoung was sound asleep but Jaebum could almost see the smirk on his sleeping face. He didn't want to wake the younger, he smiled ear to ear at what he saw.

He lifted a hand to brush the hair from Jinyoung's face, he liked it off Jinyoung’s forehead. He liked the way Jinyoung often adjusted his hair back, it always looked so soft. The way he slept was peaceful, Jaebum liked seeing him like that. He wanted Jinyoung to be at peace even though there was so much uncertainty ahead. He wanted the best for the boy that had him wrapped up in a warm embrace. He didn’t mind it one bit, it was comforting.

He remembered the younger had agreed to go to breakfast with no complaint. He knew could just wake Jinyoung up and take a win from their little skirmishes but he hesitated. There was something about the younger’s peaceful expression that he found so enchanting. He didn’t to break the moment. 

“Jinyoung-ah,” he said his name softly, not meaning to wake him up with it. He just liked the sound of Jinyoung’s name, he liked speaking it and seeing Jinyoung turn his attention towards him. He remembered that day in the forest, two months after the games… He’d been so scared as he’d called that name and so relieved when Jinyoung’s eyes had turned to meet his. He liked saying Jinyoung’s name so he said it again.

Jinyoung awoke to the sound of it and his eyes met Jaebum’s. Jinyoung looked at in for a moment and closed his eyes again. Jaebum laughed slightly and realized since he already had woken him up it was best to get him to breakfast before they went to training. He sat up and was able to break Jinyoung's hold and get out of bed easily. Jinyoung whined at the sudden loss of Jaebum in his arms and looked at Jaebum with frustration.

"Not fair," Jinyoung pouted, "you're not supposed to get up until I let you out!" He glared strongly and Jaebum laughed at him. He didn’t mind the look Jinyoung gave him, he knew it was more about the games they played than anything else.

"Get up petty boy it's breakfast time," Jaebum teased to him before deciding to leave the room. He knew the training session ahead was going to be a difficult one but Jin was planning on staying with Jinyoung the entire time. The hope was to eliminated the dangers that posed any threats to Jinyoung. Jin was going to keep a close eye on him and hopefully intimidate enough to keep everyone away from him.

Jaebum sat down at the breakfast table where BamBam and Yugyeom were already chatting about something to do with fashion. Hani hadn’t arrived yet and he heard the loud voice of Taehyung through the halls. A few minutes later both Jinyoung and Taehyung arrived at the dinner table together. Jinyoung's hair was combed perfectly like Taehyung always liked to do it and Jaebum really did like what Taehyung did to it. Taehyung had a good understanding of how not to overdo it, Jinyoung was beautiful just as he was. 

Jaebum also knew how much Taehyung cared about what happened to Jinyoung. He saw the way that Taehyung worried and fretted over everything to do with Jinyoung. When Jinyoung had won Taehyung had wanted to go with Jaebum and BamBam to pick him up from the arena center. He had grown very attached to Jinyoung, and wanted to do everything right for Jinyoung to make sure the victor made it. To Taehyung, Jinyoung was the first time someone ever came back. He could see how much it meant to the younger boy to have a tribute return to them.

Taehyung had watched over Jinyoung when they brought him back and was the only one who was able to get him to eat. Taehyung was one who first to get Jinyoung to smile again. Jaebum knew Jinyoung understood the things that Taehyung had done, and how much care the younger was showing. Taehyung had taught him that people in the Capitol were lost as well. The stylist was special to all of them. 

The way Jinyoung always bent his head when Taehyung had a brush in his hand showed how much he cared about the other. Jinyoung let go a lot of his pride to let Taehyung do what he wanted, and Jaebum wondered if even Taehyung knew how big that was for Jinyoung. It showed trust in a world where trust was hard to come by. 

Jaebum was pulled from his thoughts when Hani arrived and sat in her usual place. She had a smirk on her own face and Jaebum wondered what she was up to. She served food onto her plate and bid everyone good morning. Her eyes glanced around the table, and settled on Jinyoung with a bright smile on her face. Jaebum wondered if having her as an ally was a good idea.

"Jinyoung," Hani said, "have you ever heard of the game of chess?" Jaebum’s eyes narrowed as he fought to keep his expression neutral. He wondered what Hani thought she was doing. Part of the plan they’d built required keeping Jinyoung in the dark that there was a plan at all. He couldn’t have her messing that up. Jinyoung expression looked confused as he seemed to think of how best to answer her question. 

Jaebum had always wondered how much Jinyoung knew, how much that JYP had told him. Jinyoung had never talked to Jaebum about what happened that night due to the incidents immediately following. Jinyoung had ignored him for a bit after they had gotten back and after they made up they had to deal with Mark and the peacekeepers. They’d talked about a lot of things but the conversation with JYP never came up. Jinyoung been acting strange about something.

"Mark taught me a bit about it," Jinyoung said but he didn't add anything to that. If Mark and Jinyoung had spoken about chess Jaebum wondered if JYP had in fact mentioned it.

"Oh so you have it in twelve!” she declared brightly.

"They have it everywhere Hani," Jaebum spoke up. He couldn’t hold back the remark and he didn't miss the way Jinyoung looked at him. He wondered what Jinyoung knew and why Jinyoung hadn’t said anything to him if he did know something. Jaebum thought Jinyoung trusted him with everything but he still held things back. He guessed they both did.

"It is a fascinating game," Hani continued and she leaned toward Jinyoung, "do you want me to teach you how to play?" Jaebum didn’t like the look on her face. Of all the people in their group he’d never liked Hani. She always seemed shifty to him, like she was hiding something.

"Um, I don't think I have time," Jinyoung responded. Jaebum noticed that two other people who had stopped looking at everyone at the table. BamBam and Yugyeom were uncharacteristically silent. Normally they would be chatting away with each other despite whatever other conversations were going on. Jaebum wondered about it and looked to the other members of their party. Jennie seemed focused on her meal and Taehyung looked nervous.

"Time is all about what you make of it," Hani leaned more towards him and Jaebum had the urge to kick her chair over, "you will have time for anything you want to do." She batted her eyes. He wondered how she would react if he threw a fork at her face.

"That's not quite how time has ever worked for me," Jinyoung replied with a colder look on his face, "you don't have time to the things you want to if your baby brother is starving to death." The expressions at the table were all ones filled with surprise. All of them were from the Capitol, despite most being sympathizers they had no idea what life was like for Jinyoung. Hani didn’t look disturbed at all, she looked almost bored with his response.

"Well okay then," Hani leaned back away from him, "if you ever want to learn you know where to find me, who knows it might just save your life down the line. It’s a game of strategy and strategy could help you win in the arena.” Jaebum wondered what on earth she was playing at. Did she realize that Yang was watching Jinyoung? 

Hani glanced over at him, there was a smirk in her eyes and she shot him a wink. He needed to get her kicked off the team, she was going to ruin everything. There was nothing subtle about what she was doing and he resolved that he was going to keep a close eye on her.

Breakfast finished up without much more than idle chatter. The elevator ride down to the training room was also uneventful as they didn't have run in’s with any other tributes. Jaebum was thankful for a quiet peaceful ride, he wanted Jinyoung to feel safe and confident.. When they got down to the training floor Jin approached them quickly.

"Jinyoung, Jaebum!" Jin called out their names and hugged Jinyoung.

“Good morning Seokjin-ssi,” Jaebum said politely. Jin didn't completely let go after the hug, he kept an arm around Jinyoung’s shoulders. Jaebum could see how protective the older boy was of Jinyoung. Jaebum smiled, he was really glad that they had Jin with them to help out.

“Good morning,” Jinyoung also greeted. Jinyoung wasn’t the kind of person to be comfortable with just anyone, trust was something Jaebum knew had to be earned for him. Jinyoung clearly trusted Seokjin and wasn’t uncomfortable in any way with the other boy hanging off of him.

"Where's Yoongi?" Jaebum asked. He wanted to talk to the other victor about what schemes were being plotted around the training room that morning. He was worried something would go wrong, even though he hoped for a good day.

"Zico dared him to attempt a perfect 1000 on the knife throwing training," Jin replied. Jaebum wondered why Zico would make a dare like that, Yoongi would likely have no problem succeeding. 

"Has he?” Jaebum asked. He couldn’t see over to the knife training simulation, but he noticed most of the tributes seemed to be on that side of the training center.

"Well he scored a 992 on the last run," Jin replied, "so he's about to go again. Zico never gave any indication of how many tries it had to take him.” Jaebum wondered why Yoongi would slip up even a little but he didn’t doubt Yoongi was more than capable of getting a perfect score.

Jaebum glanced around and took note of the tributes who weren’t near the knife simulation room. He saw Joon, Jisoo, Sandara and Sunmi. Everyone else seemed to really care about what Yoongi was doing. Joon was playing with wires again, Jisoo was laying on the floor staring at the roof. Sandra and Sunmi were sparring with swords.

"What are you going to do first this morning?” Jaebum asked Jinyoung. He wanted the younger to stay away from where the others were and hoped he didn’t take an interest in watching Yoongi.

"I want to try an obstacle course," Jinyoung responded. Jaebum thought that was a good idea for him to get some of the nervous energy he clearly had out of his system.

"I'll take one with you," Jin declared just as Jaebum expected him to.

“Good plan,” Jaebum said, “I'm going to go tag up with Hyolyn. I’ll catch you both later.” Jin nodded to him and Jinyoung looked at him for a moment with confusion before nodding as well. Jin then left with Jinyoung and Jaebum glanced around to see if Hyolyn was among the crowd. After looking a bit more her once again on top of the climbing apparatus. He wondered what why her focus seemed on climbing for the training sessions they had but he didn’t doubt she had her reasons. He headed over to it and began climbing it himself.

"Hey JB!" Hyolyn called out the nickname she had given him when he was a kid as he got closer to her. It was a better nickname than squirt which was what she had initially called him because he was so tiny when he won.

"Hey," he responded as he climbed over to where she sat. They were up pretty high, he could see the whole room very well and he wondered if that was her reason for spending most of her time up above the training center. Maybe she meant to intimidate so others wouldn’t be able to practice climbing. Whatever the reason he found himself curiously watching what was going on below.

“Are you not interested in the show down there?” Jaebum asked her. So many tributes seemed to be invested in what was going on with Yoongi’s training, not many of them were doing much else than loitering about.

“Yoongi’s going to get it,” Hyolyn said, “there’s no real suspense, he messed up on purpose. Not everyone would notice that though.” Of course he did and of course Hyolyn would be the one to notice, she noticed everything. That was one thing that Jaebum always valued about her. She was able to see things others didn’t, she had a keen eye for the way things were and she would be able to tell him more about what they were up against.

“How was the rest of yesterday’s training session?” Jaebum asked her. He hoped to be able to gain some insight into who they could and couldn’t trust.

“Let me tell you, it was not good,” Hyolyn said, “Zico approached Taeyeon and they were training together with the bows. Plus Lee Joon and Ji-hyun spent some time with Bom and a couple of the other tributes chatting it up. We’re going to work harder today to stop them from all allying against us.” He knew that she was always going to be on their side.

“Hyolyn,” Jaebum said her name seriously, “we honestly have help, there is a set game in the midst of us...”

“JYP’s chess pieces?” She asked him. He was correct that she knew, he suspected she had a piece. He knew Sandara probably did as well. The question he had was did either of them have the knight? 

“What piece did you get?” He asked without hesitation. He knew she would share just as Namjoon, Yoongi and Seokjin had been willing to show him what they’d been given.

“I got a pawn,” she responded with a smile, “what about you? What piece did our wonderful game maker decided to give you?” She definitely had expectations of what his piece was, he could see it in her eyes. There was a glimmer there and he wondered how much else she was seeing from her vantage point.

“The queen,” Jaebum admitted, “I am trying to track down every piece and who has it. Do you know anymore? I am missing one knight and 7 pawns.” He wanted the conversation on their alliance and off his positions proximity to Jinyoung.

“Joon has a pawn,” Hyolyn said, “So does Sandara. I think Taecyeon has one too but Sandara hasn’t asked him yet. He could be your missing knight.” He was right that she knew at least a few. He wondered if Taecyeon did have a knight. They had a friendly conversation the day before but he hadn’t brought anything up with the older tribute. 

“If only the pieces weren’t such a mystery,” Jaebum said, “the king is the most visible one and perhaps it shouldn’t be that way.” She sighed in response.

“It was always going to be that way though,” Hyolyn said, “what use are the pieces if they don’t know who they’re supposed to protect?” She was looking down to where Jinyoung was working with Seokjin. He noticed Taeyeon was watching them and Jisoo was watching Taeyeon from where she was still laying on the floor. He wondered both the girls place in the game.

“I get it, I really do,” Jaebum affirmed but he gestured to where Jisoo was, “what about her? Is she part of this?” Hyolyn smiled. All the victors had a fondness for Jisoo’s innocence. There was something sad about the fact that she wasn’t always all there in her head, but he wondered if maybe that was a game she played. She got all the sympathy and love from the victors around her, and always seemed to have someone willing to stick up for her.

“She is definitely a good ally for us,” Hyolyn said, “she is with whatever Joon does but we haven’t asked her if she has a piece yet. We are trying to keep the whole plot under wraps. We can’t have anyone catching wind of how big our alliance is going to be. We have had to make sure we ask people in the right context, even Dara and I had to stage a falling out yesterday. We can’t let the others get wind of what is going on as you know, we really do not want to deal with a large counter alliance.”

“Hence why you climbed up here so we could talk?” Jaebum asked. He knew the things she generally did, and he understood at that moment what part of her game plan was.

“This is the best spot to talk,” she replied, “and the best spot to watch. It’s good to see your boy smile.” He looked down towards Jinyoung he was smiling while Jin was laughing about something. Jin was a good influence for him to have around, he was one of the best mentors. He knew Seokjin could really help Jinyoung, he had successfully brought two victors out of their own traumas to become strong again. Jinyoung needed someone like him, Jaebum didn’t fell he’d ever been really prepared to handle it. 

Jaebum smiled as he saw them setting up for another one, he smiled as he looked at how Jinyoung was interacting with the other. He liked it when Jinyoung smiled. Jaebum looked back and saw Hyolyn’s eyes on him, there was a knowing smile in her eyes.

“What?” He asked, he schooled his expression into a blank one. He knew she’d already picked up on how things were.

“He’s changed you,” Hyolyn said, “you never used to smile before him.” There was such a brightness in her eyes when she said it, the statement was serious and not teasing.

“That’s not true,” Jaebum responded.

“You know it is,” Hyolyn said as she looked back down at him. “I’m really happy for you.” Her expression turned sad. “I always wanted for you to find someone to love, someone who could make you smile like you just did. It’s too bad the circumstances had to be the ones we face now. Love is precious, not something that’s easy to face losing.” She looked back towards him her expression held compassion in it, “I hope you don’t lose it.” Jaebum felt a bit uneasy.

“Now, now,” Jaebum pouted a bit, “don’t get so soft on me noona.” She laughed at him, immediately lightening the mood. She’d told him when they were younger that she hated being called noona, he only ever used it to tease her. Her eyes settled back on Jinyoung.

“He’s got a good smile,” Hyolyn continued talking about him, “I can see why you like him. I really hope we see more of him happy. He’s got a big task ahead of him, he deserves to smile.” She looked really happy watching him with Jin. Jaebum was happy with it, this day would certainly be better than they day before. He knew why she’d said the things she did say but he wasn’t going to pay it too much mind. He had to be focused on the tasks at hand, and not worried about what the future held. He knew how precarious it was and he’d told Jinyoung he would do all he could to stay with him but Jinyoung was more important.

“Well I’m going to go down to train...” Jaebum began to speak again but was cut off by cheers and looked down to see the scores flashing for Yoongi’s last run through, a perfect 1000. Everyone would definitely be trying to get on his side but he already had his allies picked.

“And there is our intimidator,” Hyolyn declared with a laugh, “I think Jinyoung could get close to one too, but I wouldn’t encourage him to lay it all down just yet. Taeyeon was trying to catch his current scores yesterday but only broke the mid 700s before plateauing, she is extremely dangerous. I’m keeping my eyes on her for us.”

“Good, I’m going to go get some training in,” Jaebum went back to what he was saying before the cheers started, “I’ll try to talk to Taecyeon again later.”

“You should really stay out of it,” Hyolyn cautioned, “Sandara can handle it for today and she’ll make sure to check on Taecyeon’s roll before the days ended. She’s got this covered, just go train and watch over your lover boy.” Jaebum rolled his eyes at her last statement but chose not to respond to it.

"Thanks noona,” he said with a smirk. He then climbed down and headed to the weapons rack. What a lot of people didn't know about him was that he was very much like Zico himself with weapons handling. He worked well enough with a variety of weapons and had no clear specialty. When he was younger and preparing for his dream of revolution he’d always wanted to be sure that any weapon could be of use to him.

He’d spent years plotting to bring Yang down, years waiting for the right moment. He had everything torn from him but he wasn't idle in that time. Sure there were days he was too drunk to do anything else but lay about, but he had spent a lot of time reading for a purpose. He learned strategy and combat from books and hours of training. He wanted to be ready for the revolution, to be on the front lines the day the Capitol fell. It was more farfetched then, but things had changed and it could very well be a reality. Of course he would have to survive the arena first.

Jaebum grabbed a couple long knifes then walked to a room to set up a training program. The one he chose wouldn’t be scored, he didn’t want his name on too many boards where tributes could see his numerous skills. He hoped they didn’t pay him much mind. He focused through the program to get a feel for the weapons in his hands. 

He enjoyed the feeling of the fight in the simulation. There wasn’t a heavy sense of danger but it was competitive enough that he got into it. The rush of energy he got from the fight training was welcomed. He ran a few rounds before deciding to take a break to find Yoongi. He had to share his new info with the boys from district 5.

He spotted Yoongi working near where Zico was and followed where everyone was laid out. Jinyoung and Jin were working with plants together, Jinyoung seemed really interested in what Jin was doing. Jaebum realized quickly that Yoongi was between them and Zico. His presence was like a deterrent to keep Zico away from Jinyoung and jaebum wondered if something had happened.

“What’s going on Yoongi?” Jaebum asked as he approached the other tribute.

“Hyolyn warned me that something is going on,” Yoongi said, “Sandara caught wind of a plan to try and rattle Jinyoung again today, so I’m just making it clear that no one is to go near him. If anyone does I’ll take off their hands.” Yoongi had his normal bored expression but Jaebum saw how serious this was to him. Yoongi knew his place in the plans ahead and he would do whatever he could to protect Jinyoung. He was their most valuable ally.

Jaebum spotted Jackson sitting with Seung-ho and Jay. He looked very much well integrated into what was going on there. Jaebum was glad that they would at least have that on their side. Jackson could disrupt their plans and help from the inside.

“I can stay with them,” Jaebum said, “It’s not like I can be any use collecting allies.” Jaebum caught sight of someone approaching them as he finished his statement. 

“Jaebum-ssi,” the girl was Jisoo, she pointed up and he hadn’t noticed what she had. Lee Joon and Bom were in the rafters. They were getting close to where Jinyoung was. Jaebum was surprised by the sudden move.

“Shit,” he declared. He didn’t even take a moment to glance or thank her he ran to where they were. Jaebum looked up at his approach, his face was surprised as he took in the way Jaebum approached him.

“Jaebum,” Jinyoung said his name.

“We got to go,” Jaebum declared and he grabbed Jinyoung’s arm. Jinyoung didn’t protest as Jaebum moved him to one of the training rooms and Jin followed. These rooms were low away from anyone that could target him from the roof. Jinyoung looked very confused as to what was going on but Jaebum pointed up for him.

“District 2,” Jaebum said. Then two more people appeared in the room, Jinyoung jumped and Jaebum could tell he was on edge. Yoongi was the one there and he was followed by Jisoo, the one who had warned them. She looked on guard, different than Jaebum had ever seen her. She didn’t ever really seem dangerous but he knew she had won her games as well, there was something about her that must have given her that win. 

“Thank you Jisoo,” Jaebum said and she nodded. He was glad that she had been watching because he had no idea what district two had been planning to do. They might have been able to get a drop on Jinyoung and Jin in an effort to scare him or maybe things could have gotten more dangerous. Lee Joon and Bom weren’t ones to be trifled with, they did side with the Capitol.

“She said Park Joon warned her,” Yoongi said.

“Jisoo did he warn you of anything else?” Jaebum asked her and she shook her head in response. Jaebum turned back to Jinyoung, Jin’s arm was around him but he was tapping his hand against his thigh. None of what was happening was positive towards him improving.

“If they want to play this way,” Jinyoung declared, “we should fight back. I need the bow,” Jinyoung was looking over to the weapons rack. Jaebum knew that would be a bad idea. It was best for them to lay low rather than to engage in any sort of fight outside of the arena. 

“We can’t do that,” Jaebum responded, it was dangerous ground to tread on. If Jinyoung attacked like that the guards would intervene. They would be happy to catch Jinyoung in the act of doing something stupid.

“Why not?” Jinyoung asked, there was clear anger on his face. Jaebum knew it was how he was trying to hide his own fear.

“It sounds fair to me,” Yoongi commented, he still seemed bored with what all of them were discussing but there were signs he was on guard. Everything about his stance was like a snake ready to strike.

“They won’t intervene against aggression toward you Jinyoung,” Jaebum said to him, “you’re their biggest problem but if you start fighting back they’ll have an excuse to take you out.” He had to spell it out for Jinyoung so Jinyoung could understand how unfair Yang had made the game. This was something he’d been warned about when he was given his game piece, that Jinyoung would be in danger well before the arena began.

“Jaebum’s right,” Jin said, “this game is against us and we can’t afford to make any mistakes.”

“We can’t just do nothing,” Jinyoung’s voice sounded so small as he spoke. Jaebum knew he didn’t want to back down from any fight, that he wanted to prove that he wasn’t someone to be messed with. But they just couldn’t risk it, it was too dangerous.

“We’re not,” Jaebum replied, “we’ll wait for them to make moves and counter them as they come. That’s not nothing.” Yoongi’s bored expression had turned to anger.

“Those two are still up there,” Yoongi said, “I can launch some knifes up there and scare them real good.” They couldn’t afford to lose Yoongi so Jaebum wouldn’t agree to it. Both Yoongi and Jinyoung were acting the same way and letting their anger get the best of them, Jaebum looked to Jin for help.

“I agree with Jaebum,” Jin said, “nothing good can come of it. It’s best for us not to engage if we don’t have to.” Jaebum looked out and glanced at all the faces one in particular was watching them with a curious look. Taeyeon, she had a bow in hand and her eyes were cold. Jaebum wondered about where her loyalties lay.

“I think we should get out of here,” Jaebum said. He didn’t know what was really going on but he didn’t know that he wanted to stick around to find out. If a fight broke out they wouldn’t be able to fight back. Yoongi would likely snap and take lives before they could even blink.

“I don’t wan to go,” Jinyoung said, “let them try I’ll shoot first!” He hadn’t ever heard Jinyoung talk like that and wondered if it was just the fear.

“Jinyoug we need to play our cards right,” Jaebum needed to get through to him, “if we need to stay out of this mess then it is better to do so. I don’t want any of their weapons coming near you again.” He hated that he hadn’t seen what was happening the day before with Zico throwing knifes at Jinyoung. He needed to keep Jinyoung safe and far from harms way.

“I don’t want to just run away,” Jinyoung said, “we’re strong enough together to dissuade them from trying anything. Let’s just stick together.” He didn’t want to make any decisions that could turn out wrong.

"We're leaving," Jaebum said like it was a command, "that is my final decision. We can't risk anything happening down here."

"What about tomorrow will we just run again?" Jinyoung argued back against him.

"I will decide what to do tomorrow when it comes," Jaebum responded. Jinyoung looked angry but Jaebum knew better as to why he was angry. He was one step away from questioning Jaebum’s authority in the situation. 

"Who put you in charge," Jinyoung said, he had walked to stand in front of Jaebum. He’d been correct.

"I have been responsible for your safety since you were first reaped," Jaebum replied, "I don't care if you feel like that's wrong. Your safety is my number 1 priority, I will not compromise it so that you can pretend to be a goddamn hero.”

"This isn't just about me," Jinyoung argued loudly, "if it was we wouldn't run. We can't just not face them, lets show them not to mess with us!” Jinyoung moved toward the door and Jaebum grabbed him hard.

"The game is rigged against you," Jaebum said louder to him, "I will not let you do something stupid for your own pride. We're leaving, that's final."

"You don't understand anything," Jinyoung responded, “I’m not scared of them.”

"What don't I understand?" Jaebum replied, "that you think you have something to prove? That you want to kill someone to prove it? Are you worried that they all think you don't have it in you?" Jaebum knew he hit it right when Jinyoung blinked at him in surprise. "You're not seeing the big picture Jinyoung! You kill someone here and now and the Capitol will take you out of the game and you will be publicly executed for violating the rules of the games. Is that really what you want? That would end everything, that's what they want!” Jinyoung’s expression changed quickly.

"Yang wants to label you a dishonorable killer," Jaebum said, "is that really what you want? Every single person here belongs to their district. End one of them you shut down everything in a single moment. This isn't about being weak, this is about being stupid. You can't afford to be stupid." Jinyoung was suddenly shaking, confidence shaken by Jaebum’s words.

"Jaebum's right," Jin responded, "the risks here are too high. The power's in their hands down here. We can't do anything until the arena. They’re trying to rattle us because they know we’re threats, we have nothing to prove.” Jinyoung looked angry but he also looked defeated like he couldn't even make a single move. Jaebum didn't have time to feel bad he needed Jinyoung to listen.

"Wait for the games Jinyoung," Jaebum said desperately, "I promise we have a plan. You have nothing you need to prove here, you're better than them. They all know that." He took a different approach, "they want you stuck in a choice that will destroy you because it's better for them." Jinyoung looked around at all of them he looked frightened, like he was realizing every single choice he made had bigger consequences than he had measured. That was something that was important for him to understand.

"We're leaving," Yoongi said, "that's the best option." Jaebum was glad his words had also persuaded Yoongi. He knew no matter what he said that Yoongi was a loose canon that would likely act alone and get himself killed someday.

"I'll tell Hyolyn," Jisoo spoke up, Jaebum had forgotten she was there but he was glad to hear from her. 

"Thank you Jisoo," Jaebum said to her, she nodded in response

"I'm in this game with you," she replied, "maybe not an important part but still a part of it." That was the most he had ever heard her speak since her victory tour. She smiled and walked out of the room, he felt glad that she was one of their allies.

"We're going Jinyoung," Jaebum said again and Jinyoung nodded in response. He’d been persuaded and that was enough for Jaebum. He put an arm around Jinyoung’s shoulders and pulled him in for a hug to comfort him. He could feel him trembling slightly. He was upset that they’d had to fight to get to the right conclusion but he was glad Jinyoung was putting his pride aside. 

“It’s going to be okay,” Jaebum said to him and Jinyoung nodded against him. Jaebum let go of him and turned back to the others.

“How are we doing this?” Jin asked as he mused to try and figure out their next play, “I say Jaebum you go first towards the elevators with Jinyoung and Yoongi and I will follow to watch your backs. We’ll get on with you to make sure you get up safely.”

“Sounds like a solid plan to me,” Jaebum said, he knew Jin had a goo mind for figuring things out. He took Jinyoung’s hand and spoke softly to him, “just stay close.” Jinyoung nodded in response, the expression in his eyes was intense as he looked at Jaebum like a lifeline at that moment. Jaebum wished he could give him strength just with a glance.

“If Namjoon was down here they wouldn’t try anything,” Yoongi said with a pointed look at Jin. Jaebum knew his implications well enough to understand what he meant.

“Well we’re working with what we’ve got, no use dwelling on things that are passed,” Jin said back. Jaebum nodded to him, it was time to move he walked out with Jinyoung’s hand tight in his. He heard the other two walking behind them quickly. Jinyoung clung to his hand tight like it was a lifeline.

The others in the room were quiet, none of them daring to move with Yoongi’s eyes on them and ever sharp knifes at his side. They made it to the elevators without incident and Yoongi turned the knifes into a guard as they had to. Jaebum looked back out into the training room and spotted something…

It was right as the elevator doors were closing…

…an arrow shot in after them.

Jabeum was the only one to see it and he didn’t hesitate to move his body to Jinyoung’s. 

He faced Jinyoung, his eyes meeting the younger. Jinyoung looked at him fear so present in his eyes as he took a shaky breath. Jaebum felt the pain in his shoulder, piercing through him… he had caught it himself.  
Jinyoung was safe. 

He was safe. 

They would all be fine. 

He breathed relief.

“Jaebum,” Jinyoung spoke with so much fear in his voice and Jaebum saw where his eyes looked now. The other two were stunned by the arrow that had gone through his shoulder. 

“It’s okay,” Jaebum said, “we’re safe, it’s okay.” He felt the warmth of his blood moving from the wound. His mind started to feel fuzzy. Was it possible...

“Poison,” Jin said. 

Jaebum felt it, he knew it. He should have expected something more than just that… Everything in the room started to spin, the poison was acting fast. He wondered if it was deadly…

“JAEBUM!” Jinyoung practically screamed his name as his body slumped forward and he lost consciousness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cliffhanger.
> 
> Please comment and let me know what you think.
> 
> More to come. Thank you so much to all who have been commenting, it means a lot to me.
> 
> The next chapter is called "I'll Wait Forever," Please look forward to it.


	12. I’ll Wait Forever

Jackson had a good sight of everything that was going down from where he sat. He was careful as he spoke to his own enemies as he worked to know of their plans. He’d caught wind that they had a plan to make a move against Jinyoung again. They had made It clear that their goal was to rattle him so bad that he would be useless by the time the games rolled around. They knew he was a new victor and new victors had something in common, that was their reaction to trauma.

He had no real idea what the plan was but seeing Taeyeon walking around with her bow in hand gave him a good idea of what it entailed. She was the most dangerous person to Jinyoung in entering the games, she was opposing him with the weapon he would also be using. That intimidation would be difficult for the kid to handle.

He had an idea of what everything was to but he didn’t really know the extent of the plan. He couldn’t really fathom what would happen. Jaebum and the others had been making plans. Jackson knew their best option was just to leave the training room all together, because training had become very dangerous. Whatever Zico and the others were planning he hoped Jaebum got Jinyoung out of there. He was glad when he saw the group make a move and they started heading towards the elevator.

He watched as Jaebum and Jinyoung walked hand in hand, he was curious about how close they were and how they seemed to read and communicate with each other without words. He wondered just how deep their relationship went. He also watched as Yoongi and Jin walked after then mostly walking backwards with their eyes one each tribute. Yoongi had knifes glinting at his side and everyone there knew how good he was and they knew he wouldn’t hesitate. 

Jackson eyed the others Taeyeon had turned away like she didn’t care her bow was down. Jackson’s heart beat faster as her eyes tracked over to him. He looked away, it was better for them not to speak to one another even though it hurt. Jackson saw that all the others were away from weapons and were going to let the boys leave. 

All except one.

Jackson noticed it too late and cursed in shock. The four had reached the elevator and Yoongi had handed his knives to the guards when it happened. Jackson was stunned as he realized he couldn’t do anything about it. He couldn’t get to the other boy in time to stop it.

Zico shot an arrow. 

The elevator doors had been closing but the sensors triggered from the arrow and they opened back up. It was a blur but Jackson saw Jaebum move in front of Jinyoung, and he watched the arrow sink into his back. Then the elevator doors began to close but that didn’t hide the sound of Jinyoung screaming out Jaebum’s name. It echoed to Jackson, make his heart pound and his ears burn. He hated that sound, hated not knowing what was happening and hated that he’d done nothing to stop it.

He had been told that he had a job to do, he was supposed to infiltrate to learn of plans before they happened. He was supposed to stop it from happening. He hadn’t stopped anything, he hadn’t done anything right. Whatever had just happened to Jaebum was on him and he knew that very well.  Zico looked proud of himself, others in the group looked excited. Jaebum could be dead, if there was poison involved… Jackson couldn’t think about that. But he was frozen, his heart beating an unsteady rhythm. His fists clenched.

He was angry, he was furious and it was a growing feeling inside him he couldn’t control. What had Jaebum and Jinyoung done to deserve something like that? Why did anyone blame them for the games? Everything that was happening to them was all Yang’s fault, it was always all Yang who enslaved and tortured them. He couldn’t just stand by and let Zico get away with trying to kill Jinyoung before the arena had even started.

His friends were hurt, Jaebum had been shot and Jackson knew that the shot was meant for Jinyoung. Jinyoung precious kid who the most beautiful smile Jackson had ever seen, he didn’t deserve to lose someone he loved like that. Jackson was angry that anyone could try to hurt them like that.

It all came to a boiling point fast.

Jackson reacted, he was always good at reacting. Since he was just a small boy he had always given in to his anger, because he had so much to be angry about. Everything made him angry. He’d seen his parents suffer, the district suffere and all the madness of a system of oppression continued on and on. He was angry his victory meant nothing but that he was a new kind of slave, forced to give up every part of himself for the pleasure of the Capitol. He couldn’t stop any of those things from happening, but he wasn’t going to stand by and take things lying down.

His anger took over and he walked quickly over towards Zico who was laughing with a couple others. Laughing with joy at shooting a man in the back. 

“Hey Zico you fucking coward!” Jackson shouted at him, “Who the hell do you think you are?” Jackson was about to rush and grab at him when Zico pushed him back. Jackson stood back, fists clenched ready to fight.

“What did you just say to me?” Zico’s eyes narrowed at Jackson. Jackson wanted to punch the smug look on his face, to drive that boy into the ground. He didn’t care what consequences came for him, he would make sure Zico was punished for what he’d done.

“Only a coward would shoot someone who is unarmed in the back,” Jackson said, “so I am calling you what you are. You are a coward. You have no honor.” People were all murmuring now, no one had expected anyone to stand up to  Zico like he was. It was known Zico got what he wanted from the Capitol that he had their favor, that he was one of Yang’s favorites.

“You’re the real coward Wang,” Zico sneered at him with anger. “Why would you choose their side you little bitch? You want to stand and defend those people who did this to us? Park Jinyoung is the disease to all of us, the one who forced Yang’s hand! He must die and everyone with him.” Jackson didn’t expect Zico to be so blunt with what he believed but he knew how far Yang had gone to make Zico his perfect lapdog.

“You seriously believe that?” Jackson shouted at him, “you’re such a piece of shit.” He wanted to get his hands around Zico’s throat and end him.

“Careful Wang,” Zico leveled his gaze at him, his eyes were calculated but he’d never fought Jackson. “Don’t start something you can’t finish.” Jackson had every intention of winning the fight. He would make Zico pay for what he had done.

“You’re nothing Zico,” Jackson said to him, “come on you bastard, you haven’t made a move cause you’re so scared of me. You’re all talk.” Zico lunged at him but Jackson was prepared he punched hard landing his hit on Zico’s jaw and using his other arm to drive him back. Zico stumbled backwards and had to work to regain his footing. 

He looked at Jackson with a smirk but Jackson could see his confusion because Jackson had just hit him harder than he’d expected. Zico moved forward again and the fight really begun. Of course Zico was confused with that first punch because he knew Jackson to be more of a martial artist. Jackson didn’t like fitting into one mold. With every move Zico made he had a counter even the few hits Zico landed on him Jackson was able to anticipate and prepare for and move decisively after receiving them. 

Zico came at him with another punch and Jackson twisted his arm, his goal was to get it out of socket, maybe rip it off if he could. Zico cried out in pain but didn’t just let Jackson keep doing it. He fought back. He got his arm away from Jackson and fought back. Zico was skilled but Jackson was angry, and with that anger he made sure for every punch Zico landed Jackson hit at him twice as hard. Jackson wasn’t going to lose the fight, he was going make the arena as hard for Zico as he could.

He didn’t care about anything else but beating him as hard as he could. Jackson pushed back and gained an opening. He got Zico down and before the other tribute could get up Jackson was on top of him. Jackson landed hit after hit to his face. Zico had crumbled beneath him, unable to resist anymore at Jackson’s onslaught. 

There was a whistle sounding, Jackson knew what it was, the guards would intervene for Zico but they would never intervene for Jinyoung and it made him angrier. Jackson threw as many more as he could before he was pulled off Zico but he was losing control of his anger still. He fought off some of the guards to try and get back to what he was doing. He wanted Zico as close to death for what he’d done as he could get him. In the end it took quite a few guards to successfully restrain him. 

His anger began to fade as he looked at Zico who was bloodied and beaten badly. He didn’t regret it one moment. This was what he would do to anyone who sided with the Capitol, anyone who would dare to try and hurt Jinyoung or Jaebum again. He knew exactly what fight he was in and he would fight it with everything he had. He didn’t care about the consequences, they’d taken away everything he had. Yang had taken everything from him and Jinyoung was finally their chance to bring it all down.

Jackson knew that he would see the Capitol would burn. That was all he had.

\-- -- -- -- --

Jinyoung's heart had never really stopped before. But he was sure it had stopped beating in that elevator when he realized and when Seokjin had said that word. He was sure he had no anchor and no other way to stand as he cried out, as he was frightened of what was happening before his eyes. His worst fear was losing Jaebum, and right before his eyes Jaebum fell forward.

He was a wreck, Namjoon had to hold onto him to as Seokjin worked. They had to hold Jinyoung back because he wanted to hold Jaebum. He had never lost his mind like he had in those moments before in his life. He hadn't felt fear that strong gripping him in his life because he almost was sure at that moment if he lost Jaebum he wouldn't live a second more. It was the worst moment in his life. It was the worst time. Jinyoung couldn’t stop hysterically crying and Namjoon wouldn’t let him get to Jaebum.

A doctor had come up, he wasn’t sure of what they’d said but they had sedated him because of how hysteric he was. No one knew how to help him stop panicking because none of them were Jaebum. He had awoken to the news that Jaebum had made it, that he would be okay.

Jinyoung was told that Jaebum would be unconscious for a bit. That didn’t deter them from allowing Jinyoung to see him. Jinyoung needed to see for himself that Jaebum was breathing. He needed proof that Jaebum was still there with him, that the elder hadn’t been taken away. He didn't know all the details as to what had gone on, none of that mattered.

What mattered to him was right in front of him. He had his hands holding onto Jaebum as if he could keep him there just by grasping ahold of him.

Jaebum was all he had with him. He didn’t have his brother or his best friend there. He had Jaebum. Jaebum who had once been nothing to him but had so suddenly become everything. He didn’t understand it but he knew he couldn’t survive without him. He didn’t think he was strong enough to handle a single day without him there. 

"Jinyoung," Seokjin spoke his name, the older boy knew that Jinyoung wasn’t handling the events of the day well at all. Jinyoung wished he could snap himself into being okay but he really didn’t know how. Jinyoung looked up at Jin, tears kept streaming down his face no matter how hard he’d tried to hold them in. Jinyoung had been scared from the moment the games was announced that Jaebum would try to sacrifice himself for him, the games hadn’t even begun and it had already started happening.

Seokjin didn't speak at first, he just put his arms around Jinyoung as the younger cried more. How had they allowed this to happen? Why had the Capitol just allowed this to happen in training? They were supposed to intervene, the guards were supposed to prevent aggression during training. Jinyoung had been frightened that Yang was fulfilling his threat to cross of Jaebum. Jinyoung knew he couldn't handle if it the threat was real, more than ever he wanted things to be okay. He didn’t know how to get out in front of what they faced.

So much could turn against them in an instance. There was no way out from what was ahead.

"Jinyoung it's all okay now," Seokjin spoke comfort but Jinyoung knew it wasn't okay. He knew very well that the shot had been meant for him. What had played out in front of him was just like what happened in the arena with Jungkook. When something was meant for him people intervened then people died. He didn't want any of it, he'd rather die than to watch Jaebum die for him.

"What happened?" Jinyoung heard himself asking now. He wanted to know what really happened in the training room. Had it been Taeyeon who had fired on him? Was it really a plan to rattle him or was the poison meant to kill him? It seemed like an extreme way to frighten him.

"After they put you to sleep Yoongi went down alone to find out," Seokjin explained, "It was Zico who fired the arrow." Jinyoung felt so afraid after he knew who it was. Zico was so set on killing Jinyoung he'd try it with a poisoned arrow, with that arrow he knew he could miss and still do some damage. Jinyoung didn't know how to defeat an enemy that was willing to throw out the rules to try and gain an advantage. His fist tapped he needed control, to control himself so he wouldn't break down again.

"Is he going to be punished?" Jinyoung asked, even though he knew the answer. He wouldn't be taken out of the game, Yang would probably reward him for his efforts but if Jinyoung did the same… Everything was unfair yet no one could intervene to change it.

"Jackson already administered what punishment he could," Seokjin said. Jackson? Jinyoung had seen Jackson sitting with Zico and his friends. He didn’t trust Jackson. "Jackson beat Zico so badly he was put in detention and Zico was taken to the infirmary.” Jinyoung was surprised Jackson had stood up for them.

"Did the guards know what Zico did?" Jinyoung asked. He knew the answer. They knew, and they didn’t care. Hearing it just made everything weigh more on him, but he still felt like he needed to hear it.

"Everyone saw it," Seokjin replied. Of course they did. They had seen it and still they put Jackson into the detention for beating a man but gave Zico medical care for nearly killing one. At least they had given Jaebum some medical attention and he had made it, but Zico deserved to be punished not coddled for what he’d done.

“Jinyoung I have something to tell you,” Seokjin said softly, “I’m sorry but I think this was my fault.” Jinyoung looked at him confused.

“How could this possibly be your fault?” Jinyoung asked him. Zico was the one to blame, Yang was the one to blame.

“When we were working with plants…” Seokjin began and Jinyoung knew exactly what he was going to say. He took in a sharp breath. Jin had been showing him how to make a poison, he hadn’t explained the effects to Jinyoung, only the potency of the ingredients and how they interacted. They’d left that poison unattended… 

“Stop,” Jinyoung said as Jin continued trying to explain and apologize, “please just stop.” If Jin was in any way to blame he as as well. He was shaking just thinking about it, because it was all too perfect. He looked up at Jin, his hands shaking as he wanted to believe Jin was telling him this because he was an ally. Jinyoung was so scared, because trusting any tribute meant the possibility of losing…

He couldn’t consider for a moment that maybe Jin making the poison wasn’t an accident. Maybe he was only telling Jinyoung because it was a way to continue to make Jinyoung trust him. He couldn’t follow those thoughts, he had to trust that Jin was only trying to protect them. Jin had likely saved Jaebum’s life...

"How long was it before the doctor arrived?" Jinyoung had no sense of time. He only knew how frantically Jin kept shouting for Hoseok and the others in the prep team to get a doctor as soon as they could.

"It took too long," Seokjin replied, "I almost lost him on my own. We didn't have much by way of medicine here but our stylist was able to call in what I needed. Luckily it was a poison I knew, so I was able to hold it at by. The doctor arrived an hour after we got here, Hoseok told me they weren't going to send one till JYP forced them too." They weren’t going to send a doctor. They were just going to let Jaebum die. That was the cost, Jinyoung was so scared that was the cost and the price Yang required. Why was this happening to them? He’d never wanted any of it.

Why wouldn't Yang even play fair with them? Couldn't he just Let them have a shot to win in the arena? The whole game was against them and it hadn’t fully begun. It would be against them the whole time in the arena and in preparation. That's why Jaebum spent so much time on alliances, because without them they'd both lose but Jinyoung was scared of alliances.

Jinyoung was beginning to think he had completely misjudged Jackson even though he didn’t want to admit that. Jackson didn't have to go after Zico like he had but he did. Jinyoung didn’t know what he was playing at. Maybe he really was the ally they needed, he clearly wasn't scared of Zico and no one had fought him after what he had chosen to do.

“I don’t know what to do now,” Jinyoung said as he looked at Jaebum’s sleeping form. None of it was fair and Yang wanted Jaebum dead. Jinyoung didn’t know if he could hold on tight enough to keep him alive.

“What do you mean?” Seokjin asked, there was so much compassion in the elders eyes. Jinyoung couldn’t believe the worst about him no matter how much those thoughts tried to stick in his mind.

“Jaebum got hurt protecting me,” Jinyoung responded, “why do people keep protecting me, I don’t want to watch anyone die for me again. I can’t take it.” Tears filled his eyes, making their escape and leaving tracks of water on his cheeks.

“Jinyoung you can’t stop people from caring about you,” Seokjin said softly, “you know how that feels and you know if you could have you would do the same for Jaebum. You would have done the same for Jungkook.” Jin understood everything about what his words meant, it was one of the reasons Jinyoung felt he could be trusted.

“But I don’t want them to,” Jinyoung said, “I never asked him to care for me like this… I couldn’t make it if Jaebum died, I couldn’t.” It was hell being held back away from Jaebum, it hurt too much.

“You have to learn to let go Jinyoung,” Seokjin replied, “In this world we can not afford to lose our lives because of the loss of someone we love. That doesn’t downplay their importance to us but out strength should come from within ourselves not from someone else. And if we lose them we have to keep going. It is a dishonor their memory to give up. If Jaebum had died today you would have had to move on, and he would have wanted you to. We can take much more than we think Jinyoung.”

Jinyoung knew what he was saying he really did understand but when it came to Jaebum… He just didn’t think his heart could keep beating in a world where Jaebum didn’t make it. That brought more tears which Seokjin reached up to wipe away. The dangers they faced were very real, and what happened reminded him of how easily someone could be taken from him. He’d seen enough of how easily a light could be put out.

“You’re going to make it Jinyoung,” Seokjin said to him, “and we’re going to fight for Jaebum too. We are all fighting for you both, but don’t let yourself be defeated. Don’t ever give up no matter what. You are the the only one who can stop them from doing this again.” He knew Jin’s words were meant to impart strength but it hurt because everyone kept looking to him as more and he felt like he didn’t deserve it.

“Why does everything think it only comes down to me?” Jinyoung asked. He really didn’t know what he had done that made him that to people. He’d only done what he felt was right in the heat of a moment when he’d been sick of fighting. He had cried and given it all up in that moment, but he’d never asked for that moment to be taken as something heroic. It was just all that he felt he could do with everything in front of him.

“The districts believe in you,” Seokjin said, “if you ask them too they will follow you into whatever you face. You are their fire, their hope because you were not corrupted by the Capitols game. I know you don’t quite get it but there will come a day when you do, and on that day you may find the place you are in is quite lonely. None of us will be able to understand that burden but know that there will always be people who love you waiting for you.”

Jinyoung felt all the emotion Seokjin spoke with as the elder victor wiped the tears from his eyes. 

“All the darkness will end,” Seokjin whispered gently to him, “I promise you that you will be there when it does and so many others who love you will be waiting to bring you home. And there will be peace for you when that day comes. You will find safety and it will never leave.”

They sat together silent after that. Jinyoung had just met him a few days before but he felt so safe with Seokjin next to him. He felt at peace with Seokjin comforting him. He knew there was much more to come in the days ahead but somehow the right people kept coming to him to help him through the worst times. 

They sat together till Jaebum finally stirred and began to awaken, then Seokjin left them alone. Jaebum’s eyes settled on Jinyoung and he smiled. He looked tired, not quite right but he smiled so brightly that Jinyoung wanted to cry again. His Jaebum was okay, he was alive and breathing. What had happened was horrible but Jaebum had survived. 

“Jinyoung-ah,” Jaebum said softly the way he always said his name. Jinyoung squeezed his hand, he hadn’t let go since he’d gotten into the room. He saw Jaebum’s confusion and he watched it melt away as the elder likely began to remember everything that happened. 

“How long was I out out of it?” Jaebum asked, he still looked a bit out of it. His face was pale and his body didn’t seem strong at all with how lightly he moved. Jinyoung got up from his chair and laid down next to him. Jaebum wrapped his arms around him in response to him being there. Jinyoung shook slightly. Jaebums grip on him wasn’t strong, but Jinyoung was glad just to feel him there. 

He didn’t want to talk, he didn’t want words. He just wanted to stay right there where he felt safest. He was angry for what had happened but he was mostly just tired because there was only so much his mind could take. He needed rest from the fear, rest from the frustrations and pain. The only place he ever felt like the nightmares ceased was in Jaebum’s arms. He was still a wreck, still a mess with things he couldn’t speak out loud and things no one else could understand. 

He settled in with Jaebum, with someone that meant everything to him. As his eyes slipped closed he felt a gentle touch, a brush of Jaebum’s soft lips against his forehead. It was so gentle he almost thought he had imagined it. For a second he stopped breathing, like he’d forgotten how to. He felt the safest in Jaebum’s arms, the safest when he could feel the elders breath against his head. And along with all of it he felt so warm inside his heart at the shadow of the feeling of Jaebum’s lips. 

He wondered if he’d just imagined it.

—————

Yoongi and Namjoon helped Jinyoung get Jaebum back to their floor of the building that evening. Jinyoung didn’t want to be too far from him for a second. Seokjin said it would take a week for Jaebum’s body to fully recover from the poison which worried Jinyoung because the arena was going to begin within three days.

The tissue in his shoulder had healed with the doctors using cellular regeneration. Jinyoung didn’t understand it but it meant he was in no danger of infection or problems with the wound. He would have a sore shoulder for awhile according to them, something about muscle regeneration being tricky. The doctors said the main worry would be the residual damage from the poison. They’d counteracted it but it would take some time for his body to completely bounce back to normal. They didn’t have time, and when the arena so close Jaebum wouldn’t be ready. They couldn’t do anything to change the days ahead of them.

That night Jinyoung had a hard time sleeping but he didn't want to wake Jaebum. He laid as still as he could in Jaebum’s arms to make it seem like he was asleep. He wanted to at least feel like he was handling the events of the day even though he knew he wasn’t. Anxiety was like an addiction, like a place he couldn’t escape not because he wanted it but because it felt honest. It felt like the only place he could be honest with himself. His body was buzzing with anxious energy reminding him that nothing was okay. His heartbeat was unsteady, everything was moving too fast for him. 

Tapping couldn’t chase the fears away. There was one more day of training, and he knew he couldn’t go down and face them again. Not after what Zico had done to Jaebum, and with how many tributes were on his side he wondered how many of them would have done the same. He didn't want anything bad to happen again and he didn’t want anyone trying to get between him and death again. He didn’t want to go to training.

He wanted to stay locked away from the rest of the world with Jaebum because they couldn't be for much longer. He wasn't ready for this but he had no choice, he had to be ready. The whole game was designed to tear them apart, and he had to be ready to hold on as tightly as Jaebum held on to him with they slept. The moments they shared together, he was so scared to lose them. 

He was so scared they would be separated. He was so scared that once the arena began that he’d lose sight of Jaebum or lose him to a place he couldn’t follow. He was scared if they both died that whatever waited for them they wouldn’t be together. He didn’t know why that terrified him more than anything. He didn’t understand the things that he felt when he looked at the elder. He’d never felt that way about anyone in his life, and he had no one he could talk to about those feelings. No one but Jaebum, but he didn’t feel ready…

He drifted off to sleep sometime in the night and when morning came nothing made any sense. Nothing had ever made sense, not in his whole life. He wanted to understand why his life had gotten so derailed. He couldn’t stop time, couldn’t change anything by the force of his will. He would just have to continue on as he always had, fighting to survive.

He woke up to the feeling of Jaebum's fingers brushing his hair out of his eyes; it was something the elder seemed to do often when he thought Jinyoung was still sleeping. Something Jinyoung almost leaned into, a feeling he loved. It was one of a hundred ways he felt comfort and affection from the person next to him. He opened his eyes to find Jaebum’s, he felt so connected to him when he looked into his eyes.

In Jaebum's eyes he saw a weariness. He hated it, because within them was still the effects of the day before. He didn’t look well, he looked pale and exhausted. It hurt seeing it. It hurt knowing that Jaebum had to endure so much pain for him. His mind drifted as he remembered the reality of where Zico likely had gotten the poison . He was afraid of that reality, he was afraid to confront the darker thoughts again. So he shut it down in his mind, because no good could come of it.

He already blamed himself, and he wouldn’t be able to let go of that blame. He knew if he voiced how he felt to Jaebum, then the elder would go on a long rant about how it wasn't his fault. He knew Jaebum well enough to know exactly what he would say.

“Jinyoung-ah,” Jaebum said softly, “don’t look so afraid, I’m fine.” Jinyoung nodded as Jaebum’s hand rested against his cheek. He wished he could turn off his worries and his fears just by hearing Jaebum’s words. 

“I’m sorry,” he responded simply. Those words were enough to convey how he felt, and enough to let Jaebum know he couldn’t talk about it. Jaebum never demanded him to talk, never pushed him too far. It was one of the reasons Jinyoung had felt safe when Jaebum was with him after the games. He felt like he could trust the elder to watch over him when he didn’t even know how to speak. He felt like he could trust Jaebum with everything.

Their morning went on, they ate breakfast with the others. Taehyung worked on his hair again and then they were alone in the penthouse. The stylists had all left for the day to work on the outfits that Jaebum and Jinyoung would be wearing to the banquet the next day. They were not going down to training, they’d both agreed it was too dangerous. Jinyoung had a nervous energy about the decision and he wasn’t sure why. It was safer to stay away but he couldn’t push down the feeling that it felt like hiding. He wondered if them going down would show that they weren’t afraid.

Jinyoung didn’t try to change their decision. He was happy to just spend his time with Jaebum. They sat on one of the couches together, Jinyoung had his legs rested over Jaebum’s lap and a book in his hands but he he couldn’t focus on it. He looked up towards Jaebum who was also reading, his own legs propped on the small table in front of him, his elbow rested against Jinyoung’s knees. 

Jinyoung moved his knee bending it enough to move Jaebum’s elder and shake him out of the focus on the pages in front of him. Jaebum turned to him, his eyes inquisitive. Jinyoung loved that look when his eyes got real big and confused. It was cute. He blushed at the thought of thinking of Jaebum as cute. It reminded him once again that Jaebum wasn’t much older than him, the games had just forced him to grow up so young.

“What is it?” Jaebum asked him, his lips forming a bit of a pout from being pulled from his book. Jinyoung wondered for a moment if he’d hurt Jaebum’s shoulder from jostling his arm. The thought made him feel guiltily

“Hyung,” he said softly, he saw something in Jaebum’s eyes change. He wasn’t sure what it was he saw there nor was he sure why he wanted Jaebum’s attention so badly in that moment. He decided to ask a question that he’d held off asking for a long time. 

“Can you teach me how to play chess?" He saw Jaebum’s face change again, his expression was surprised then it shifted to a soft grin. He rested a hand against Jinyoung’s leg, and tapped it slightly. 

"We don't have a chess board," he responded. Jinyoung blushed slightly at Jaebum’s arms both moving down to rest against his legs. 

"Hani went on about it..." Jinyoung shifted his focus back to the conversation at hand.

"You think she has a board somewhere?" Jaebum asked. Jinyoung was glad that he was able to fill in the blanks because Jinyoung was unfocused. 

"She definitely does," Jinyoung responded. Jaebum smiled Jinyoung moved to stand so they could look for it. They spent what felt like a hour searching for the chess board. Jinyoung didn’t even know what it looked like, and Jaebum kept describing it to him. He knew very little about the game in general but he knew Jaebum knew more. When they found the board it was not what he expected. It was a square filled with a bunch of smaller squares with alternating colors. 

They set the board out and Jinyoung couldn't tell the pieces from each other. He was glad Jaebum knew exactly had to set it up. Jaebum looked at him with a nervous smile before he began to explain each piece, it's role, and how it was moved. It echoed back to what JYP had told him about the pieces place in the game. He listened carefully and Jaebum illustrated the rules and each move. 

The information Jaebum was sharing something he wanted to store in his mind so he could call upon it later when the games began. He had a feeling it was important, like a hint of some sorts. He was annoyed when Jaebum explained how limited the king was. Every other piece in the game seemed much more powerful. The king outside the defense of the other pieces was extremely vulnerable and the game was won by killing the king.

Jinyoung found he also disliked how the turn based nature of the game meant that none of his pieces could defend if Jaebum moved to kill them. He couldn't counter at that level. He would have to counter by thinking of each piece that he had. He had to think of them all like one unit working together and he did not like it one bit.

The first game they played he lost to Jaebum easily. His king had been put in check mate where no move he made could save it. He didn’t like the feeling of being stuck with no way out. It reminded him of the game piece he kept close, that maybe his own enemies wanted him trapped. The thought made him feel a stab of anxiety. There was nothing positive about those thoughts. He was really upset with the game and it's limited strategy.

"This game isn't fair," Jinyoung complained as he lost another game to Jaebum. He felt they went down too easy.

"Why?" Jaebum asked him calmly. He seemed focused on the board, planning his next moves.

"Because in real life the king would be able to fight back and kill your bishop and your tower," Jinyoung said, he felt the entire thing was illogical. 

"And how is he going to do that?" Jaebum asked, he still did’t sound invested in the conversation. His eyes were flitting about the board. He understood the game so well, Jinyoung wondered if his father had something to do with it.

"With a bow," Jinyoung responded to Jaebum’s question in the way that sounded best to him.

"Want to go another round?" Jaebum asked him after he rolled his eyes at Jinyoung's suggestion. Jinyoung was a bit upset by Jaebeom’s response, he felt he had given a valid suggestion. He as the king could be much more powerful than the measly little coward of the piece in the game in front of them. His heart sank as he thought of how cowardly it was to stay back from training.

"I don't know that I like this game at all," Jinyoung said, "there is literally no defense, your pieces just die when your opponent moves their own piece into their space. That’s not how battles work, they should get a chance to defend themselves.”

"There is defense," Jaebum responded, "it's all about how you watch your opponents pieces and their trajectory."

"No the game is wrong," Jinyoung argued, "if all the players lined up in a open field there would be mini battles to be fought within each pieces moves. You can't just move into someone's space and kill them."

"I didn't make the game Jinyoung," Jaebum replied. Jinyoung knew that but it didn’t mean he wasn’t allowed to be upset. He’d been happy to do something with Jaebum that he felt was productive but Jaebum didn’t seem to be really listening to his frustrations. He set up the game board again while inspecting all the pieces.

"I know you didn't make the game,” Jinyoung retorted, "but I am telling you this game is wrong. That's not how it works in real life." He was definitely frustrated with how the game was formatted, but he was more frustrated with Jaebum dismissing his concerns.

"It's about strategy," Jaebum replied, "moves and counter moves." 

"It makes no sense," Jinyoung replied with a pout, "a single pawn shouldn't be able to knock down a tower just because it was diagonal to it." 

"Rook," Jaebum corrected him. Jaebum had corrected that a lot but Jinyoung wanted to call them towers. They looked like little towers to him and towers weren’t supposed to move or be knocked down by small pieces.

"It's not about what the pieces are," Jaebum replied, "it's all about strategy and getting in a situation where your opponent can't make any more moves. You don't need to think of these as individuals. You need to think of them as obstacles in your objective to stop your opponent." Jaebum was being patient with his whining but Jinyoung was still frustrated with him.

"It still doesn't make sense," Jinyoung complained.

"That's because you're just moving pieces because you can," Jaebum responded, "you need to think about all the possible moves I could make and that you could make and evaluate which pieces should be moved. You have to try and predict what I am going to do, and force me into making the moves you want me to make.” He hated it, he didn’t like manipulation. He’d been manipulated enough to know how painful it was.

"That's also not how a battle works," Jinyoung whined again, "you don't have visibility to see where the enemy could go, you can only see whats right in front of you.” He was really irritated that anyone thought this game was well put together. It was nonsensical.

"This isn't a battle," Jaebum stated, "it's a strategy game."

"That mimic's a battle," Jinyoung quipped. That was what he saw when he looked at the board, that someone had made it completely wrong.

"Do you want to play another round or critique a game as old as time while I sit here and defend it?" Jaebum asked, and Jiyoung could tell he was actually getting annoyed. Jinyoung smirked but he was annoyed as well.

It was normally fun to annoy Jaebum, but he felt like Jaebum was completely pushing aside his frustrations. Regardless he agreed to play again just so he could complain some more as it went on. Jinyoung tried to think of each move that Jaebum could make but he was annoyed with the limited aspect of the pieces he had in front of him.

"Why is the queen so important?" he asked the elder, "she literally should be the one the army is protecting not the king.” He really had no reason to complain about it since his own queen had just killed one of Jaebum's knights. He hated that he had been given a king by JYP and he felt it was an insult. Apparently JYP saw him as a wimp who could get nothing done and had to sit behind the battle line while everyone else got killed. The thought put him in an even more sour mood. This whole game was mind numbingly stupid.

"It's not about the queen," Jaebum sounded exasperated. "It's just a powerful game piece we call a queen.” He was clearly holding in a lot of snide remarks he could say in response. Jinyoung waited for them but Jaebum didn’t say them. Jinyoung realized he was being a bit unfair given Jaebum’s physical condition but he was annoyed at getting nothing out of Jaebum.

They played on a few more moves and Jinyoung wanted to flip the board as Jaebum took down one of his towers with a pawn. Jinyoung felt the move was a personal assault on his whining about the games fairness. Jinyoung tried to find a move and moved his knight next to the king. Jaebum moved his King to take out the knight within the next move. 

"At least the king was useful for once," Jinyoung remarked.

"You need to have another piece in place so when the king moves he's in a trap," Jaebum informed him but he had said that several times already. Jinyoung didn't like it so he had no intention of playing it that way. A few moves later Jaebum had won the game once again. Jinyoung responded by moving his king to knock down each of Jaebum's remaining pieces. He measured that was how a real king should respond to being cornered. That was how he would respond with his bow.

"Jinyoung this is just a game," Jaebum sighed clearly exasperated. Jinyoung pouted at him. "Sometimes I swear your a 5 year old trapped in a 19 year old's body.” Jinyoung’s pout quickly turned into a glare.

"I just don't get the point of this game," Jinyoung responded, "if the king is powerless it's just stupid. What use is it even having a king?"

"Is this about something else?" Jaebum asked him, the elders eyes had narrowed. Jinyoung was glad he finally realized but he wondered if Jaebum already knew about the game piece he kept hidden. Maybe he had left it out somewhere and Jaebum had seen. He thought he had hidden it well but another part of him wondered if Jaebum was the one hiding something.

Maybe the elder knew more than he had let on, like the year before he’d made plans without telling them to Jinyoung.

"You're right," Jinyoung responded measuredly, "it's just a game." Jaebum eyed him warily in a way Jinyoung didn’t quite like; Jinyoung moved his arm to knock the board off the table. 

"What the hell was that for?" Jaebum asked, his expression was stunned.

"I just felt this game was infuriating," Jinyoung said he then stood up to leave. His emotions were getting the best of him quick

"Excuse me," Jaebum said calmly, “you come back over here and pick all this up.” Jinyoung sighed and walked back over. He knew he really shouldn't be acting like he was a day after Jaebum took a poisoned arrow in the back for him. He picked up the pieces and put them back on the table before turning to leave.

"Jinyoung," Jaebum said his name in a very serious voice, "come sit down now." Jinyoung hadn't heard Jaebum ever talk that sternly about anything. Jinyoung had given him a tough time before but that tone of voice had never come out. He reluctantly turned back and took a seat even though he wanted to argue about it. He didn't look at Jaebum he looked away towards the ground. It was going to be a serious conversation he had wanted but still didn’t feel ready for.

"What is going on with you?" Jaebum asked him pointedly. Jinyoung knew this was Jaebum attempting to get him to talk it out.

"Nothing is going on,” Jinyoung said, "the game was just annoying." Jaebum's eyes narrowed again which said a lot because his eyes were naturally narrow. Jinyoung hadn’t meant to annoy him into a lecture. 

"This kind of behavior from you is never nothing," Jaebum said, "now talk." He could tell Jaebum was stressed as well. It reminded him he really was being unfair.

"We're under a lot of stress shouldn't this all be expected?" Jinyoung asked him. He almost had confidence he could dodge the serious discussion. Almost.

"And you're taking it out on the innocent game?" Jaebum looked like he wanted to believe that was all it was.

"Yes," Jinyoung said with confidence.

"Jinyoung I would really like it if you would not throw tantrum's over things like this," Jaebum said, "please restrain yourself next time.” Jinyoung was relieved he’d gotten past the interrogation on his behavior at least. 

"I'm sorry," Jinyoung said and he did mean it. Te then looked out towards the window. There wasn't much for them to do today with how things had gone, not that he minded spending his time with Jaebum. He’d be happy if they both just went back to sleep, or sat together the rest of the day. He was still worried about perception and if staying away from the training room really was the best choice. If they went down they didn't know what would happen but Zico was apparently not doing well after Jackson beat him senseless. Maybe they would be able to go down without incident.

Maybe they could make a show of strength by choosing to go and face what had happened head on. Jinyoung was beginning to wonder even more of running and hiding was the answer to anything. He also knew if they didn’t go down they couldn't get down to district 5's floor to just see them. They would miss a whole day of connection with their allies and gaining information. 

“Jaebum,” Jinyoung said softly, he didn’t know how the elder was going to respond, “maybe we should go to training...” Jaebum’s brow furrowed at his suggestion. Jinyoung understood why they were being cautious. Jaebum could have died from that poison, and the shot was meant for Jinyoung. It was the last training day which meant after they wouldn’t be in danger again until the arena. At least not danger from the other tributes.

“I’m not sure...” Jaebum began a sentence but didn’t finish it. He looked exactly like his words unsure. Jinyoung could tell Jaebum was probably processing it like he was. 

“It’s just,” Jinyoung said, “we can’t talk to our allies from here.”

“I know,” Jaebum agreed. 

“And they’re probably there right now,” Jinyoung continued.

“I know,” Jaebum said with a nod.

“And we don’t have to go the whole time,” Jinyoung added more, “just for like a few minutes to see them.”

“Maybe,” Jaebum said. 

“It could be just fine,” Jinyoung responded.

“Maybe,” Jaebum said again, he seemed to he weighing it.

“We really don’t have good reasons to stay,” Jinyoung added.

“Yes we do,” Jaebum said, “Zico was trying to kill you, who knows who else was in on that plot.” 

“And Jackson took care of him,” Jinyoung replied, “he’s out.”

“Like I said,” Jaebum stated, “there is no way Zico acted alone. And I am not strong enough yet to protect you down there, I’m worried. There are options Jinyoung. We’ll see Jin and Yoongi tomorrow. We don’t need to take action today.” It still felt wrong to cower away. It made him feel like a stupid king who had to hide away in his castle while everyone else fought his battles. He hated it. He wanted to fly in the face of everyone down there and flaunt his abilities. If he got hurt he would still stand strong, he hated every other option.

“I don’t want you to protect me,” Jinyoung said. He didn’t want Jaebum to become his shield, he wanted to be Jaebum’s. The elder sighed.

“Jinyoung-ah I will continue to protect you,” Jaebum said, “you know that.” Jinyoung looked at him, he felt so much guilt for what had happened to Jaebum. He wanted to ask why. He wanted to tell Jaebum he wasn’t worth it but he knew Jaebum wouldn’t agree and they would just argue and nothing would change.

“I want to go down to the training room,” Jinyoung said instead, “just for a bit. Just to talk to Seokjin hyung and Yoongi hyung.”

“Jinyoung I don’t want to put you in a bad situation,” Jaebum said. He was once again trying to control everything. He was still playing mentor with Jinyoung even though he wasn’t his mentor anymore. Jinyoung was confused by it, because at times he felt like Jaebum only felt responsible for him and that was the only reason Jaebum took care of him. It bothered Jinyoung.

“But this isn’t your decision,” Jinyoung replied, “It’s mine. Remember you ware not my mentor anymore. I am going even if it’s just for a bit, if you don’t want to come with me you don’t have to.” Jinyoung laid down his ultimatum and he expected Jaebum would probably still go with him.

“As if I would let you go alone?” Jaebum asked just as Jinyoung thought. He looked stressed at the thought of it. Jinyoung was resolved though. He would go down even if just for a few minutes. He needed to go for himself

“Let’s go then,” Jinyoung said and he got up and headed towards the elevator. They got in and hit the floor number to go to the training room. They were then cleared by the system to go down. Jinyoung didn’t even flinch when Jaebum put an arm around his waist and pulled him even closer. He understood it was probably what Jaebum needed.

“You’re staying with me,” Jaebum said to him, their faces were close together, “we are here to talk with the others not to train.” Jinyoung felt like he couldn’t breathe for a moment as he looked into Jaebum’s eyes. The bell rang that they were at their floor. Jinyoung turned away.

“Agreed,” he said. They walked out into the room even closer together than ever before as Jaebum kept his hand at Jinyoung’s waist holding him pressed into his side. They walked in together, showing their strength was in each other. They were people’s JJ Project.

“Look who decided to make an appearance,” a voice came from above. They looked up to see Hyolyn hanging upside down from the rafters an axe in her hand. She looked like she was playing but Jinyoung saw what it was. She was waiting for them close to the elevators, she was waiting to defend them through their arrival and departure. She’d expected a possibility of them coming down and she had their backs. Jaebum nodded to her.

They stepped into the main room. Everyone was there today even Jackson and Zico, who looked worse than Jinyoung had imagined. He had deep bruises on his face and his hands were both bandaged. The Capitol had the best medicine, Jinyoung should have expected him to be patched up enough to still make an appearance.

Jinyoung also noticed Zico was staying as far away from Jackson as possible. Jackson spotted them and nodded to them but he wasn’t the person Jinyoung had talked to two days before. He looked angry, not like the happy squealing man he had met before. Jinyoung wondered about him and still felt that there was something odd about him. 

"Jaebum," they turned to see Yoongi approaching them, Jin was chatting with Park Joon and Sunmi a ways away from them. Jaebum’s grip around Jinyoung’s waist didn’t falter for a moment.

"What's been going on down here?" Jaebum asked him.

"We honestly didn't expect to see you both down here," Yoongi said, "it's been tense but everyones been quiet after what happened.”

"Of course they have been," Jaebum said. Jinyoung believed it was because he hadn't' been present for everyone to target. He glanced to Zico again the boy was glaring at him, gaze steady. Jinyoung glared back, he didn’t want to be intimidated but that gaze frightened him. Jinyoung looked away.

"Has Sandara made anymore connections?" Jaebum asked Yoongi.

"Jisoo is a pawn," Yoongi said lazily.

"I knew that," Jaebum said, "anything else new?"

"Heechul and Taecyeon are on our side," Yoongi stated dryly, "same position."

"Wait what are you too talking about," Jinyoung had almost tuned them out when he heard the mention of a chess piece. He knew something was going on that they weren’t telling him and it bothered him.

"We're talking about your allies kid," Yoongi said once again very dryly. He eyed them but there was seemingly nothing else too it, they were mapping out his allies. What did Sandara have to do with it? Jinyoung felt if they had allies he needed to know about them.

"Wait how will I know my own allies?" Jinyoung asked, they were hiding something. It felt too much like they didn’t want him to know what was going on.

"The ones that don't try to shoot you in the back," Yoongi said, "those are you allies. The ones who scowl at you those are your enemies." Jinyoung narrowed his eyes at him.

"To be fair you scowl at everyone," Jinyoung quipped back. Yoongi smirked in response, the look in his eyes was cold but there was a lot more too it. Yoongi was the one Jungkook talked about the most, it was natural Jinyoung should wonder about him.

"Enough," Jaebum said to both of them, "we're working on it Jinyoung."

"What does this have to do with chess though?" Jinyoung asked him, and he remembered Jaebum's very pointed questioning earlier. Jaebum definitely knew something, he always had a knack for bring super cryptic and trying to keep secrets. What was JYP Planning and who was involved? Jinyoung wondered about JYP’s words about living in a game. Did that man side with the districts or was this all a game he was playing to root out rebellion?

"Jinyoung we can't talk about it here," Jaebum said his tone lower and more of a warning. Something was definitely up and it had to do with the chess piece JYP had given him. It wasn't hard to figure out, everyone else got the powerful pieces and he got the cowardly king. He really began to wonder if JYP was giving out chess pieces. He had seen the man holding a piece in his hand the first day of training. Maybe he just had a chess obsession. Maybe he wanted the arena ahead to be the most entertaining in history so it was possible he had taken it far to ensure that outcome.

Maybe JYP had given out black chess pieces as well, maybe Zico was the black king or Taeyeon since she was their archer apparently. What was Jaebum not telling him and hadn’t he learned his lesson from the last time he withheld info from Jinyoung? Did he want it to happen again?

"Jaebum, I want you to be up front with me," Jinyoung said, "what is going on?"

"We can't talk here," Jaebum said, "I'll explain later." Jinyoung looked to Yoongi whose eyebrows were raised.

"Listen kid you can't blow the whole thing before the games begun," Yoongi said and Jinyoung wanted to respond sarcastically to him but Jaebum spoke up first. 

"We are keeping our heads down and staying careful," Jaebum said. Jinyoung felt his body go warm with the embarrassment of being scolded by both of them, he shook off the feeling. He was tired of feeling like just a piece in multiple people's games. Yang's game and now JYP’s, he just wanted to go home with Jaebum back to his family. It was then that Seokjin approached them.

"I don't think you both should be here," Jin said, "things have died down because Jackson scared everyone yesterday but your presence is causing more talk. Joon says to be watching everyone. We can't trust these people not to try something again.” Jinyoung wanted to fight them but he understood it was best for them to remain cautious. 

"Okay we're leaving," Jaebum said. Jinyoung looked around then he spotted something that unnerved him. Taeyeon had done bow training and was now above him on the scoreboard. She had scored a 878... 

"But..." Jinyoung began as he watched her continue to train. Jaebum followed his eyes and saw it.

"We can't stay Jinyoung-ah," he said. Jinyoung didn't argue with him because he knew if he did then things could go bad again. Someone else could get hurt, and he didn't want to see someone else lying in a bed, pale and hanging onto their life because of him. He didn't know that he could handle that happening again.

So they left, Jaebum holding Jinyoung much closer than the day before and with numerous allies watching their backs. They made it out with no incident. When they got back to their floor Jinyoung found he didn't want to talk. He simply went to their room and laid down in their bed. He sunk into the covers and drifted to sleep his day was too emotionally exhausting and he didn't want to deal with it anymore. The next day held the evaluation and the banquet. The day following they would have the interview, and then the arena would begin again. He was so far away from everything again.

He didn’t feel like himself.

When Jinyoung awoke again it was to the feeling of hands he recognized slipping into his own. He opened his eyes to look into ones he knew well. The shape of them, the depth of them. Eyes he wasn't afraid to look into and linger. At times he would let his gaze linger on Jaebum's eyes. Eyes he felt understood him even better than he understood himself. He gripped Jaebum’s hands back, they were soft yet so strong.

He knew the elder had woken him up on purpose for a reason. He wasn't laying next to him or settling in with him. He always had gentle ways of waking Jinyoung up when he knew things had gotten more difficult for him. Jaebum needed rest too and Jinyoung wished he would just come to bed with him. Jinyoung sat up, they sat facing each other.

There was always something in Jaebum's gaze that Jinyoung had never understood. Today there was a weariness, but something akin to sadness was still present like it always was. Something deeper than just that. It was like there was so much to be read from each time Jinyoung just gazed at him.

He got one of his hands lose from Jaebum's grasp then reached up to brush the hair out of his face like Jaebum always did to him. He always loved it when Jaebum comforted him with gentle touches. He wished he could brush the worries away as easily as he could brush the stray hairs from off his brow. He wished he could change the way the elder's eyes would shift from sadness to worry. He wanted to see joy there, to see him smile always. He liked Jaebum’s smile.

Jinyoung smiled at him, hoping he would see a smile reflected in Jaebum's eyes but they shifted. There was that emotion that Jinyoung didn't understand. He really hoped it wasn't sadness. Jaebum reached his own hand up to trace the lines of his eyes formed by Jinyoung's smile as if he was fascinated by them. When Jaebum did smile Jinyoung noticed the beating of his own heart had increased. That simple smile meant so much to him. He felt happy seeing what he wanted on Jaebum's face. 

He moved his hands and leaned forward to embrace Jaebum. The elder returned the embrace but there was much more to it than had ever been before, Jinyoung felt it. There had been so much between them that was left unexplained but the way they touched each other, that was simple. Jinyoung pressed his cheek to where Jaebum's jaw met his neck, where he could feel every breath the elder breathed. Jaebum's fingers brushed the back of his spine as if gently imparting strength. They were each other's completely even without words, none were needed between them.

Everything they were was beyond what the universe might have built for them. They would strike it down and built their own empire in the midst of the ashes. They were strong enough as one, as their bodies fit together perfectly, there was so much warmth between them. They belonged pressed together. Jinyoung knew it was dangerous to keep pushing but he didn’t want to let go. 

Jaebum moved his head but Jinyoung didn't shift with him, he stayed where he was as Jaebum pressed his lips to Jinyoung's temple. It was so gently but it was also unmistakable unlike the first kiss to his forehead. Jaebum lingered and Jinyoung let him, he would let him linger for hours. Jinyoung closed his eyes as Jaebum moved back and pressed a second kiss against his face. He moved his head down where Jaebum’s shoulder met his neck and pressed his own lips against the patch of exposed skin.

He felt Jaebum’s breath catch, Jinyoung liked that sound. Jinyoung leaned back to look at him and Jaebum pressed his lips against Jinyoung’s cheek. Jinyoung wondered for a moment what it would feel like to have Jaebum’s lips against his own. He was scared to make a move to try it so he just pressed his face back against Jaebum’s neck to hide the blush he knew had spread on his cheeks.

He wanted to stay like that forever. To forget the games, to forget everything but Jaebum.

But they didn't have that time, Jaebum did have a purpose for waking him. It was dinner time and Jinyoung was okay with that. He understood it was the elder trying to take care of him. At times it was annoying but in those moments it was sweet. He needed to eat and to keep his strength up because in the days to come he needed all his focus. The next day would begin the end of their time in safety. The arena was coming and Jinyoung would have to make sure that Jaebum was the one to make it out. 

That was all he wanted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lots happened in this chapter it's kinda up and down.
> 
> The next chapter is called "I Can't Stop Time"
> 
> I changed the series name to "Hunger Games AU: Golden Wings" to avoid confusion with the other hunger games au under the JJP tag at the moment.
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Please comment and let me know what you think. JJ Project continues to get closer and closer but it's still a slow slow burn.


	13. Can’t Stop Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jinyoung faces evaluation and the banquet.

The morning was a whirlwind. Jinyoung woke up to Jaebum picking him up to carry him to breakfast. Jinyoung knew it was to keep him from arguing but he didn’t mind. He wished the others weren’t around then he’d probably sit closer to Jaebum. He liked being held by Jaebum, he loved being close to him. After breakfast the styling teams separated them to get them properly prepared for the evening. They had to go through a variety of treatments since they would be fully styled for the banquet that evening.

Jinyoung noticed that Taehyung was more talkative than usual as he went through his beauty treatments. Jinyoung was never a fan of the preparation aspect of the games. Taehyung talked on and on about the foods that were prepared for the banquet and the rumored guest list. Jinyoung knew him well enough now to know that talking more than normal was a way he handled his nerves. It was a sign that the young stylist was getting anxious with the games fast approaching.

When they were ready and Hani did the honors of leading them down to the evaluation center. There they sat last in the queue of tributes. Jinyoung was behind Jaebum due to seniority within the wins coming first by district. So Jinyoung would once again be the last person for evaluation. He remembered how excruciating waiting was the time before. He was glad at least that he was waiting with Jaebum.

Evaluation brought back memories. He sat still next to Jaebum whom a year ago on evaluation day first forced him into a very uncomfortable nap time. He smiled thinking of how odd Jaebum’s behavior was back then and how angry he was when he found out why.The elder definitely could be infuriating but he was very patient when Jinyoung was struggling. Jaebum always figured out what was wrong with him sometimes before he had even processed it. Jinyoung didn’t know how quickly he could grow to depend on one single person.

They waited side by side, other tributes watched them and glared at them but there were no weapons present in the waiting room. It wasn't dangerous but the glares were not comforting. He felt tense as his eyes met Zico’s who sat across from them. He looked at Jinyoung with hatred. Jinyoung turned away quickly and looked towards his hands. Jinyoung reached out and intertwined his fingers with Jaebum's. He didn’t look at Jaebum but he could feel Jaebum’s eyes on him. He felt strength because Jaebum was there with him.

The others had tentative allies who would eventually turn on them, Jinyoung had his best friend. He had someone who he considered part of himself, everything. He had something to fight for and to protect. He felt like he was better off than anyone else because he had Jaebum with him. He leaned his head on Jaebum’s shoulder like he could hide from everyone there. Jaebum shifted and put an arm around him, Jinyoung was sure the others would talk about how close they were but he didn’t care. 

As he waited he realized he hadn't been prepared for evaluations to be going faster than normal. The presentations were going quickly and people kept being called back for their turns. He remembered the year before everything had taken hours and by the time he’d finished his evaluation he’d been very tired and hungry. Things were different for the games they faced. It didn’t take long for Jaebum and he to be the last ones left in the room. 

“Why are these going by so fast?" Jinyoung asked him. He felt more at easy speaking with the others gone. Jaebum shrugged in response to his question.

"People are angry and not taking their time to really present anything of worth,” Jaebum replied, "they all already have reputations and known skills. It's not like normal where every tribute is trying to impress the panel.” Then Jaebum was called back, he squeezed Jinyoung’s shoulders and got up and left him there. They would see each other on the other side but Jinyoung found himself missing Jaebum’s presence the moment it was gone.

Jinyoung waited for a few minutes and he wondered what Jaebum was doing on the other side. He didn't know what to do himself. He didn't even care. No one else seemed to be taking evaluations seriously so he wasn’t sure he wanted to either. He considered just throwing some paint on the floor in protest and walking out. He also considered kicking over all the weapons stands and giving the panel the middle finger. They’d done so much to make tributes lives hellish, he was angry and he wanted to express that anger.

When he was called into the room he walked in to see things were very neat and orderly. Instead of kicking things over and throwing a tantrum he had a different idea of what he wanted to do. He hoped it was offensive enough.

He went to the camouflaging station and grabbed some paint. He then sat in the center of the room and began to work. He wasn’t good at it in any way, his handwriting was still childish since he’d only learned to read and write that some. He was still sure that he would get his point across with what he was doing. He knew it was defiance, obvious and clear defiance, but they were already trying to kill him.

He didn’t think there was anything immediate that Yang could do to him worse that throwing him in an arena with Jaebum. He worked the paint and worked carefully to get the letters right. He worried for a second that he would mess up the spelling but he pushed on with it. When he was done he stood up and stared up towards the panel, his eyes saw all their faces. They looked surprised, he looked towards JYP and saw something strange in his eyes… Jinyoung glared at him. Jinyoung had written on the floor the words he knew would be seen as nothing but defiance.

**Panem Will Rise**

He had also written the names of every tribute he could remember from the year before. Highlighting the names of the ones he knew the best. He wanted them to remember those children they had killed, their names. He wanted it in their faces, everything they’d done. He hung his head and whistled softly, Jungkook’s whistle, one he wouldn’t forget.

He looked at JYP again and Jinyoung realized what emotion was in his eyes as it become more apparent. JYP was looking at him with pride. The man was a mystery to him that he was sure would be difficult to decipher. Jinyoung turned and walked towards the exit on the other side of the room. When he made it out the other doors Jaebum and Hani were waiting for him on the other side as he expected. He smiled upon seeing Jaebum there and they joined hands as they walked.

“Both of you were way too fast,” Hani said with an annoyed tone of voice. “But since everyone did the same I’ll let it slide this time.” She walked ahead as they entered the elevator. Jaebum squeezed Jinyoung’s hand. They made it up to their floor quickly and were greeted by the others. Both Jaebum and Jinyoung were taken by their style teams to prepare for the evening festivities.

The format of the days was laid out different than the year before. The year before the President’s banquet was set the day after evaluation but for the Quarter Quell they had moved the banquet up a day to decrease the number of days before the games would take place. The Capitol had not given a reason for the change but everyone assumed it was to move the games forward faster. 

Jinyoung relaxed into the treatments and soon enough Taehyung sat in front of him doing his makeup. The younger stylist was quiet, not talkative like normal. Jinyoung decided to try and get him to talk, but nothing he did work.

“Are you okay?” Jinyoung finally asked a more pointed question. He knew the answer was likely obvious that Taehyung wasn’t okay and the reason was obvious as well. What was looming ahead of them meant that only one could make it out and it was likely when it ended that district 12 would have no victors left. Taehyung looked at Jinyoung sadly.

“Is anyone okay hyung?” He asked. Jinyoung felt his heart sink, he hated seeing his friend hurting. Taehyung looked tired and Jinyoung wondered why.

“Tae have you been sleeping?” Jinyoung asked him. He didn’t like seeing Taehyung looking so out of it. The younger looked reluctant but he shook his head no.

“Why not?” Jinyoung asked, he hated the idea that Taehyung was stressed about the games.

“I haven’t been able to sleep much,” Taehyung responded, “because there’s a lot going on right now, we’ve been working hard…” He stopped and continued working on Jinyoung’s face like there was nothing more to add to that statement but Jinyoung knew something as missing. Something right in front of them.

“What have you been working on?” Jinyoung asked. Taehyung had stopped to abruptly. 

“Just stuff,” Taehyung replied. Jinyoung was absolutely certain that someone wasn’t telling him something that was probably important. There was something under the surface, and Taehyung and BamBam were likely a part of it.

“Taehyung what’s going on?” Jinyoung asked him. He hoped Taehyung would be honest with him.

“I can’t talk to much but I’m worried hyung,” Taehyung responded, “we’re all involved now.” 

“Involved in what?” Jinyoung asked him, he saw how the younger’s face shifted as he seemed to re-compose himself. He sat up straighter and wiped the gloomy expression off his face, he almost looked like himself again in seconds.

“Jinyoung hyung,” he said, “it’s been an honor to be here with you. I can’t say anything more.” And he continued with Jinyoung’s makeup. Jinyoung was respectful of what he said and decided not to ask further questions about what was going on. He knew whatever it was would eventually be revealed. He would respect the youngers wishes and not pry any further. He worried though whatever was going on seemed very serious and he didn’t want Taehyung getting hurt. He didn’t want the younger caught in whatever crossfire was coming.

Taehyung was so bright, someone he cared about so much. He wasn’t someone Jinyoung could handle loosing. Everything he had ever done was to take care of Jinyoung, to make sure that with the trauma he faced that he was okay. Jinyoung wanted to do the same for him, to make sure he would be okay when everything happened.

“Taehyung whatever it is, promise me you’ll stay safe,” Jinyoung said softly. It was something he wanted so badly.

“None of us were ever safe hyung,” Taehyung replied and Jinyoung saw the solemn expression fill his eyes, “the game was always something we would be a part of. It was never about living, it was about surviving. There was never a choice, we were never safe. This is the cost…” He paused and looked away.

“The cost of what?” Jinyoung asked.

“The cost of freedom,” Taehyung replied, “every person here paid a price to be where we are. Our debts will be paid.” Jinyoung felt his heart rate increase, he was scared.

“Taehyung please tell me you’re going to be okay,” Jinyoung said.

“None of us know what is going to happen hyung,” Taehyung replied, “and I won’t lie to you about that.” And Jinyoung embraced him, suddenly scared for him and for everyone in their group. Could Yang tear it all away? Everything he loved? What were they doing? What were they planning? Jinyoung didn’t know if he could keep ignoring the fact that he got the feeling that everyone around him knew more than he did. He would need to confront them and something about it felt too close to last time. It would end badly like it did before.

They finished up and Jinyoung wished he could take Taehyung and run away from the Capitol. He was too precious to be involved in any of it. BamBam came in with a garment rack, on it Jinyoung saw a zipped up bag and wondered about it. BamBam pulled a white suit off the rack and held it up and Jinyoung put on whatever clothes that he was told to until his stylist was satisfied. Jinyoung was dressed in white, with a black shirt beneath his white clothes. 

“You are pure to them,” BamBam explained his choice of clothing, “because you’ve never killed. You’re unique and people love you for that part of you. I want you to know we’re all fighting for you.” BamBam finished as he rearranged a bit of his hair. 

“Why?” Jinyoung asked him, “you’ve been straight with me in the past, what do you know? What are you all planning?”

“All will be revealed in time,” BamBam said, “you’ll understand then.” Jinyoung realized that not even BamBam would be straight with what was happening. He explained nothing but that only made Jinyoung worry more. He didn’t want to just wait and see it all unfold, he wanted to know what everyone else was planning on doing. Yet everyone was cryptic, hiding everything in front of him. If he lost any of them he would certainly fall apart again. Did they not realize how difficult it would be for him?

“BamBam please,” Jinyoung begged for him to say something, “I can’t go in their blind again. I can’t go in there knowing people are going to die for me. Please don’t make me do this.” He didn’t think he was strong enough to have his experiences repeated over and over. BamBam looked very sad, but he didn’t look like he was going to bend to Jinyoung’s pleading.

“The thing you have to understand Jinyoung,” BamBam responded, “this was never just about you. Nothing any of us have done was just for you alone. This is about all of us.” Jinyoung felt tears fill his eyes.

“BamBam…” he began but was cut off.

“We have all fought a battle a since we were just children,” BamBam said, “I wanted life to go differently when I was young and before I was picked up for the games. I wanted to be my own person but I never got that chance. None of us ever had a chance before so of course we’ll take it when it’s right in front of us. We’re like you, we defy him. So if anyone does give their life know it was for much more than just you.” 

“Bam,” Jinyoung said, “I don’t want to lose people anymore.” He had to say what it was he was most afraid of, he had to say it out loud. Jinyoung felt pain in his chest, in his heart. He knew people were going to get hurt in the days to come and he knew he couldn’t stop it.

“There is always a cost,” BamBam said, “and we will all gladly pay it. This is about ending everything. We don’t want kids to be taken from their families for sport, we don’t want people to live their lives starving and barely hanging on. Things in this nation need to change.” Jinyoung understood what he was saying and he felt selfish, because he’d rather hold on to the people he loved than to see that change happened. He wasn’t sure how to reconcile how he felt but he knew he just had to keep moving forward.

They finished up and Jinyoung walked out to meet the rest of their group. Jaebum walked out in darker colored clothing. They once again linked hands, they both knew how difficult this next stage would be. They would be brought to bow before the man who sought to destroy them. He would keep hold of Jaebum’s hand in the face of what was coming.

They walked out to the transport, Jinyoung didn't quite realized he was anxious and frightened until his free hand started tapping a steady rhythm. He was tense from the pressure and he knew what was on the line. Everything that he had failed to do and every threat that was ever on him would be right in front of him. He didn't want to be afraid anymore.

Jaebum put arms around him in the transport and whispered soft words about how it would be okay. Jinyoung wondered suddenly what they were, with how they attached to each other. He looked up at Jaebum, their faces close together but the others were around them. He breathed in and laid his head on Jaebum’s shoulder. One of Jaebum’s arm was around his shoulder, his other hand slipped and gripped his thigh. Jinyoung smiled slightly, he liked everything Jaebum did.

The transport arrived quickly and when they stepped out together hand in hand, the people shouted their names. There were people gathered waiting to catch a glimpse of them. They wanted to see them together. They waved to the crowd as they walked through to the venue awaiting beyond them.

They were led back to where the other tributes were in the hall that would lead the out towards the President’s throne. They stood behind their enemies in district 11. Zico and Ji-hyun didn't glance their way once neither did the other former tribute with them. Jinyoung and Jaebum kept their hands locked together, holding onto each other was the only thing to ground them.

They didn't speak, they did't need to. They imparted strength through a simple grasp, it reminded Jinyoung of their past but he hoped for a future. Names were called and districts were represented by tributes stepping out onto the stage. Jinyoung's heart pounded. The clock couldn't be stopped in the moment in front of them. Time never slowed down for anything when he wished that it would. He focused on breathing, slow and deep. He focused on existing and not losing himself to the haze of fear.

When their names were called they stepped out into the lights, the face of their enemy was on them. Jinyoung’s heart pounded in his ears. He followed Jaebum's lead as they bowed low all the way to the ground before an enemy they both knew wanted them dead. When they stood again he beckoned them forward. Their hands were locked. Jinyoung was about to release Jaebum's but he couldn't with the elder gripping his hand so tight. Jinyoung knew the hatred Jaebum had for the man in front of him.

"Welcome tributes from district 12," President Yang spoke and Jinyoung’s eyes met his, "you both have this honor to serve us once again." There was an intensity to how Yang stared at Jinyoung, something about it made Jinyoung feel like he couldn’t look away. He’d spoken to the man before, met his gaze before but the way he looked at him was different. Yang was searching his eyes, searching for something Jinyoung didn’t understand.

"Thank you sir," Jaebum said his voice cold broke the moment. Yang looked away towards Jaebum. Jinyoung noticed then his heart was still pounding, he wondered if Yang could see it in his chest.

"Be careful Jaebum," Yang spoke low and measured, "you have something to lose this time." He looked to Jinyoung and spoke again "You both do." Jinyoung's heart pounded violently, he felt like his chest was going to burst but Yang’s gaze softened as it looked at him.

"I am very glad to see you again Jinyoung,” Yang said, “It’s been a long time. He put his hand forward for Jinyoung to take like he had the year before. Jinyoung took it, he was scared to do anything but obey what his oppressor wanted. He was frightened by it but he reached his free hand forward to Yng’s. The man looked in his eyes again and Jinyoung wanted out of his gaze. He felt like the man could see everything, every secret he was hiding.

"You truly are magnificent my boy," President Yang spoke with a fondness Jinyoung didn’t understand, "I wish you all the best when you enter the arena. You are my favorite to ever enter and I wish you all the best. May the odds be ever in your favor." He let go and waved them off. Jaebum's grip around his hand tightened as they walked off the stage together and to their table. Jinyoung felt like he couldn’t breathe as the interaction weighed on him.

When the lights were off them, Jaebum pulled Jinyoung against him. Jaebum had a strong grip on him as if he could protect him from the people around them. Jinyoung could feel the elder was shaking as well. Nothing in the Capitol was safe, everything was a danger to them. The game around them was one of deception and of lies meant to keep them blind.

The next thing the night held was the announcement of their evaluation scores. After a few speeches a presentation of the scores began and Jinyoung turned his attention to them. The presentation also included the profile of each victor and how they won their games. Jinyoung focused on the scores.

 **District 1**  
_Taeyeon_ \- 11, _Jay Park_ \- 10

 **District 2**  
_Park Bom_ \- 10, _Lee Joon_ \- 10

 **District 3**  
_Park Joon_ \- 8, _Kim Jisoo_ \- 8

 **District 4**  
_Wang Jackson_ \- 11, _Lee Gi-Kwang_ \- 9

Jinyoung wasn't surpirsed Jackson had gotten 11, he had proven his skills many times. He was wary about Taeyeon getting an 11. He hoped that things turned out like the year before. In that case he would end up with a 12 and be ahead of her.

 **District 5**  
_Min Yoongi_ \- 12, _Kim Seokjin_ \- 9

 **District 6**  
_Ok Taecyeon_ \- 8, _Yang Seung-ho_ \- 9

 **District 7**  
_Kim Hyolyn_ \- 10, _Sandara Park_ \- 8

 **District 8**  
_Lee Jae-yoon_ \- 7, _Kim Heechul_ \- 9

 **District 9**  
_Lee Sunmin_ \- 9, _Lee Joo-yeon_ \- 6

 **District 10**  
_Lee Min-gyeong_ \- 4, _Jang Woo Hyuk_ \- 3

He was all attention as he realized the last two districts were the next ones on the list. District 11 held two enemies he would have to be wary of during the games, and when 12 was announced he would see his own scores and Jaebum’s. With how high many of the scores had been despite the short evaluations, Jinyoung had high hopes for his own scores.

 **District 11**  
_Lee Ji-hyun_ \- 9, _Zico_ \- 11

 **District 12**  
_Im Jaebum_ \- 11, _Park Jinyoung_ \- 9

Jaebum had outranked him, so had Zico and he’d only ended up tied with Jihyun. He was surprised by the scores. He looked to Jaebum, he was confused by what he was seeing. He wanted to know how the scores had been determined. Jinyoung didn’t know if his decision not to show a weapon played in, but if it did he wasn’t sure how he’d even gotten out with a nine. He was more curious of what Jaebum had done to get his score. He couldn’t ask because more speeches were going on and he wouldn’t have a chance until after the dinner was finished.

What was more important than Jaebum’s score was the fact that Zico was ranked higher than him by two points. So was Taeyeon and she had beat his scores in training. That all seemed to say that she was better than even he was with a bow. She would likely gain a lot of the publics favor from the scores. There was also the fact she was popular before, Jinyoung felt a sinking feeling in his stomach that what happened in evaluations would make things worse for them.

He couldn’t focus on the speeches and announcements until a familiar person stepped up to the podium. It was JYP and the screen said that he was there to make an announcement about the games. Jinyoung worried the announcement was that the interview had been cut and their last day would then be gone. He wasn’t sure what else it could be.

“Greetings to everyone in Panem, near and far,” JYP began his speech, “I am up here today to announce a change up in our rules surrounding the 75th annual Hunger Games.” Jinyoung listened carefully, he knew every change effected the game for him. 

“We have decided that this year we would add to the significance of these games. They are very important to us and signify much of what holds this nation together,” he spoke slowly care infused with every word. “So to add to the significance our gracious president has decided to add generosity. These games will end with 2 victors.” A murmur rose up in the crowd. Confusion filled Jinyoung. Two victors…

“If two tributes from the same district can conquer the arena they may exit together. The most important part of this is they must be from the same district.” Jinyoung realized in seconds that it meant Jaebum, it meant that Jaebum and he could make it together...

“We partiality scored today’s evaluation on their abilities to work together as a team,” JYP continued. “We believe the public will all be very excited by the games we have set up. We want everything to be more meaningful and significant as this is our 75 year. Thank you to our districts for providing the highest caliber of tributes and to our tributes...” the man looked through the crowd and found Jinyoung’s eyes. “May the odds be ever in your favor.” It sounded like he spoke those words directly to him. The crowd cheered but JYP’s gaze lingered on him.

Jinyoung wondered why everyone seemed to have their eyes on him. He was tired of it. He was tired of the intensity and the way his heart felt in response to how afraid he was. What was ahead of them was uncertain, and it seemed everyone knew his secrets before he did. He felt drained, he didn’t like the feelings he got from all those around him.

Jinyoung was left confused. He wondered what JYP and the President were playing at. Why would they change a rule right before the games began? What could it all be for? He worried it was to make it more difficult for him to get Jaebum out. Now eyes would be on them as a team, as a threat together. Maybe that was the reason, to give him hope then to pull it away. Maybe Yang wanted things to be cruel in the worst way. The threat against Jaebum still weighed on him, he couldn’t get rid of it. He felt sick the rest of the evening.

When they made it back to the penthouse they had to go to their respective stylists to get their makeup off. Jinyoung’s mind was buzzing with wondering what sort if game Yang was playing and what was JYP’s true role in it. He hoped whatever it was that he could get Jaebum out. It was all he wanted, even if it cost him his own life.

—————

Jaebum hated the processing of getting makeup put on and taken off. Though his current stylists were more merciful to him than his previous ones when he’d first faced the arena. Jennie had asked for permission from Yugyeom to dye his hair but she was denied that so Jaebum was safe. He was worried she would do it despite lacking permission but he was glad she hadn’t.

They had almost finished with the job of cleaning his face when Hani came into the room and demanded to speak with him. He had never had a high opinion of her but he understood she was an ally. She probably had a good reason for interrupting the process of getting him out of his styled look.

“Yes Hani?” He allowed her in. He knew if he didn’t she would just keep demanding her way.

“I am here on behalf of our allies,” Hani said to him, “I knew you’d want to hear this immediately.”

“Yes,” Jaebum asked her to continue. He knew she could just add a multitude of words to whatever she felt she needed to say. The point could get lost with how much she spoke.

“I was able to speak with Jung Hoseok,” Hani said, “if you don’t know he is the tribute escort for district 5. He asked me to bring you down to their floor tonight to speak with them. We must enter the elevator just after midnight to go unnoticed. Once we arrive they have words for you regarding our allies.” 

“Just me?” Jaebum asked. He needed to know if the invitation was extended to Jinyoung. She nodded in response to his question. That meant he had to get Jinyoung to sleep in such a way that allowed him to easily slip out without waking the younger. Jinyoung wasn’t often a particularly light sleeper but with the stress of the evening Jaebum worried he would have more trouble that night.

“I don’t like us keeping Jinyoung in the dark,” Jaebum remarked. He knew the younger already suspected that there was a plan in motion. Jinyoung was already demanding answers, and the more they withheld the more upset he would be later.

“It is too dangerous,” Hani replied, “the less he knows the better.” Everyone had kept saying that but Jaebum was unsure it was true.

“The less he knows the more likely he will act out of sync with the plan,” Jaebum replied, “we gotta give him more than we have. We can’t keep telling him just trust us we’ve got this. He won’t know who to trust, and he might act brashly once we’re in there.” 

“That’s at your hands,” Hani said, “you may divulge whatever you want to him but the less he knows the less Yang knows.” He was tired of people saying that. He didn’t believe Yang could really see everything like people kept saying. But there was something in the way the President had looked at Jinyoung, Jaebum didn’t like it one bit. He wished he could hide the younger from the President’s gaze.

“I understand,” Jaebum said. He really did, Yang’s eyes were on Jinyoung. So were everyone else’s. If he fought like he knew his allies could be trusted then people would know they were planning something. He had to remain wary of them. It was a dangerous line to walk because Jinyoung could end up killing someone he didn’t trust if he thought Jaebum was in danger. Jaebum sighed, he hated it.

After the stylists finished with him, Jaebum got into bed with Jinyoung. He laid and held him and waited for the youngers breathing to settle. He listed for it to signal to him that Jinyoung was fully asleep. He hated leaving him even for a moment. Jinyoung seemed so troubled with the evening’s affairs, and within that he had been very quiet. Jaebum understood that Jinyoung was occasionally shut down in his own mind. Jaebum worried more when Jinyoung acted that way, it was the only time Jaebum couldn’t fully read him.

When Jinyoung was angry or petty at least Jaebum could figure him out. He could predict what he was thinking. When he was quiet he had walls which Jaebum couldn’t yet see through. He wanted to be able to tear them down but if they were shelter to Jinyoung, who was he to destroy them? He ran a soothing hand along Jinyoung’s back as the younger drifted to sleep.

Jinyoung’s breaths went steady, each deep and strong. Listening to the sound of him breathing was like listening to life itself, a sound only life uttered in each rush of air. Jaebum was happy he could hear that sound coming from Jinyoung’s lungs, showing that he was alive. There was a time Jaebum worried he would never see him breathing again. He still worried, he didn’t know what he would do if he lost Jinyoung. Jaebum untangled himself from the younger gently. He was careful not to disturb his rest. He leaned down and kissed Jinyoung’s forehead softly. It was such a simple way to show affection, to show love. He was addicted to it.

“I’ll be back soon,” he whispered to Jinyoung even though he knew the younger wouldn’t hear or remember those words. He hoped he could ease his mind even in rest. Jaebum left the room quietly and met up with Hani in the hall.

“Perfect timing,” Hani said as she kept her eyes on a communication device in her hands, “let’s go.” He nodded and followed her lead. The elevators were locked down to the tributes to make sure they could not move throughout the building freely. They would be a danger to each other if they could, and they might mount an escape if they were allowed to work together. There were many reasons, but Jaebum didn’t really care. It was just another way to keep them prisoner. 

They entered the elevator to descend, Hani chose the floor and Jaebum saw it was indeed the one they wanted. He still couldn’t shake the feeling that he shouldn’t trust her. The elevator reached their destination and they entered the home of their friends. They were greeted by someone Hani knew, Jaebum assumed it was Hoseok.

"Welcome!" the man said he held a hand out to Jaebum, "I'm Jung Hoseok, tribute escort of district 5." Jaebum took his hand.

"Im Jaebum," he replied, the man had a strong grip and a bright smile.

"They're expecting you," Hoseok said, "this way." He led them down the hall towards the main sitting room where Namjoon, Seokjin and Yoongi were all waiting together. Their eyes turned to him and Namjoon gestured for him to take a seat. Namjoon was the youngest but he had a charisma to him, he acted as leader for them despite his age.

"Jaebum welcome," Seokjin was the first one to speak in greeting. Yoongi and Namjoon followed with their own greetings.

"You wanted to see me," he replied. He wasn’t sure how to begin the conversation at hand. He did trust them completely, but it was still difficult at times to fully communicate with them.

"Yes with the new development in the games it was vital to discuss what has been going on,” Namjoon said, "and this could be our last opportunity. We have a full day left but that day won’t give us much of a chance.”

"What do you think about the rule change?" Yoongi asked him a question to begin the conversation. 

"It seemed to me like they want to divide us," Jaebum replied. He had thought when it was announced, that there might be no better way to break up a large alliance than dangling hope and calling for district team ups. Several alliances would be effected, and he hoped it effected more of their enemies than it did their own prospects.

"Well since the announcement," Namjoon began, "We lost alliance opportunities with Sunmi and Taeyeon. We were trying to neutralize some of the bigger threats but now they are planning on teaming up their district in a bid to win.” Jaebum was surprised.

"Taeyeon might have been our ally?" Jaebum asked. She would have been a powerful ally, as it was she was likely their most dangerous enemy. He didn’t know much about her. He regretted not forming more friendships among the former victors now that those friendships mattered. 

"She has no love for the Capitol," Seokjin replied, "I have known her for awhile. But she has too much to lose. She has two sisters, one of which is really sick right now. She wants to go home to them, and is worried if she sides with a plan to ignite rebellion that they'll be killed in retaliation.”

"Everyone cares about something," Jaebum said. Yang had played that game against them for a long time. Tearing away the things they loved to make them bend to his wishes. He didn’t doubt Taeyeon’s fears were the results of previous threats against their lives. He also wondered if she had parents or if it was just her sisters.

"And not all of us can risk loosing the things we love,” Namjoon stated, "I understand her decision.” He did too but it was rough to know they might have been able to have two archers on their side when the game began. With Taeyeon as an enemy things would be difficult but he’d already planned for her to be one. He would prefer it if she wasn’t against Jinyoung, he wished they could find a way.

"Anything else we can do to help our case?” Jaebum asked. Maybe he could talk to her and convince her of what they needed to do. But what could he say? That the lives of those she loved meant nothing? He knew how painful it was to loose a younger sister.

"Unless we could secure her family there is nothing we can do,” Seokjin responded, "but none of us has reach that extends that far. None of us can take people out of the districts and shelter them.” So there was no way to win that battle.

"We'll have to rely on Jinyoung then," Jaebum said. He hoped that Jinyoung could win in a match against Taeyeon.

"She can outshoot him," Yoongi said, "she was trained for combat with a bow since she was 7 years old. Jinyoung’s good but he’s not that good.”

“No he’s better than her,” Jaebum stated, "he's barely scratching the surface of what he can do and if he does shoot to kill our enemies will go down, even Taeyeon.” He wasn’t certain but he really did believe in Jnyoung.

"He can't do that," Namjoon responded.

"What?" Jaebum asked.

"He can't become a killer in all this," Namjoon said, “the people follow the fact he has refused to kill when it came down to it. They love him for it, if he breaks that part of his image will break too." Jaebum wasn’t sure it mattered that much. Things had changed and he was sure the people would understand that. 

"We don't need him to kill," Yoongi stated, "I can do enough of that blind.” Jaebum was glad at least Yoongi was on their side, he was the highest rated and Jaebum didn’t doubt he could still be dangerous without sight.

"Wait did Taeyeon happen to be a part of JYP's plan?" Jaebum had a sudden thought.

“Yeah, she was a part of his plan. She was approached after day one of training," Yoogni said, "she was JYP's pick for the second knight. She was thinking about it and now she refused."

"So what is JYP planning to do with that other piece?" Jaebum asked. Maybe JYP had a good replacement in mind who would help them. They’d lost Sunmi as well. Maybe Bom would be his choice to take that position if Taeyeon refused. 

"There is no plan to place someone else in that position," Namjoon replied, "or else that person would have been able to be identified by now. We're down a piece and the game hasn't begun yet but we have a strong team. We have a fighting chance to win this even without Taeyeon. She was never our sole focus.” Jaebum understood that Namjoon was right. The game was bigger than one person.

"Technically Yoongi is like 5 pieces," Hoseok said from the other side of the room, "So you'll all be just fine." Jaebum smiled and saw Yoongi smirk. If it was anyone else he would say that Yoongi was overconfident but he understood just how good Yoongi was.

"He did get a 12," Namjoon said adding to the statement.

"Jinyoung got one last year," Jaebum stated, “and I wonder why he didn't get that high this year." Jinyoung’s score had surprised him. He didn’t know what Jinyoung did in evaluation but it seemed odd that it was lower than his own.

“It’s because he's not the same person as he was last year," Yoongi said, "he was evaluated as a killer last year. This year he was evaluated based on the fact he will very well be protected by you. Teamwork is key for this game, and your team is unbalanced. Jinyoung relies on you and you know it.” Jaebum breathed a deep sigh. The two victors announcement really had shaken things up. He’d seen the hope in Jinyoung’s eyes the moment he’d heard it followed by fear.

"We only have one more day," Jaebum said, “and Jinyoung's not ready." He couldn’t stop anything that was coming and it bothered him to know that Jinyoung was still so damaged. It wasn’t ever meant to be a fair fight.

"No one is ready,” Seokjin responded, "you can't be ready to walk into this." 

"Jinyoung will be fine," Yoongi stated, "we won't let anything happen to him. We will be watching over him with you.” Jaebum nodded, he knew Yoongi was as protective as he was because of what Jinyoung had done for Jungkook. Yoongi would be a key player in what was to come, and Jinyoung had won his loyalty because of that boy.

"You need to get back before someone realizes your here,” Namjoon spoke up, "we just wanted to inform you of what we knew, we didn't find the last two pawns but we think they're part of your entourage." He thought about it and knew that it would make sense with how invested BamBam was. He wondered if it was BamBam and Yugyeom.

But thinking about it further he realized it was BamBam and Taehyung. They had worked together for a long time. Taehyung had stopped looking like his normal bubbly self. He had been much quieter and more reserved. It could be Taehyung, and whatever they were planning was big enough that it had Taehyung frightened. 

"Thank you," Jaebum said to them, "your help has been everything to us."

"We're going to see this thing through," Namjoon said, he picked something up off the couch, "and this is for Jinyoung, from JYP himself only to be opened by Jinyoung when the time is right." It was an envelope. Jaebum reached out to take it. He was confused by what it could mean.

"How will he know?" Jaebum asked. He didn’t expect another gift from JYP but he was certain it was something meant to help them.

"It says 3 days on it," Namjoon stated, "I assume it is meant to be opened in 3 days. He is supposed to carry it into the arena with him and open it when three days are up. That was the instruction I was given.” Jaebum didn’t count on Jinyoung having enough patience to wait that long.

"Okay," Jaebum said, "i'll carry it for him and give it to him when the time is right." They nodded and all said their goodbyes. Hani led him to the elevator and back up to the penthouse. He was left with a lot to ponder. A lot rode on the tiniest shifts of decisions. Much could be changed by the time the games began because so much could change in a day. He hoped for Jinyoung’s sake that all the changes ahead of them would be good ones.

He got back in their room quietly, silent as he could. He heard Jinyoung's breathing, it wasn't steady like it had been when he had gotten up to leave. It was erratic and Jaebum worried he was awake and frightened. He reached a hand to Jinyoung’s face and realized the younger wasn't awake but whatever dream he was having couldn't be good.

Jaebum slid back under the covers and moved his arms to pull the younger close to his chest. Jinyoung didn't awaken but Jaebum felt the tension his body release as he settled into the familiar warmth of Jaebum’s embrace. Jinyoung’s breathing steadied, he melted into Jaebum even though he was still asleep. It made Jaebum worry because Jinyoung had grown so reliant on him that if he inevitably didn't make it Jinyoung might lose his mind.

He had never wanted it to go as far as it had, but he couldn't stop it now. It was far to late for any of it to change. Because he found in the same way, he needed Jinyoung too. He needed Jinyoung to chase away his doubts, and to remind him of everything he was fighting for. Jinyoung made a difference in his life. He’d changed him, cracked the shell he’d put around his heart. Jaebum needed the boy he loved to show him the way. 

A year before he had toyed with the younger for his own gain and he hadn't had something to lose then. He had gained everything. If things turned he knew he would save Jinyoung over the nation any day and any time. He was compromised by this fact. 

He had everything to lose.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy GOT7 5th anniversary.
> 
> Sorry about the late update, I am on vacation at the moment so updates have slowed. Thank you for understanding.
> 
> Next chapter is called "Holding On"
> 
> Please comment and let me know what you think. Reading your comments this time got me motivated to get this out. <3.


	14. Holding On

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jinyoung and Jaebum face their last day before the arena.

Jinyoung awoke to sounds in the living room, someone was yelling and disturbing his sleep. He turned over in Jaebum's arms. He had begun to wonder why it wasn't uncomfortable to have Jaebum's arm underneath his back while he slept. He guessed it had just become normal. He didn’t understand how it could be normal.Nothing about them was normal. 

Jaebum didn't wake up when Jinyoung shifted in his arms. He didn't wake up when Jinyoung reached and moved his bangs out of his eyes. He didn't wake up when Jinyoung traced circles around his arms to feel the softness of Jaebum’s skin. He wondered if Jaebum had slept well, he was sleeping soundly. Jinyoung ran his fingers up towards the top of Jaebum’s arm. He was strong, much stronger than Jinyoung was. Jinyoung felt small next to Jaebum. He traced his fingers along Jaebum’s bicep. 

Jinyoung looked up and saw the way the elders shirt fell. He saw a sliver of one of the scars that was on the back of his shoulder. Jinyoung had asked him about his scaring shortly after Jaebum had started helping him through his anxiety attacks. Jaebum had just said they were from the games. Jinyoung hadn't wanted to hear all about how he got them so he hadn’t asked then. When he was ready to hear Jaebum’s story he had connected the fires too them. 

He had three large scars that definitely fit the profile of burn scars. Jaebum had used fire in his games to take out the careers, and the result had been getting burned. One of his scars on the back of his shoulder, another was at his side stretching from his hip to his ribs. The last one was smaller and on the back of his other arm, well hidden by the jackets and long sleeved clothing he wore most of the time.

Jinyoung knew it was probably extremely painful for him to deal with those burns. He was just thirteen when it happened, not even fully grown. He’d had to keep going in the games despite the pain, without sponsors to help him. It made Jinyoung sad to think about how alone Jaebum had been during the games and after. Jinyoung reached his hand back to trace his fingers along the scar on the back of his shoulder gently. 

The skin of the scar wasn't smooth but it was a part of his story, a part of who Jaebum was. Jinyoung hadn't needed to know then but sometimes he wished he had asked sooner. He still regretted not asking Jaebum for his story when Jaebum was so unselfish with him. 

At his lingering touch Jaebum stirred. Jinyoung wondered if he ever felt phantom pain from the scars and if he ever remembered just because of that pain. There was a scar on Jinyoung's body, on his side from Minho's sword and sometimes he felt like it was open again and bleeding. The pain felt like the day he got it, like he could die from that pain. He wished if Jaebum ever felt like that, that Jinyoung could take those phantoms and ghosts of the past away from him. To where all Jaebum would be able to see was Jinyoung. 

Jaebum's eyes opened and Jinyoung felt Jaebum’s hand move along his body. Jaebum knew what Jinyoung was thinking, what he was remembering. Jaebum's hand slipped under his shirt to trace that scar Minho had left on his body. The scar that made him afraid to trust anyone. The scar that carried a memory of betrayal.

There were times when it was too much, when that burning phantom pain had made him cry out as if it was fresh. Those were times Jaebum's touch had reminded him that it was all over. Jinyoung wondered if it helped Jaebum the same when his hands touched the elders scars.

Jinyoung realized he wasn’t breathing as Jaebum’s hand traced down to his hip and back up towards the scar. The way he touched him was different than before. Jinyoung looked at Jaebum, his eyes were focused on Jinyoung’s face. Things were changing between them, Jinyoung could feel it each day that passed. Part of him wanted to rush in, but another part of him was nervous, tentative about what they were and where they were. Things could be so easily torn away from them.

"Jaebum-ah," he said softly, Jaebum's lips tilted upward in a slight smile. Jinyoung responded with a smile. There was so much warmth in his heart, feelings igniting his veins when he looked at Jaebum.

"Jinyoung-ah," he said as his thumb gently ran over the scar. Jinyoung began to wonder what it would be like to feel the elders hands everywhere. The thought was a dangerous one with so much uncertainty before them. Maybe that didn’t have much longer, maybe they had forever. They didn’t know for certain.

"Tomorrow," Jinyoung said softly, he didn't need to say much more. Jaebum already knew.

"I'm right here," his voice was everything. What they had was enough, more than enough. Jinyoung didn’t feel he needed more in that moment. Maybe it was because he had no idea how to process the things he felt, no way of knowing what it really meant.

He pressed his body closer seeking all the warmth Jaebum had. Seeking to hide for this last day as long as they could. They would be together when the cannon sounded, they would find each other an run together. What memories they endured in the game to come they would share. He was frightened of what was ahead, but he was happy that there was hope. There was hope they could make it together.

Jaebum's hand against his skin was warm, like a fire that burned away all the phantoms of his past. Like the only person who could ever make him believe again. There was a reason they were given each other. He was thankful that Jaebum had entered his life, that he had stayed.

— — — — —

Jaebum would have been happy to stay in bed the rest of the day. He wished they could skip the interview and spend their last day of freedom together under blankets holding on. BamBam had knocked on their door and told them they needed to report to their styling teams. Jaebum had kissed Jinyoung’s nose lightly and Jinyoung had responded by trying to keep him there with him. Jaebum had gotten up even though he wanted nothing more than to stay. 

He expected styling to be simple and routine but things changed quickly. Jaebum was calmly sitting in his chair getting his makeup done. Jennie was all smiles which was normal. She had gone on and on about what the plan for the interview was, then she uttered 7 words Jaebum had never thought he’d hear from her.

"Yugyeom said I can dye your hair!" She was so excited and gleeful. Jaebum was in shock. He didn’t want his hair colored, he didn’t want it to change. It was fine as it was, he wasn’t going to let her change it.

"No!" Jaebum declared, his face twisting in disgust, "no hair dye..." He’d had a horrible experience when he was younger and a tribute to the games. His stylists had decided to make him blonde, he didn’t want it ever to happen again. He hated the process so much.

"No," Jaebum said louder in horror as he thought through it, "we're not doing that!" He looked to Yugyeom to back him up, the younger stylist just snickered in response.

"You don't get a choice," she responded with a glare as she brushed his hair, "we are doing this and you are going to like it!" She was so upset with him he was taken aback by it. He didn’t understand why she wanted to color hair so badly and why she couldn’t just do her own and not ruin his.

"She is doing this," Yugyeom said to him, "you really don't have a choice. It's part of the plan. BamBam wants fiery JJ Project look for the both of you and he's going to get it. Don’t worry it’s all part of the plan and it will all work out just fine."

"Why do I have the feeling you're going for bright red?" Jaebum questioned, he was really upset with the plan, "it's not practical in the games to have bright colored hair!" He had to come up with a viable argument to stop it from happening.

"We'll dye it back,” Yugyeom responded.

"When will you have time to dye it back?" Jaebum gaped at them. It was a horrible idea and he had to keep fighting them.

"After the interviews!" Yugyeom said as if it was obvious. Jaebum was sure he was pulling this on purpose. He wondered if Jinyoung had anything to do with it.

"How long is that going to take?" he asked. 

"Not long," Yugyeom said with a smile. He argued a bit more but in the end he lost. A couple hours later he was situated in front of a mirror with his hair bright red. His hair had been cut and his natural wave had been smoothed out. He didn't dislike it as much as he thought but it was outlandish and impractical.

"How many hours till we go back?" He asked. He wanted to get it over with, he knew Jinyoung was going to have fun making fun of it.

"Oh come on," Jennie whined, "you look amazing! I would have done this on Jinyoung last year if BamBam had let me but it's definitely fits you so much better!" She was coating more makeup on his face as she spoke.

"Okay Jennie," Yugyeom said to her, "back off now, you’ve done a great job." She smiled and left. Jaebum had to change into a bright red suit meant to match his hair. He really thought the clothing and hair color matching was too much but he couldn't do anything but just bear it. He didn’t have as good of an understanding of what the public of the Capitol would like, everything the stylists did was to get the tributes more support.

"What even is this plan BamBam has?" Jaebum asked. BamBam always had some sort of plot going. Jaebum hadn’t been surprised when BamBam had told him that he thought Jinyoung could really be a victor. He was surprised when he’d realized the lengths that BamBam went to in order to ensure it would happen.

"World domination," Yugyeom replied to Jaebum’s question with a mischievous grin. Jaebum had grown fond of Yugyeom as his stylist but he’d realized early on the younger boy wasn't serious at all. 

"Seriously Yugyeom what's the plan?" he asked. He kept his voice tone serious to avoid further joking banter from the younger.

"I think Jinyoung's costume will change or something,” Yugyeom explained. “He's going to look very plain,but it's like this super complicated technology or something. Bam worked really hard on it. You on the other hand BamBam just said to go fire so here we are.” Jaebum sighed, the dressing up part of the games always confused him. 

Why bother with expensive beauty treatments on kids being sent to die? It was simple in theory, that they were being packaged as appealing products. He knew in theory that it was meant to strip away their identities from their districts and make them fit in to better appeal to the people of the Capitol. The people spent a lot of money on making the games and products related to the games. That money went directly to the President. It was a sad state of affairs in any case.

Jaebum was taken out to sit in the main room and wait for Jinyoung’s styling to be finished. They had about an hour to get to the interview plaza which was plenty of time. He was sure that Jinyoung was almost done and would be arriving shortly. He wanted to know what BamBam’s plain outfit would look like. Knowing Yugyeom’s definition of plain it wouldn’t be plain at all.

Soon enough Jinyoung appeared with Taehyung and BamBam following behind him. He was dressed in black suit that matched his hair. Maybe they just wanted their hair to match their outfits and that was the plan Yugyeom and BamBam had settled on. Jaebum thought Jinyoung looked much better than he did. Jinyoung looked incredible like he always did. Jaebum had seen him with a bed head, tired eyes and puffy cheeks. Even thin Jaebum thought Jinyoung was stunning.

Jinyoung's mouth dropped when he saw Jaebum's hair and Taehyung's face lit up. The younger makeup artist jumped and started clapping. Jaebum was mortified with the color. 

"IT'S RED!" Taehyung shouted, "Hyung you look amazing!" The younger was so excited but Jaebum watched as Jinyoung's expression turned to a smirk. He knew Jinyoung would start teasing him over it and it looked awful. He pouted in response to Jinyoung’s smirk, he was so angry with Yugyeom and Jennie for ruining his hair.

"I knew you would end up red on us,” Jinyoung commented and he stepped closer, his eyes running over Jaebum’s outfit and back to his hair.

"This wasn't my choice," Jaebum said, he felt really uncomfortable with all the attention on his hair. He was upset as he thought Jinyoung didn’t like it. He didn’t like it, he just wanted to get rid of it.

“Jaebum-ah,” Jinyoung said his name and a smile lit up on his face, "It actually works really well." Jaebum looked at him in disbelief. He didn’t know if he could trust Jinyoung. The younger had a mischievous streak that Jaebum found endearing most days, when he wasn’t the target of it.

"I know he looks too good!” Jennie said. Taehyung held up a hand and they slapped their hands together. Jaebum was happy to see them smiling, even if it all was at the expense of making him ridiculous. 

The group then headed out all together. Taehyung and Jennie would be on standby to fix their hair and makeup as needed while BamBam and Yugyeom would both be sitting in the crowd watching the festivities. Hani would be backstage with them as well, as always escorting them from place to place.

Jinyoung seemed very focused as they sat in the transport. Jaebum knew that he understood how important the interviews were but this time Jaebum knew things were different. It wasn’t going to be like the interview before the games or the one before the President’s banquet. Things were going to be much different with the crowd and with the questions asked. Jaebum did worry about how things would play out.

"Jinyoung," Jaebum said to him, "these interviews... The public will be very wild due to these tributes being the victors they love. The victors will be using the publics support to try and stop the games. That is the goal most of them have here. To use the love the public had for them to cause problems…” Jaebum knew how much some of the others would try to use their names to fix things.

"How do they think that will help?" Jinyoung asked. It probably would make no difference.

"The public is angry," Jaebum responded, "they plan on stirring the fire and working to make them angrier." He had to make Jinyoung understand how things could go. "I am telling you this because the sound in the plaza is going to be very loud and I want you to be ready. People are going to be screaming over all this. If you feel panic or any sort of stress just grab my hand, I’ll be right next to you as much as I can be.” Jinyoung nodded. Jaebum hoped he really understood. It wasn’t a small thing that was going to happen.

“Are they really delusional enough to think Yang will call off the games?” Jinyoung asked. Jaebum wondered if Jinyoung thought that there was hope that it could work. It was impossible.

“Some of them think he would,” Jaebum replied, “if we play our cards right.” He knew everything was a long shot at the stage they were in. Even the plan their allies were preparing for. It could all go wrong.

— — — — —

Jinyoung wasn’t ready for the interview but he knew that he was better off than he had been for his interview after his tour. That interview had been during a time that he’d struggled more with panic and fear over Yang’s threat against Jaebum. The biggest comfort he was that he had done very well with that interview. He hadn’t been strong at that point, he felt more prepared for the task at hand.

Things certainly wouldn’t be easy. He knew that he would have to decide if he should join in on the tributes plan or just be playful and sweet with the interviewer. His interview would end the entire event and BamBam had said he sent the interviewer notes that his costume would be a focal point of the whole interview. Jinyoung was told by BamBam that it would light in flames but that they were harmless and he wouldn’t have to be afraid of them. It was meant to be a crowd pleasing spectacle according to BamBam. He wanted to use the interview as a last bid to get more public attention and support than everyone else going into the arena. 

Jinyoung was glad he had BamBam on his side and fighting for him. It was BamBam’s genius that had gotten him attention in the year before. BamBam had created his image and made him who he was in the public eye. He wouldn’t have gotten far without BamBam.

When they got to the venue they found out that the tributes would not wait backstage as in the years before. They were all ushered into seats on stage together. They would all watch each others interviews from the stage and stay the entire time in front of the people. Jinyoung wondered who had made that decision. Each district and tribute was announced as they walked on stage and when JJ Project walked on hand in hand everyone was screaming for them.

Jinyoung was nervous, there was an energy zipping through his veins. They took their seat and Taeyeon was the first up for the interview. Jinyoung thought she looked radiant dressed in all white, her hair had been colored blonde and the crowd was eating out of her hand as she spoke. Jay also got attention as he complained over and over about the games ahead of them.

District 2 did their interview together they had fans in the audience as well who were screaming for them. Jaebum hadn’t been exaggerating when he had told Jinyoung that the plaza would be loud. The noise levels made his ears buzz several times. After District 2, Kim Jisoo took the seat in front of the interview. Jinyoung had been told that the younger girl was not all there. She had such a simplicity to her look and Jinyoung thought she was beautiful. She handled most questions well but did space out a bit between some answers and whenever the crowd got too loud.

Park Joon’s interview came after and he was clearly annoyed with the interviewer. He kept quipping that the games ahead of them didn’t need to happen, and that the Capitol should just stop them and do another draw. His words were actually really clever and he got the subject back on his opinion of what the Capitol should do every time the interviewer tried to change it. Jinyoung found he was impressed by the older man.

Next was Jackson the normally cheery man looked irritated and on edge. He looked frustrated like he was trying to get through the interview calmly but failing. Jinyoung wondered if it was all an act or somehow a glimpse of how he really was.

“I don’t think sending victors back in the games will actually be entertaining,” Jackson told the man with an insistent expression, “we’re going to all sit in a circle and hold hands and sing songs.”

“Sing songs?” the interviewer asked.

“Yeah,” Jackson responded, “you see the people here on stage, we’re all very good friends. We’ve been through a lot together, parties, late nights drinking… Those bonds are unshakable, not the makings of a good game at all.” Jinyoung smiled at Jackson’s words and he wished it was true. What epic defiance it would be if all the tributes refused to fight. 

Next was the other tribute from Jackson’s district then came Min Yoongi. Jinyoung sat up, he was curious what the tributes from District 5 would do. Yoongi just looked angry. Jinyoung had grown so used to his bored expression, he found Yoongi’s angered demeanor frightening. He would never want to be on Yoongi’s bad side, he was sure those who were probably didn’t live long.

“Now you seem angry,” the interviewer pointed out cautiously as he had trouble getting Yoongi to answer any of his questions.

“Of course I’m angry,” Yoongi said with a scoff as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. He had every reason to be angry. The Capitol promised when people won the Hunger Games that they would be left alone in peace and prosperity the rest of their lives. That had turned out to not be true in any way.

“You have the top ranking after evaluations,” the man said, “you are in a good position going in these games. How does it feel to know you are the favored winner?” Then Yoongi stood up and ignored the interviewer’s question.

“Fuck this,” Yoongi shouted, he kicked over the chair, “fuck you, fuck all of you who did this.” He held up his middle finger towards the crowd then walked back to his seat. Jinyoung’s eyes were wide, he was in shock. He didn’t see how such a blatant display of disrespect could help them in any way. The interviewer was flustered and Jinyoung looked towards Yoongi to see Seokjin was next to him shaking his head in disappointment. In any other situation Jinyoung would laugh at their dynamic but he was concerned. 

Seokjin was the next one to take the interviewers chair. He picked the chair that Yoongi had kicked over up off the floor and sat down in it gracefully. He was very charming with the interviewer. He did whine that he would miss everyone, and that he wished he didn’t have to leave them. People were crying, Jinyoung was surprised as he realized that people were actually crying over him. He clearly had done his job very well. He heard a couple people yell stop the games and one screamed that they loved Jin. He hadn’t realized Seokjin was so popular among the people of the Capitol.

The next to be interviewed was Taecyeon and the interviewer asked him about his historic win. Taecyeon asked a counter question of what history had to gain from the quarter quell. Taecyeon also complained that the Capitol went back on its promise for their lives of peace. He was eloquent in the way he spoke of it. And following his interview the other guy from his district was similarly eloquent in giving his argument against the games. People were shouting, Jinyoung felt on edge from the noise as Jaebum had warned him about.

Next came Hyolyn who’s outfit left little to the imagination and Jinyoung saw the interviewer was having trouble with his eyes. She seemed sweet but she was straight up insulting everyone associated with the games while keeping a big smile on her face. Sandara after her got her time to complain and voice her frustrations.

“This whole thing is shit,” Sandara said in her closing statement Jinyoung had to say he agreed with her and so did the crowd. The roar got so loud Jinyoung did grab Jaebum’s hand as if holding on to Jaebum would keep the noise from blowing him away.

Jae-yoon from District 8 was the quietest interviewer and Heechul had people swooning as he spoke of how much he loved the people of the Capitol. Sunmi and Joo-yeon from District 9 interviewed together claiming their team was the most prepared for this and that they would return to see the people again. District 10 was the worst interview, they just sat in their seats staring at the interviewer. They struggled to put words together and Jinyoung was confused by it.

The ones that came next were from District 11, the two tributes that had already scared Jinyoung the most. Ji-hyun was frightening as he glared at everyone. He looked like he was going to kill the interviewer and his slingshot bracelet was on his arm in full view. It wasn’t hidden and everyone knew what it was. He growled at the interviewer and the man flinched. Jinyoung was surprised at it. Next up was Zico who got a lot of cheers from the crowd. He told the interviewer that he looked like a sack of shit, but no one in the audience cared about that. Zico was competition and the people laughed at his words and clearly liked him for some reason.

Zico sat down and Jinyoung realized that Jaebum was next. Jinyoung didn’t even have time to think as Jaebum let go of his hand and went towards the interviewers chairs. Jaebum was the one victor who no one had supported in his own games, except for those who wanted to use him.

Jinyoung saw it all on Jaebum’s his face as he took his place. Jinyoung wished they could interview together as others had. He hated that Jaebum was out there alone facing the crowd. People cheered and Jinyoung was glad that they did.

“You are quite the enigma around here,” the interviewer said to Jaebum, “none of us remembers your games well.”

“It was a bad year,” Jaebum remarked. He seemed nervous and Jinyoung wondered if he should have given the elder a lecture before to get him ready. 

“We do remember your sister well,” the man mentioned, “she was charming we were all rooting for her that year weren’t we. The crowd was awing at that statement.” Jinyoung watched how Jaebum’s eyes reacted. He was surprised by the interviewer bringing her up. Jinyoung’s heart pounded as he wondered how Jaebum was going to respond.

“I am sorry to say,” Jaebum spoke with an edge to his voice, “but if you really supported her she wouldn’t have been sent into the arena .” His statement was bold and people began to murmur. “Jimin was just a little girl who knew nothing of the world beyond her district. She picked flowers from meadows. She tried so hard to help her older brother...” Jaebum paused, the interviewer didn’t interrupt him. “I was 16 when I watched my baby sister die. None of you can understand that pain. None of you lived it. Don’t pretend you can empathize because her blood is on your hands...”

The crowd was hushed. Shocked, because it wasn’t a plea to stop the games. It was an accusation, defiance that was identifiable even by them. Jinyoung looked up towards where the President sat, his eyes were on Jinyoung. Jinyoung glared in response. He didn’t stop himself, he got out of his seat and walked to the elder who had tears in his eyes. No one dared to move as Jaebum’s eyes met Jinyoung’s. The people had called them JJ Project, given them a name. The crowd was hushed as if everyone wanted to see what he would do.

Jinyoung knelt down in front of the elder and reached up to wipe the tears from his eyes. He knew Jaebum’s pain, he knew what this line of speaking would lead to. Jaebum’s eyes met his, there was so much emotion in them. Jinyoung wanted to protect him like he’d protected Jinyoung for so long. He couldn’t let Jaebum incriminate himself further, not after all the elder had done for him. He moved and sat in the chair by him.

“You should interview us together sir,” Jinyoung said to the interviewer, “we are in fact JJ Project. We are a team.” He held up his hand in a J, and with the hand sign BamBam had come up with the tension in the room was cut and the people laughed. Jinyoung’s hand went to Jaebum’s and they awed at them. The interviewer laughed at the sudden turn of events.

“Jinyoung how have you been?” He asked. Jinyoung smiled. He hadn’t been ready to go up and speak but he fell into his role naturally.

“I’ve been happy,” Jinyoung said to the man and it was an honest answer. The days had been frightening, the uncertainty weighed on him but in the midst of that there was something bringing him joy. Something he could explain in one person.

“And whats got you do happy Jinyoung?” The interviewer asked with a smile. 

“I am happy because I have Jaebum with me,” Jinyoung responded with confidence, “he makes me happy.” The peopled awed again gushing over the pair. Jinyoung knew exactly what he was doing. Jaebum had a hard time with the public but they loved Jinyoung. Associating them together would work in Jaebum’s favor.

“And are you two ready to take on the arena as a team?” The man asked with a curious tone of voice.

“Yes we are,” Jinyoung responded, “we are ready to show Panem what we’re made of. You’ve never seen anything like it, by the time this is over you’ll all be screaming our names.” Jinyoung completely believed his statement. The people had never seen what was about to take place. Jaebum and Jinyoung were strongest when they were together. The crowd cheered and Jinyoung’s statement and Jinyoung looked to President Yang again with a confidence. He saw Yang smiling. 

“Now in my notes I heard you costume is exciting like the suits you wore in the tributes parade,” the interviewer got his attention again.

“Yes it was designed by BamBam,” Jinyoung said, “he’s got a brilliant mind for making things exciting.” 

“I know BamBam! We all love him around here, I am currently wearing one of his designs,” the man declared. “He is sitting right there on the front row! BamBam stand and wave for us!” He did and the people cheered for him. Jinyoung smiled, he was proud of his friend.

“Now show us what your costume does, it looks really ordinary,” the interviewer was looking for something. Jinyoung had instructions from BamBam on how to handle that question.

“Okay,” Jinyoung stood up and stepped forward, he pressed the button in his sleeve. He looked to see fire started from the bottom of the pants and began to burn upward. It was unnerving and it looked real. He reminded himself that it wasn’t real and it couldn’t hurt him. A burst of bright colors shone around and he saw feathers coming forth.

The feathers weren’t on his costume they came out from it though. As the fire faded he saw them all around the ground in glittering shades of fire. Reds, oranges, yellows and some hints of white and blue. He looked to see his own clothes were not diamonds they shone though. His suit had transformed completely in appearance. The audience were in awe and making noises of it.

“Oh it’s sparkling!” The interviewer said, “what is it?”

“Fire,” Jinyoung said, his outfit looked like a flame in how the light caught it and everyone clapped and cheered. He took a seat again and looked to BamBam, he knew what the younger had done. He had defied them. BamBam had defied Yang and ignited everything Jinyoung was to the districts right in front of him. He suddenly wasn’t afraid for himself anymore but for the young stylist who sat in the front row.

The interview wrapped up and Jinyoung and Jaebum took their seats together. Zico glared at him but Jinyoung didn’t care. He grabbed Jaebum’s hand and held his other hand out to his enemy. Zico eyed him but took his hand and Ji-hyun’s. Every tribute began to Join hands and then they lifted their hands as a show of solidarity. A show of defiance. Jinyoung smirked as the people began to scream for them, the mob went wild. They all wanted the games stopped.

But it was too late to stop it.

This was their last night. In the morning when the cannon sounded they would all be fighting each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a bit shorter, like a breath before the plunge.
> 
> Chapter 15 is called "Let the Games Begin" and we will see what is coming next.
> 
> Please leave kudos and comments, Thanks to everyone who commented on the last chapter. I am so glad so many of you are enjoying this story. 
> 
> More to come soon.


	15. Let The Games Begin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jinyoung and Jaebum enter the arena.

A year before in his life if someone had told him he would grow to care for Jaebum, he would have told them that Jaebum was a selfish bastard who deserved nothing. Bake then jaebum was someone who Jinyoung didn’t trust, whose motives he couldn’t decipher. Things had changed so much since those days. Jinyoung did not know then how kind Jaebum was, how much he cared about the people around him. He didn’t understand him so he’d judged him. Things had changed more than he could have ever imagined.

He never knew he would find a place of safety and love that no words could truly define for him. He didn't know who Jaebum was then, how he existed to bring light to their world. Jinyoung didn't think Jaebum even knew how truly special he was. He couldn't see himself the way that Jinyoung could. Jinyoung had grown to feel things for him that he would have never realized possible. He didn’t fully understand it because everything was still so new but he knew he wanted to live to learn it with the other. 

The morning the games would begin Jinyoung saw clearly. He looked into Jaebum's eyes and saw what he wanted most. To save Jaebum, to bring him home again like he had brought Jinyoung home. They could do it together, they would do it together. He knew they were strong enough when they were together. 

"It won't be just us out there," Jaebum had told him when he expressed what he wanted. Jaebum had a hand against his face, a gesture that made Jinyoung happy. He wanted more, he wanted everything.

"Yeah but to me only you matter," Jinyoung responded. Jaebum told him that was selfish. That they needed to watch out for their other allies but Jinyoung knew he couldn't stop his whole focus from being on Jaebum. He wouldn't let Jaebum die like the others he cared for.

They awoke early that morning and clung to each other both knowing what it meant. They knew the next few hours were uncertain. They knew it was possible that they may not even last to the evening but they would fight for each other. They would fight for the chance to continue to learn and understand the things that were growing between them. They had saved each other already in so many ways. Jaebum had been there for Jinyoung when all he wanted was death, he had led Jinyoung through his struggles and darkest moments. And Jinyoung had ended Jaebum's solitude, his loneliness from losing his family and watching so many die. Jinyoung had returned to him when he was alone.

If Jinyoung was really selfish he would have stayed there with Jaebum until it was time to leave. But he knew that there were others who wanted to say goodbye. He knew it was right to go to them and to give them that chance. 

Taehyung was in tears as he brushed Jinyoung's hair even though Jinyoung said it was unnecessary. Jinyoung hugged him. Jinyoung told him not to be afraid, that they would both be coming home. Taehyung was important to him and he would wanted to reassure him that they would both be okay. He would take care of Taehyung in the final moments before the games like Taehyung had cared for him when he had come back.

BamBam was the stronger one, he had comforted Jinyoung on the approaching arena. Jinyoung hadn't spent as much time with BamBam throughout the preparation due to his focus being on Jaebum but he knew how much BamBam had been fighting for him. He knew that BamBam had believed in him, he would be the last one with him before he went into the arena.

They all ate breakfast together and Jinyoung couldn't help but wonder if this whole group would ever all be together again. Jennie with her sweetness and desire to dye everyone's hair, Yugyeom's mischievousness, Taehyung's love, BamBam's belief and Hani's strictness. Together they had all formed a little disjointed family. They’d had so many memories together and Jinyoung was sad to think they they could be ending. The games could tear everything from them. They all knew that. Though they tried to push through they all felt the weight of what was coming.

Their time together was over too soon. They were in a transport, Jaebum and Jinyoung together hand in hand as they always were. Jaebum holding a green bracelet Hani had given him and everyone else but Jinyoung that morning. She kept saying the team color was green and Jinyoung just ignored her. 

Jinyoung didn't get one because he had his green Ahgase pin. He had brought it with him in preparation for the games. BamBam had told him to bring it and Jungkook's watch that he would send both as tokens in with him. Jaebum took his hand and touched the watch that Jinyoung wore on his wrist. Jinyoung looked towards him and saw he was about to speak.

"Yoongi told me to let you know something," Jaebum said, "that watch you’re wearing is one of two and that the two are connected." 

"What?" Jinyoung asked. It didn't fully surprise him that Yoongi could make two but he hadn't seen the other one on the elder. Would he wear it in the arena or did one of the others wear it? 

"He made two of them synced on the same radio frequency," Jaebum said, "it was out of range during the last games but he used it within his district in the past to contact Jungkook in the orphanage. It's a short range communication device and he believes that it will work within the arena.” Why hadn't anyone told Jinyoung that important detail yet? 

"How?" Jinyoung asked. Being able to contact such a strong ally would definitely be useful.

"He said he will open the line if we need it," Jaebum responded, "but it is controlled from his watch which means all you can do is wait for him to contact you.” That gave Jinyoung a thought that made his heart sink. Several times throughout the games Jungkook had stared at the watch as if waiting... Jungkook had been waiting for Yoongi to call him, he had been wishing for something that couldn’t happen. 

Jinyoung felt tears in his eyes thinking of it. He remembered how scared the young boy was was and how long he sought for the help of someone who couldn't contact him. Jinyoung wondered if Youngjae right now waited for Jinyoung and if he was afraid. He likely was. He’d be watching and neither of them would be able to reach each other. All Jinyoung could do was fight and hope that he would make it out to see his brother again. Just like all Youngjae could do was hope. 

“When we get in the the arena,” Jaebum said, “we will be separated and placed far from each other in the circle, but don’t worry I will find you.” Jinyoung nodded. He knew he could trust that Jaebum would do everything he could to keep them both together.

“What if they put a bow in my sights?” Jinyoung asked. He wanted to know what Jaebum’s instructions were, not as a mentor but as his teammate. They would be fighting together.

“It’s different this time,” Jaebum said, “you get your eyes on that bow and you run with all your strength to get it.” Jinyoung understood. If there was one bow in the arena, he needed to be the one to hold it.

They didn’t talk for the rest of the ride over, they clung to each other. Jinyoung needed him there. He was very much frightened of what came next and if they would make it to each other in time. He knew it was best to focus on getting his job done, not on the risks of what could happen. They’re best chance was fighting without fear, rushing into the fight with strength. He couldn’t panic, he couldn’t lie down and give up this time. 

When they arrived at the compound Jaebum squeezed his hand as the gaurds separated them. They were both calm because they knew it was coming and there was no stopping it. Jinyoung was taken back to his preparation room and there met by BamBam. Jinyoung hugged the young stylist upon seeing him again. They would be saying goodbye soon enough and Jinyoung would be taken above to fight against trained killers. His body was buzzing with adrenaline in response to the fear coursing through him. There was no getting out of it, no going back to the days before.

“You’re going to be fine out there,” BamBam said. Jinyoung nodded. He wouldn’t argue either way as to how things would go, he only knew he would try his best to survive. “The clothing they gave us is lightweight, some of it is compression. I assume they think you’ll be running a lot. The environment is probably temperate and probably very open which means not much cover from other enemies.”

“Okay,” Jinyoung acknowledged what he said though he knew it didn’t really matter because they couldn’t prepare this late in the game. He knew BamBam likely felt better talking out his nerves in describing the clothing style. He changed into the clothing, some of it was tighter but not uncomfortably so. BamBam helped him put on his jacket. It wasn’t warm like the one from the year before, it was light. Probably waterproof. When he’d finished dressing, BamBam pinned the Ahgase pin on his jacket and ran his thumb over it. Jinyoung could see a sadness and a resolve in the boys eyes. It reminded him of the things they’d spoke of in the days before.

BamBam had said if anyone died it was for more than just him. He’d described the fight and the life he lived. Jinyoung knew what it was that BamBam had always wanted from him. That even more than Jaebum, BamBam had seen him as a victor that could break the system. He’d never understood what it was that made BamBam place so much faith in him. He’d always trusted the stylist even from the beginning.

“Bam are you going to be okay?” Jinyoung asked him. BamBam shook his head no. Jinyoung’s heart sank again. BamBam had willingly sacrificed so much and with the things he’d done there was a clear defiance. He hoped that BamBam would make it.

“I did what I had to,” BamBam said and Jinyoung understood why. After all they’d been through he understood why.

“Thank you,” Jinyoung embraced him again as tightly as he could this time. He wanted to cry but the anticipation of the games reminded him that he shouldn’t. He didn’t want anything to happen to BamBam, he didn’t want to lose a friend who had helped him through so much. Jinyoung would have been nothing without BamBam, he knew he wouldn’t have lived.

“Bam please stay safe,” Jinyoung begged, just like he had to Taehyung. He didn’t want any of them to get hurt in the battles they all fought. He’d blame himself if they did, because if he had pacified the districts the quarter quell would have been different.

“I’ll do my best,” the stylist said. They let go of each other as the buzzer went off. It was time for him to get onto the platform in the tube to be taken above. Jinyoung’s heart pounded in anticipation, there was no more waiting. The games would be beginning and he knew his family would be watching. Jinyoung stepped into the tube and it closed around him, he turned back to see the door to the room open.

He was shocked as the platform beneath his feet began to rise he screamed out. Peacekeepers rushed into the preparation room with guns. He was horrified as he pounded on the glass but he couldn’t get out to stop it. BamBam was grabbed roughly and pushed to the floor. He pounded on the glass again, he was rising fast. BamBam wasn’t even resisting, Jinyoung screamed.

“BamBam!” He called, he saw the stylists eyes meet his. BamBam looked defiant and unafraid of what was happening. Jinyoung realized that he’d expected it, that he’d known it was coming. Tears rolled down Jinyoung’s face, it all happened so fast. The window to the underground was gone just black walls around him. He couldn’t reach him, he couldn’t see him, he couldn’t stop it from happening.

Still he heard it and he cried more as he heard it. 

The sound of a gunshot.

The sound of another one being lost...

The sound of an ending.

A sound his whole heart screamed for. Everything inside him broke forth but he didn’t have time to process what had just happened, losing another friend. It was everything he’d been afraid of but it had happened so quickly. The platform beneath his feet moved faster, the dread in his being.

“BamBam,” Jinyoung called out again, but there was no bringing him back, no getting to him. He knew that Yang wanted him hurting, rattled and damaged when the games began. This was how his enemy sought to rig the game against him from the start. Jinyoung’s body was shaking the feelings in his veins were familiar to him. 

Panic..

He was about to panic. His body was so tense, but he had to breathe, he had to focus. Sunlight burst in his eyes, reflecting from his tears he shut them to block it out. The countdown begun, he opened them. He clenched his firsts and forced himself to make his mind go blank to focus on what was ahead and to push aside the things that had just happened. The president wanted him weak, he couldn’t be weak. He had to push it out, to think of nothing, nothing else but the bow his eyes spotted.

They were in grassland. A giant cornucopia in the center with so many more weapons than the last game. His eyes were on his bow. That was his whole life in his immediate present, he would get that bow. He glanced right and left. Sandara was to his left and to his right was Seung-ho. He didn’t have time to take note of the others, only that the two near him were focused on the center as well. His heart pounded, his body was still shaking but he channeled it all into anticipation. The bow, that was what he needed.

7

6

5...

He couldn’t let them win.

4

3

He wouldn’t let BamBam die in vain. That meant he had to survive.

2

He wouldn’t lose again.

1

The cannon sounded... 

Jinyoung shot forward running with all his strength, the race had begun. His body electric from the energy zipping through his veins. He felt nothing but hatred for Yang and that hatred drove him forward. He didn’t pay attention to anything else but the weapon on front of him and his drive to get to it. If everything he endured was to mean anything he had to get to the bow. He had to win the games, to win them with Jaebum and to take down the people who had taken BamBam from him.

His legs pounded against the ground, the wind whipped tears from his eyes but he wouldn’t stop for one moment. Until that moment that he reached the bow. He shifted down to his knees and slid around. One had too the bow, and the other grabbed an arrow. He notched it within a second. He heard a cannon go off when it had all barely begun. Another sounded immediately after but his focus was not on that. His eyes moved to Seung-ho and he fired the arrow. He hit the tribute in the knee and the man went down hard into the grass. He shifted and threw the quiver on his back before notching another arrow. 

His bow trained on another target when he heard a sound behind him. He turned to see someone lunging towards him but that person never reached him. Jackson wang stepped between and plunged a sword into him. Jinyoung nodded to him as Jackson’s eyes glinted with a smile. Jinyoung lifted his bow towards Jackson.

“Come on Jinyoung,” Jackson said, “If I wanted to kill you I would have when your back was turned.” Jinyoung glared at him and in the next moment Jackson lifted his wrist, Jinyoung caught the sight of the green bracelet on his arm. Hani had gone on and on about their team color, and Jackson wore a smilier bracelet to Jaebum’s. 

“We are allies my friend,” Jackson said, and Jinyoung lowered his bow from him. It was no use trying to fight someone when Jaebum had made it clear that the would have many allies in the arena. He had to find Jaebum.

“We got to go!” He heard Seokjin’s voice, “Taeyeon got to the other bow! We have to get out of here, it’s too open!” There were two bows in the arena after all.

“Okay,” Jackson shouted to Jin, “come on Jinyoung.” JInyoung glanced around, he needed to get his eyes on Jaebum so he’d know which direction to run in.

“Dara let’s move!” They heard Hyolyn’s voice Jinyoung moved his bow in his hand, his eyes searched and they locked with Zico’s. He aimed but the boy moved fast behind the cornucopia. Jinyoung couldn’t get a clear shot if he wasn’t in the open.

“Jinyoung!” He heard his name from Seokjin, “We got to run now.” He didn’t want to run. He wanted to stand his ground and destroy them all but he glanced back and he saw a flash of green. Sandara and Hyolyn were also wearing green bracelets, like the one Hani gave out that morning. He would be safe if he went with them, at least he hoped he’d be safe. 

“Okay,” Jinyoung agreed to run but he wouldn’t stop looking for Jaebum as he did. It was chaos with the cannons that had sounded. They all took off running. Another canon went off as they ran through the grass. There were sounds of metals clashing, Jinyoung turned back and his eyes finally spotted Jaebum with Yoongi on the other side of the field. Jaebum was fighting Bom with a sword while Yoongi was going hand to hand against Zico.

Jinyoung turned fully with an arrow drawn and aimed. He fired without much thought. The arrow he let off hit Zico in the arm, he fell back away from the other two. His eyes once again met Jinyoung’s as he ran for cover. Yoongi helped Jaebum drive Bom back. Taeyeon came around with her bow as the two took off running. She aimed Jinyoung breathed as he fired off a shot. His arrow hit hers and it changed the direction to protect Yoongi and Jaebum as they kept running. He wondered why Yoongi hadn’t grabbed knives. 

“Jinyoung run now!” Seokjin yelled for him. He could see Taeyeon turning in his direction. It was time to go. Jinyoung listened and took off, his feet pounding against the ground to catch the others. They reached a treeline and Jinyoung glanced back to see the grasslands stretched for miles. They left the battle behind and as he reached safety he realized they’d lost Jaebum and Yoongi. He hadn’t thought of the fact that they’d run in another direction.

“We can’t stop,” Hyolyn said to him but he turned back towards the center and the fight that was still taking place.

“But Jaebum!” Jinyoung declared, he didn’t want to be separated from Jaebum. Things had been insane but he’d meant to stay with Jaebum. 

“We’ll meet up with him soon,” Jackson said, “we got to get away from the career pack! They’ll be on us soon we have to run.” Jinyoung nodded and he followed them. Jinyoung fell into stride with Seokjin they came upon a waterway and walked along it. They walked leaving the sounds behind them. And as they walked quickly it all came flooding back to Jinyoung. What happened below them... what had happened to BamBam. He faltered in his step and stopped as the emotion of it hit him.

BamBam…

His friend was dead, killed right in front of him when he’d been powerless to stop it.

“Jinyoung,” Seokjin said, “you don’t need to worry Jaebum’s fine. Him and Yoongi got their weapons. Yoongi will protect him.” Jinyoung shook his head, it wasn’t that. He didn’t doubt those two would be okay together. He trusted Yoongi would take care of Jaebum. The others had stopped for them. Jackson, Hyolyn, Sandara all stopped… They were people who believed in him and inside he was falling apart.

His heart was hurting, inside there were things he didn’t want to face and it was all still fresh. He couldn’t hold them at bay much longer and he didn’t have jaebum to lean on. BamBam was gone... BamBam was never coming back... Jinyoung would never see him again. He would never hear his laugh again.

Jinyoung never wanted any of this...

He couldn’t breathe...

“Jinyoung don’t...” Seokjin’s voice said, “not now, not right now!” But Jinyoung didn’t control the panic and the loss as his breathing rate increased and his heart rate spiked. Jin grabbed his arms as he felt towards the ground. He held onto him and kept shouting his name. He heard Jin counting trying to walk him through it, but he couldn’t control how he felt. 

It was too much and Jinyoung retreated into his mind where everything went black...

Silent

Lost

Cold

— — — — —

Jaebum and Yoongi walked through taller grass than what was around the cornucopia. It was up to their waists as they waded through it. Jaebum looked back at it and worried that they were leaving a trail to be followed. They hadn’t focused so much on where they were heading when they had ran. They had mad for the hills to get out of Taeyeon’s sights and it had worked. But they couldn’t afford to get lost deep in the arena, they needed to find their way to the others before it got dark. The main problem in that was Yoongi’s watch had been knocked by Zico and wasn’t working.

He had said they needed to find Joon and Jisoo who had headed in the direction they were currently heading in. The part of his watch that did work was his compass which allowed him to stay on course. Jaebum was worried, he had seen Jinyoung with Jackson and Seokjin but he had recognized that something was wrong. He could see it on Jinyoung’s face as he’d fought, something had happened. It made him want to run back and find him but he knew that he couldn’t act rashly.

Jaebum wouldn’t set out on his own though and Yoongi was right they needed to find Joon and Jisoo before the careers did. Joon was important to the overall plan being completed. He was the only one with the knowledge to actually complete the final steps. Yoongi had also said that Joon could help him fix the watch which made sense since district 3 handled technology.

The grass they were walking through was deep enough at least to shield them if they spotted enemies but it scared Jaebum for different reasons. Things could hide in the grass, all sorts of things. Yoongi was a better tracker than he was, so he let Yoongi decide in the end if they should venture into it. The older tribute was smiled in all kinds of things Jaebum knew he couldn’t measure up to.

Yoongi stopped in front of him and held a hand up for Jaebum to stop as well. Jaebum watched his hands moved, he had grabbed 5 different knife belts off the center and two backpacks, one of which happened to be fully of knifes. He’d had trouble fighting because he hadn’t had time to get any of them on in position and he was unwilling to let go of them. He wore two of the belts at once, he was loaded up and he kept the others in his bag. His hand moved over his knifes.

“You hear something?” Yoongi asked him. Jaebum moved his hands to the sword at his belt, he had also grabbed one of the axes and a backpack before he got in a fight with Bom. The more weapons they had the better. Jinyoung’s shooting had saved them but he was in a bad place for them to get to. Jaebum listened carefully and he heard what Jinyoung did. He heard a buzzing sound.

“Yeah,” Jaebum said Yoongi looked around. He looked tense as he listened and Jaebum wondered if he knew what it was that was in the arena making that sound.

“Should we continue?” Yoongi asked him. Jaebum wondered why he was asking him, he felt like Yoongi should be the one to make those decisions. He did know that whatever it was it couldn’t be good. They were in an arena, there were a thousand things that could kill them that weren’t tributes if they weren’t careful.

“Let’s get out,” Jaebum said as he glanced to see the end of the grass wasn’t close but it was best not to risk it. Yoongi nodded and they both walked to the side that would give them the quickest way out of the grass. Jaebum picked up his pace, a feeling of dread filled him as he thought of what the sound could be. They almost reached the edge the buzzing got louder. Yoongi’s hands twitched something in his eyes seemed off. They kept moving but he could tell that Yoongi was nervous. If something scared Yoongi he knew he didn’t want to know what that something was.

“We have to keep moving,” Jaebum said as the buzzing increased even more. He was absolutely sure that was the right decision he didn’t want to find out what the buzzing was. They neared the edge of the grass as large bugs floated out, the buzzing was screeching and loud in his ears. The bugs looked like giant mosquitos, the size of his fists. He increased his pace to get out of the grass and Yoongi pushed ahead of him. They made it out but they were followed.

“Run!” Jaebum shouted. His heart was pounding, he didn’t know what they were but Yoongi clearly did. Jaebum had never seen him frightened over anything but he was frightened and running hard. Jaebum felt a stabbing pain in his neck, he cried out and swatted at the giant bug. He pulled his hood over his head. He didn’t know how much use the clothing would be at blocking them out but he hoped it helped. Yoongi stumbled and tripped to the ground. Jaebum rushed to him and noticed welts on his hands and neck. He looked dizzy.

“Yoongi!” He shouted, “we have to keep going!” Yoongi nodded and Jaebum helped him up. The bugs were still following and Jaebum held onto him as they ran. One of the bugs got through his clothing to his back, he felt his mind addled by whatever they put in his system. He knew that running was their only chance but he was starting to feel off. How were they going to get out of this when so many bugs followed them? 

They needed relief. They needed the buzzing to stop because it was driving him crazy along with whatever venom they shot into his body. He didn’t know if he could keep running for much longer, but he had to as he was practically dragging Yoongi along. This couldn’t be the way they went down, they had to fight back somehow. 

It was then he smelled a strong burning smell, he turned his head and saw it smoke and fire spreading from that side of the valley. Maybe whatever creatures they were chasing disliked smoke. Smoke was often used to keep bugs away.,

Maybe if they ran too it they could get rid of them. Jaebum also knew there was a high chance that they could get caught in the place. He didn’t know who had lit the fire, if it was other tributes or something set up by the game makers. There were risks to everything he did but he decided it was worth the risk. Jaebum pushed Yoongi and they ran towards he blaze, the smell of smoke got stronger the closer they got. Jaebum felt another stinging pain in his back but the buzzing sound was decreasing...

They moved down the hill and they made it to the a point where the buzzing was distant. Jaebum fell to his knees the sight of the fire... Everything was overwhelming. The pain from the bites and the sight of fire heading towards them. Yoongi was looking back toward the swarm but Jaebum’s eyes were on the fire, the smoke burning his lungs before he’d really even tasted it. It brought back things he had never really forgotten.

“Yoongi we have to keep going,” Jaebum said. He was scared and he didn’t want to get caught in the blaze.

“We’re not in a good position right now,” Yoongi said, he looked tired and he clearly had gotten bitten a few more times. Jaebum’s eyes were on the fire, the grass was dry, they needed to get to water. The blaze would keep spreading fast. He didn’t want to die choking on smoke or burning to death.

“We have to go,” Jaebum stood up stumbling as he faced the fire. He knew how painful it was.

“This way,” Yoongi pointed towards the tree line.

“The trees will burn more,” Jaebum said, the smoke was getting thicker, to get to the trees they had to go closer to the fire.

“There will be water there,” Yoongi said, “in plains trees grow around water sources. That’s our best bet.” Jaebum nodded and they started moving fast towards the tree line past the fire. His mind flashed back... cannons sounded back then telling him his mass murder plan had worked. The fire around him blazed so hot. He thought he had failed himself, that he would suffocate from smoke. He got burned, he’d made it to water but that didn’t protect him from the smoke. 

He kept his eyes on Yoongi leading him through the grass. The fire was bringing back to much in his mind. There was a tremble in his body from the memories. They needed to keep moving. They would have to make it to the water. No matter what he felt he had to keep going. 

“Come on,” Yoongi said, “it’s moving fast!” He coughed from the smoke, running was becoming difficult but there was nothing else he could do. They were almost to the tree line, Jaebum could hardly see through the smoke. Sparks were flying it was all too close for comfort. They would be surrounded if they didn’t make it. The blaze was getting larger.

“Jaebum faster!” Yoongi shouted, he ran after his friend and as he did fire flared up towards him. He felt it, stinging charing burning towards his shoulder. Run, he had to run. They burst through the tree line, the fire was still following. Jaebum cried out from the heat but Yoongi was right there was water ahead. The both dropped into that water. Jaebum felt relief from the cool water. But his arm, it had been burned. He stared at it, breath screeching as he wheezed from the smoke. And at that moment rain began to fall...

“Oh come on!” Yoongi shouted at the rains. “FUCK ALL OF YOU, YOU COULDN'T HAVE DONE THAT SOONER? WHAT THE HELL?! You can’t put everyone in this damn country in your torture game!” Yoongi was clearly livid and Jaebum sighed. Because Yoongi was wrong they could put everyone in the games if they wanted to. Yang controlled everything. Everyone in the country let him control them. They allowed this and they would continue to allow it unless they were given a reason to fight.

The two of them stayed in the water, it was soothing to the bites and burns. Rain began falling fast with thunder and lightning and they knew they would have to find shelter eventually. They got out as the sun began to set and Yoongi used his light to lead them toward the rocky hills, in hopes of finding a cave. The area was strange, Jaebum glanced up at the rock formations and saw one formed a large spire. He wondered about it when he heard thunder building, he almost could smell it in the air. It would be dangerous to be too close if lighting struck.

“What is that?” Yoongi asked as he noticed the same thing. And Jaebum watched and waited.

“I don’t know,” he responded. The air built up and Jaebum was right in his expectations a large mass of many volts of lightning descended down and struck the spire. The light was so bright he almost couldn’t look. It was incredible.

“Woah,” he said as it faded. Yoongi gasped. Was this their way out? This was certainly an interesting feature within the arena. They kept walking and reached a rockier area of the arena, up into some hills, and there they found a small cave, shelter. Night was falling it was probably best to rest. They had sleeping bags in their backpacks which had been waterproof. They were thankful for that much from the game makers.

They laid the top layers of their clothes out to dry within the cave. Jaebum had a hard time getting his jacket sleeve off the burn. He hissed and winced as he did. It was better off, the cool night air made it feel better though he hated the feeling so much. 

“We need to find the others tomorrow,” Jaebum said. He didn’t like thinking that Jinyoung was without him, he didn’t like being without Jinyoung. He knew Yoongi knew that they did need to find their allies but he said it for himself. He was about to get into his sleeping bag when he heard a beeping. He knew that sound. He looked out the cave and saw a parachute coming down. He smiled as he reached to catch it, he knew what it would be. What they needed. He opened it to see the note was from Namjoon. 

For the bites and burns, Jinyoung is safe. - Namjoon

Jaebum smiled at the tidbit of information their friend had included. Hoping that Jinyoung was safe was different than having a message completely making it known. He was glad that wherever Jinyoung was in that arena he had assurance he was all right and likely would remain so until morning. The two of them used the cream, it was relief from the irritation and pain. He was thankful for it. They both took their chance to rest, the afternoon had been difficult for the both of them. They didn’t bother to keep watch, they trusted it would all be okay. They were safe for now.

— — — — — 

The sound of rain, Jinyoung awoke to the sound of rain against something. He looked up to see a shelter above his head, like a tent. He sat up wondering what had happened, where he was then the events of the day came rushing back. He looked around to see his location. There were tent cloths slung through the trees and tied above them with ropes. Sandara and Hyolyn were asleep around one side. There was a small fire with ventilation but now it was going out the girls were in one sleeping bag while Jinyoung realized he was in his own.

Their jackets were all folded neatly. His allies had made an amazing shelter given their resources. He saw his bow was laid within his reach then he realized both Jackson and Seokjin were up near the entrance to their fortress. Both speaking in hushed tones. Jinyoung tried to listen in.

“Losing Heechul is difficult,” Jackson’s voice, “and Jaebum and Yoongi...” Jinyoung’s heart stuttered listening, he heard Jaebum’s name. He wanted Jaebum there.

“We’ll find them,” Seokjin replied, “or they’ll find us.” The others at least believed they were alive.

“You think the careers will attack before morning?” Jackson asked another question.

“Possibly,” Seokjin replied, “I wanted to get farther but there was only so much we could do with Jinyoung out of commission.” Jinyoung felt bad knowing he was the reason they’d had to stop earlier. He’d just been so overwhelmed thinking about what Yang had done. It was all a plot just to rattle him. They could have taken BamBam anytime for what he’d done but they had chosen that moment. He wondered if Taehyung and the others were safe.

“The kids a new victor,” Jackson said, Jinyoung knew they were referring to him. “You cannot expect him to handle any of this well. Imagine going back into the arena a year after your games...” Jinyoung’s heart sank thinking about it. Everyone around him understood what it was like to be in the games, they were all people who knew what his pain was like.

“I know,” Seokjin replied, “I know very well but he is our best chance. You know how long we’ve waited for this…”

“He did well in the battle,” Jackson responded, “did you see him shot Taeyeon’s arrow out of the sky? To do that he had to predict the flight pattern of her arrow. That’s one powerful archer.” 

“He would be a dangerous enemy for sure,” Seokjin said. The statement sounded strange... Almost as if he was being analyzed sized up for the potential of being a future target. Part of him felt like these people were his friends but he didn't feel safe without Jaebum there. It was the Hunger Games they were in and that meant that not all of them could make it out. That meant even his friends would eventually become his enemies. He shivered, the cold was biting and he sank down back into the warmth of the sleeping bag. His hand reached to touch the bow next to him.

He felt lonely, even with four people around him. He wanted Jaebum, he wanted to he held close and cared for. He didn't like being so far away from him. He heard the sound of the rain and hoped that Jaebum was safe. He really hoped the elder was going to make it back to him before the morning.

But he knew every moment was perilous here. Even in seeming safety there would always be another danger. The people around him could very well be waiting for a good opportunity to end him. He couldn't trust them fully, not when he had everything to lose. So his hand closed around the bow and he pulled it close to his body. It was his only protection if things went wrong and he wasn’t going to let go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The games have begun. There are much more dangers ahead. It's hard losing BamBam, really tough part to write. I'm sorry to you who are all reading, this is the Hunger Games and it's hard to lose these characters.
> 
> Chapter 16 will be called "Who You Become."
> 
> I updated the appendices recently with a scene of something that happened between One Spark and A Burning fire that will be referenced in Chapter 18 of this story. Just thought I'd let you all know.
> 
> Please comment and let me know what you think about this chapter, thanks to all who have commented.
> 
> Follow me on twitter @JaneDanells  
> Ask me questions on Curious Cat: https://curiouscat.me/JaneDanells


	16. Who You Become

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The games continue

Taehyung awoke in the dark, he thought he heard noises. He wasn’t sure about what they were. He was frightened, BamBam hadn’t come back and he didn’t want to consider what that meant. BamBam had told him after the Quarter Quell announcement what he was planning to do, that he was planning to defy Yang and that if Taehyung didn’t want to be involved he would send him away to a different district. Taehyung remembered that day well. He’d fought BamBam, fought to stay with him. He knew what the cost could be, and the fact that BamBam hadn’t come back… it made him realize the price had been called to be paid.

Taehyung had waited all day long for him and had fallen asleep on the penthouse couch scared. He was startled awake by a noise that made his heart pound. He knew it was likely they would come for him and the others. He’d fallen asleep with a gun in his hand and raised it towards the sounds. He was shaking.

He saw a figure moving as his eyes were adjusting to the dark.

“Who’s there?” Taehyung asked out loud, he was so scared, “I have a gun, I will shoot.” He belatedly realized it was probably not the best idea to reveal his position as he then felt a hand clasp over his mouth. He grunted and tried to fight back against whoever it was. He was about to fire the gun forward when the figure whispered in his ear.

“Quiet if you want to live,” the man hushed. Taehyung stilled but he was so scared. Tears filled his eyes, he knew he wasn’t ready to die. He didn’t want to die, he wanted to live. Suddenly he was thrown to the ground as gunshots rang out, and he looked to see the person behind him was the one firing the shots. He didn’t know where the man was firing towards but he heard shouts through the rooms beyond. 

“Get up,” the man said, “and go to Jennie’s room, there are more coming. Get the girls and get towards Jinyoung’s old room now.” 

“Who are you?” Taehyung asked him.

“Go now!” the man commanded and Taehyung got up and ran. He understood they were pressed for time and that, whoever it was that had come, he’d come to help so Taehyung would have to trust him. He rushed towards Jennie’s room and opened the door. She was sitting up, she’d probably heard the gunshots.

“Taehyung, what is going on?” She asked.

“They’ve come for us,” Taehyung said, “please we have to get the others and get to Jinyoung’s room. Someone came to help us but we don’t have much time.” He heard more gunshots. He still had to get Hani, Jungyeon, and Yugyeom.

“You get Yugyeom,” Jennie said, “I can get the other two.” Taehyung did as he was told and they  
all gathered together where they’d been told to meet. Taehyung’s grip tightened on his gun when he heard footsteps. He’d heard shouting, but he didn’t know how to respond. He was frozen knowing that they’d come to kill him and the others.

Someone was coming down the hall, Taehyung looked and saw he was the person from before who had told him to run. 

“Hoseok,” Hani called to him. The fact that she recognized him put Taehyung more at ease about trusting him. 

“Stand back away from the windows,” Hoseok said, “our ride’s almost here.” Taehyung and the others did as they were told. Hoseok aimed his gun at the window and fired, glass shattering as it blew out. Taehyung winced. Beyond a hovercraft of some kind flew up to the window.

“Clear,” Hoseok said towards his wrist then he turned towards the others, “a bridge will be lowered for us. We need to move quickly once it does. We need to get out of here before our hovercraft is identified and we’re shot down. Everyone understand.” They all nodded. Taehyung watched as the bridge was lowered.

Hoseok began to push them forward towards the hovercraft and up the steps that would lead them to it. They were so high up that it was frightening to look down. He shook as he quickly entered the hovercraft with the others. Taehyung took a moment to look around as he did. The craft wasn’t fancy but it wasn’t small. There several levels too it and Taehyung was surprised that they were being rescued in something so large.

How did someone working against the Capitol have something like a hovercraft? That was the question he asked himself. He turned to see Hoseok climbing aboard last. Taehyung watched as the man hit a button, retracting the bridge as the door closed.

“Let’s go,” Hoseok called out to someone, “everyone strap in now we’re going out of here at high speeds!” Taehyung did what he was told and sat down hurriedly as the hovercraft quickly accelerated. He looked towards the windows at the lights of the Capitol, wondering if this moment would be the last time he’d ever see it. 

They’d be on the run now, he was just glad they had allies that were strong. He wondered about where everything was leading them.

—————

Jaebum woke up to the sound of talking, voices speaking to each other. When he’d gone to sleep only Yoongi had been there, meaning some of their allies had found them. Jaebum’s first thought was to wonder if Jinyoung was with them. He turned over in his sleeping bag to see Yoongi standing talking with someone and it didn't take long to recognize Taecyeon. Along with Taecyeon, he saw that two others had come as well. Kim Jisoo and Park Joon. It was comforting to see friends.

Jaebum sat up and realized the pain from the bites had gone, and his burn was nothing more than an area of slightly red skin. The healing effects of the medicinal cream were swift, and it made Jaebum wish he had someone to help him with his burns. He knew having their wounds tended to would make a difference as to how the rest of the games would play out. He would have been limited fighting with the burns, just like he was when he was younger.

“Finally up sleeping beauty?” Taecyeon called out to him. Jaebum smiled, Taecyeon had a fun sense of humor considering how deadly he could be. He removed himself from the sleeping bag and immediately began to pack his stuff. If Jinyoung wasn’t with the group that had found them it meant that they would have to search the valley to find him. He worried about what would happen if he didn’t find them soon. Jinyoung had been with their other allies, but Jaebum knew best how volatile he was. 

The group of three shared what they knew about the state of their allies. Heechul had died at the hands of Ji-hyun defending them. It was his sacrifice that had allowed them to get away. Jaebum knew that Joon was important to their plan and that Heechul’s sacrifice wasn’t in vain, but it did hurt. He’d never get a chance to thank the other tribute for siding with them. He realized the chances that many of them would make it out were slim. The quest ahead of them was one with many dangers. If the enemy realized exactly what they were planning they would all be dead. 

The trio only had two backpacks between them. Taecyeon had managed to grab a large hammer while Joon’s backpack held several kinds of wire. Jisoo was the one who had grabbed nothing, she had just run away from the center when it all went down and Joon had kept an eye on her through it. Yoongi and the pair from district 3 sat together to work on mending the watch. They would be able to find Jinyoung more easily with it fixed.

“What did you run into yesterday?” Jaebum asked Taecyeon. He hadn’t said much about how their day had gone since they all sat down.

“There are some pretty nasty mutts to the west,” Taecyeon responded, “we were a good distance off when we heard some stuff, so I scouted forward and saw them. We don’t want to go that way. We managed to avoid any major problems, my goal was to keep these two as far away from any traps as we could. I’d say it all went well.”

“I guess you didn’t run into the others?” Jaebum asked. He knew it was a futile thing to ask. If they had then they would have stayed with them. The team was trying to unite together to protect Jinyoung and carry out the plan. It would make no sense for them to find each other only to immediately go separate ways.

“No,” Taecyeon said, “but they’re all together, that’s something you can take comfort in.”

“Except that Jinyoung will be jumpy on his own,” Jaebum responded, “I need to get to him today, we can’t afford to waste much time.” He knew the others wouldn’t understand, but they didn’t need to. They just needed to trust that he knew what was best for Jinyoung.

“He’s to the south,” Taecyeon, “by my calculations...” Taecyeon drew a bit of a sketch in the ground. “Here is where we are, I think the others are here,” he traced a line in his map. “There’s the waterway and the trees surrounding it down here, and there's a beach down this way. We can see it from up here. They’re likely south closer to the beach.” Jaebum was glad Taecyeon was able to determine that much.

“Then we should go south,” Jaebum said. That would get them to Jinyoung.

“That would be a move we could make, but the careers are between us and them,” Taecyeon said, marking an x near the waterways and forest, “and the careers are heading north, tracking us.” He drew a line towards them. 

“So what you’re saying is we should keep ourselves up here as a distraction,” Jaebum realized. If the careers were following their trail then Jinyoung was safe. They could keep the career pack heading in the wrong direction and then circle down south when the time was right.

“As best we can, yes, we should stay up here,” Taecyeon stated. The operation was to protect the king by any means necessary, and if that meant staying far away from him they would have to do it. Jaebum didn’t like leaving Jinyoung alone for an indefinite amount of time, but he had to remind himself he wasn’t alone. He had to remind himself his own feelings for Jinyoung didn’t matter with what they were facing.

“Are we in a good position to take on the entire career pack?” Jaebum asked next. There was a possibility that their ruse could land them into some trouble.

“Well considering how many knifes Yoongi picked up, why are you even asking this question?” Taecyeon pointed out. Jaebum smiled, Taecyeon was right. They were in a good position to not only distract the careers but to engage them in battle and take them out. They had the only victor to score 12 in the game with them. If the careers did find them, they’d likely run if they wanted to live. Yoongi wasn’t one anyone wanted to be facing.

Jaebum realized another thing to be wary of; if the careers did find them and realized Jinyoung wasn’t with them… it could drive them to immediately head south in search of him. Jinyoung, unfortunately, was a target. It was something Jaebum wished hadn’t happened but there was no changing it. No matter how little he was at fault, the careers blamed the Quarter Quell’s rules on Jinyoung and they wouldn’t see reason. Jaebum could only hope that, if the careers did realize that Jinyoung wasn’t with them, their other allies would be able to protect him.

Jaebum hated not knowing where they were or which direction they were going. Taecyeon could make predictions, but there was no solid way to know if they had even gone far from the center. They couldn’t make contact with the watch out of commision so they would have to go in search of each other at some point. They could invest in their feint but there were risks either way.

“This arena is like Namjoon’s year,” Taecyeon said, “we’re likely going to face more dangers from within than from the careers. That’s the way they’ll drag out the game with so many trained killers here.” Jaebum stiffened, Namjoon’s year was the same year his sister had been in the arena. Namjoon had protected her as best he could, but she had died of poisoning from plants within the arena. No one would send help when she started getting bad.

Jaebum knew he couldn’t think about that day without getting emotional. It was best to push it aside, to focus on analyzing what was in front of them. He couldn’t change the past but he could make the future better. 

“Yoongi and I went from being chased by venomous mosquitoes as big as our fists to facing down fire,” Jaebum said, “so it's safe to say we are already acquainted with the dangers that lay here.”

“Sorry, that fire was lit by us,” Taecyeon said, “we wanted to ward off the bugs.”

“Did you see us?” Jaebum asked. 

“No, just the swarms in the distance,” Taecyeon said, “and heard the same sounds we had before in a previous games. Those bugs showed up Yoongi’s year.” That explained why the other got so nervous at the sound, he had faced them before.

“Would they go far out?” Jaebum asked him. He worried those bugs would continue to be a problem as they searched the arena. He did not want to encounter them again, he was sure a swarm would be deadly.

"Yes," Taecyeon responded, "the entire northern plains are a danger to their reach and we definitely should not go there.”

"Well that's shit," Jaebum stated, "then let's go south, fight our way through the careers and get to Jinyoung to make sure their group doesn’t head in that direction.”

"And lead them straight to him?" Taecyeon asked. Jaebum knew he was trying to be practical but the arena was designed to kill them. He couldn’t protect Jinyoung from where they were, he needed to find him.

"We'd win head to head,” Jaebum responded, “you know we would.”

"Would we?" Taecyeon asked, "would everyone with us really be able to do what was necessary? Those people are our friends too, we've all known each other a long time." Jaebum didn't care about that anymore, Jinyoung was who he cared about. Anyone who didn’t fight alongside them was trying to kill him. Jaebum had no kind feelings towards those people.

"We could do it," Jaebum said, “and you know that we have to. That’s the way the game works.”

"Jay, Taeyeon, Bom, Lee Joon," Taecyeon said the names of the four careers, "they can work as a unit. They will be a huge threat. Then you add Zico and Ji-hyun to the mix and the threat gets bigger, both have ranged weapons and no hesitation in how they’ll use them. The careers also have Sunmi and Joo-yeon and Jae-yoon. There are nine of them.” That was what Jaebum had feared, he wanted to prevent the rest of the field from allying against them, but he’d failed. They were all on two sides against each other.

“There are 10 of us," Taecyeon said as he tried to reason his way through what Jaebum had said, "but two are not fighters. Joon and Jisoo shouldn't be anywhere near the biggest battles, we’d lose them. Jisoo especially wouldn’t handle it well. So that puts us down to 8. Then factor in the fact Sandara has issues with her joints and eyesight, and I'm not as young as I once was. That isn’t a fight we want to be drawn into.”

"We have a higher point total if you factor our evaluations,” Jaebum mentioned the rankings.

“That is because there are more of us," Taecyeon stated, "but we may not last today. We don't know what it holds. We can't run into something recklessly and we can't stay here much longer." Jaebum knew that Taecyeon was right and he was reasoning through things the right way. Their plan depended on getting all the key players in the right place at the right time. The plan was never to get drawn into a large scale battle against the other tributes. 

"He can't be alone,” Jaebum voiced what had been weighing on him the most even after all they’d said. He knew how badly things could go with Jinyoung, how much pain he carried from what happened before. He would be scared of the others, scared of betrayal like he’d experienced in the past. Jinyoung needed Jaebum to keep him leveled and calm. He couldn’t be alone out there.

"He's not alone Jaebum," Taecyeon said. Jaebum knew that Taecyeon couldn’t understand, none of them could.

"Without me, he might as well be," Jaebum replied. He looked towards where Jisoo was now sitting, away from the group and watching birds. He wondered if Jinyoung saw anything out there like them. He wondered if they reminded him of the birds within his first arena.

—————

Jinyoung didn't sleep well through the night and Seokjin woken him up early with a bowl of food and a medicinal drink that he wanted him to drink. Jinyoung had taken it all reluctantly, he was wary of trusting the people around him but Seokjin had always been kind to him. He reminded him of Jungkook, and that gave him the ability to trust Jin. He refused to speak to anyone but he did as he was told and helped back up. Their camp had been well defended and there had been no incidents in the night. Jin reported that no cannons had gone off, wherever Jaebum was that was a comfort.

They packed up all the stuff they had into the numerous backpacks everyone had grabbed at the start of the games. They gave Jinyoung one to carry and explained that they would be traveling towards the coast to fish for some good meat. Before they could leave the camp Seokjin had to neutralize a poison he had laid around their perimeter to help protect them. Anyone who touched the substance he had put down would feel a burning sensation on their skin, even through their clothes or shoes. Jinyoung wondered when Jin had found time to create something like that. 

He had to use water and some other herbal mixtures to render it safe to go through that area of the forest. Jaebum had talked of Jin’s skill with plants, but Jinyoung didn’t realize how much someone could do with them. Jin wasn’t just skilled – he was resourceful and clearly thought through problems that they were facing, then found solutions with the skills he had. It was something Jinyoung found fascinating to think about.

The group left the forest. He was told that they had filled all their containers with water from the river. As they walked on, Jinyoung noticed that Sandara was moving slower and Hyolyn was helping her along. The others seemed concerned about her and he wondered if she had gotten hurt during the initial battle at the center. They continued on as Jinyoung kept looking back towards where they’d come. 

"There," Jackson pointed down as they reached a higher crest on the plains and Jinyoung looked down to see a beach below. “We can make camp in the caves down there and start fishing. If we collect enough we should have a nice meal tonight.” 

Jinyoung looked back towards the tree line and the hills that led higher into rocky cliffs and mountains. He wondered where Jaebum was amongst what he saw. There was no sign of him on the beach which made Jinyoung reluctant to continue onwards. He knew it was dangerous to set out on his own and Jaebum would scold him for even thinking about it. 

"It's a solid plan," Seokjin stated, "we still have no contact from the others so we keep going."

Jinyoung looked down at Jungkook's watch. There had been no contact from anyone through the device. He found he kept looking at it, expecting something and feeling down when nothing happened. The weather was windy and the sky above them was rolling like clouds after rain. It could easily start to build into a storm again. The arena they were in was beautiful, and that thought was one he hated.

Jinyoung looked around and everything about it felt so real. There were rolling hills of grasses which grew in various sizes, the tree line surrounded a waterway that met the ocean. Beyond the trees were mountains that seemed to stretch on for miles in various rock formations. It was breathtaking for an arena. He could see peculiar rocky spires in the mountains, and he wondered what went through the game makers minds as they worked to create arenas. He wondered if they intended to make something beautiful or if it was just a side effect of creating something so real. 

He then looked up as they walked down the hills and his eyes trained on something that caught his focus, something off in the light reflections. His mind became fixated on the fact that the arena was created, an artificial thing. Nothing about their surroundings was real, not even the sky.

"What are you looking at?" Hyolyn asked him as he stared up at the sky. He knew what it was he was seeing, they were in a dome. He hadn’t thought about it in their first games, that the sky could be fake. The games had taken place in the spring and yet it snowed in his arena.

"See that," Jinyoung spoke as he reached to point out what it was he saw. The way the light seemed to fold on itself was unmistakable. There was a dome above their head. He quickly realized that it was the first time he’d spoken to his comrades, and that Hyolyn was probably excited about that. 

"What?" she asked. She was looking in the right direction but he didn’t know if she saw exactly what he was trying to point out.

"That light there," he said pointing again more insistently. The dome was a forcefield which could mean a few things about how the arena was constructed.

“What is it?” She asked. He was sure she was able to see the difference then.

“We’re in a forcefield dome,” Jinyoung said to her. He wondered how he hadn’t noticed in the first games. He guessed that Jungkook had known even if he didn’t say anything. There were probably many tributes who could tell what it was. She smiled as she looked at it..

“Well will you look at that,” she stated as they walked on to meet up with the others. Jinyoung hadn’t realized he was holding them up, but they had taken an opportunity to sit down on some large rocks. There was a strong wind blowing from the direction of the sea. Jinyoung looked down at his watch for the hundredth time that day, and saw that there was still no sign of a call. He wondered why Yoongi hadn’t called him. He sat down to join the group and Seokjin informed him that there was food in his backpack. He took the portion out and began to eat, thankful that his friends had divided the food up the way he had.

After a moment, Jinyoung noticed Sandara was humming a song, the tune sounded sweet and almost sad. He didn’t know anything about her but he was curious. She was the one he couldn’t imagine ever being in the arena before, much less winning. He wondered if she’d changed, or what happened in her games. Every single tribute had a story like his, being reaped and being forced through an arena before.

"What are you humming?" Jinyoung asked. Getting to know them could be dangerous, he understood that. He would likely start to care and he would lose them. That was what had happened before but he couldn’t help his curiosity. 

"It's called Little Wildflower," Sandara said and he could see that she looked sad, "it was written by a girl in our district. She was a beautiful child and as she grew she was someone who brought the people in our town much joy. She passed away last winter from sickness."

"The people in the district gathered to sing the sing," Hyolyn said, "because she wrote it and it meant everything to us." Jinyoung felt saddened, but he knew why these people would be more upset. The Capitol likely had the medicines that could have saved her yet wouldn't do it. It was what happened to his mother, a pointless death that could have been prevented. He hated thinking about his mother, it was a painful memory.

"What was her name?" he asked. This girl meant a lot to them, it would reveal a bit more about them.

“Her name was Suzy," Sandara said. She sounded like an amazing girl. Jinyoung wished things were different, that the Capitol helped the districts. It was something that just didn’t happen. Something they couldn’t change.

"Will you sing it for me?" Jinyoung asked, he wanted to hear it. Sandara nodded and began to sing, her voice was beautiful.

"I’m looking at you  
Don’t say anything  
Yes, I know this is the end"

Sandara trailed off and Hyolyn took her place singing the next lines.

"I know  
All the times we spent together  
Are crashing down  
I can’t even breathe at the weight of that  
I know, but"

They paused and sang together the words that came next. Jinyoung listened with more than his ears, he felt the song deeper. He knew how much this meant to them, how much it would mean to the people in their district. They would hear the tributes sing something so haunting and beautiful and something they understood. 

"I will remember you  
Maybe I’ll live as if I forgot  
But I wanna remain  
Remember me like the wildflowers you see

I will remember your tears  
Days we used to be in love are setting  
Like the summer breeze blowing from far away  
Forget me, let go of my hand"

The chorus began to repeat itself and Jinyoung listened and joined in, he could hear that Jackson and Jin did as well. He smiled as they stopped singing together, he wished he had met the people in front of him under different circumstances. He had wished that none of them had to meet in the arena because he knew that it was unlikely all of them would be alive with him for long. He saw sadness on their faces. He was scared to care for them, scared to lose.

"Your voice is good Jinyoung-ah," Sandara said to him with a kind smile on her face, "did you ever sing songs at home?" He had in a different time, before he lost his family. They’d been poor, they’d never had much but when his mother was alive they were happy.

"When I was a child my mother used to sing with me," he commented, "she would sing all the time. I would follow her around and try to sing along.” He felt that ache in his heart. After she had died he had stopped singing, he hadn't wanted to because he missed her so much. With all that happened he only had time to learn to survive. Youngjae had needed him to fight for them because no one else would. That was what he remembered most. He didn’t even remember what she looked like without the single picture they had to remind them of her.

"What songs did she teach you?" Sandar asked, pushing him on this subject. He breathed deep as he thought through it.

"Just some stuff she learned when she was a kid," he said, "nothing exciting."

"Let's hear one," Hyolyn asked, he knew they meant well and they had shared their song with him. He guessed there was no harm in trying to remember the things she’d taught him. He thought back to those times and he started singing.

"Just close your eyes  
The sun is going down  
You'll be alright  
No one can hurt you now  
Come morning light  
You and I'll be safe and sound..."

It was a lullaby she used to sing to him when he had trouble sleeping. It was the thing he remembered most about her, how many times she would hold him close and sing him to sleep. She never failed to tell him every day that she loved him. 

"Don't you dare look at your window  
Darling everything’s on fire  
The war outside our door keeps raging on  
Hold on to this lullaby  
Even when the music's gone"

He never understood as a child how much she had meant for him to hear those words, to really understand. Because the music had gone when she did. All he had to hold on to from her was memories. Those were things he didn’t hold on to tightly enough, things he couldn’t get back. He trailed off as he thought of her. He thought of the cold nights when he would press close to her to stay warm in the dark.

"I know this song," Jackson Wang spoke from where he sat, he was looking out towards the water. "My parents used to sing this song when I was young.” Jinyoung wondered at hearing that the song was one that people knew in another district. He’d always thought it was something his mother made up. 

"The first verse," Jackson said, "you skipped it.” Jackson then started singing in the same tune that Jinyoung recognized. 

“I remember tears streaming down your face  
When I said I'd never let you go  
When all those shadows almost killed your light  
I remember you said  
Don't leave me here alone  
But all that's dead and gone and passed, tonight."

"My mother never sang that verse," Jinyoung said tears in his eyes as Jackson met his. He saw tears in the other's own eyes and wondered if something had happened to his parents like what had happened to his own mother. He wondered at his mother never singing that verse. Jackson began to sing the chorus again, as if remembering and Jinyoung joined him. Soon Seokjin joined as well, the girls just listened.

"You know it?" Jinyoung asked Seokjin. He wondered if it was a common song in the districts. It’s melody was so sad and haunting. He wondered if it was an old song and if it’s origin had anything to do with the Hunger Games. He wondered if the districts hearing them sing the song would derive hope from it.

"It's something Namjoon's cousin, Jimin, used to sing when he was younger," Seokjin said. They fell silent each seemingly thinking about the impact music had on their lives thus so far. Jinyoung wished he had sang to Youngjae as they grew because Youngjae missed out on that part of their childhood. His younger brother didn't remember their mother at all. He didn't remember the things that she did to show her love to them.

They all walked on as the sun got higher in the sky. They could see the clouds as they rolled through the sky from over the water when they made it to the beach. Jinyoung assumed it was mid afternoon from the location of the sun in the sky. Hyolyn seemed excited to be at the beach while Jackson got down to work with some netting he had. Jinyoung looked back up the cliffs towards the plains and couldn’t help but wonder about Jaebum.

Seokjin helped Jackson work to begin fishing while Jinyoung went with Sandara and Hyolyn to work on setting up the camp. They had several tents and sleeping bags. Everyone had grabbed as many backpacks as they could from the center in hopes of making their lives easier. Jinyoung felt bad that he didn't grab any bags himself. He’d been so focused on getting the bow and fighting he hadn’t thought about anything else. What he had witnessed as he was lifted into the arena still weighed on him, but there was no one he felt he could talk to about it.

"So tell me something,” Hyolyn sat down by him as he worked on one of the tents, "how was Jaebum when you first met him? He was a terrible ass the year before every time anyone tried to get him to do anything. How did you convince him to help you?" He wasn't confused by that question, he remembered very well how angry he’d been at Jaebum in the beginning. 

"He was an ass," Jinyoung replied, "I made sure to remind him of that daily.” He’d been unsure how to respond to how Jaebum was behaving so he’d responded in anger.

"I can imagine that went over well," she said with a laugh. Jinyoung wondered how well she knew Jaebum, he didn’t seem to have a lot of friends when Jinyoung met him. Meeting the other victors, Jinyoung got the sense that Jaebum had generally friendly relationships with them but that they didn’t go very deep. 

"He was apparently shocked someone actually talked to him like I did,” Jinyoung stated, he remembered when Sana told him Jaebum's reaction after he stormed out the first day. In hindsight, Jinyoung realized that Jaebum liked him from the beginning and that he’d been fighting for him from those first moments. It made him feel bad about how he’d carried on his own behavior so long.

"Of course no one had ever stood up to him,” she responded, "tributes were always scared of him, even when he was young. People remembered how he won, it wasn't exactly considered a heroic way to do things. He needed a lot of help to get through it but he’s always been stronger than most.” Jinyoung agreed. Jaebum was strong enough to endure all he had. He had come out of all his trails with a strength that Jinyoung wished he had.

"He did what he had to in the games,” Jinyoung said. After he’d heard the story it had shed so much light on who Jaebum was. 

"You know he worked really hard when you were in the arena,” Hyolyn said thoughtfully, "he had never fought like that for anyone with the sponsors. You got more sleep those four days than he did, he fought tooth and nail for every single thing he sent to you." Hearing that wasn't surprising. He knew that Jaebum felt responsible for him afterwards. Jinyoung hadn’t been aware that he’d sacrificed sleep for him or that things were as difficult as they had been. He sent three parachutes into the games and he had to fight for all of them.

"Were you with him during the finale?" Jinyoung asked. He had always been curious what Jaebum was thinking then. He’d told Jinyoung that he did well but there was no way that Jinyoung could actually know how he felt in that moment. Maybe another person's perspective would tell him something.

"I wasn't there,” she said, "I stopped watching after the tributes from my district were killed. Jaebum asked me to accompany him to visit the sponsors several times and I did but I didn't want to see anything else. I hate watching the games unless I have too.” He understood what she was saying. He was amazed she was so candid about it when they were in an arena talking about it with cameras recording their every word. 

"I was worried all year about being a mentor," Jinyoung replied. He felt emboldened by how open she was with her experiences.

"It's the most difficult thing about winning," she responded, "facing the fact that only one of the two kids you send in can come out but the likelihood that either come out is not high at all. A lot of mentors shut down after a few years, and really struggle to keep going."

"What's worse," Jinyoung asked, "being a mentor or entering a second games after you thought that nightmare was over?" 

"The second games," she responded without hesitation. She looked around and he could tell she remembered her first. Every single one of them did. They all experienced the nightmares, he knew they all were as broken as he was. All of them had their own battles to face. It should have been a comfort to him but instead he was afraid of what they would do to survive. He wished they didn't have to face each other in the arena. He was glad that at least the only pair among them from the same district were Sandara and Hyolyn, and they were unlikely to turn on them all.

Jinyoung was broken out of his thoughts by Jackson yelling loudly over the waves in excitement about something. He looked over to see him and Seokjin dragging a catch to shore. It made Jinyoung smile, how the group he was with was having too much fun for being in the games. They were doing a good job of working together to survive, and he wondered when things would turn bad for them. He knew eventually things would go wrong, it was how the games worked. 

Soon enough they were all around a fire in their cave cleaning fish together. Jackson showed them all how to properly cut the fish to get the bones out and get the best meat. They all used small knives to get the job done and helped each other figure out how to best accomplish the task. Jinyoung had some issues at first, but Jackson sat with him and went over it again to communicate how it was done. Jackson was attentive and Jinyoung enjoyed working with him. However, he was still a bit wary of the other tribute’s motive for getting close with him in the first place.

There were enough bowls for everyone to eat their fill, and Seokjin had collected some plants he claimed were nutritious to add to their meal. Jinyoung put aside all thoughts regarding the possibility of them being poison as he watched Jin eating them happily. The meal they had put together was elaborate considering what they did and didn’t have available to them.

The sun was getting lower and Jinyoung began to wonder more and more where Jaebum was and if he would find them. Was he safe out there? They hadn't heard any cannons go off all day and he worried what he would think if one did. He was nervous, the energy in his whole body feeling off. He tapped his fist against his thigh and thought through what he was facing. The people he was with were good but was he safe without Jaebum? Was Jaebum safe without him?

He wanted to venture off on his own in search of the elder since no one seemed to even want to search for the others. He knew he couldn't and he knew he wasn’t the only one who was worried. Seokjin met his gaze and watched him because he was also waiting for the call. Jinyoung looked down at the watch and wondered how much longer he would have to wait.

—————

The sun was getting low. Jaebum watched it as they walked through the mountains. They were heading east after being told that there were mutts to the west. None of them could be sure that east was safer, but it was best to get their bearings on what was around this area and what to avoid by exploring. They walked through a lot of rocky lands, the terrain got rough and difficult to traverse. He realized that they were running low on water and would need to double back to the waterway they knew existed before they were stuck without water entirely. Jaebum had lobbied to head in the direction of the waterway, but the others had wanted to explore a bit more. He was worried, but he didn’t think it would be good for any of them to split up.

"Yoongi," Jaebum said, "we need to start heading back." He noticed Jisoo's steps faltering, she looked tired. He knew she wasn’t one of those who would ever complain, but he would have to look out for her. They needed water and a plan to rest and prepare for potential attacks from their enemies. They hadn’t seen anyone all day, but they also hadn’t heard any cannons. That meant that their friends hadn’t found danger.

"Okay," Yoongi said as he turned to look at Jisoo as Jaebum had reached to help her. She nodded to them both but then she quickly turned and shouted at someone to wait. Jaebum looked up just as it happened.

There was a sound of a crashing and a cracking as a bright light flashed around them. Jisoo screamed. He realized what had just happened as Taecyeon flew back from the shock and impact. The arena boundary rippled from being touched and Jaebum saw the ripple echoing up into the sky, the cracking sound continued loudly.

"Taecyeon!" Jisoo exclaimed and rushed to where his body had landed, Joon and Yoongi were there fast as well. Jaebum was stunned by what had happened right in front of them all. They had gone too far out and hadn’t even realized it. Had they simply been careless? Joon and Jisoo should have both noticed the boundary much sooner, but Jisoo had been so out of it. 

"He's not breathing," Jisoo cried, tears were running down her face. Jaebum looked back towards them and saw Yoongi attempting to revive him. Jaebum reached and picked up a rock and threw it at the boundary, watching as it rippled up again into the sky. He saw what he wanted to see. It was a dome around them. They were thoroughly fenced in from all sides. He knew it was dangerous, and that their enemies would know their position from the impact, but he knew exactly what their plan would be moving forward. They would have to break the boundary.

He turned back with sadness to see Yoongi shaking his head to Joon, and he knew what came next. A cannon went off. Tears filled his own eyes. He knew the moment Taecyeon had struck the ground that there would be no bringing him back. It was frustrating and he wanted to shout at the Capitol like Yoongi had the day before. They had lost one so easily, they lost a friend within seconds by one wrong step. Jisoo was sobbing harder and Jaebum knelt down to embrace her. He knew she needed comfort. 

"Shit," Yoongi said as he kicked at a rock on the ground, he dealt with loss in anger and Jaebum knew that. He wanted too as well, but he held it together. He held the young girl as she cried her way through it. Joon looked stunned. They all knew how easily things could go wrong, but it was different seeing it happen right in front of them. 

"I should have noticed it," Joon stated. 

"I'm sorry," Jaebum said, he knew the elder would continue to blame himself and that he couldn’t change that. Jisoo continued to cry but Jaebum knew that they couldn't stay here. The ripples had already given away their position. They had to move before they were found unprepared for a fight. 

"Yoongi," Jaebum looked up at his friend, "we gotta go now."

—————

Jinyoung jumped up at the sound of cannon fire. He looked up to see a rippling through the boundary, right before it was followed by a second smaller ripple. Someone had hit the boundary. The movement billowed up the dome, a clear show of what was around them.

"JAEBUM," he shouted and ran forward, almost as if he would run the entirety of the arena to see what was wrong and if Jaebum was there. He needed to know that Jaebum was okay and that it wasn’t him who had just died. Someone grabbed him from behind and stopped him. He fought but he couldn’t break their hold.

"Jinyoung," Seokjin was the one that pulled him back, Jinyoung fought against him.

"No," Jinyoung said, "if Jaebum's there, I have to get to him. I have to go." He pushed harder, but another pair of arms held him back as well and he knew instantly it was Jackson. They wouldn’t let him go to Jaebum and he was so scared of what was happening. He was scared that the ones restraining him would end up being his enemies and that they wanted him kept away.

"You can't go out there," Seokjin said loudly, leaving no room for argument.

But it was Jaebum... His whole body felt on fire with fear. He’d known he would be afraid the moment he heard a cannon go off but he didn’t know how terrible the feeling would be.

"But Jaebum," he cried as he stopped fighting. He looked at the sky seeking answers, why hadn't his allies even tried to look for the others? Why were they okay with being separated from their friends? 

"It wasn't him," Jackson supplied quickly, "It could be our enemies who hit it!”

"You don't know that," Jinyoung said.

"We'll know soon enough!" Seokjin said as he came around to hug Jinyoung close to him. "I'm worried too, Jinyoung, worried sick about them. But we don't know that it was them. We have to bide our time to be careful. Our job is to survive.”

"I don't want to stay here," Jinyoung begged, "I want him back." They all wanted to stay there all night but staying there wouldn’t get them back to Jaebum.

"I know," Seokjin said and he held him close, "He's okay out there, I promise. Yoongi's watching out for him and they're going to be okay." Jinyoung cried more, he was shaking. He was so afraid of the outcome that Jaebum would die without him there and that he wouldn’t know till the end.

"Please," Jinyoung begged him, he didn't want it to happen to any of them. 

"Jinyoung, I can't let you run out there," Seokjin said, "my job is to keep you safe and you're safe here." Jinyoung shook his head, he didn't feel safe anywhere without Jaebum. He didn’t know how to trust anyone else. They would all have ulterior motives like Minho. In the end they would all turn on him, that was what he feared the most. That he would be alone and without Jaebum. That their allies would turn on them and that they would both die because of it. They had to be together in order to get out together. 

"Why haven't we looked for them?" Jinyoung asked, more tears streaming down his face. The sun was almost set over the water, a whole day had passed and they hadn’t even tried to search the arena for their friends. 

"Because we're waiting for them to call," Seokjin responded, "we'll keep waiting because that is what we are supposed to do.”

"But they can't," Jinyoung said, “they can’t call or they would have. He would have." That was what he believed.

"Our job is to stay alive and wait," Seokjin replied, "maybe they can't. Maybe they won't for another three days but we can't risk being separated from our group right now.”

Jinyoung just shook his head. "We don't have to be," he said, "we can all look for them together." He begged still, he wanted to go.

"Jinyoung," Seokjin wiped his tears from his eyes, "if you please listen to me and don't do anything reckless, I promise you we'll look for them tomorrow. I promise Jinyoung, and I fully intend to keep that promise. You just have to rest for one more night.” He nodded his head in acknowledgement. It was his best option, but he knew he wouldn't rest well again. He wouldn’t sleep well without Jaebum there. 

Jinyoung nodded again. He waited for the elder to release him but Seokjin didn't, and Jinyoung realized he was shaking too. He was also afraid of what the morning could bring. Jinyoung's eyes turned to the setting sun over the water. A beautiful sight he couldn't even enjoy. His heart was filled with dread and a thought that they didn't have much of a chance. In the end, all their fight and hopes could lead to nothing.

What then?

How would he go on if he didn't see Jaebum again?

—————

Night fell quickly as Jaebum's group made its way into the trees. Jisoo had gone quiet a long time before as they had slipped down towards the waterway quietly. What happened with Taecyeon had shaken them all up and Joon had taken to throwing dirt as they walked to check for the edge of the boundary. He clearly was blaming himself and had stopped trusting his eyes. They decided to rest once they made it to the water. Jaebum declared he would take first watch. Yoongi and Joon went to sleep immediately, while Jisoo stayed up with her eyes trained on the stars.

"Jisoo," Jaebum said her name, "you should get some sleep." He was the one keeping watch, they would be safe to sleep as long as he did so.

“I can't sleep," she responded.

"You should try," he said. She shook her head.

"I'll find no rest here," she said softly. There was a lot he didn’t know about her, but he wondered if there was a specific reason she didn’t want to sleep. Something that went beyond what had happened to Taecyeon.

"Why?" he asked. She looked towards the mountains, there was a haunted look in her eyes. She was always a bit different, a bit more messed up than the rest of them.

“I won’t rest because I know this place," she responded, "and I wish I didn't." 

"What do you mean?" he asked, he had wondered about her silence. He wondered about what it was she was most afraid of.

"Those mountains," she said as she looked towards them, "they are the exact same as the mountains that were in the arena five years ago." He looked to them. Jisoo had won during Jaebum’s second year as a mentor, he had remembered trying his best for his tributes that year. Now that she mentioned it, he realized that he should have noticed them. He knew why she had noticed, she had lived that nightmare while he had watched from the outside.

"Is the whole arena layout the same as that one?” he asked her. He wondered if her memories could be a key to figuring the whole arena out.

"No," she responded, "just those mountains. I remember sleeping among the rocks, shivering through cold nights alone. It was a nightmare, but it ended... I never wanted it back but there it is.”

"I know," he responded, "Honestly, I saw my nightmares in the fire. It took me back to the arena I was in as a child. I have never wanted to remember that feeling, but it all came rushing back at once. This arena, this fight we are in isn’t meant to be easy." 

"I worry about what else we'll see,” she responded. She was justified in her worries, they had just lost Taecyeon to the forcefield fencing them in. The arena would hold greater dangers and it seemed those dangers were familiar to each tribute in some way. What could they do against them if they couldn't see them coming?

"Well it seems to me there is a pattern," Jaebum said, "familiar things here, meant to bring back the nightmares we all faced.”

"There very well could be," Jisoo responded, "but none of us can track every one else's experiences, we only know our own."

"The elder mentors could," Jaebum said, "like Sandara." They would remember each games, and each time they fought for their tributes.

"If we ever find her," Jisoo said. She was very insightful but Jaebum could see how down she was. Maybe that's why people thought she was crazy, because something about her seemed like she couldn't shake the demons of the past. Like she submitted to them instead of fighting. Or maybe it was the only way she could cope, by shutting it up and keeping things quiet in her own mind.

In any case, he felt like he had learned something about this girl with them. Still, he wondered if she had plans to sacrifice herself or if she would fight for her own life when it came down to it. He would continue to protect everyone in his group, she was included in that, but he wondered how far they would go to protect him. There would always be some part of him that would distrust the others even though he knew they all had a plan. It was a dangerous one, and in the end it was very likely they would still end up fighting each other. He hoped it wasn’t the case but watching the fake stars projected in the dome above he wondered how foolish he was to hope that things could be different.

They were surrounded, that meant their hope for escape was a fool's hope. But he would take a fool's hope over no hope. He had to hold to that hope, because that was all they had. He would get Jinyoung out and die trying if he had to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the long wait on this chapter. I was finishing up vacation with my dad and updating my Social Media au on twitter.
> 
> By the way I do have a twitter @JaneDanells.
> 
> Let me know what you think of this chapter as the arena continues. The next chapter is called "We All Make Choices."


	17. We All Make Choices

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The arena continues to show it's terrors and the game makers use them to drive the tributes together.

Jinyoung woke up in the middle of the night feeling restless. It was still dark and there was a chill in the atmosphere. He looked around searching his surroundings, an automatic action for someone in the arena. Each one of the victors knew to mind their surroundings at all times, that danger could be lurking everywhere. He took note that Seokjin was asleep in a sleeping bag next to him, while Hyolyn and Sandara were together across the camp and Jackson was awake.

Jinyoung stretched his limbs, sleeping on rock was uncomfortable and sleeping without Jaebum was terrifying. He worried each time he closed his eyes that he would wake up to nightmares. If that happened, people would see how messed up he was. He didn’t like those thoughts.

He moved out of his sleeping bag slowly, careful not to wake Seokjin. Once he’d succeeded he walked over to join Jackson where he sat. The older tribute’s eyes were trained on the stars in the sky, but he turned towards Jinyoung as he approached. Jackson grinned at him.

“Anything out there?” Jinyoung asked. He still didn’t trust Jackson, but they were stuck together for the immediate future.

“Nothing so far,” Jackson said. Jinyoung looked out as his eyes adjusted to dark. The moon was bright overhead, though clouds were rolling in and out around it. There were stars he could glimpse between the clouds. Jinyoung looked out towards the water, where there was a fog over in the distance. Jinyoung didn’t grow up around beaches. There were creeks and rivers in District Twelve, but nothing like where they were in the arena. He wondered if Jackson had grown up around the water.

“That cannon wasn’t Jaebum,” Jackson said softly.

“Who was it?” Jinyoung knew Jackson had only said something because he knew who it was. Those who died during the day would have their faces projected in the sky each night, Jinyoung had never watched but he had heard about it. He hadn’t wanted to see it during his first games, he hadn’t wanted to think of all the kids he’d seen in training as dead. 

“It was Taecyeon,” Jackson said. His eyes looked sad. Jinyoung understood that Jackson probably knew the elder tribute well. They’d all been friends. That was something that JInyoung hadn’t gotten time to be a part of. 

“I’m sorry,” Jinyoung said softly, surprised by how quiet his own voice sounded.

“I understand, Jinyoung,” Jackson spoke quickly, leaving Jinyoung confused for a moment, “everything you’ve gone through this year. I understand what it was like for you.” Jinyoung was stunned that Jackson changed the subject so quickly. “I understand Jaebum was there for you and that you both care deeply about one another, but you can’t be so dependent on another person. Our lives are unpredictable—”

“I didn’t ask to be,” Jinyoung cut him off. He wanted to explain how he felt before Jackson continued his explanation. “It isn’t just that I depend on him because he helped me. It’s not just that he’s important to me because he’s seen me at my worst... I love him, I really love him.” 

Jinyoung admitted something in that moment he hadn’t even fully admitted to himself. It seemed so obvious once he said it out loud. It was something that had been there all along, that love he had for Jaebum. He didn’t know when he’d fallen in love, the emotion had just been there for so long.

“I know Jinyoung,” Jackson responded, “everyone who sees the two of you sees that you both love each other.” Jinyoung didn’t doubt it. As he thought over how much it had grown between them, he knew it was every reason for the way they leaned on each other and responded to one another. They needed each other.

“We always have to be ready to let go,” Jackson continued talking, “we have to be ready to let go of everything, even those we love most.” There was such a sadness in those words and Jinyoung couldn’t stop a question from slipping out.

“Who did you lose?” He asked. Jackson took a deep breath and looked to the stars. There was an expression on his face that wasn’t one of sorrow but one of longing.

“It’s not who I lost,” Jackson said, “It’s who I couldn’t have.” There was so much sadness to the way he spoke those words. Jinyoung’s brow furrowed.

“Who?” He asked as he made the connection. There was someone in this games that he loved, the person he loved wasn’t someone waiting at home for him. It was likely someone they faced as an enemy, someone he wished he had beside him. When he looked at the dark sky it was like they were looking at the same stars.

“I can’t tell you,” Jackson said softly, “everything we say can be used against us. Everything we love is leverage meant to destroy us.” Jinyoung found himself wondering more who it could be. He understood more how Jackson felt about things. “The point is, I am ready to let go. Things here are going to be lost and if you walk in these games clinging to them too much you will lose and you will die.”

“That’s what I’d want,” Jinyoung said back, “If I lost him… I don’t want to live in a world without him in it.” He loved Jaebum so much, he couldn’t imagine walking out of the arena having lost him. 

“That’s weakness,” Jackson chided, his voice sounded frustrated. “You do that and you dishonor his memory, you stain his existence with your blood. If he made the choice to die for you and you let yourself die, you’d dishonor everything he was.” Jinyoung understood what Jackson was trying to say and why he said it. They valued Jinyoung as the symbol of their revolution and wanted him strong, even if Jaebum wasn’t there. 

But Jinyoung didn’t know how to be strong on his own. He had tried it once and fallen apart, that day in the forest, with the spring air around him. Jinyoung looked away from Jackson and out towards the water. Fog was rolling closer to shore. His heart skipped a beat, his mind flashed back to his games. All the other thoughts in his mind dropped from his head. There could easily be something wrong with the fog in front of them. 

“Jackson,” Jinyoung said and he nodded towards the water, “that doesn’t look good.” It reminded him of running with Jungkook on his back. The fog, then the mutts. They’d had to climb up to escape both threats. They had to climb higher than the fog would go.

“Fog rolls in off the water, it’s normal,” Jackson claimed. Jinyoung understood that Jackson knew the beach and the water better than he did, but he knew it was dangerous to trust anything they saw.

“This is an arena,” Jinyoung pointed out, “I don’t trust normal.” He stood up and looked out towards it and back up towards the plains. Jackson looked at it again then back to Jinyoung who fixed his eyes on the fog and measured in his mind how fast it was moving. It could increase in pace, they didn’t have time.

“I’ll go check it out,” Jackson said and he got up and started walking towards the water. The mysterious fog was moving faster than he liked. It would be to the shore soon.

“Wait Jackson,” Jinyoung said, “We should get out of here.” The other tribute wasn’t listening to him. “Jackson!” Jinyoung grabbed his arm and Jackson turned back to him. Jinyoung was sure that Jackson saw the fear in his eyes. He hoped it would be enough to let him understand. They couldn’t sit around and wait, they had to run before they all died.

“Okay,” Jackson responded and he ran up the rocks where the others were sleeping. “EVERYONE GET UP NOW! We have to run now!” 

Seokjin was the first one up, and the girls followed. Jinyoung knew they’d all sleep light because they were in the arena, no one trusted anything. The tributes grabbed their bags and weapons as quickly as they could. Jinyoung swung his quiver and bow onto his back and grabbed his backpack. They would have to leave the tents. There was no time.

“What is it?” Hyolyn asked as she got her weapons and bags in order. Jinyoung felt that everyone was moving too slowly.

“The fog’s got Jinyoung jumpy,” Jackson said, “but this is the arena, so it’s best to get going now.” They nodded. Jinyoung was relieved when he realized no one was wasting their time by packing the tents, but they grabbed their sleeping bags. Jinyoung continued to be anxious about the time they took. Every second could matter.

When they finally made it to the grass and moved to run up the hill the fog was moving fast behind them. Faster than it had been moving before.

“We need to get up higher!” Jinyoung called out to them. He didn’t want to find out if it was the same fog as his own games or something worse. He didn’t want to choke or get burned to death. The fog got closer as they ran together. Hyolyn was the last one in their lineup, watching over Sandara, and she began to cough. Jinyoung spared a glance back at them as they moved.

They needed to move faster, but they couldn’t leave anyone behind. Fear gripped his chest. He heard the sound of someone falling, it was what he feared the most. That they all wouldn’t make it together.

“Stop!” Someone cried out. They all turned back to see Hyolyn clutching Sandara trying to get her to stand fast but the fog was getting closer. They were just barely ahead of it and Jinyoung could smell it in the air. He could almost feel it closing around his throat.

“I’m not going to make it,” Sandara said as she coughed. Jinyoung’s heart clenched, they didn’t have time to make decisions and leaving someone behind wasn’t a choice he wanted to make. 

“You have to!” Hyolyn said desperately, “get up now, Unnie!”

“We have to go,” Jackson said. Jinyoung saw the fog was going to be moving higher soon, it was the same as the arena before. They had to get higher to escape it. They needed to make it to the trees and climb. Even if they got Sandara back up and ran, she wouldn’t be able to climb.

“Dara we’re not leaving you!” Seokjin declared. 

“The mission,” Sandara said, and she looked up. She looked at Jinyoung with a sadness in her eyes she then looked back at Hyolyn. “You have to go, you have to leave me.” 

Hyolyn was crying. Jinyoung knew Dara was her mentor, the person who had gotten her through her darkest times. Jinyoung looked at Seokjin. The other didn’t move, he looked scared. They had no other choice, none of them could carry her or make her stronger. He wanted to breakdown but he had to keep his head, they had to keep moving.

“Please Hyorin,” Sandara begged, and for a second Jinyoung was scared that Hyolyn would decide to stay with her. Instead Hyolyn nodded and kissed the top of her old mentors head. Tears stained her face as she got up and gestured to the others to run.

Jinyoung didn’t know what to do but to follow her. He wanted to find another way, but if Hyolyn had the strength to leave then he had to follow what she did. The four victors that remained ran hard and Sandara was left behind. A cannons blast sounded, he heard Hyolyn crying as they ran. It tore through Jinyoung’s heart as he realized that another had died for him. They weren’t out of danger yet, but they ran higher and higher up the hills, away from the loss. Away from the sinking reminder that the arena would kill them all before the end. 

They soon made it to the trees. They all climbed because that was what Jinyoung did first and when they were finally high above the ground Jinyoung felt safe. He glanced around at their faces, each were sad but Hyolyn’s broke his heart. She was crying openly as she leaned her head against the tree trunk. The choice to leave Sandara behind broke her open. Another one had fallen, it was the Hunger Games at work.

—————

The morning was cold. The ground he slept on was dewy, moisture soaking slightly into his clothing. Yoongi had taken the last watch that night. Jaebum woke up with a dreaded feeling in his veins that something had gone wrong. He looked out through the slight mists of the morning and wondered what was out there. The day held dangers, they hadn’t encountered anything by the side of the boundary the day before. He didn’t know what he was feeling.

Maybe it was just the fear of the unknown. So many things could be around every corner they would cross. Traps devised to take their lives before they even had a chance to fight back. Other tributes weren’t the only danger they would face. He looked over to see Yoongi's eyes were on the forest and a knife was in his hand. 

"What is it?" Jaebum asked. He could tell that the other tribute was tense. He didn’t know much about Yoongi but he trusted that the man knew when danger was nearby. He had been trained as an assassin by President Yang himself, shaped to take out people the President found were a threat to him. 

"I have a feeling," Yoongi said, “I think the game makers are going to drive us all together today.” He was looking out when Jaebum saw what he saw. Mutts in the distance. The game makers would put threats in play not to kill them but to ensure their paths all crossed. Their allies and enemies. They would likely find Jinyoung if he was okay, but they would be drawn into a fight.

"We have to leave?" Jaebum observed as a question. 

"It's been too quiet," Yoongi responded, "you know what it means." 

He nodded, the game makers always drove tributes together when the games got quiet. They had to move towards the center to avoid the mutts and they had to be on guard because it was likely they would not be running towards friends.

“Okay," Jaebum said in response. He moved up and he shook Joon and Jisoo awake.

"Aisssh," Joon complained, "I wanted to sleep more!"

"You can sleep if you want to stay here and die," Jaebum responded, "we’ve got to move, there are mutts coming." If it was just Yoongi and himself, Jaebum might have been tempted to try and fight the mutts. However, Joon and Jisoo couldn’t fight and because of this facing the mutts head on was not a good plan. Both District Three tributes were important to the plan to keep Jinyoung safe. He wouldn’t jeopardize their lives.

"Shit," Jisoo said as she looked out at the mutts. She had her backpack on her back fast and sprang to her feet. Jaebum helped Joon stand and got him moving to follow Jisoo deeper into the forest. He nodded to Yoongi and followed from behind. They would defend the other two; Yoongi would watch ahead and Jaebum would watch behind.

They walked through the forest carefully, and stayed along the waterways. They had to cross at one point because the mutts got closer. It was difficult but they swam for it, Jaebum kept close to Joon to make sure he was okay as they did so. When they were near the center of the arena, the mutts stopped stalking in the distance. They stayed pretty far off and then turned away. Jaebum breathed in relief for that but he knew their enemies would be close.

"Jaebum!" The sound of a voice called out. He looked up towards the source, weapons automatically raised in guard. Anything around them could kill him but within seconds Jaebum realized that he recognized the voice.

"They're safe!" another voice exclaimed, "Yoongi what's up man?" 

It had been Jackson Wang, and Jaebum soon saw their group of four climbing from the trees. They had found them, they were safe. Jaebum was relieved. There would be no more time spent wondering about where Jinyoung was, no more time he couldn’t protect him. His eyes locked on Jinyoung's as the boy descended from the trees and ran forward into his arms.

Jaebum closed his arms around Jinyoung, he was so happy to have him there, alive. He held Jinyoung tightly, close to his chest. He didn't want to think about the fears he had kicked out for the days they’d been apart. He finally had the younger in his arms he realized he felt better. He hadn’t fully chased his fears away on his own, they only left by Jinyoung being there with him.

Jinyoung was shaking and Jaebum could tell he had been more afraid. He wondered what Jinyoung had experienced within the arena, what he’d been forced to survive. Jinyoung had been afraid to lose Jaebum, he understood that, but at least Jaebum had known from Namjoon's message that Jinyoung was safe. Jinyoung had nothing to tell him that Jaebum was okay. He kissed the top of the younger's head and kept his grip on him. It was comforting finally having him there.

They were each other’s weakness.

He didn’t realize he had completely let his guard down.

A knife sailed through the air. 

Jinyoung cried out.

Jaebum was in shock as he looked up and saw them in the distance, his eyes landing on Zico’s. He spun Jinyoung around away from them but they had already hit him. Yoongi and Hyolyn leapt into action, both tributes rushed forward to defend them but Jaebum was in shock. He had failed.

"Jinyoung!" He cried out, witnessing the knife in the younger’s back. Blood spilled out from the wound. Jinyoung was panting, shaking and clinging to Jaebum. He’d let his guard down and allowed it to happen. He’d known they’d be driven together with their enemies yet he’d let himself stop watching. 

“Get him down and hold him still!" Seokjin was at his side commanding him, "Jinyoung, stay awake." Jaebum fell to his knees as instructed to lower Jinyoung down to the ground. He held the younger towards him and positioned Jinyoung’s back towards Seokjin. Jinyoung wore his quiver, which had protected part of his back, but the knife had hit him was lower down at his waist. Jinyoung’s breathing was heavy and Jaebum worried about his lungs. The knife could have hit his lungs. In that case they wouldn’t be able to do anything for him.

"This is bad, this is really bad," Seokjin said, those words scared Jaebum, "Jisoo!" He called for her help. "I need you to get more of these plants," he instructed as he handed her something, "We need to stop the bleeding. Jaebum you need to put him down flat on the ground now.” Jaebum obeyed and laid Jinyoung down.

“Jaebum,” Jinyoung said his name, his voice sounded so pained. Jaebum slipped his hand into Jinyoung’s.

“I’m right here,” Jaebum said, “I’m not going anywhere.” Jin pulled the knife out of Jinyoung’s back and Jinyoung cried out again. Jaebum winced, he hated seeing Jinyoung in pain.

"There could be more of them around," Jackson said. Jaebum looked up to see that he was watching the forest. 

"We can't afford more now!” Seokjin yelled, “Jackson, where'd Yoongi and Hyolyn go?! Tell them to get back, we need a perimeter!"

Jaebum looked around, Yoongi and Hyolyn had run off and without them they’d be vulnerable. Jinyoung and Yoongi were their only ranged fighters. Against Ji-hyun they’d be in danger, and they didn’t know where he was. 

"I'll set up a perimeter!" Joon shouted. He unrolled his wire and began to tie it around a tree as Jaebum watched in horror. He wondered if they’d hit their limit. He wondered if this was where it all fell apart. Jinyoung was bleeding out and they were scattered again. He wished he still had Taecyeon with him to tell him everything was going to turn out okay. 

"Please tell me there is no poison," Jaebum said to Seokjin. Jinyoung was looking pale. If he lost much more blood it could get really bad. They had no way to medically fix the problem.

"I can't be sure yet, some poisons are odorless," Seokjin responded as he continued to address the situation. He put his hands on the wound and felt around inside. Jinyoung whimpered and responded with pained moans. 

“Hold him still!” Seokjin commanded as he moved his hands, and Jaebum restrained Jinyoung from being able to squirm. The younger was crying and he hated watching it. Seokjin pushed his fingers in deeper, Jinyoung cried painfully. He was breathing hard and Jaebum knew he was trying to level himself off. Jaebum felt helpless, he couldn't fix it. He couldn't stop it from happening, he had been too stupid to see what was coming. They weren't safe ever going to be safe with the game makers driving them all together.

"Bom and Joon!" Jackson shouted, "they're approaching!" Jaebum looked up and saw them coming.

"Jaebum," Seokjin grabbed his arm and their eyes met, "I need you to fight to defend us, I've got him. Trust me!" Jaebum wasn't thinking straight, he was seeing red, their king was down and their enemies were closing in. He had to get up and fight. He nodded in response.

“Jaebum!” Jinyoung cried for him. He hated ignoring it, he hated letting go of his hand, but he had to. He stood up and walked alongside Jackson as the District Two tributes approached them.

They charged forward, Jaebum clashed his axe to Bom's sword while Jackson fought hard against Lee Joon. He had to put the sound of Jinyoung's cries out of his head. Jin had him, he couldn’t worry about him. The District Two tributes were trained fighters but Jaebum and Jackson had their youth on their side. They moved faster, fighting with all they could, both passionate to protect their friends. Jaebum sought to drive them back, away from the clearing without getting so far away that he couldn't be there to protect Jinyoung. He saw his opening and pushed back against Bom then moved quickly to strike her down.

A canon went off as Jaebum drove his axe into her, letting all his anger go with it. He hated the people that stood against them and tried to stop them. The people who wanted Jinyoung dead would die because Jaebum wouldn’t let them live. Jackson struck Lee Joon down quickly and another canon went off. 

“That was incredible my man!” Jackson declared. Jaebum wouldn’t be celebrating their victory. He turned back to see Jisoo had returned and was helping Seokjin. Jinyoung's breathing was sputtering off. He was getting pale.

"Jinyoung," Jaebum was at his side again and he slipped his hand back into his. Jinyoung didn’t respond, he looked out of it, like he wasn’t all there. There was definitely poison in his body. 

"How is he?" Jackson asked.

"I'm not going to lie to you,” Seokjin said, "I'm not prepared for this. We need help now." 

"Outside help?" Jaebum asked, he was worried that was what Jin meant. Outside help never came fast enough, it took negotiating and time. Namjoon wouldn’t have enough time to get it done.

"You don't need outside help," a woman’s voice spoke. “I can help.” 

They all turned back to see an enemy. Jaebum lifted his axe fast as if to fight, but she held her hands up in surrender. She wasn’t there to fight them.

"Stand down," Jackson said to Jaebum. Jaebum glared at him, he hadn’t expected Jackson to be defending one of their enemies.

"You're not with us," Seokjin said to her, “I’m sorry Taeyeon, but we can’t trust you."

"I'm not a coward," Taeyeon emphasized. "I fight with honor, there is no fight to be had here when your friend is hurt. I will help you this once if you let me. If you don’t you will lose him.” Her weapons were away, her hands up, and she appeared as a friend. Jaebum didn’t want to risk losing him.

"How can you help him?" Jaebum asked her, he didn't trust her. He wanted to know because Jinyoung’s life was on the line, but one more wrong move and Jaebum could lose him.

"I know Zico used a poison on his blades, he always does,” she responded, "I have the cure to his poison, a bit of insurance since this is the hunger games. You never know who could be your friend one day and your enemy the next. If you don't trust me your friend will die, it is a deadly sort of poison.” The way she presented it made it clear she did not trust Zico.

"So you want to help us today and kill us tomorrow?" Jaebum asked. He was confused by her intentions. Did she have enough antidote to cure Jinyoung as well as to continue to take care of herself?

"I believe in fighting strong enemies,” She responded, “I was looking forward to facing down Jinyoung archer to archer. I won't get that chance if he dies here now. You don’t have much more time to decide, he’s not making any noise anymore because he’s losing consciousness.” Jaebum was afraid she was right and he would have to make a quick decision to trust her.

"I trust her," Jackson declared.

"I don't," Jaebum scoffed.

"She has no reason to lie about this," Jisoo responded. The normally quiet girl was throwing her own opinion in. “She could have killed us all without us knowing she was here but she approached us. She doesn’t mean him harm.” Jaebum knew that Jisoo was right. Taeyeon could have shot them all dead, none of them had ranged weapons or a way to fight against them. 

"Show me," Seokjin said, Jaebum held his axe forward. He was stubborn and scared of letting something go wrong a second time.

"I am not letting her near Jinyoung," He declared, “she can hand whatever it she has to me.”

"Don't be stupid," Jackson responded, "we need to trust her." Jaebum knew Jackson was likely letting his personal feelings for her interfere with his judgement. 

"He has good reason not to trust me,” Taeyeon said, "I understand, I really do. But you're out of options and I am not just going to let go of what it is I have.” They didn’t have time. He glared at her but he backed down. Jaebum lowered his weapon and moved back away. He knelt down and his hand found Jinyoung’s he squeezed it. Jinyoung’s hand curled around his, reassurance that the younger was still awake.

“Okay, what do you have?” Seokjin asked her she pulled out a vial from around her neck. The liquid inside of it was orange and glowing. It almost looked like fire. Jin’s eyes widened.

“Where did you get that?” He asked her.

“It is my token,” Taeyeon responded.

"You got that approved?" Jin asked. Jaebum wondered what it was.

"They never screen for these things when your stylist is the one to give it to you," she replied, “you know that. It’s how you got Jinyoung’s fancy watch in.”

"What is it?" Jaebum asked.

“It’s Starcrest nectar," Jin responded, "engineered and grown only in District One, it is a cure that counteracts any poison."

"You're just carrying something that rare and valuable in a necklace?" Jaebum asked. He had heard of starcrest. It had more facets that just it’s antipoison. It was a hard flower to grow and it was used for many sorts of medicinal drugs. 

"We all carry things that are valuable," Taeyeon replied, "some of us find value in a person, others in the simplicity of our belief." She held the vial out and motioned to Jin. He backed away from Jinyoung’s wound. She opened the vial reverently, she knew it’s value better than any of them. Jaebum realized how much of a sacrifice she was making. Taeyeon was offering them quite a bit, there wasn’t much of the nectar in her necklace. 

Jin held the knife wound open. Jaebum could tell Jinyoung was barely fighting for consciousness. Taeyeon poured a bit of the liquid into the open wound and Jaebum watched it go in. Once she pulled away, Jin quickly shut the wound and held it together as if to keep the cure inside.

"Get a fire going," Taeyeon instructed Jackson, "we'll need to close the wound as soon as we can even with the poison not a problem anymore. We'll need hot water."

"We have everything we need," Jisoo responded. She went to work with Jackson while Jin kept his hands on JInyoung’s back. Taeyeon closed the vial and put her necklace back behind her shirt. She put a hand on Jin’s shoulder and nodded to him. 

"Where are Hyolyn and Yoongi?" Joon asked. Jaebum had forgotten about him and turned to see he had rigged up a bunch of his wire. Probably some sort of trap.

"Are you going to stick around?" Seokjin asked Taeyeon.

"I can't for much longer," she responded, "I have to find Jay."

"You don't have to go back to their side," Seokjin said. Jaebum remembered that Taeyeon had almost been their ally. She had wanted to be fighting with them but she had her own reasons why she couldn’t. There were things she loved that she couldn’t let go of. He understood that.

“I do have to go back,” she responded, "we all have to make choices. We are the ones who have to live with the consequences of our choices. There are things I need to protect.” Jin nodded. Jaebum looked at her and wished so much that she would join their side. She was different than the others. She didn’t belong with them and their hateful ways. Jaebum felt Jinyoung stop shaking and assumed it was the poison being neutralized. He was very thankful they had trusted her.

"Thank you," Jaebum met her eyes and spoke those words.

"Watch over him," Taeyeon responded, "I know how much he means to you, and to everyone." Jaebum nodded, he would do better to make sure it didn’t happen again.

As she left the beeping of a parachute descended and Jaebum reached up to grab it. Jin had already begun to work at cleaning Jinyoung's wound with hot water. Jaebum opened the container and within it was a note.

_You're not out of the woods yet, get out of there asap. This should help. - Hani_

"We need to leave," he told Seokjin. He looked up and handed him the container and the note.

"This will definitely help. It’s a cream to help fight infection,“ Seokjin said as he opened it up and quickly applied the cream to Jinyoung’s back. “As for leaving I am not comfortable with Yoongi and Hyolyn not being back."

"We can't stick around here though,” Jaebum said. Along with the cream Jin pulled something else out of the container, it was a bandage. He quickly stuck it over Jinyoung’s wound in a way that held it together.

"I know," Seokjin responded, "you have to carry him as we go" Jaebum nodded and Jin lowered Jinyoung's shirt and jacket over his back before reaching to unhook his quiver. Jaebum reached over to lift Jinyoung, who had acquiesced to whatever they had to do to him. The younger looked like he was barely awake. His eyes were dead like he’d retreated into his mind with everything that was going on. He had been stripped of his weapons, he wouldn’t be fighting any battles for the remainder of the day. They had to get him far away from the center.

Jaebum lifted him up into his arms as Jin put the bow and quiver on his own back. They had to decide which direction to go and they relayed the message to the other three. Everyone had suggestions, all of them held different dangers. They decided to head to the caves in the north after evaluating that the other options weren’t worth the risk. Jin had told Jaebum that it was okay if Jinyoung passed out, since his body needed to recover. Jaebum had to carry him and because of this the others had to stay on guard of them in case any of their enemies came.

Jinyoung didn't fall asleep immediately. He stared at Jaebum as he walked as if he was making sure this wasn't a dream. He eventually placed his head against the elders neck and let sleep claim in. Jaebum felt Jinyoung’s steady breath against his neck like a message to Jaebum over and over that he was still alive. He hated that the younger had gotten hurt as a result of his own negligence. He should have been watching.

He had been so distracted by the younger he hadn't seen a threat to his life. That was on Jaebum, that was something he wouldn't be able to ever stop blaming himself for. He knew Jinyoung was a weakness, but he didn't know it would be exploited that quickly. The others didn't blame him, but he had known better about how safe they really were.

He knew they wouldn’t hold the fault against him, but that wouldn’t stop him from being on guard from then on. His eyes watched every which way as they walked. He searched constantly for something, anything that was off. Jisoo and Joon lead the way since they knew where the mountain caves were. He felt bad that they were going back to them when Jisoo had traumatic memories associated with the place. 

"What have your days been like?" Seokjin asked him as they walked up towards their destination.

"Well," Jaebum said, "we encountered giant mosquito like bugs and almost died from a fire. We finally rested and then Taecyeon found us with Joon and Jisoo. We were exploring to the east when Taecyeon hit the boundary and didn’t make it. It's been hell."

“So it’s been the hunger games,” Seokjin joked in response. Jaebum let a small smile break. They all knew what it was like.

"What about all you?" Jaebum asked.

"We have definitely had it much easier," Jin responded, "Though Jinyoung passed out as we were running from the center, we had to set up camp too close for comfort. I never found out what was wrong, it seemed like it was something bad beyond just being separated from you.” Jaebum wondered if he’d seen something unsettling or something that reminded him of the arena he’d been in before.

"The next day we traveled towards the coast because Jackson wanted to fish and make camp far away from where the career pack would be," Seokin continued, "we sang songs on the way and made camp down there. It worked out, we fished and had an almost peaceful night, until we woke up before dawn to death fog closing in. We lost Sandara." Jaebum was sad to hear that, Sandara had always been kind to them.

It was then they heard a sound of thunder in the air  
They stepped out into the tall grass, away from the trees, and Jaebum looked up. He wondered if it was dangerous to be walking around in the grass during a lighting storm. He sighed, he knew what it would build to and where it would go. If it was the same as the last time it would pose no threat.

"Did I hear right, that you got to sing songs and basically go camping for a day and a half?” Jaebum asked Seokjin. The older tribute smiled in response.

"That was exactly how our games went until the death fog rolled in," Seokjin responded.

"Just wait till you see the fucking large mosquitos," Jaebum quipped. He wished they hadn’t gotten separated at the center, though he wasn’t sure Joon could have run from the fog. Both groups had lost companions that they would never get back. They had to keep moving forward despite it. 

"No thanks," Jin responded, "I'll take your word for it that they were from hell."

"No really, you should see them," Jaebum responded with a laugh, "there are tall grass fields in the east, go through them and wait till you hear the buzzing of the hell creatures." It felt better to be joking. They both knew how horrible things could go. Any little moments of light they got were welcome.

"Again, no thanks," Jin said. He saw a bolt of lightning crash to the east of them. It was beautiful, but something he wasn’t too fond of. Being hit by lighting wasn’t an experience he wanted to have.

"The lightning is worrying," Jaebum said, "should we keep going forward or wait a bit?" They weren’t far from the trees at that point, if they went back they would have cover from the storm.

"I say let's risk it since Hani's note said to get out of the woods," Seokin responded, “I’d rather face that right now then to run into Zico or Ji-hyun.” 

"The lightning won't hit us," Joon spoke up, "I was tracking it two days ago when the storm hit. It strikes in a pattern, around the edges of the arena, almost as if builds. It culminates at that spire up there in the mountains with a huge strike.” Jaebum remembered being up there when it struck. It was and incredible sight.

"Could we use this as a weapon?" Seokjin asked, Jaebum knew why.

"Yes," Joon responded, "everywhere we've gone I've been dropping these." He opened his hands, Jaebum saw small black devices. "They're electronic attractors I developed for this purpose.” 

"What?" Jaebum asked.

“The goal is if we trail a wire from there into the grasslands," he said, he pointed to the spire. "We can light this valley up and maybe catch some tributes in a trap. The only issue is the lightning will strike today but not tomorrow. It will return the day after tomorrow." 

"But we could add to the weaponization," Jaebum responded, "with those devices within that time frame. Like, if we all collected some and scattered them throughout the valley?" 

"Yes," Joon stated, "we could light up more and more of the arena depending on how many and how close together they are."

“So we’d turn the careers into fried chicken? Sounds good to me,” Jackson said, "let's do it!"

"It sounds like the best plan we have to counter attack them,” Seokjin responded, "but we need to make sure all our people are out of the valley when it hits.”

"Of course," Jaebum responded, "we wouldn't risk anyone’s safety.” The whole conversation was a cover, Jaebum understood that but he needed to play along with it. The real goal wasn’t to fight the tributes, they wanted to take down the dome above them to get Jinyoung out of the arena.

“It’s good to know you worry about the rest of us," Jackson commented in response to Jaebum’s words.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Jaebum asked though he pretty much already knew.

"You know what I mean," Jackson responded voice much colder. Jackson was speaking because he felt that Jaebum and Jinyoung might turn against them. He could be saying the things he was saying to throw off their enemies, to make it seem like their team up wouldn’t last. 

"Enough," Jin said, sounding exasperated with them. "We're a team, we are all working together towards a common goal, now is not the time to be arguing.”

"Yeah but Jinyoung and Jaebum are working together for another goal," Jackson said. Jaebum was annoyed, he didn’t expect Jackson to take it so far.

"Again what are you implying?" Jaebum said low and threatening, he didn't like Jackson's tone. Jaebum wasn’t planning on going on his own with Jinyoung. Not even if things went wrong. They would be standing together, that was the plan.

"You know if things go wrong here," Jackson said, "you two will set out alone and claim that team prize, leaving us all to die.”

"That's not going to happen," Jaebum said, "you know that." He kept reminding himself that Jackson was playing the game. They couldn’t be caught in their plan before they’d carried it out, but this felt too real. He felt like Jackson was attacking him and he wondered what had spurred it into happening.

"Well with how you and Jinyoung have been acting," Jackson responded, “I don’t know what might happen.” Jackson looked at him like they were in a confrontation, like he was about to draw his sword.

"The hell?" Jaebum remarked. He held onto Jinyoung a little tighter.

"Jackson back off," Seokjin stated, he stood between them, “now is not the time to be fighting!” 

"Jackson," Jisoo spoke up, "just don't, we are a team. We can't be fighting, not when we've found a way to win."

"Yeah and what happens when we fry the careers?" Jackson responded, "the other tribute from your district is alive too Jisoo, will you two set off alone as well?” 

"Jackson," Jaebum said angrily, "you can't seriously believe that?" He could take Jackson coming at him but he would not tolerate anyone attacking Jisoo. She didn’t have any plans like that.

"ENOUGH," Jin shouted at them, "Jackson if you really believe that you can feel free leave anytime, but as it is, we are a team and we will continue to work together. If you want to accuse your own allies of double crossing you then you can set out on your own and take your chances with the careers. Now stop!”

They all were stunned to silence. They had never heard Jin yell like that, but the older tribute already moved on and continued walking up towards the hills.

There was a sound of thunder in the air. It reflected how they all felt. Jaebum followed the others but he was not completely convinced Jackson's argument was entirely make-believe. He knew that all of them knew what the real plan was. Everyone but Jinyoung knew the plot ahead of them was much bigger than the games. Jackson knew that very well, so he had to follow it, but Jaebum wondered if his allies were preparing for what would happen should their plan go wrong.

He needed to calm down and not get angry. He reminded himself that Jackson knew that if the Capitol found out any of what they were planning, then all of them would probably be killed. It had to remain uneasy because it had to, their alliance couldn't sail along smoothly the whole time. It would be suspicious for them to be friendly the whole ride through. Jackson picking at JJ Project's relationship was good television for the viewers. Everything was a part of surviving and playing the game as best they could. That thought calmed him.

The argument was a good way to hide that none of them intended to break up the team any time soon. Jackson was doing an incredible job to that end because Jaebum had a hard time discerning if the argument was real. Jaebum looked at the devices in Joon's hand and wondered if those were a cover up as well. 

They walked on into the mountains, they weren't close to the spire, but they saw when the lightning strike just after sunset like Joon said it would. It was a bright mess of lightning crashing into the spire once the sun had set. The light illuminated the hills around them. Seeing it the second time was still a jaw dropping sight.

They made it to the caves safely and Jaebum knew that Jin was worried about Yoongi. He had made a good move for them earlier to chase off Zico but the downsides is he wasn’t with them. He was their strongest ally, not having him there was difficult.

Jin rolled a sleeping bag out for Jinyoung and Jaebum placed him inside, stirring him awake with the movement. He looked up into Jaebum's eyes and Jaebum knew he was wondering if this was a dream. What had two days away been like for him? Jaebum smiled at the younger and leaned down to kiss his forehead. He wanted Jinyoung to feel safe.

"I'm here, I promise,” Jaebum said softly. Jinyoung reached up to touch his face, Jaebum smiled at the contact. There was something different in his eyes as he looked at Jaebum. 

"You won't leave for anywhere without me?" Jinyoung asked. Jaebum had no plans to let him be alone. 

"I promise, I won't go anywhere without you knowing,” Jaebum said, "but you need to rest, nothing big is going to happen tonight. Just sleep, I’ll be here when you wake up.” Jinyoung shook his head.

"I don't want to yet," he said, "not without you." Jaebum knew what Jinyoung meant, he wanted him to lay next to him. He’d had to sleep alone for two nights. He had slept soundly in Jaebum’s arms as they walked. 

"I can't yet,” Jaebum said, “we’re going to get some food together. Rest and I’ll wake you up when it’s all ready.” He stroked the younger’s brow. “Everything’s going to be okay.” Jinyoung pouted, and that made Jaebum smile. He was happy seeing the expression, because he knew if Jinyoung was pouting he really was going to be okay.

"I'll come soon," Jaebum said, "I'm going to be right over here with the others. I’m close by. How’s your back feeling?” He wanted to make sure Jinyoung was feeling better. The scare of him getting hurt stuck with Jaebum. Things could have gone much worse.

“It hurts,” Jinyoung said, “but the poison felt different, I felt like I was dying. I don’t feel like that anymore.” Jaebum was glad to hear that. Taeyeon’s cure had worked. 

“You lost a lot of blood,” Jaebum said, “so rest is important.” Jinyoung nodded. Jaebum looked at him a moment longer as he settled in and closed his eyes. He was glad the day had brought Jinyoung back to him. Even if things had gone wrong they were together and that gave him so much release.

—————

Jinyoung turned over on his stomach after Jaebum left his side, he didn't want to lay on his back as the knife wound was painful to lay on. It was cold and the air seemed to be getting colder each night that went by. The nightmare got more and more real as the reality of the arena settled around him. These games were meant to shake all of them, and being separated from Jaebum had shaken him. 

He saw that Jaebum blamed himself for what happened with Zico. Jinyoung didn't blame him, no one was watching their surroundings when they had all been reunited. It was unexpected when they’d seen their allies below them. He’d called out for Jaebum and gotten down to him as fast as he could. He was still in shock over what had happened after. One moment he had been so happy at having Jaebum’s arms around him, and in the next moment he was in excruciating pain unsure of what was going on.

He had shut down after it happened. He hadn’t wanted to do anything that might have made the situation worse. He struggled when Jin worked on the wound, unable to stay completely still. It was more painful when Jin had taken the knife out and began checking for any major issues inside. The fact that Taeyeon had helped them was even more confusing. Jin had said the situation was bad and Taeyeon had said he would die without her cure. 

If Jaebum hadn't accepted Taeyeon's help he would have died. Or at least been in much worse shape than he was if Taeyeon’s words were false. As it was, he only felt tired and his back was sore. He was lucky that things hadn’t been worse. One thing he knew for sure was that Zico needed to go down. He had a habit for sending poison into people when their backs were turned.

He had gotten close to killing both Jaebum and Jinyoung with his method of striking when his enemies were distracted. Jaebum's initial assessment that they should “shoot first, think later’’ when it came to Zico had prove to be true. He wished he’d been paying enough attention to be able to fire his bow at the other tribute. Zico didn't fight with honor like Taeyeon did, there were no rules to the game for him. That was clearly why the President liked him.

Jinyoung tried to listen in on the others arguing about whether to go out and find Yoongi. He saw Jisoo was working on preparing food. Jinyoung laid back and tried to close his eyes and rest like Jaebum had instructed him to.

His eyes had just closed when his watch began to move. He looked at it and saw that it was lit up. He was surprised and wondered if Yoongi was calling. Within a few more seconds a sound came from it.

"Jinyoung," a voice, Yoongi’s voice, "Jinyoung, Jaebum is anyone there?” Jinyoung knew the others had been searching for Yoongi and he was glad he’d called.

"Yoongi," he responded, he hoped he didn’t have to do anything in order for Yoongi to hear him.

"You're there," Yoongi said, "where are you all?” Jinyoung moved and his back hurt as he did but he had to get the attention of the others.

"We're in the mountain caves," Jinyoung said he worked carefully to turn over and groaned at the effort it took. The others were sitting at the mouth of the cave and not paying any attention to him. 

"Listen I need to talk to Jin now," Yoongi said through the watch, “get him now.”

"Okay," Jinyoung said, he worked to sit up and the pain sharpened right where the wound was in his back. He winced and breathed hard, but he wouldn’t stop his task.

"Jaebum," he called out. He knew that the elder would be listening for him in case anything was wrong. Jaebum turned to meet his eyes before walking towards him quickly. 

"What's up?" Jaebum asked. His brow was furrowed in concern.

"Yoongi made contact," Jinyoung said motioning to his watch, “he can hear you, he wants to talk to Jin.” Jinyoung was so happy that his watch actually worked and they could talk to their friend.

"Yoongi where are you?" Jaebum asked.

"I'm in the..." static filled in where the words were once clear, "rest... caught Sunmi..." Jinyoung tried to hear through but it became difficult to make it out.

"Where?" Jaebum asked again. Jinyoung shook the watch slightly.

“…Forest," it came through clearer, "Listen you need to scout out... following you!" Was Yoongi saying that he was following or that someone else had been following them?

"What?" Jaebum asked.

"Jay was following you," it came through clear again, "he's going to signal… others…” Jinyoung looked up at Jaebum in concern. If someone had been following them and was going to signal for help they would be caught in a bad position. They needed Yoongi and Hyolyn back to stand any chance in a fight.

"That doesn't sound good," Jackson said, the whole group's attention was on them and on the watch. Seokjin had approached to listen as well.

"Did he just say Jay was following us?" Jin responded.

"Yes Jay followed all of you!" Yoongi said louder, "you need to find him and take him out before he signals the others."

"Are you coming here?" Jin asked him. Jinyoung could hear the worry in his voice.

"We will soon," Yoongi responded, "We'll head there soon. Take out the enemies, protect each other.” They needed to find Jay before he could signal to the other careers where they were. Jinyoung was afraid of what that meant. He wondered if they were already too late.

"Understood," Jaebum responded. Jinyoung felt his heart sink with worry, they had wanted to settle in for the night to rest but the battle wasn't over. He needed to be ready for a fight.

"Where's my bow," Jinyoung asked as the light faded. He realized they had taken it away from him and he wanted it back. It was time for someone to go out and take out Jay. Things could get messy if any of them left. He would need to be able to protect them wherever he was.

"You're not going out there," Jaebum said, his voice was laced with worry.

"No," Jinyoung said, "but I need to defend right here if any of you are leaving." 

"Understandable," Seokjin said and he walked off, presumably to get the bow. Jinyoung looked up at Jaebum and saw him looking towards Jackson. The two of them nodded to each other. Jinyoung looked around the camp and wondered what team they would send. 

"You're not going out there," Jinyoung said to Jaebum, "you can't." He echoed the exact same words that Jaebum had spoke to him but it was a different reason. He didn’t want to be separated from Jaebum again. 

“Jinyoung I have to,” Jaebum said, “for all our sakes. Our biggest chance is for Joon to rig up his wires up here. We can’t lose that chance by losing this ground and the others can’t find where we are.” 

“Not you though,” Jinyoung said, “please.” He really didn’t know if he could handle another day without Jaebum there. He worried so much for the two days that they were separated. He wouldn’t be able to rest until Jaebum was back if he left. Jaebum put his forehead against Jinyoung’s. His heart pounded in fear of thinking that Jaebum wouldn’t come back. He had to come back so Jinyoung could tell him that he loved him.

“Jinyoung,” Jaebum said softly, “I promise if the group decides I should go, I will come back. I will always come back to you.” Tears welled Jinyoung’s eyes. He knew very well how unpredictable a games could be, how that promise could go awry. They might not have one more day, they might not have one more hour. Jinyoung didn’t want to respond with finality as if he wouldn’t get another chance.

“If you go,” Jinyoung’s brain thought of his only way, “I go.” They couldn’t be separated. 

“You can barely stand,” Jaebum said.

“I don’t want to be separated again,” Jinyoung replied. He couldn’t have that, he didn’t want it. He wanted Jaebum by his side where he belonged. They were a team, they belonged together.

“Jinyoung,” Jaebum put a hand against his face, “I promise you, I absolutely promise you with all my heart I will be back. You have to be strong right now. You are strong enough to handle this. You will be fine.” Jinyoung shook his head ‘no’ but he knew he couldn’t argue for it anymore. He couldn’t convince Jaebum to stay when others would be risking their lives for all of them. It was unfair and wrong. It just hurt to think that any moment Jaebum could be taken away from him.

In the end it was decided Jackson and Jaebum would go. Jin would stay with Jinyoung and the other two. Jinyoung was propped against the wall, his bow in his hand just in case they were found by enemies. The whole situation was tense with the enemy closing in. Jinyoung watched Jaebum leave, his heart clenched as if something was being torn away from him.

“They’ll come back,” Seokjin told him.

“I know,” he said, “Jaebum promised.” They could only sit and wait but they heard the blast of a cannon and it meant there was no peace. Not knowing was painful. Jinyoung trembled from the fear, his right hand tapped away at his leg. He wouldn’t rest till Jaebum returned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading this chapter. Our boys were back together only to be split apart again. The next chapter will be the longest in the story then the rest of them will probably come out fast.
> 
> The next chapter is called "Flower Petals."
> 
> Please leave a Kudos and a Comment to let me know what you think of this chapter, thanks to all who have commented.


	18. Flower Petals

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our heroes get caught in a complicated web as the fight for survival continues.
> 
> Events referenced in this chapter are written up here in detail as Appendix C: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16399112/chapters/41163857

Flower petals rained through the skies. Spring had descended upon them, the cherry blossoms were in full bloom as Hani walked through the sponsors district. The only trees in the whole of the capitol were cherry blossoms. They were beautiful every spring, it was a perfect time to be walking in the city. She had always loved the sight of them when she was young. She wished she had time to stop and admire them, but things were going wrong.

She knew things were going very badly for their team within the arena. Jinyoung was their best chance to really start a revolution. She had to save him, and to save him she would need a miracle. She would need to bargain for the biggest miracle she could amongst men who sold their wares for the reason of entertainment value. There were restrictions on what they could do, but they were human. She knew someone would have what they needed. Jinyoung had to be back in full fighting form and they needed a tool to get him there. To the tributes night had fallen, to her the afternoon was still bright.

She glanced across the square and saw Namjoon arguing with one of the stall owners. She sat on one of the double sided benches and kept her focus forward on the flower petals. No one could know that they were working together, but she knew the moment he saw her he would know what to do. Footsteps approached her, someone sat on the other side. She waited for him to speak so she could be sure it was him. She would not turn to look at him.

"It was banned by Yang himself." Namjoon spoke information that she already knew. She didn’t call it a miracle for no reason. It was banned because Yang liked to make things difficult, but he wasn’t heartless when it came to Jinyoung. The boy’s existence captured his attention, he would know when they got it in but he would allow it.

"I told you we need to find someone sympathetic with our cause," Hani said softly, "someone who would risk everything to do this.” She knew this game well, and knew that it was always a long shot finding that one person who would break the rules. That person would be worried for their own life but this time she was sure someone would be willing to risk it. Things had shifted because of Jinyoung’s actions and people were becoming more emboldened.

There were people who had waited many years to bring Yang down. They just needed to find one person willing to smuggle in the right thing. She was certain they could find someone willing to take the risk. A person who would willingly forfeit their life to save the boy. It was a sacrifice no one would ever see but it was one that could turn the tide.

"We need a miracle," Hani said, "they don't see what we see. Even now, their enemies are closing in. Jinyoung might die here and then it would all be for nothing. We are out of time, and out of options. Keep searching.”

"I can't find anyone who would risk that," Namjoon responded. She knew he didn’t understand the people of the Capitol and what they’d lost to Yang. His world view was limited to that of the districts.

"My boy it's much simpler than you're making it," she responded, "you just need to find the person who has lost something. Yang takes from people in the Capitol as well." She knew that was how they would win this war. By finding the people who knew best what Yang was capable of. "Find the person who is the most broken, believe me, that person wants to save Jinyoung." 

She knew that was the truth. Many people watched and waited for someone to elevate as a hero. Those people loved him, and wanted him to win. They wanted him to lead a rebellion and tear it all down.

"And what if we're out of time?" he asked. Hani looked up to the screen, what was currently on. Jaebum and Jackson had found Jay but they had missed the other one hiding in the mountains.

"We still have time," she responded, "but it is fast running out."

—————

Jinyoung was getting tired. He had lost too much blood earlier in the day to be forcing himself to stay awake so long. Hours had passed since Jaebum had left. The dark of the night was very much all around them. Jinyoung shook from the cold and pulled his sleeping bag closer around his shoulders. He would be warmer if Jaebum was with him. He could no longer stare at the watch and wonder if Jaebum was going to call. Jaebum was with Jackson this time, not Yoongi.

Jisoo was the only one taking the chance to rest. Joon was working with his wires somewhere outside the caves. He had taken a backpack and sleeping bag with him, so Jinyoung assumed he planned to sleep somewhere among the rocks. 

"Jinyoung, you can rest," Seokjin spoke from where he stood at the mouth of the cave. His eyes were in constant watch of the outside. He had pulled Jinyoung further in earlier, farther away from any dangers that could come for them. Jinyoung was annoyed with his own injury and how it put him in more danger. He couldn’t go with Jaebum cause he couldn’t fight with him. He was determined to stay away to defend his friends in whatever way he could.

"I can't sleep,” Jinyoung said, "it's too dangerous." He was afraid of what would happen if he let his guard down. He didn’t want to sleep until Jaebum and Jackson had returned.

"They sent a scout ahead," Seokjin said, "I believe that Jaebum and Jackson will find him before he gets a signal out to our enemies. You should rest now while you still have time. The next few days will be difficult and you’ll wish you’d slept.” Jinyoung shook his head.

"I can't," he reiterated his previous statement but he spoke about something different, “I can’t sleep until I see for myself that Jaebum got back safely." He didn’t want one more night without Jaebum, but it seemed everything in the games was trying to tear them apart. He knew that was what Yang would want and it frightened him. Yang had threatened Jaebum’s life, and he had been the one to put them back in the arena. He knew that Yang wanted him afraid, he wanted to torture them both before he tore them apart. That’s who Yang was.

"Jinyoung, you need to stop this now," Seokjin said with a frustrated tone of voice. "You'd throw away everything for one person and that is not an okay way to be. That is not behavior you should be allowing yourself to have.” It was the same sentiment that Jackson had shared but Jin was more forceful with his words.

"I know what you mean,” Jinyoung said, "but you wouldn't understand how it feels…” 

"I do understand," Jin replied, "I understand much more than you think." Jinyoung paused and wondered. Because the other victors had been through what he had, they had faced the games and the battles and the pain. They had faced the loss and the fear and they had made it through. They were all strong, much stronger than he was. He had to make Jin understand why it was that he needed Jaebum, and how it was different.

"When I got home..." Jinyoung began to think of what exactly happened to cause him to be the way he was, "everything was different. My dad wasn't much of a father to me growing up yet when it came down to it he picked himself up for Youngjae. When I was taken I worried so much about what would happen to Youngjae but when I got home things had changed. They didn't need me..." He paused.

"Not the way they always had," he said tears in his eyes. "When I was a child I hated my father, he shut down on us when we needed him the most. We almost died because he shut down, but when I got back from the games I hated myself more." He remembered the feeling well. Tears fell from his eyes. "Because what was I missing? Why couldn't my father fight for me when I needed it? Yet he could fight for Youngjae when I left? Why had my father shut down after my mother’s death yet taken action when I was taken away to die? And why was I so much like him?"

"Why did I hate him so much?" Jinyoung said everything he’d felt for so long, "when I was the exact same person? When things got hard for me I did the exact same thing. I shut down on Youngjae, I lost my own will to live on. My family didn't need me anymore, and I thought everyone hated me for what I was."

"Jaebum wasn't even there then," Jinyoung stated, "I was trapped, sinking... Feeling like things would be better for everyone if I didn't exist." He remembered it so well and time hadn’t taken those feelings away completely. He could still feel them clawing at the edges of his existence. He felt it when Yang threatened Jaebum. But he had never put it into words before. "Jaebum promised never to tell anyone but I almost ended it."

He was taken back to that day, he found out later how his family had been so worried. Youngjae had run to Jaebum because he had left and hadn't come home. They never talked to Jaebum unless things had really gone wrong. That Youngjae had felt to get Jaebum showed that the things Jinyoung had done had frightened him very much.

"I felt worthless," Jinyoung stated, "because that little boy had died instead of me. He had died for me, and I couldn't even look at the sunset without feeling like I was going to suffocate." No one could reach him when he was in that space, most of them didn't even try. "So I resolved to find a way… a way to stop living, because the feeling was becoming too much. Like each breath I took was a struggle just..." He paused. "I know it was selfish, I understand it was wrong. But I would have done it if Jaebum hadn't been there." He smiled as he remembered the moment Jaebum had rushed into the meadow after him. 

"He grabbed me," Jinyoung said, "he put his arms around me and shook me so hard, I’ll never forget it. He told me that I wasn't weak. He told me there was nothing wrong with me, that it wasn’t my fault and that I was strong enough to get through it." Jinyoung never forgot that day, how Jaebum had cried with him and held him. He’d been so messed up, but Jaebum had broken through the dark. "He took me away from the forest and back to his place. I stayed in his arms for hours as he told me over and over again my life was worth it. He told me over and over again I would make it." That was truly when it had all began for them, how they started together new.

"When I had nothing I had him," Jinyoung said, "when no one could reach me, he did." That was the absolute truth of what happened. Because Jaebum was the only one fierce enough to fight with words of strength for how ever many days and weeks and months it would take to fix him. Jaebum didn’t ever leave him again after that moment and he taught Jinyoung how to live again. "I didn't mean to become so dependent on him, that's what happens, when someone pulls you from the dark. He pulled me out." Jinyoung felt so grateful to Jaebum that he had helped him to keep on living. There was so much he wanted to live for.

"I'm so sorry, Jinyoung," Seokjin said with tears in his own eyes, "you should have never had to feel that way. None of it was your fault.” He spoke with empathy for things he could better understand from hearing the story.

"I know that now," Jinyoung stated, "but if Jaebum hadn't told me, I would have died in that forest two months after the games. Because no one else even tried to help me.” His father had abandoned him again, hadn’t reached to him to try and stop him from getting worse. That was something that hurt.

"And that isn't your fault," Jin said, "it never was." Jin said those words again and Jinyoung knew he meant it.

"I know," Jinyoung said again. He understood why Jin had said it twice, because there would always be a part of him deep down that would gravitate towards self blame. It was because he felt somehow that he wasn't enough, that he couldn't do it on his own. There were times the walls still closed in around him, but Jaebum was always there to love him through it. 

"Jinyoung," Jin said, "do you still feel weak?" Jinyoung was about to speak but Seokjin interrupted. “You’re not. Anyone who has survived that edge you were on, that person could never be weak. Your survival, your existence here, no one could really give that to you. Jaebum helped you, that is true, but you chose to live. You did that. No one can make that choice for you, and no one can be strong for you. That has always been you, not him. That strength is yours. You've mistaken it and tied it to him, but he’s only ever tried to show you the strength in yourself.” Jinyoung looked at him and began to wonder if in everything he said if Jin was right.

"The bond you have with Jaebum is so beautiful," Jin said with a smile through his own tears, “I really believe that you two were meant to find each other. I just want you to know, I mean I don't want you feeling like you're nothing without him. He has only ever wanted to show you how beautiful, how powerful you truly are. You need to know that is you and that you are strong without him.”

Jinyoung began to understand his friends perspective, because in everything Jaebum had never said anything but that Jinyoung was strong. He had always told Jinyoung who he was, not who he was with Jaebum there but who Jinyoung was within himself. Jinyoung never believed it before. Jinyoung had never actually believed he was strong enough...

_I'm nothing._

That was all he had ever said. That he was nothing, that he couldn't do anything without him. He’d always thought that he couldn't make it on his own. For so long he had just said over and over that he couldn't keep going without Jaebum yet Jaebum had always said he could. Jaebum held his hand but Jaebum couldn’t walk for him. He couldn’t run for him, he couldn’t breathe for him. Jinyoung had to do those things on his own.

"Jinyoung, you are enough," Jin said to him, and in those words the culmination of everything Jinyoung had learned throughout his year came crashing down on him… All the doubt, all the fear and all the weakness and doubt that he could do it. With Jin’s words about what Jaebum wanted, it was as if Jinyoung was seeing himself through Jaebum's eyes for the first time, and he realized he was wrong.

Jinyoung realized that he was always wrong about everything. He was always strong enough. That was why he had lived through the darkest moments. That was why he had picked himself up on tour and fought for every word that he said. That was why when he lost BamBam that he fought back against his enemies to stay alive. It was like when he’d lost Sana and he’d gotten up and faced Minho with enough strength to beat him at his own game. He always turned weakness to strength and he always used his fear to drive him to courage.

"You are strong enough," Seokjin spoke to him words of conviction, "you always have been. You always will be. No matter what happens that strength will always be there inside you." And Jinyoung cried more because how long had he gotten it wrong. How long had he put it all on someone else's shoulders.

And Jaebum's love for him was the key to it all because Jaebum saw who he was when he couldn't see it himself. And Seokjin was right. It was never Jaebum, but what Jaebum had always wanted him to know. It was so hard to break the habit of the thoughts he’d lived in. He couldn't just change it but in the moment he was in, those words coming from someone else changed things. He was beginning to believe that it could be a new beginning for him, a moment when he was finally learning to breathe again. The moment he was finding that he alone could decide who he would truly be and that he was the master of his own destiny.

—————

Wind, there was so much wind blowing through the valley that night. Yoongi looked into the air in worry that it might rain. Hyolyn was jogging at a brisk pace and he was following her. Sunmi had tried to stab them with their backs turned, but they had avoided it because she was always predictable. Yoongi took her out quickly then they ran. The danger wasn’t over, he didn't trust Sunmi to tell them the truth so they would have to get back. They were running towards the others before something bad happened.

"Yoongi!" Hyolyn shouted, "do you think all of them followed?" He believed it was a possibility.

"They lost District Two,” Yoongi responded, "they might have."

His face distorted in his usual cold mask, he knew the dangers that their arena held. He knew that they might not make it in time but he wouldn't worry about that, he would only do what he could do. He would run and fight for what he needed to do.

As they ran, he realized that they had been caught in a web they hadn’t seen coming. A knife flew, Yoongi was fast upon seeing it but not fast enough. Hyolyn was thrown off balance by the knife hitting her arm and she tripped towards the ground. Yoongi shot two knives in the direction the other had came from and another at an angle. They were caught in the open while his enemies had cover, but he wasn't going to down because of it. He slid to the ground, dodging another knife that had been thrown towards him, and he threw one of his own in response. He heard clashing. Hyolyn charged another enemy with her axe. It was Jae-yoon. 

They were surrounded, he saw an arrow flying through the air. Both Taeyeon and Zico where there. For anyone else it would have meant they would both die, but Yoongi was different. Yoongi was just getting started, he wiped his eyes and looked up. His eyes were trained, he had enough knifes to make things turn in his favor. His eyes locked into the air, his vision perfected. He threw his knifes and sliced three arrows out of the sky. Another knife launched from his hands and knocked one of Zico's knifes in the air. 

He was quite deadly even in the open, he knew that. His training, the years of pain he’d endured by Yang’s own hand, taught him the strength to survive anything. He was perfected, an assassin, a fighter. Trained to the point of being able to block out weakness. Each knife he threw he was reminded of the blows Yang would land on him, the days he would be battered and broken. He’d endured it all so that he could become something unbeatable. His eyes were his strength, quickness and coordination were taught from long hours of work. With each sighting of something he was the counter attack. 

More arrows flew, he took out each one. More knifes flew he did the same until the barrage stopped. He breathed and watched in all directions. His eyes searching for any movement. He breathed in, the night did nothing to hide things from him. The moon reflected them.

"Is that all you got," Yoongi called out, taunting his enemies, "you want more? Give it to me." Zico was trained too, but not like Yoongi, he’d never become as good as Yoongi was. He smirked as three knifes came into view and he dodged them as if they were nothing. He laughed, his sanity was questionable when he was fighting. No one could stop him. It wasn’t arrogance, it was reality.

He shot knifes towards where the enemies were in the trees. They were cowards but their actions had revealed something of their position. He knew he could infuriate Zico's pride simply by staying in the open and dodging and taking their fire. Taeyeon had stopped firing. He didn’t mind her, he knew she wouldn’t care to fight him, Zico was the one who felt he had something to prove. For years Yang had preferred Yoongi to him, spent more time on Yoongi than him. That drove Zico mad.

"Come out and face me like a man Ji-ho," Yoongi called out. He knew Ji-ho was too much of a coward to accept a challenge but he wanted him thoroughly humiliated in the sight of the public. Anyone who sided with the Capitol sided with the murder of Jungkook as far as he was concerned. 

Zico sent more knives out and Yoongi took them down. His enemy was getting sloppy. Things were going too easy and Yoongi had a sudden realization and it hit him hard. 

Taeyeon wasn’t firing anymore.

It was never about beating them on open turf.

It was all a distraction. 

No rocks had flown out at them, if they had it would have been more difficult to strike them out of the air. Ji-hyun wasn't there. Jae-yoon had run out to meet Hyolyn, but Joo-yeon hadn’t joined and wasn't there.

"Fuck this," Yoongi said and he took off past the trees, more knifes and more arrows came at him. They’d realized he had figured out their ploy. He took them down as he ran and he picked up the pace. He was out of the clearing and back towards the open fields that would lead him to his friends.

He needed to get to the caves fast. His warning would have gone wrong. His friends had probably sent their fighters, both Jaebum and Jackson to stop Jay. They would be vulnerable without them. They’d played right into the enemies hands.

The sound of a cannon echoed through his thoughts. 

He turned around, sliding to a stop as he ran. He realized he had just made a graver error, because Hyolyn hadn't followed him. She’d still been fighting Jae-yoon, the cannon might have been Jae-yoon but she was exposed… He turned back and ran back hoping she hadn't...

Another cannon sounded...

He ran harder and what he found in the clearing was Jae-yoon with Hyolyn's axe in his back and Hyolyn with two of Zico's knives in her chest. He heard a knife sailing in the air and threw one back to take it out. Even in defeat he was...

Invincible...

Too arrogant...

Tears filled his eyes as he looked at his friend, dead by his own failure... Dead because he’d run and she hadn't been able to follow. And others might die as well because he was in the wrong place at the wrong time... He cried out looking to the sky and realizing everything that was going wrong was all on him. He’d been the one to separate from the group first and he’d been too thick skulled to realize what was happening around them.

Everything fractured as he turned to continue to run. They were all split up and in danger, he had played into the enemies hands... They had been out played because he hadn’t seen it coming. He wouldn't lose another one because of his failure. He ran with all his strength...

He ran with everything he had to get to Jin before it fell apart…

—————

Rain...

That was what came next. Pouring rains upon all of them and night hours that wore longer and longer. The rain had come in suddenly and it caused a deeper darkness to settle over them. Seokjin waited. Two cannons had sounded and he saw the way Jinyoung startled and the fear in his eyes. Jin was afraid but he couldn’t show it. He wanted to be stronger for Jinyoung.

He looked up out of the cave and to the night and waited till an answer came, something of help. A parachute blinked and beeped through the night and rain. It was a gift, a miracle. The miracle they needed was in his hands. He opened the container, there was no note nor indication of who had sent it but inside of it was one orange pill. Something he had only heard about, something that would change things for just enough time. He turned to Jinyoung who was nodding off and trying to keep himself awake.

"What is it?" Jinyoung asked. Of course he would be curious about what was in the container. Jin looked at it closer, it could be a fake and a poison sent to make things worse for them. There was no indication that it came from their allies that made him think that it could be a trap. Yang wanted Jinyoung dead, and them rushing into something could be what got them all killed. He couldn't confirm what it was just by looking at it. He would have to weigh the risks.

"I'm not sure," Jin said to buy himself time to think it over.

He was ninety percent convinced that what he held was a starcrest pill, made from the orange petals of the rarest flower. The same kind of flower that had the nectar that was Taeyeon’s token. Anything to do with that flower was rare and coveted. It could help Jinyoung fight again but there was a trade off, it would wear off and leave him more weakened than he was before.

Nothing existed in the Capitol that could just heal a stab wound like his, the ointment they got could help it close and ward off infection but that pain in that area of his back would make it difficult for him to fire his bow. No matter how much he wanted to, he would be hurting through every attempt to do so. It wasn't a cure if it was what he thought it was. It was a bandaid fix, it could mask the pain for around 24 hours, but Jinyoung would begin to feel it again and it would be 10 times worse when it returned. If their allies had sent this, then their need was truly desperate.

Those on the outside could see everything and if they had fought for this as their last resort… What was coming? What couldn't Jin see coming? He was worried, he knew there was a chance they wouldn't all make it out of the fights ahead. He had always known that and he’d made peace with it. Jinyoung mattered most and Jin wondered if he should hide him and accept whatever was coming.

With Jinyoung down, there was little hope the rest of them in the cave could really outlast their enemies. The two cannons sounded, and those blasts hurt him. He saw how Jinyoung winced but it wasn't just Jaebum that Jin was worried about. He worried about Yoongi and Hyolyn. They’d had no contact with them since the watch had gone off the first time. Something must have happened to damage it.

"Jinyoung I can't..." Jin began, he stumbled over his words. This choice that they’d been offered wasn't one he could make. He didn't want to see Jinyoung hurting more because of a choice he made. It could go badly.

"What is it?" Jinyoung asked again, clearly reading that it wasn't nothing. This was where he had to make a choice. Whatever choice he made with this in his hand could change everything... He decided it was best to tell Jinyoung everything he knew.

"If this is what I think it is," Jin said, "then it is a starcrest flower pill made from the flower petals, rare and powerful." He was more convinced the more he looked at it. The color was distinct, something he’d only studied in books but that had been described in detail. The orange color was bright and it had flecks of gold in it. He was sure if there was light that it would catch the light and shine.

"Will it heal me?" Jinyoung asked. Jin wished that was the case. Everything could be simpler if it was.

"No," Jin said, "this is a painkiller, and if you take it you will be without any pain for 24 hours."

"What happens after?” Jinyoung clearly read that there was more to it.

"After 24 hours you will be in much worse pain than before," Jin admitted, "I have heard about it. Apparently people's bodies don't often handle the return of the pain well. Some people make their injuries worse, and in rare cases people die from that pain." He had to reveal everything. He would explain every potential danger. Yes people had died from the pain, it was rare but it had happened. Jin had to make sure that Jinyoung understood that.

"Our allies sent it to us?" Jinyoung asked. There was a fear clearly evident in his eyes. He was putting the pieces together. He could easily weigh the risk vs the potential dangers that they faced.

"Yes and they didn't indicate anything as to why, but you can draw your own conclusions,” Jin responded. He knew that part of what they needed to weigh was how soon Jinyoung needed to take the pill, to handle what they’d seen coming. If he took it immediately and the arena lasted much longer than 24 hours Jinyoung would be down and worse than he was after it’s effects wore off. Things could get really bad and if something had happened to Yoongi, their team would have no one with ranged weapons to help them.

"Could it last for less than 24 hours?" Jinyoung asked, "is that a certain set number." He was asking the right questions.

"It could last for more or less around that amount of time," Jin stated. He definitely wouldn't lie about any of what he knew. The choice was Jinyoung's but Jin would make sure he knew the danger of what it was he would be getting himself into.

"If I take this now..." Jinyoung said, "and this isn't over..." Jin nodded. 

"There is a possibility we could be in here for many days more," Jin affirmed his fears. "There is a possibility this could be the worst decision if we make it now, but our allies sent this. They must have thought we needed it. What do you want to do Jinyoung?" He saw Jinyoung's mind running through the possibility of the choices. As he was, Jin knew he could at least lift his bow and probably fire it somewhat. In 24 hours if the drug wore him down he would be unable to do anything to help their cause. 

"Give it to me," Jinyoung said with determination on his face. Jin nodded, he would let Jinyoung do what it was that he wanted to do.

"You have to take it in water," Jin stated and he went to the backpacks to get water. He brought some back and stuck the pill into the water. It began to dissolve and the water began to foam and glow a pale yellow glow. That confirmed that it was starcrest as Jin had thought. Jinyoung looked at it with alarm but he seemed to want to push past all fear.

"You will need to drink all of this,” Jin said, "every last drop." Jinyoung nodded and Jin handed him the cup. Jinyoung looked at it for a second, this decision was clearly uneasy for him but he brought the cup to his lips and began to drink. The flower petals, the rare gift. He coughed as he fought to drink all of it as Jin had instructed. Jin was sure it was not something that tasted good at all, but Jinyoung didn't stop until the container was empty. He then breathed in and grimaced.

"That was more disgusting than Bam's hangover cure," he said it then his features fell. A sadness filled his eyes after the words he said. He seemed to curl in on himself at the reminder of something. 

"What's wrong?" Jin asked. Jinyoung shook his head tears filled his eyes.

“I can’t talk about it,” he said softly, “it’s just…” He was cut off from his words as his body started to tremble. Jin's eyes widened, he hadn't heard of such a thing happening after taking the flower petals.

"Jinyoung are you okay?" he asked. Jin was scared and he hoped that it didn't hurt him more.

"I feel hot," Jinyoung said as he shook, "is this supposed to happen?" Jinyoung dropped the sleeping bag away from his shoulders as if trying to get away from a heat source. Jin touched his skin and felt that he was right, Jinyoung was getting warm.

"I don't know," Jin said, he didn't know everything about it. He didn’t know how to stop it once it had begun to take effect. He didn’t know enough.

"Jin," Jinyoung said his name, "it's too hot." Jin moved to help him take off his jacket. His body was sweating, he was pale. What had Jin done? He shouldn't have allowed Jinyoung to take it. Was this poison? Was it danger all along?

"Jinyoung breathe," Jin said as the younger’s body tensed more at the feeling that his body was clearly rejecting, "please breathe, you're going to be alright." Jinyoung looked scared and Jin tried to understand what was going on.

"What's happening to him?" Jisoo had awoken from the commotion. She came alongside them to help check on him.

"I don't know," Jin said. He didn’t believe taking the starcrest pill was supposed to go like it was. All he could think was he did something wrong and Jinyoung had been poisoned. He needed to map the symptoms to make a cure but it could be moving too fast for him.

"Jinyoung," Jisoo said, "hold on." She put her hands on his arms, there was a gentleness but still an urgency.

"Breathe," Jin pleaded and Jinyoung fought to listen to him and to breathe as his skin began to go cold. The heat dissipated quickly off Jinyoung.

"Jinyoung," he called his name but the younger's eyes darted every which way. He looked so scared but he could feel that Jinyoung’s body was coming down from it back to a normal temperature. It wasn't like a poison, it was different. He would be just fine once it faded, Jin had to keep believing that. "You're good. It’s going to be okay, it’s going to be okay.” He wanted to comfort him and chase his fears away.

The shaking stopped as Jinyoung began to relax his body. He was able to take deeper breaths. Jin breathed a sigh of relief, though he knew if he ever saw another starcrest pill he’d throw it out. It did work fast and Jinyoung would be ready to go soon. Jin put a hand against his forehead and Jinyoung’s eyes slipped shut.

"What did you give him?" Jisoo asked him. 

"Flower petals," Jin responded, he didn’t want to say it. He’d felt like he’d made the wrong decision in giving it to Jinyoung.

"Starcrest?" Jisoo asked. Jin nodded surprised she had figured it out. Jinyoung's head leaned back as his eyes closed. Jin wondered how long he was going to be out. "He'll come around soon, everyone has tough experiences with that drug at first." Jisoo gave him the answer.

"You know it?" Jin asked. He was surprised that she seemed to have an understanding of it. She seemed calm as she watched Jinyoung settle into sleep. She reached and pulled his sleeping back back around his shoulders.

"Yes," Jisoo responded to his question, "I've been on it before, in my games."

"What?" Jin was surprised, he hadn't realized that it had been used in the arena before. Much less that Jisoo had been the one to use it.

"I had two pills," she said, "it was the last year that it was used before they banned it. I am surprised to see it again since they stopped allowing it in the games, so how did you get some?” She used Jinyoung’s sleeping bag to wipe the sweat from his brow.

“Parachute. Wait, why did they ban it?" Jin asked. She looked at him sadly.

"Because I used two pills, two days in a row to keep going,” she responded, "When I was brought out of the games my body was losing strength because of it. I was so close to dying, and I was told that it took an intense emergency procedure to save me. It's because I used two doses, no one had ever done that before.” She was so small he couldn’t imagine how badly it had affected her body.

"How did you get it?" he asked. It was rare and expensive.

"My mentors sent it to me," Jisoo said, “my leg had gotten mauled by a mutt and it was bad but I had other advantages that year. Joon was against it but Sung-Kwang thought it was the only way to get me through.” Jin knew Sung-Kwang, he wasn’t as kind as Joon was. Jin had been glad when he heard Joon was to be one of their allies though it was sad he was put back in the arena at all.

"We should have consulted you before we used it,” Jin said sadly. She could have offered more insight on how it worked.

"I would have said take it," she stated. "In the situation we are in, we need Jinyoung to be able to fight.” Jin sighed, he hated that things had gotten desperate enough that he knew she might be right. He hated that they had no other choice and he hated how long each day was. None of them had wanted to go through it again and none of the deserved to be there. It was horrible, how fate had worked to put death before them again.

"Watch out!" Jisoo suddenly shouted and she tackled Jin down to the ground. A rock struck the back wall, right in the path where his head had been. Jisoo was up fast and she drew her sword as she rushed to meet someone else with the same weapon. Metal clashed and Jin recognized Joo-yeon and his eyes followed to the edge of the mountain, where Ji-hyun stood with rocks. Jin grabbed Jinyoung's bow and pulled an arrow out. He notched it fast to fire at his enemies. It didn't get anywhere near Ji-hyun and the man smirked.

"You think you can take me down when you can't even use that?" Ji-hyun was circling his sling again. Jin's bag was too far away from him and he had to get to it somehow. He had things that could help them but he was trapped. He was able to dodge the next rock that Ji-hyun threw and he took his chance to rush to his bags, he left the bow behind. He moved fast and reached his bag. Just as he got a hand around it a rock struck his chest hard. His breath was knocked out of him. Pain shot through his whole body as he fell back against the stone floor of the cave. 

He was shaking, stunned by how much pain he felt in his body. He looked to see the man was wasting no time, he slung another rock into his sling. It was ready to fly at them. He needed to get up and fight back. He didn’t realize the next rock wasn’t meant for him. Jin cried out for Jisoo to move but he was too late. She was struck by the rock and in the next instant Joo-yeon stabbed her through. Jin cried out, his eyes widened in shock of what he was seeing. Jisoo looked into the eyes of the person who stabbed her, and Jin saw she wasn't afraid.

"JISOO!" He shouted. He’d been too late. She was down. Joo-yeon pulled his blade from her and turned to Jinyoung who was lying defenseless. Jin had to do something. He couldn't let anything happen to Jinyoung. He wouldn't let it happen. Everything people did was a choice, he had to make one. He breathed heavy and reached for Jisoo's sword that had fallen. She was still alive, her eyes trained on him with tears in them. Her eyes moved to Ji-hyun and Jin looked back to see him looking at her. 

"I'm sorry Soo-yah," Ji-hyun said and she breathed heavy looking to him. And Jin remembered, they all had known each other a long time. He, like all of them, had known the little girl with no hope in her eyes. Jin knew every single victor had cared for her and sought to watch over her. Ji-hyun had been one of those tributes. He wasn’t heartless, and he’d felt what he had just done. Ji-hyun was now the one to strike her out and Joo-yeon... Jin had to fight Joo-yeon.

"We all make choices," Jisoo spoke even though she lay bleeding and dying, "don't chose this..." Jin watched as Ji-hyun's face soften but he lifted his sling to begin spinning it again. He had already chosen his side and because of that their lives didn't matter to him anymore. Jin struggled to stand, the sword in his hand. He would stop Joo-yeon and save Jinyoung.

Another rock struck Jin in the back, he cried out as he stumbled down. The pain was immense, he felt his body breaking down from the pressure of the blows. Joo-yeon turned to him to finish him off. Ji-hyun wasn't aiming to kill them, he was letting the other guy do that, but Jin knew that he knew he bore the blame to all of it. Jin struggled, trying to stand again. He heard the sling moving through the air.

"Don't chose this..." Jisoo whispered again. Her eyes closed, her hand curled. Her end came and when the cannon's blast sounded, Jin felt like it had ripped through his body more than the rocks had. He’d failed to protect her, he’d failed to protect all of them.

"Soo-yah," Ji-hyun said her name again. But her light was out and her end had come. She was never going to awaken again.

Jin stood up, he had to keep fighting. There was no giving up while he could still breathe. He had to do it because Jinyoung needed him. He lifted the sword even though his whole body was screaming in pain from all sides. Ji-hyun had done damage, bad damage. Jin raised his sword and he knew he’d lost. Joo-yeon charged but didn't manage to make it to him. An arrow went through his body.

Jin's eyes widened and he knew... 

Joo-yeon stumbled forward as he looked down, another arrow went through him... And another...

Jinyoung stood up and aimed for Ji-hyun, anger in his eyes. Ji-hyun ran and was was out of their sight fast and out of reach. A cannon sounded for Joo-yeon. Jinyoung looked like he was about to go after Ji-hyun when Jin stumbled down to his knees. Breathing hurt. It all hurt so much, he’d been hit too hard. They’d won in that Jinyoung had survived but Jin realized it was unlikely that he would. Jinyoung was at his side quickly.

"What happened?" Jinyoung said with tears in his eyes. Jin could feel the damage with every breath he tired to breathe. He had to keep breathing. Namjoon had told him he had to survive and make it back home. There were people he loved that were counting on him to return. His parents and the kids at the orphanage but he knew he couldn’t hold on forever.

"They found us," Jin said as he looked to Jisoo. "She saved my life." He tried to keep breathing.

"Jin you're hurt," Jinyoung said frantically. 

"She saved my life," Jin said again, he slumped his head forward to Jinyoung's shoulder and let the pain claim him. It went black.

—————

_I finally saved someone..._

_I finally did something to save someone..._

_But was it in time?_

Jinyoung's thoughts were frantic, as everything that happened exploded on the inside of him. He had tried so hard to avoid killing, to avoid fighting. He’d wanted for so long to save his friends and not to lose them again. He thought it was only Jaebum he cared for when he’d entered the arena, but he had Jin, he couldn’t lose him. He had fought so long not to be the person the Capitol wanted him to be but he’d had to. It was the cost of victory. The cost of their fight. He’d gone so long without the guilt of having taken a life, but that was gone.

Jinyoung threw up at the sight of the man he had killed, his body shook from the disgust he felt at himself. He shook and cried and tried so hard to pick himself up. He had to help Jin. He had done what he needed to do, but reality sunk into his veins so painfully. He couldn’t have ever been prepared for how it would feel.

Jinyoung sobbed and cried and put his arms around Jin hoping the elder was okay, he had to help him and find a way to fix it. He moved to put Jin on top of one of the sleeping bags and cried over his body. He was still breathing but it sounded wrong. Jinyoung had to wake him up, he had to do something. He cried and cried and wished someone could take the bodies of Jisoo and Joo-yeon far away.

And that was how Yoongi found them both, broken and splintered apart. He found Seokjin and Jinyoung much worse off than he ever could have imagined.

—————

Cannons...

Jaebum had counted four cannon blasts since him and Jackson had left the caves. His heart skipped a beat each and every single time one of them sounded. His body filled with fear at that sound and what it meant. Four people within the arena had died since they left. He worried about the four they’d left in the caves. Not defenseless but close to it. Jaebum and Jackson had been led in a roundabout chase for nothing it seemed, Jay had slipped away from them. 

"Jinyoung will be fine," Jackson reassured as they started to head back but the night was dark and he was sure they were too far to the west. By the time he got back he knew the sun would be rising. They had really messed up by leaving the caves. It became clear as they chased after Jay that he’d wanted to draw them off and lead them far from where the others were.

"I'm not worried about just him," Jaebum responded. He was bitter about Jackson's fake argument earlier in the afternoon. He really did care about the other victors, even if he loved Jinyoung he’d entered the games with a desire to see their whole team make it. Everyone was willing to die for the cause but he didn’t want to see it happen.

"I know that—" Jackson responded.

"Then why do you keep saying it like that," Jaebum cut him off. 

"Why is it a problem?” Jackson said with a lower voice, he sounded confused, "you and Jinyoung obviously have each other's backs more than everyone else's." The way he said it made Jaebum’s blood boil. 

"That's a shit attitude to have," Jaebum said, “we're from the same district, and we're really close, of course we'll have each other's backs." He knew it was a bit more than that but he hadn’t even talked to Jinyoung about how he felt. He wasn’t going to talk to Jackson about it.

"Yeah and there is totally nothing more between you than, 'we're from the same district,'" Jackson mimicked his vocal tone with those last few words. Jaebum glared at him but Jackson continued. "Jinyoung is way more than that to you and you know it. The way you two look at each other is like you're each other's whole world. Like the world would stop spinning if you couldn’t be in each other’s lives.”

"Enough," Jaebum said, "we're not talking about this." He was losing patience with Jackson.

"Do people say goodbye to people in district 12 by connecting foreheads?" Jackson asked, “is that like a normal cultural thing there?” Jaebum pushed him and Jackson laughed at him. Jaebum walked forward faster as if to leave him behind. 

“Wait Jaebummie," Jackson called out in a higher pitched voice, "I want to put my forehead against yours too!" Jaebum dodged Jackson trying to grab him and pushed the other away from him again.

"Jackson!" Jaebum said angrily, "back off!" He knew Jackson was just teasing him but it made him angry.

"Wae Jaebummie!" Jackson whined, "I just want to be your close friend too!" He was taking his teasing too far and Jaebum was irritated with it.

"Jackson," he said through his teeth, "if you don't stop I'll kill you." He did have a temper he’d learned to keep under control for the most part. Jackson had always had a knack for nearly bringing it out. 

"What would you tell the others!" Jackson said with mock shock. He knew it was in no danger from Jaebum.

"I'd tell them you were eaten by mutts because your slow ass couldn't out run them," Jaebum declared, "they'd believe me too because your short legs couldn’t keep up if we had to run.” Jackson put his hand on his chest in mock offense.

“I know Jinyoungie believes everything you say," Jackson declared loudly, “but that one hurt Jaebummie!” He was too loud.

"Jackson," Jaebum declared, "you're going to get us both killed!" Someone was going to hear them or something and then they’d be running for their lives again. He hope there were no giant mosquito mutt bugs around them.

"What there's no one for miles here," Jackson declared.

"Yeah but there are mutts," Jaebum responded, "and potentially three enemy ranged fighters running around and I want to make it back in one piece!” He’d promised Jinyoung that he would make it back and he intended to keep his promise. Their surroundings were becoming more familiar with him which helped him feel at peace with the idea that they were headed in the right direction.

"We're close to the center," Jackson pointed out, "do you think there is still cool stuff there?" The game they were in was different than most games, the careers probably weren’t holding the center like they would in most games involving inexperienced tributes.

"I don't want to go there," Jaebum stated, "even if there is 'cool stuff.' We've been gone too long and we need to get back to make sure the others are okay.” 

"Yeah, I know, Jinyoung's waiting for you," Jackson said, Jaebum sighed. He really did hope Jinyoung was alright and still safe. He knew how dangerous everything was around them and there was no way they could be certain that the caves were safe from danger.

“Just think about it," Jackson said, "this games was not like the others, the careers wouldn't be working to 'protect the middle,' because every team can survive with what they grabbed at the beginning. So they would leave it unguarded try to find and kill all of us!" It was exactly what Jaebum thought. The center probably was unprotected and probably safe to raid again. He wasn’t sure that there was much good left there but there could be no harm in going back to see other than how much time they’d already spent away.

“That doesn’t change the fact that we’ve been gone too long,” Jaebum said.

"Yeah but there was so much stuff there," Jackson stated, "there might be a tons of it still just sitting there unguarded! We could loot it and then we would at least have something to show for the long and boring adventure we just went on." He had to admit it could be worth it, especially if they found food. They would have to wait almost two full days for their chance to break out. 

"Okay," Jaebum said, "since we're close we'll check it out but at any sign of trouble we are leaving, even if you see something you want." Jackson grinned so huge that Jaebum was sure he was going to regret his decision. They made the turn towards the center where the cornucopia would be. When they arrived, as Jackson had said, no one was around and there happened to be a ton of backpacks still around it.

"Jackpot," Jackson said as he ran towards the backpacks and started picking them up. He would likely try to carry all of them and Jaebum just sighed in response. He would try to pick up a couple, but it was dangerous to weigh themselves down when they still had a long way to go. They’d been out all night and it was tiring.

"This is too easy," Jaebum stated. He hated when things were easy. In the arena nothing was supposed to be easy. As soon as things started going well the game makers would intervene to throw a wrench in it. 

"Well JB, sometimes things are easy,” Jackson reassured him. Jaebum didn’t share the other boy’s optimism. He’d watched the games too long to think easy was something they would ever be.

"It feels off," Jaebum stated, "don't take too much, we want to be able to get back without incident."

"Okay," Jackson said and he settled on two backpacks. Jaebum picked up one. That was when Jaebum heard the sounds of growling and running... Just as he thought the game makers wanted to make things difficult for them.

"Shit," Jaebum said, “I hear mutts." Jackson looked and listened.

"What kind?" Jackson asked.

"Who cares," Jaebum stated, "run!" He started heading towards the trees, Jackson right behind him. The growling was sickening and he glanced back to see about 10 mutts running after them. The had to get to the trees to climb and get away from them.

"What if they can climb?" Jackson asked, panting. He could read what Jaebum was thinking about what they needed to do.

"Then we're out of options," Jaebum stated.

"We can always take some mutt heads," Jackson responded. He clearly wanted to fight. Jaebum hadn't even considered that as an option. They did have weapons and they were both skilled with them.

"Should we?" he questioned. Jackson smirked.

—————

Jinyoung didn't have time to panic. Yoongi had started a fire first and then he had gone out to get Joon to come back after checking that Jin was still breathing. He had told Jinyoung to search the bags for medicines of any kind and to lay them out so he could see them. Jinyoung opened every single bag with panic overflowing in his body. 

He had searched Jin’s pack and found that the older boy had collected a variety of plants however nothing was labeled. Jinyoung wouldn't be able to tell poison from medicine. He then got to Jaebum's backpack and found a container for something he knew had been sent into the arena for them. He opened the container and believed it to be medicine.

Jinyoung pulled it out of the backpack and something in the bag caught his eye. There was a white flash of paper. He reached in to pull it out and found that it was an envelope. There was nothing printed on the outside that disclosed its purpose, having only his name and “three days” written on the surface. From the outside of it he could feel that there was some sort of object inside. He wondered why Jaebum hadn't told him about it or given him any indication that there was something for him. The handwriting didn’t look like Jaebum’s. He turned it over to the back, he knew it had to be something important and they were three days into the games. It was possible Jaebum had just forgotten about it.

He opened the envelope and pulled out the contents. In his hands was a note and a necklace. The necklaces was a chain holding a jade triangle, the appearance of it was interesting to Jinyoung. It looked too plain to be something from the Capitol yet it still looked nice, like something he knew he’d never see in his district. He opened the note in hopes to understand what it was he was holding in his hands.

_In your darkest hour, this will turn the tide. Wear it._

It was a short message, and Jinyoung saw that once again it wasn’t in Jaebum’s handwriting. There was no indication of where it came from or what a necklace with a jade snippet could do to change their fortunes. He didn't understand what use it could have, but he didn't have time to think it over. He put it on in hopes that whatever it was meant for he could fulfill by wearing it as the note instructed. He stuffed the note and envelope back into Jaebum's backpack, grabbed the container, and went back to Jin's side.

Yoongi had stripped off Jin's jacket and shirt so that they could see the damage done. There was bad bruising on his chest and back. His breathing sounded pained, and Jinyoung could hear each breath he took as if it was a labor. He didn’t know how bad it was or how to address what he was seeing.

"We need him awake," Yoongi said. Jinyoung hadn’t noticed that he had returned from his search, but he saw that Yoongi had successfully found Joon and brought him back as well. Jinyoung was glad that the older tribute was safe. He nodded and worked to try and wake Jin up but he didn't know how. Yoongi stepped in and helped, Jinyoung didn’t understand what he did but it work. Jin woke up wincing and looked to be in bad pain.

"You can't die on us," Yoongi said sternly to him. Jin just looked at them, they knew he knew more about how bad the damage was. He had more medical experience and could feel what was going on inside his own body. Jinyoung wondered if it was okay for him even to talk in the condition he was in. Jinyoung opened the container he had found in Jaebum’s backpack and put the cream all over the bruise on the front then Yoongi helped turn him to do the same on his back. He had no idea what to do or if the cream would do anything to help.

"Joon we may need your support on this one," Yoongi said. Jinyoung wondered what it was that Joon could do in the situation they were in.

"What kind of support?” Joon asked. 

"If we lose him," Yoongi said, "we will revive him, however long it takes we have to keep him alive.” Jinyoung could tell how much Yoongi cared about Jin. Jin was his mentor, he was someone who had helped Yoongi through his darkest times. Jinyoung understood what that was like.

"So you want a defibrillator or some sort?” Joon stated, “because that's not something I can rig up on the go, I have wires and metal but I don't have a power source." Yoongi took off his watch and handed it to the man, Jinyoung realized what it was he was sacrificing. Jinyoung knew what the two watches meant to Yoongi. Jinyoung took his off as well and handed it over. Yoongi looked at him and nodded. Jungkook, perhaps that amazing child could save them once again.

Jin reached out and grabbed Jinyoung's hand. Jinyoung looked at him and realized what he was doing, he was trying to tell them what was wrong. Jinyoung pulled his hand to his side to rest on his ribs where he was breathing heavily. Jinyoung’s hand rested near the bruising. Jinyoung's eyes widened as he understood what Jin was trying to say.

"He's got broken ribs," Jinyoung stated.

"Do you think it got to his lungs?" Yoongi asked. Jinyoung had no idea how to tell. He remembered overhearing his father talk about punctured lungs in a mining case. He shook his head no as he tried to go over what he remembered his father say.

"He would be struggling to even take in oxygen if that was the case,” Jinyoung stated, "this is pain. If it had hit is lungs, his skin would be turning blue because of lack of oxygen.” He knew that much. The situation was desperate, there could be a number of things they didn't see but they could at least rule that one out. They had to figure out what was wrong so they could fix it.

"Internal bleeding could be the problem," Yoongi said. 

"The hits are in a location where that is unlikely," Jinyoung said wracking his brain for everything he had ever heard his father say. Mining accidents were commonplace in 12, and the few months his father had resumed his practice he’d seen a lot of them. Patients had been brought to their home a couple times and Jinyoung never liked seeing people in bad shape. He left to Jaebum’s when it happened and in the situation they faced he wished he was more like Youngjae. He wished he could pick up and help his father as Youngjae always had.

"Could it still happen?" Yoongi asked. Jinyoung really didn’t know anything. 

"Yes," Jinyoung stated, "I think—" Yoongi kicked a nearby backpack into the wall. Jinyoung could tell he was frustrated and scared and trying to channel that into something useful. Jinyoung winced and Jin's eyes rolled into the back of his head from the pain, like he was about to pass out again. 

"No," Jinyoung said pulling at his head to lift it up, “you can't fall asleep Jin, you can't."

"Jinyoung," Jin finally spoke some words, "bring my backpack to me.” Jinyoung nodded and he wen to get the backpack. He opened it for Jin and Jin pointed to a plant inside. Jinyoung pulled it out wondering if it could help them and if Jin knew what to do. He lifted it out of the backpack and Jin reached for it. Yoongi grabbed it from Jinyoung’s hands and threw it into the fire he had started earlier. There was anger on his face as he looked at Jin.

"You're not giving up on us!" Yoongi shouted, "we're not giving up on you!” And Jinyoung realized that the plant he had almost given Jin was poison. Jin had just told them that he felt like he was going to die, and tried to take a way out. Jin really thought that there was no way that he could come back from the injuries he sustained. Jinyoung felt like couldn't breathe...

"Jin," Jinyoung said leaning over him, "no." He couldn’t lose him, not after Jin had helped him so much. He’d lost Jungkook, Sana, Sandara and Jisoo but he wasn’t going to lose Jin.

"There could be..." Jin fought to speak through pained breaths, "a lot.. more... wrong than... you can fix." He struggled for each word but he spoke.

"You can't leave us," Jinyoung said. He couldn’t keep himself from crying at the desperate situation in front of them. “Please don’t… We'll fight this battle for you but you can't give up." He saw tears in the elders eyes and Jinyoung knew what it was like to want to give up. But Jin had just taught him so much about himself and if he was strong like Jin said, he’d be strong enough to win the fight for Jin’s life.

"I'm going to save you," Jinyoung said. He had to.

"Namjoon-ah!" Yoongi shouted throwing something at the wall. He was calling to the outside, to help from those who were fighting for them amongst the sponsors. Jinyoung looked down at the necklace he wore. If this was their darkest hour how could something like the necklace he wore really help them. If this was their most desperate moment, why was he given a necklace and not a cure? Why did everything he did mean nothing? He had killed and it would all be for nothing if they couldn’t save Jin.

"Jin," he said his name and placed his hand over the elders, "please, what can we do..." And he saw something in the elders eyes he had never wanted to see there, a hopelessness. A doubt, fear... Someone so strong had so quickly found himself to be someone unable to go forward. Jinyoung hated what it was he was seeing. There was no answer to his question, nothing Jin could give them.

Jinyoung looked up and looked up towards the roof of the cave and he spotted it, a camera. With tears streaming down his face he started into the eyes of a nation. What they saw was a boy begging for help, a boy with the last glimmer of hope. He hoped that someone would hear him crying. That someone would have compassion on him.

Jin lost consciousness again and Jinyoung's eyes held steady on those of a people who he knew were watching them. If dark had fallen there maybe no one was listening but he was begging anyone who could see. After all he had lost he would hold on to the moment he was in, and hold his friend together long enough for help to come. He was crying out of help silently, hoping that someone would hear him.

He couldn't see the other side, he couldn't see the people weep. He couldn't see the way they responded to him and the way they felt everything with him. But in the districts there were people who all had resolved themselves to stand together. In districts three, four and five the people read his plea.

—————

"Let's kick some mutt ass!" Jackson declared as Jaebum turned around to fight, his axe strong in his hands. Jackson had his sword raised. The creatures that were running at them were hideous, like dead rodents that were much larger than they should be. "Not pretty at all." Jackson said as he saw them. Jaebum hoped they wouldn’t be difficult to cut through. There weren’t too many but they could be fast.

"Let's do this," Jaebum said.

Jackson charged and stabbed through one of the mutts, Jaebum had his back and chopped at another which fell back upon getting hit. They moved together, watching each other as they fought their way through the pack. Jaebum smirked as Jackson cheered upon taking one down. They didn’t go down easy yet they were managing to thin the numbers. Jaebum groaned as his arm got scratched as he dodged a clawed swipe, but all together the battle was moving in their favor. Jackson was as fast and skilled with a sword as everyone had said and Jaebum was able to beat them back by brute strength.

"This is the most fun I have had here," Jackson declared as he stabbed into another decaying mutt and it fell with a shriek. 

"How could you find this fun?" Jaebum asked as he drove his axe into one’s oversized skull and kicked another rat-like abomination in the face. "These things are disgusting." Jackson dispatched two more. Their blood was green, it was horrible and Jaebum would be happy when they were out of the situation.

"Fun is winning," Jackson stated, "and we are winning!" Jaebum almost laughed at him or with him, he couldn’t tell anymore. Jackson was right, they were winning and pretty soon the remaining mutts had turned tail and were running from them. They were standing with the carnage of the rest around them. Jaebum was tired and relieved from the fight.

"Well," Jackson stated, "that was a rush." Jaebum pushed him and Jackson stumbled with a laugh. 

—————

The clock was ticking and Jin had passed out three more times as the sun was beginning to rise. Jinyoung hadn't stopped crying for his friend. Jinyoung hadn't stopped pleading with the elder to make it and pleading with the nation to hear him. Yoongi was going insane and Joon had taken apart Yoongi's watch to create an odd shaped device that was meant to help them keep Jin alive. Jinyoung held Jin’s hand tight and leaned his face against it as he cried. He remembered the way Jungkook had spoken of Jin and what Jin had meant to the small boy. 

When Jaebum and Jackson had arrived back at the cave they hadn't expected things to be as bad as they were. They had heard the cannons but they had put it out of their minds to try and hope for the best. Jinyoung was so far in his tears and his loss that he didn't even respond to Jaebum when Jaebum tried to comfort him. Jin was looking weaker and weaker as more time passed.

No one had any answers to how much longer he could hold on. No one had answers as to how they could truly save him, because no one could see what was actually wrong beneath the surface. Jinyoung just wanted to hold on to him. 

As the sun peeked over the mountains and the day began to dawn before them his heart stopped beating. Joon stepped in. The device he had made successfully restarted Jin's heart and the district 5 tributes breathed again. Yoongi had been correct about what needed to be done, and it hadn't taken both their watches just his. Joon handed Jinyoung back the watch but Jinyoung put it on Jin's wrist. A comfort, something they both understood. A touch from someone they both loved and missed.

"You're not leaving us," Jinyoung said to him as the morning light reached their caves. He believed their darkest hour had to end in light, because at the end of the night the day always dawned anew. Jin squeezed his hand, they both had formed a connection over the days they had known each other. Jin had taught him so much and Jinyoung hoped in some small way he had impacted Jin the same. 

He hoped that somewhere out there, someone could hear them. He listened for he hoped that soon a parachute would come for them with an answer.

—————

Namjoon was on his knees before Yang, before JYP... He hadn't known how this would lead to such a moment. To a moment where he willingly postured himself before someone he hated. He knew Yoongi had done so many times but he’d never had to. Yang had always left him alone and taken Jin and Yoongi instead of him. In Namjoon’s hands was their answer, the medicine that his friends needed. It had cost one district everything that they had. It had cost people everything to get the money to him to pay for it. 

The sponsors wouldn't move because Yang had ordered them not to interfere in the life or death situation that they could all see. There was no hope until he had been contacted from three district leaders, and District 1 in the end had paid for what was needed. District 1 had stopped the poorer districts from impoverishing themselves to purchase it. District 1 had bought the cure even though the cost was so high. It had been placed in Namjoon's hands, but Yang was unmoving and unyielding. No one could send anything into the arena without Yang’s approval, that was what Namjoon was told over and over when he tried. The result was that Namjoon had begged his audience, Namjoon begged with all he had to see the man who had enslaved them all. He wouldn't give up with Jin’s life on the line.

"If you don't do this now," JYP spoke for him, and stood on his side, "that boy will die a martyr and you know it. Four districts have all risen up and asked for this mercy. It is dangerous to refuse them when things are so volatile.” The way JYP phrased it, Namjoon wasn’t sure if Yang could continue to refuse them but he knew the man had a heart of stone. He had no love or mercy in him. He didn’t care for Jin’s life, no matter how much Jin had given to Yang of himself.

"He'll die anyways," Yang stated, "what difference does it make if it’s here or near the games end. Jinyoung killed, yet he's still their hero. Everything you promised hasn’t come to pass.” Those words were directed at JYP and JYP was unphased.

“You know what needs to happen here," JYP said, "Jinyoung will turn on his allies before this all ends, you will lose nothing by making this gesture. The game will continue on and those will decide how things turn out. But if you don't extend a hand of mercy now, things will surely get worse even when it ends." 

Namjoon stayed still. Namjoon knew time wasn't on his side, he had to get what was in his hands to the arena and he had to get it there as soon as he could but everything depended on Yang. Everything was on what the President would allow and if he wouldn't allow this then Jin wouldn't make it. Namjoon couldn't watch that happen. That was why he wouldn’t get up off the ground until Yang showed mercy.

"All your promises, Park, haven't come to pass," Yang stated those words again and leveled a stare at the game maker.

"They have," JYP stated, "I told you Jinyoung would kill and now that he has begun he won't stop. This games is symbolic, you know that. Every single thing you allow matters. You know exactly what will happen, you know where this leads. Once the people want someone saved if you don't listen they will retaliate. We’ve had enough riots to remind you that the tide has been turning against you for a long time. You don’t want that, you need to pacify them here and now. Lull them into a sense of complacency.”

Namjoon wondered who would die for the defiance he showed. It was likely someone in District 1 for even making his plea possible. If someone needed to volunteer to die for Jin and to take his place then Namjoon would do it, but it wouldn't save Jin to offer himself like that. Yang would mock him for it. He knew what would happen so he stayed silent. It all depended on what JYP had said. They had no other way to argue for what they wanted.

"Sir this was District 1," JYP spoke again, "this was your closest friends. They know what needs to happen here and that’s why they’ve made this move. You know that they’re right.” Namjoon's heart pounded as he held himself strong, he couldn't cry in front of his enemy, he wouldn't breakdown. He was in the presence of the most powerful man in Panem and the one who held the country under his thumb since before Namjoon was born.

He couldn't show weakness. He couldn't show anything but desperation. He needed to save his mentor, the one who had volunteered in his place. It should have been him, but the demoralization of begging before his enemy... He would rather be kneeling before Yang than have Jin in his place. He loved Jin, he’d loved him for a long time. He’d seen what Yang had done to Jin and how he’d broken him down, now Yang held Jin’s life in his hands. Namjoon prayed that the man’s heart would be moved.

He believed that Yang would relent, that Yang would allow the medicine to go in. He had to believe that, because if he didn't believe it he would never be able to beg before him. He would never be able to do it. Even as he did the fire inside him stoked stronger, he wanted Yang dead. He waited for every second feeling like a crushing eternity till Yang lifted his hand and spoke words that would echo with Namjoon for the rest of his life.

"I will show mercy," he said.

—————

The winds were colder each moment that passed. The sun brought no warmth to them in their shelter. It was the place where it had all gone wrong and eventually they would have to leave it behind. No one slept that night, no one slowed down on their attempts to keep Jin alive. No one let go for a moment. They couldn't give up because Jinyoung wouldn't give up for any reason.

"Jinyoung-ah" Jin whispered his name. Jinyoung looked to him, his grip on his hand ever present, "don't cry anymore." Jinyoung's eyes wilted as his face softened. Every breath Jin breathed was pain, if he fought to speak Jinyoung would listen. He wiped the tears from his eyes. "Jinyoung-ah, can you sing to me?" Jinyoung held in the tears, held in the fear. Held in everything but hope. 

Hope was all they had. 

Hope was all they were.

They had nothing but hope. So Jinyoung would only be hope, he would live each second in hope. Things could change and things would change. They fought together not only for the life in front of them but they fought within the view of the nation for every life that was in pain. He sang the song that Sandara had taught them, when they were all together. He sang as Jin had asked him to. Though the lyrics didn't sound happy, he knew this song was hope to a people out there. It would be hope to them, when it finished he sang the lullaby his mother had taught him. And as the song ended their hope came true.

A beeping in the sunlight, a white parachute moved through the sky on the wind towards them. Yoongi was the one who reached up to grab it, his eyes raw from the lack of sleep. He opened it up and the wind caught a flurry of flower petals from around the container inside. They were white and had been surrounding the item that came because they didn’t give up.

"It says," Yoongi read the note, "from District's 1, 3, 4 and 5. He should drink it and it will save him." And when he opened it up a container with some liquid was all they had. Jaebum was at Jinyoung's side to help him hold Jin up and they all worked together to get him to drink it. It didn't seem like anything had happened for the first hour. Jackson and Joon had both fallen to sleep waiting but Jinyoung couldn’t sleep until he knew that Jin was okay. 

Color slowly began to return to Jin's skin. He drifted off to sleep and they allowed their friend to sleep in the knowledge that he would be okay. Only then did Jinyoung's hand reach for Jaebum's. And Jinyoung finally leaned on him, seeking warmth and rest in arms he knew well. Their hope hadn't been for nothing, because Jinyoung could breathe easy in the knowledge he didn't lose another friend. Jin was going to live. Jin was alive, and his life was a miracle of hope.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was such a challenge to work on. So much happens, congratulations for getting through it.
> 
> We lost some heroes in the fight but there's more to come.
> 
> The next chapter is called "A Shift In the Game," please look forward to it.
> 
> Thanks to all who have commented, please comment and let me know what you think. <3


	19. A Shift In the Game

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jinyoung faces the consequences for his choices while his allies make plans to put an end to their time in the arena.

Yoongi wanted Yang dead.

More than ever, hatred shook in his bones for the man who had affected his life in so many ways. He watched as Jinyoung pleaded, he was relieved as the answer came and at peace when Jin started to make a turnaround. The day dawned and their group began to rest. He took first watch and looked out into the valley below.

The morning was cold, very cold. It was as if the game makers had decided to flip the climate on them and they wouldn’t be prepared for it. Yoongi drew lines in the dirt at his feet between the rocks with his knifes.

He’d lived a life wondering what it would feel like to sink one of his knives into their President. Yang had set his eyes on Yoongi when he was so young, he didn’t remember much else before Yang had ripped him apart. He’d wanted to be better than the person that Yang shaped him into. He was trained to fight, trained to kill, and Yoongi saw that Yang had wanted to make Yoongi like him. He hated the man for it. 

He hated Yang for the arena he made. It didn’t surprise him when the quarter quell announcement came and he knew that he would be one of the ones sent in. He prepared for it each day, prepared to fight. He’d expected Yang to leave him alone when he was brought to the Capitol once again as a tribute, but the man hadn’t. He’d called Yoongi before him again and, like always, he beat Yoongi for his defiance, for his weakness and his insolence. Yoongi hadn’t cared. He hadn’t resisted, he never did.

Instead he’d mapped out the throne room in his mind. He’d done it so many times. He was planning how he would kill Yang. The man was physically stronger than he was. Despite his age, his strength was too much for Yoongi to take if he let Yang make the first move. He had always known Yang couldn’t expect it.

He wondered if after the plan he had made with his friends succeeded—because he was determined to make sure it succeeded—if it would be the right decision for him to go with them. If he stayed behind and bided his time, then he’d be able to sneak back into the Capitol and take out Yang himself. The others wouldn’t like it if he stayed, but they didn’t need to know his plans. They wouldn’t understand because they didn’t know what he’d been through.

He had to kill Yang himself. It’s what the man deserved for the atrocities he had committed. It was what he deserved for taking the life of Jungkook. 

Yoongi would never forget the small boy. As he looked up and the snow began to fall he remembered him. He remembered their times running around the forest of district 5 together. He remembered the way he couldn’t shake the young boy as his shadow. Jungkook looked up to him even when Yoongi told him that he shouldn’t. Yoongi never felt like there was anything good left in him after the life he’d led and the things he’d done. Jungkook never looked at him like he was evil or broken. Yoongi didn’t know if Jungkook realized how much of an impact he’d had on Yoongi’s life. Having someone who wasn’t afraid of him. That changed him.

Of course Yang wanted to take Jungkook away. Yang saw all of Yoongi’s friends as weakness. He’d always tried to drive Yoongi and his friends apart. He’d done it when he’d taken Yoongi away from them and for two years had separated all of them. But their bonds weren’t broken. Yoongi looked back to where Jin rested alive. He would make sure that Jin got out before he took his chance to leave them.

He didn’t belong with them. He was better off on his own. After all that happened he would take his chance and do what he needed to do. He looked back up towards the sky. First, he needed to finish the mission in front of him. Then he would start a new one.

—————

A chill went through his body, Jinyoung awoke to the feeling of breathing icy cold air, he felt something had changed as it was much colder than before. He shifted in familiar arms that gripped him close as they always had. He moved closer to the warmth that Jaebum offered, it seemed like the weather had shifted as they slept. He was just happy he had Jaebum to hold onto him. He listened closely to the heavy rise and fall of Jaebum’s chest and counted the length of his breaths. He liked to hear Jaebum breathing, a reminder that they were both still alive.

He fell back to sleep and awoke later to a familiar feeling in the air. He knew what it was that he was smelling on the winds. He couldn't turn from where he was in Jaebum’s grip very easily but he managed to shift around to see. Jin was asleep, and so were Joon and Yoongi. Jackson was the one keeping watch near the mouth of the cave, he kept a guard over all of them. Out in the arena, Jinyoung recognized the white flurries that fell from the skies and the cold that sank into his bones. His heart rate increased automatically before he even registered it. The game maker had changed the board again, and it was snowing.

It looked like the sun was setting through the clouds, they had slept through most of the day after the rough night that they’d had. Jinyoung turned back to face Jaebum. He turned to the person whose heartbeat was once the only thing keeping him alive and now he felt a different strength when he looked at Jaebum. He felt stronger from understanding Jaebum’s belief in him. His name was so beautiful to Jinyoung, every time he thought of it he couldn’t help but smile.

He reached a hand to Jaebum's face. The pieces of their lives were always entangled, intertwined from the moment Jinyoung volunteered. It never made any sense how easily they fit together, there was no real reason to it. Just that they were placed in each other's lives for a reason. Jinyoung had opened up to Jaebum completely and so much had changed, slowly but surely.

Love had blossomed in two lives that had been so broken before they found each other. Jinyoung knew that was what existed between them. It took him time to identify it, the feeling of it and the strength of it was all new to him. He hadn't truly understood what it meant to love someone like he loved Jaebum. Understanding himself led him to understanding the truth of what each word between them meant.

He had been selfish before in many ways, he had taken the comfort and safety he needed from Jaebum without truly being there in return. It had all started because he needed someone to care for him, he hadn't known how to care in return. Things had changed and he knew that he did care for Jaebum. He knew better than ever how to. He’d learned from Jaebum and in that learning he’d realized he wanted to be the one to protect and care for Jaebum, just as Jaebum protected and cared for him. He wanted to be the one that Jaebum could lean on, and the one Jaebum could trust to always love him. 

Jaebum leaned into his touch and opened his eyes to meet Jinyoung's. He saw what was in Jaebum's eyes clear as the air around them. He saw the love that Jaebum had for him and the truth of what had always been. The battles they had faced were no match to that love, Jinyoung believed in it with everything that he was. He wanted to speak words of love. He wanted to know where those emotions would carry them.

Jinyoung was captured by him, enchanted by him. He wanted to know everything about him, to know him in every way. That realization that he loved Jaebum the way he did changed everything and he wished he’d realized sooner. They were in an arena where any day could be their last, but Jinyoung wanted to win and to live on and to learn what it meant to love Im Jaebum.

The light of day reminded him of something that interrupted the thoughts in his mind. He’d made a trade off the night before and his time feeling alright would be ending soon. If the sun was getting low in the sky like he thought, he knew his time limit would soon be reached. It meant he would be feeling a whole lot of pain as Jin had said. So he told the elder everything that had happened, the choice he had made, the result and the consequences of taking the starcrest petals.

Soon their whole group was awake again and they had to discuss what to do next. Jin was down as he continued to recover and within hours Jinyoung’s pain would return and put him in need of rest. They all agreed their position was no longer a secret and it was dangerous to remain in the cave much longer. The reality their enemies hadn't come within the time they rested was odd.

They packed everything they had and left the cave behind. Jaebum kept his arm around Jinyoung in a protective manner, he knew what the younger would be facing soon. Joon led the way to caves he had seen near the spire where he had begun work the day before. The plan they’d set up so long before would be good to go in one more day. They would have to stay close to the hills. There was no more going all the way back down. 

There was snow falling from the sky and it brought back memories. Those memories were haunted things that he had wanted so badly to erase before. But as he looked at the snow now, those memories seemed much fainter, like glimmers of fears that didn't control him anymore. He breathed in the cold winter air deeply and he wasn’t afraid of it anymore. He was stronger than his past, stronger than his fears. The snow continued to fall as they walked on and eventually they reached the cave.

They ate together in the calm, savouring the time they had where they weren’t fighting. Jin was looking much brighter and stronger with each hour that passed. It made Jinyoung happy to see him smiling again and to hear him scolding the other boys. For a moment as the sun set and the night came he was able to forget where they were and what it meant. 

When the pain in his back sparked again it was everything Jin had warned it would be. It hurt ten times worse than it had when he’d initially been literally stabbed. He buckled over with it and clung to Jaebum who held him and told him over and over again that It would be okay. 

Jin had everything ready to help him handle what it was they were dealing with. Jinyoung accepted herbs that Jin said were a sedative, because his whole body was on fire with the pain centering from his back. He felt at peace in the midst of it because Jaebum held him close as he fell to sleep again.

—————

Jaebum rubbed his eyes as he accepted a tea that Jin had made all of them. He was glad every hour as Jin seemed much better. Whatever cure Namjoon had sent had caused a complete turnaround. When he and Jackson had returned to face the fact that their friend was dying, he’d been crushed. It had been a scary few hours of uncertainty and he couldn't imagine how much more Jinyoung had felt it. Jinyoung had been there the whole time from the moment the fight had happened.

Jinyoung had been everything they had believed he could be in those moments. He had been the one who led them in hope that they could save Jin. He was the one who stood in the face of their most desperate hour and moved a nation through his tears. What Jaebum had witnessed was what he’d always believed. Jinyoung was different and Panem saw it too.

Jaebum felt that he had witnessed one boy taking on an empire and winning. He knew everyone saw what had gone on, that things would change because of those moments. Things had already changed so much because of Jinyoung. Jaebum felt Yang had made a miscalculation by placing Jinyoung in the arena again. The President had given him a spotlight for a second time and once again Jinyoung had proven what he was. He had a will and strength to protect those he loved. Everything about him was strength. No matter what Yang did to him he’d come back stronger.

Jinyoung had grown in the days they had been in the arena. He had grown beyond that frightened boy he had been since the day he relinquished his sword. He had been faced with tough decisions in the days since they’d been there and he had risen to each challenge unbroken. 

What happened next was down to those that remained and sat around the fire together. They had to work together to fight the final battle and get Jinyoung out before Yang made another move to destroy him. Jaebum knew Yang knew exactly what Jinyoung was, what he had done and the threat he posed to everything that Yang had built. He wouldn't let that threat keep going forever. 

The plan had always been to break Jinyoung out of the arena, but they needed to continue to disguise it. In the day that would follow they would have to feint fracturing. Then they would have to get Jinyoung down without a tracker while Joon used his knowledge to break the dome. They all knew what Joon was working on with the spire. They didn’t know what form it would take but Joon’s place in the arena was always to bring the expertise they would need to actually break out.

"This isn't going to be easy," Jaebum said. They all talked together and mapped out what they knew about the arena and the tributes left on the other side. They would have a fight ahead of them and they were without several key members of their team. Hyolyn’s loss made Jaebum feel empty. He worried about who else they could lose before it was all over.

"Nothing here has been easy,” Yoongi said. Jaebum knew the weight that was on his shoulders. Yoongi blamed himself for what they had lost; for Hyolyn and for Jisoo. He knew nothing he said could change how the other boy felt.

"We have to last just one more day," Joon said, "and with our numbers and strength I doubt the enemy will try to hit us head on. Their plan yesterday was elaborate and detailed. They were likely counting on it being key to taking us out, now they must devise a new one.”

"They did weaken us," Jaebum said, "they caught us in their net." He was bitter about how he’d been played as well by them. He kept thinking of how much better things would have gone if he and Jackson were with Jinyoung and Jin when the others found them. The information Sunmi had given Yoongi had been used against them.

“They did,” Jin responded, "but we survived it, and we will again. We’re strong enough to defeat them.” Jaebum looked at the way Yoongi sat and believed that they were. It was unlikely their enemies would try anything against them with Yoongi standing alongside them. He was their trump card in the battle ahead.

"You know what has to happen next,” Jackson said in the midst of their discussion. Jaebum nodded, he knew exactly what Jackson meant. They had to keep playing the game for the cameras. That was their job and another way they could protect the plan.

"An alliance like ours could never last to the end," Jaebum responded. That was what Jackson meant. It was time for them to start to plan to go their separate ways. On camera, to the people of the districts and to the Capitol it would look like they were about to become enemies. They would have to carry the secrets of what their roles were till the end.

“We don’t have to break apart till they're gone," Yoongi said, "we can last together till 1 and 11 are not our problem anymore. Before then, we’re strongest together.”

Jaebum sighed, if their plan didn’t work they would have to go their separate ways in the end. That was something he didn’t want to think about. They wanted to bust out of the arena, but if that failed then the backup plan would certainly undo all the progress Jinyoung had made. He would be forced to fight his friends and the others would play the part of enemies to him. If he couldn’t do the killing that needed to take place they would try to kill each other to give Jinyoung the win. Jaebum didn’t know if he could handle killing any of them.

"Let's just focus on our enemies first," Jin said, "we haven’t finished together yet so we continue together.” Jaebum nodded. They were the last remaining game pieces in the grand scheme of it all. They would continue to stand together to see it through or they would fall together to save Jinyoung.

Their discussion had to end there for the night, Jin was still recovering and Yoongi forced him to go to sleep. Jaebum volunteered to keep first watch and Jackson volunteered for the second. That left Yoongi as the third. He wasn’t worried anything would go wrong that night. They were all together and that meant they were strong enough to win if they were attacked.

He was worried about the following day and the fight they would face. He worried about Jackson’s role and about his own fight. He worried about Yoongi and Jin and how they would be fighting to bring other forces into play. He also worried about the snow and if the snow would mean that no lightning would strike. He worried about what would happen if lightning struck the snow and if any of them would survive it.

In the darkness of the night he realized he heard birds singing, familiar birds. The ones that were always there in the arena. There were ahgases flying around outside in the dark, watching over them. Jaebum whistled two rises and the run the whole nation was familiar with. He whistled Jungkook’s notes. The echo stretched out through the valley into the ears of everyone there. 

Jaebum didn’t see it but Taeyeon stood in a clearing looking to the mountains and listening to the birds song. Her heart was moved and she wept for the choices she had been forced to make when she so badly had wanted to change.

—————

Jinyoung awoke in pain, intense pain which sleep had not tempered. He whimpered and pressed into Jaebum’s chest seeking comfort because it was hell feeling like he was feeling. The trade off he was warned about had been very real and the pain was almost like drowning. He wished he could take his mind off of it but it became his focus so quickly. He gripped Jaebum, he just needed something to hold on to.

Jaebum woke up and felt how tense Jinyoung was and Jaebum’s hands moved as they had before. Jinyoung felt it as one of Jaebum’s hands slipped under his shirt to his back at the source of the pain. Jaebum’s hand was cold but it was a relief to Jinyoung to have cold against his hot skin. He knew that Jaebum wished he could take the pain away.

“I’m right here,” Jaebum whispered gently to him. Jaebum's touch was gentle, everything he was to Jinyoung was gentle and loving in every way. It was everything that Jinyoung wanted and needed. Jinyoung was glad he didn't have to face the pain of the choices he made alone. They had been separated so much during their time in the arena. Jinyoung was so glad he had him back. Nothing had happened to him during the time they were apart. 

Jinyoung looked into his eyes and he found the strength to say what he had needed to for so long. Everything around them was uncertain, and in everything Jinyoung realized he needed to say it.

"I love you," Jinyoung spoke softly to Jaebum. Like breathing, it came easy. He meant the words he said in every way, the deepest ways. As he looked into Jaebum's eyes he saw the echoes. He could see the truth, no words needed for Jinyoung to know that Jaebum felt the same but he would give words. Because words in their existence and in their core were the realest thing they had. The sounds they made from within themselves spoke the things they believed and bonded them together.

"I love you too," Jaebum responded with words and they were everything. Jinyoung didn't realize until he heard them how much he had wanted his words echoed. Words could break and words could heal in so many ways.

Jaebum's words lifted his heart. Their eyes were on each others, that was all they needed. All he needed was Jaebum's touch, Jaebum's words. Even with time running fast on them, Jinyoung somehow felt like they had all the time in the world to fully live their love together.

He didn't need anything but that hope and promise of a brighter day. He didn't need anything else but Jaebum’s words and Jaebum’s eyes on his. His heart was full just being loved and knowing the feeling of loving someone fully. Each hour was dangerous, they could easily be torn apart but the love he felt would still exist no matter what happened in the tomorrows to come. He didn't know how much longer the intense pain in his body would last but if Jaebum stayed with him he knew he could bear it. 

He could bear anything with the elder's eyes of love fixated on his own. 

That was enough, that was everything.

—————

Snow was bad. They hadn't been prepared for snow in any way. It was cold out and Jin hated it. He felt like in a way the snow was a message that they were running out of time. Jin breathed deep and it still hurt to take that deeper breath. It would hurt for a long time, he knew that. He had been saved but it wasn't possible to instantly heal the broken ribs in his body. He wasn’t looking forward to the prospect of being airlifted out of the arena.

They had risked a fire going all night for warmth due to the snow, and they would continue to risk everything in the day that had come. It was the fifth day in the arena and with it came a lot of daunting choices they would all have to make. The lightning would strike in the late evening right when the sun had set. There would still be light on the horizon line when it happened.

That lightning was their way out.

Seokjin and Yoongi would take the first steps together to try and lead the other tributes away from the caves and take them out. Jackson would stay with Jinyoung, Jaebum and Joon to help watch over them and he had his own task to complete. Jaebum would guard Joon as he finished work with the wires. It was almost over, he hoped that everything they did was successful.

Jin and Yoongi found themselves ready to leave for their own journey ahead. Jin had given Jinyoung a sedative again, a milder one since things would be bad if he slept the rest of the day. By mid afternoon the intensity of the pain he was in would likely subside in some way, in time for everything to start moving.

Jaebum wore the bow and was prepared for any fight that would come their way. It was possible Yoongi and Jin wouldn't succeed, so Jaebum had to be ready to fight with a ranged weapon to protect Jinyoung and Joon and look for another way. Jin was glad that Jaebum knew the basics of how to use the bow. That would be enough for what was immediately ahead and he would have Jackson as backup. Jin still hated that they had to split up.

To the audience this would look like a natural step for any tributes in the arena. That was how they meant it to look, like an ending of the alliance as one team set out on their own and the other remained with two allies who had each lost the other tribute from their district.

Jin had his backpack strapped on and Jisoo's sword at his side. He wanted to keep a piece of her with him because she had saved him and he had been unable to save her in return. He needed that reminder of what they were fighting for. He looked as Yoongi stepped out of the cave as well. He was fully armed with knives ready for any fight that they encountered. Jin nodded to Jaebum who stood at the mouth of the cave to see them off. 

Jin looked back to where Jinyoung slept soundly against the far wall of the cave. He would be well protected with Jaebum and Jackson watching over him, but Jin still felt bad for leaving him. Jinyoung had fought so hard for his life when he’d given up, he would have to find a way to repay Jinyoung someday. He hoped that they could get Jinyoung out with the plans that they had made. The arena could not keep going because the longer it went the more likely they would lose.

They stepped out and left the others behind, they set off down the mountains together. They would keep going and find a place far away to make as much noise as they could. Their goal was to get all the attention of the other tributes on them. They also hoped that would get the attention of the game makers and the nation, so that nothing else was broadcast but them. They knew the less people saw of what Joon was working on, the better.

"If you're tired at any point," Yoongi said as they reached the bottom of the mountains, "you need to tell me. I don't want you pushing yourself too hard.” 

Jin nodded in response. It was the least he could do for his friend. After all that happened. He knew he still needed to apologize for how he had handled things. The fact he had almost...

"I'm sorry Yoongi," Seokjin said, "I shouldn't have asked Jinyoung for that..." 

He’d asked for poison and asked to give up. After what Jinyoung had told him he should have known better than to try and put that on the younger boy. Yoongi scoffed at him. 

"I'm the one who should be sorry," Yoongi said, "I wasn't there with you when I should have been. I promised Namjoon I would look out for you and I failed to do that.” 

Jin sighed, of course he felt that way. Yoongi would always find a way to blame himself even when what happened wasn’t his fault. It wasn’t really any of their faults. They were in an arena, things were bound to go wrong at some point.

"You couldn't have known," Jin responded, "they played all of us good. What I did was worse, I shouldn't have even tried to give up when you and Jinyoung weren't willing to." 

"I understand," Yoongi said, "you knew better than us how bad it was and you were the one in pain.” 

"I'm still so sorry,” he responded. 

"I know," Yoongi said, "and I am sorry too."

Jin knew they would both be weighing their own actions for a long time. There was no easy way to face their mistakes over the course of the days that they’d been there. All they could do was focus on the future and fight to make up for those mistakes.

In the end they both had lived another day for a reason and they wouldn't fail their task. They went through the forest and found the dry wood they needed. There wasn’t much snow in the valley which made things easier for them. They made their way to the center clearing at the cornucopia and began work together to dig up the land mines beneath the 24 platform. It was work they needed to approach carefully so they wouldn't set them off accidentally.

It was risky but younger kids had done it in many games before. 

They uncovered four of them at first which they then moved them carefully to the tree line. They then continued their work and dug up more until they had 10 of them close together among the trees. 

They worked to dig and move the other fourteen to other areas but they made sure to keep them close enough that the explosions would cascade together. They worked as the sun was high in the sky and Jin realized the snow was melting. The temperatures didn't sustain it and wouldn’t throughout the day. He was glad for that.

They ate lunch at a distance from all the work they had done. They couldn’t be careless with what it was they’d done. They didn’t want to be caught in any of the explosion. Jin wished he could do more for their plan but Yoongi had to do most of the digging on his own due to Jin’s injury.

After they ate they got another formation of bombs together and lit the dry wood close to them. They kept a safe distance and waited until the explosions began. They watched the center go up in flames and the fire and snow reminded them of the year before. The fire and snow had been what had brought them all together to fight for Jinyoung.

They knew that the explosion wouldn't be what got the tributes attention on them, it was showy and a way to get them moving in the direction Yoongi and Jin wanted them too. They would head for the mountains upon reading seeing it because they would know it was a distraction. Jin and Yoongi would guard the way and lead them off towards the west and towards dangers that they wouldn’t see coming..

They walked back to the base of the mountains to wait and began their work to create a distraction and trail the others would follow. The two tributes from District 5 were together and they would succeed in what they were planning. They had both been battered and bruised but they both held onto a great strength in each other.

"Namjoon's probably been kicking himself the past few days," Jin stated as they watched and waited. They hoped that they weren’t read and outsmarted but the plan relied on the other tributes trying to outsmart them and failing. 

"You know he'd kill me if I let you die," Yoongi said, "it was the last thing he told me the morning we left for the arena." Jin laughed.

"He told me he'd kill me if _I_ died," Jin responded, remembering the odd way Namjoon had phrased it and how he had laughed at him over it. Namjoon was good with words in so many situations but when it came to Jin he seemed to bumble over them. Jin knew how he felt and always helped him along because he did feel the same way.

He knew his decision to volunteer for the games when Namjoon's name had been called was reckless. Namjoon had told him it was stupid because this time they would be against a lot of trained killers. Still Jin wouldn't take back that decision, it was the best one he made. Namjoon's life hadn't been one he was willing to sacrifice. His own he would willingly give up, but he realized how foolish it was to think that way. None of them would actually let him give up his life just like he wouldn't let them do it either. They had already lost one of their own and they wouldn't lose another.

They wouldn't lose each other. 

Jin couldn't wait for it all to be over because when it was he could get Namjoon's upcoming scolding over with. He was sure he was in trouble for almost dying but he was also sure Namjoon would cry and hug him. He didn’t know which would be worse. He hated seeing Namjoon cry. He’d always hated it, since they were kids. He wanted to be the reason that Namjoon never had to cry again, not the reason for his tears.

"I'm glad I didn't die," Jin stated, "Joonie would have died to come bring me back, then he would kill me again. I don’t think I could handle dying twice." Jin laughed at his own Joke and he was surprised when Yoongi laughed as well. The days really had worn him down if he was laughing at Jin’s jokes.

"That he would," Yoongi responded. They both laughed again because they were glad to have a bit of lightness and relief from the trauma they had gone through. They could laugh about him almost dying now that it was certain he was alive. The irony was not lost on him.

That nightmare was over but it probably meant that there were new nightmares ahead. Even when the arena ended, the war wouldn’t be over. It will have just begun. Their actions were meant to be the true beginning of the revolution even though so much of it had already begun a year before. Their hope is that they would finally have the full support of every district by the end of their fight.

Jin was glad the plan in front of them succeeded. They sighted the other tributes and began the chase. The exhilaration and the knowledge that they could turn the tides was what kept him going as they began to run. Their job was to keep that chase going as long as they could. They would lead their enemies right towards the biggest danger in the arena.

—————

Jaebum watched the explosions in the distance of the valley. He noticed the day was much warmer and the snow was beginning to melt on the ground around them. He was sure there was a showdown coming and he was ready to fight for what he loved.

"They may not take the bait," Jackson spoke from where sat among the rocks, "they may already know about the western plains and what is there."

"There is a risk to everything," Jaebum responded and he looked to Jinyoung who was laid out on his stomach to keep his back from having any pressure on it. There were a lot of risks they would take in the hours ahead of them. The final showdown was at hand and Jackson's concern was valid because it was possible that the career pack could head their way.

Jinyoung’s injury and the effects of the starcrest were bad setbacks. Jaebum wished that they had Jinyoung’s strength on their side for any fight ahead of them. Jiyoung had hardly gotten to show how good he was in the arena but his skills with a bow had even countered Taeyeon's on the first day. Jaebum was sure he could turn the tide much in the same way as Yoongi.

The truth was he also had already killed to protect his friends, he had taken that step. That meant he could do it again, because every time he would get easier. That was the sad reality of the war they would be in. Jaebum wished he had been there for Jinyoung when it happened but there was no use in regretting the past. He had been obviously shaken up by it but there had been no time to talk him through it. Jaebum was sure they had many conversations ahead if they succeeded in getting out. 

He hoped that it worked. He had found something so precious in Jinyoung and he wanted to know where it was the love that they held for each other would carry them. 

They would ignite a war through their actions and Jaebum hoped to be there by Jinyoung’s side for the fights ahead. Joon's work was almost finished which meant the end was in sight. They just had to hold the mountain until the last rays of sun had disappeared on the horizon. They just had to outlast the others.

They could do that much, for the end of everything their enemies had built. Their goal was to end the Hunger Games once and for all.

The 75th year would be their last.

Im Jaebum would stand and fight to make sure that was how their final battle went down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The last chapters of this story are shorter. We are on our way down the hill so to speak. We will be drawing to a close soon.
> 
> There will be a third part to this series so please look forward to that as well.
> 
> As always I ask you to please comment to let me know what you think and to leave kudos if you haven't done so already. I am so inspired by all the support this story has gotten. I want to continue quick updates till we get to the end.


	20. That's What Love Is

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jinyoung awakes to confusion as his allies fight for his life.

_Stars_

_They stretched out above his head…_

_The night sky_

_Echoes_

_Jinyoung walked in the night, a garden of stars_

_A garden of light_

_And he looked down_

_He looked to see_

_His whole body was made of light_

_Everything he was_

_He was light_

_He wondered what it meant_

_Why was he chosen for this?_

_Hope_

_That was why_

_Because the people needed hope_

_Hope made them strong enough to fight_

_Hope made them strong enough to live_

_To live took strength_

—————

Jinyoung awoke to the dark, to an intense pain in his arm. His eyes opened to see someone over him, he could feel them on top of him. He shook and cried out from the sudden reality of the pain searing throughhis body from his arm. A hand came over his mouth in response to his cry, silencing him. Tears filled his eyes as confusion overwhelmed him. He was scared, and he didn’t know how to respond to the fear suddenly coursing through every part of him.

What was happening to him? 

Where was Jaebum? 

Where were Yoongi and Jin? 

Where was Jackson?

That was when it registered that the person above him, the one who was holding him down and stabbing into him, was Jackson. Jackson had a knife stabbed deep into his arm and he whimpered from the pain. He could barely breathe at the way Jackson was covering his mouth. Jackson had him at his mercy and he was slicing him open. Jinyoung squirmed and struggled and wondered what had happened. He wondered what had gone wrong and why was his ally turning on him.

"Stay still Jinyoung," Jackson ordered. 

Jinyoung whimpered more as the knife cut deeper. Jackson dug the knife into farther and he couldn’t breathe the way he wanted to against the weight of him on his chest. Jackson had turned on them. Jinyoung squirmed and he felt so afraid. He wondered what had happened to the others. Had Jackson killed them? He wondered where Jaebum was and his heart pounded in fear.

"Damnit," Jackson hissed at him, "stop moving!" His voice was icy and it made Jinyoung’s blood run cold. Jackson's knee was holding his other arm down and his weight kept Jinyoung’s body trapped helplessly beneath him. He was trapped thoroughly and there was no way out. He thought the pain in his arm wouldn't end, that it wouldn't stop, when finally Jackson removed the knife and held it up. 

Tears spilled from Jinyoung's eyes, worry, fear everything captured him. Jackson looked angry, he looked at Jinyoung with resentment. Jinyoung wondered if this was how he died. Killed slowly and cut apart by someone he’d nearly started to consider his friend, any fraternity between them had been worthlessly discarded just as with Minho the year before. He expected the knife to be plunged into another part of his body when Jackson released him. He panted for air.

"Stay down," Jackson ordered him, his voice still cold. He then stood up and left Jinyoung on the ground, his body shaking from fear and agony, his lacerated arm throbbing with the pain. The tribute walked out towards the mouth of the cave. It looked dark outside like clouds had surrounded the sky on a dusky evening. How long had he been asleep?

Jinyoung was confused, hurting...

What had Jackson just done to him? Was he coming back to finish the job? Was he going to torture him slowly and tear him apart? Where was Jaebum? These were the questions that ran through his mind.

“Jaebum,” He said, his voice sounded strange. He could hear how much pain he was in from the sound of his own voice.

He didn't see any sign of the others around him. He couldn’t see far outside the cave from his current vantage point on the ground. He did his best to sit up and to turn over so that he could lift himself onto his knees. He worked with all he had to try and stand, ignoring how his back and arm screamed for him to collapse. He needed to get out and away before Jackson returned to finish him. That was his main thought. He couldn't see his bow or quiver anywhere, they had taken his weapons from him and that scared him even more. He didn’t know what was going on or why it was happening to him.

He got to his feet and struggled to stand straight. His heat felt light and blood was gushing from his arm. His back was still in pain from the knife wound that he’d been given. He stumbled towards the wall of the cave to lean against it in order to get his bearings. He needed to get away from his enemies.

He heard someone yelling outside the cave, there were sounds in the air. He could also hear the sound of arrows whistling by He knew that sound well. Someone else shouted in the darkness and he listened in hope that someone that was on his side would come to help him. A boom of thunder broke through the sky. The sound of people shouting... There was so much noise that it was overwhelming to Jinyoung.

Lightning struck and lit the valley outside the cave. It was so dark yet it didn’t seem like night had fallen. It seemed like there were thick clouds in the sky. Jinyoung continued to struggle as he walked, a trail of blood behind him. He stumbled and fought to get to the edge of the cave. He needed to find Jaebum. What had they done with Jaebum? He stumbled, his legs were strong beneath him but there was so much pain still in his back that he couldn’t ignore. He needed to keep going. He had to because Jaebum had to be out there somewhere.

"JAEBUM!" Someone shouted the name of the one Jinyoung was looking for, Jaebum was alive. Jaebum was close by.

"JIN, WHERE ARE YOU?" Jackson's voice shouted in the chaos. 

Jin was out there. Where was Jaebum? He heard the sound of thunder again. Lightning cracked through the sky and he could feel it in the air. The lightning storm made his heart beat faster. He didn’t know what was going on and it frightened him.

Jinyoung stumbled out of the cave and saw that Joon was standing by the spires. There were wires wrapped around them and Joon held a spear in his hands, the edge of which had a wire around it that trailed back to the spires. Jinyoung’s heart pounded as he looked at them. Joon was looking to the sky, watching for something and Jinyoung was sure lightning was going to strike dangerously close to them. What he didn’t understand was why Joon had a spear.

Jinyoung stumbled again and leaned his back against the rock walk. He slid down till he was seated, he was dizzy. He put his hand on his arm, it was still gushing out blood. It hurt badly. Jackson had cut deep and Jinyoung worried what he was going to do to the others. Was this a wound that could kill him? Was that what Jackson had intended for him. That he would bleed out there among the rocks while his friends were in trouble. He breathed in deep in an attempt to level his body as it shook. Fear was almost the only thing he could feel at the moment.

A cannon sounded... 

His heart stopped beating for a moment because of that sound. He could feel panic forming in his veins. He had no way of knowing who had just died but someone was gone. Jinyoung crawled in an attempt to get to a place where he could see. He needed to see past the rocks to find where his friends were.

"JAEBUM!" someone called his name again. 

Jinyoung couldn't see anything until he did see someone. A figure came into view in the dark but as he got closer Jinyoung recognized him. He was someone who would finish the job Jackson started.

Zico.

Jinyoung whimpered, his vision was hazy. It was almost too difficult to see and he knew it was impossible to fight. He wished he could make himself invisible but he knew Zico's eyes were already on him. The District 11 tributes did not possess the same bravado as he had in training and he had no knives in his hands. Instead, his hand held a sword much like the one that Minho had used… 

Zico walked towards Jinyoung with a smirk on his face. A hunter with wounded prey in his sights. Jinyoung looked at him in fear, he could hardly think straight to stand. 

"Well look what we have here," Zico approached him and Jinyoung was hopelessly petrified. He was in no position to face a fight. 

But he wasn’t alone, he had Joon at the spires. The man called down to them with the spear in his hand.

"Back away from him!" Joon ordered. Jinyoung felt hope in his heart, Joon had a high point and an advantage, but—

"It's hopeless old man," Another voice said.

Ji-hyun.

Jinyoung shivered as he saw the sling in the air and a rock flew through to hit Joon in the head. Jinyoung cried out as he realized what was about to happen. Joon went down and Jinyoung’s ally was gone. He was trapped, completely trapped. He then noticed Ji-hyun looked a bit worse for wear, a large gash in his side and claw marks in his legs. 

"Ji-ho," Ji-hyun said, "he's not going to make it." Jinyoung realized the older man saw how bad off he clearly was. Jinyoung hadn’t been sure before that he would die from the wound in his arm, but it frightened him to think it wouldn’t take much to kill him.

"Still," Zico said, "i've waited for this moment." He walked forward and grabbed a fist full of Jinyoung's hair. Jinyoung cried out as Zico lifted him up by his scalp. He wanted to beg for mercy, to cry and plead with Zico to let him go but the words got stuck in his mouth. He couldn’t speak, couldn’t fight back.

"Get away from him," a low threatening voice interrupted what Zico was planning. 

Jinyoung knew that voice and his heart rate increase. Jinyoung's eyes locked on Jaebum's. Jaebum had the bow an arrow notched and trained at Zico. Zico released his hold and Jinyoung was dropped to the ground. He hit the rocks hard and yelped, pain spiking from the impact.

Tears fell from his eyes nearly in relief because Jaebum was alive he was right in front of him. Jinyoung had been so afraid that something had happened to him, just seeing him relieved Jinyoung of that fear despite the desperate situation they were in.

"I'd act fast," Ji-hyun said and he lifted the sling to launch a rock at Jaebum. 

Jinyoung flinched but Jaebum wasn’t hurt like he was. Jaebum dodged the rock and fired his notched arrow into Ji-hyun. He had turned away from Zico and Jinyoung saw Zico react accordingly.

"JAEBUM!" Jinyoung shouted as Zico threw a knife, but Jinyoung had noticed it too late.

Jaebum took the knife to his side but it didn't move him. Jaebum looked down at it and back up to Zico with hatred in his eyes. He dropped the bow and drew his sword from his side.

"Why don't you fight me man to man?" He asked Zico.

His eyes were wild and Jinyoung saw a fighter. Jinyoung realized he was seeing the boy from the arena, the boy who had lit fires and burned forests to survive. Jaebum did not back down nor give up, he always fought back. Zico seemed pleased with the outcome.

"Gladly," Zico said and he lifted his sword.

Jinyoung was terrified, the fight ahead wasn’t going to be fair. Zico had already hurt Jaebum and Jinyoung worried about what that could do to the man he loved. Fear filled Jinyoung, he was in full panic and on the edge of losing his breath. Everything was so hazy. It almost didn’t feel real.

How had things gone wrong so fast? 

Where were the others?

Ji-hyun hadn't gone down completely, he was stumbling back with the arrow in his abdomen watching as Zico and Jaebum's swords clashed. Jinyoung shook, he didn't want to watch the fight, he wanted Jaebum to win and rush back to his side to hold him. Jinyoung couldn’t turn away from what was in front of him and he felt useless because he couldn’t back Jaebum up.

That was when he noticed his bow laying on the ground. Jaebum had dropped it. 

Thunder echoed through the mountains.

Lightning struck in the valley, closer...

It kept getting closer. Jinyoung moved slow, pain filled every part of his body as it scrapped against the ground. His hand reached for it, the tips of his fingers brushed against it. His hand curled around it. He had made it to his weapon, and he would have to use it. He started to pull it towards himself when someone stepped on his hand.

Jinyoung cried out from the crushing pain as the person put his weight into stepping down. He looked up at Ji-hyun and watched as blood dripped down from him as he tore the arrow out of his body and held it over Jinyoung. Jinyoung was terrified, certain he was about to die. Jaebum was right in front of him and he couldn’t help him, he’d be killed…

"Please," Jinyoung begged, he didn't want to die in the arena. He didn’t want to die when he was so close to Jaebum, he wanted to live. He wanted to live so badly. His eyes turned to Jaebum who was fighting for him, he couldn’t die.

"I'll help you," Ji-hyun said, his voice sounded sickening like he was mocking Jinyoung. The man knelt down next to him and pulled him up so that Jinyoung’s back was to his chest. Jinyoung was crying openly, scared and confused as Ji-hyun lifted the bow and put it in is hands. He moved Jinyoung’s hands to notch the arrow and aimed it back towards Jaebum. Jinyoung sobbed as he realized what Ji-hyun was trying to do to him.

"Please,” he begged, “please don’t.”

"Let's put the odds ever in your favor," Ji-hyun whispered in his ear, his voice made Jinyoung's blood run cold. He couldn’t do anything to stop it.

"Let him go," Jaebum shouted as he fought. Jaebum had realized what was going on and his attention was divided which made things worse. Jinyoung didn't want it to happen. He didn't want them to be torn apart like this.

"Let it fly," Ji-hyun said as he let go of the bow string by taking Jinyoung's hand off it.

The arrow flew not into either of the fighters in front of them. It whistled past them into the rocks. Jinyoung was shaking as he exhaled in relief, but he didn’t have time to catch his breath before Ji-hyun's hand went around his throat.

Jinyoung was desperate, more desperate than he had ever been in his life. He couldn’t breathe. Ji-hyun could kill him, suffocate the breath from his body. Jinyoung shook as he fought and pushed at the other man, he had to get him off. He had to breathe. Jinyoung had to think, and as he slowed his mind down he realized Ji-hyun was injured as well. Jinyoung just needed to be stronger that he was. Jinyoung moved his hand up and hit Ji-hyun in the abdomen where Jaebum’s arrow had been lodged in him.

Ji-hyun groaned, his grip loosened and Jinyoung pushed with all his might to get the monster off of him. Jinyoung's focus was back on Jaebum who was fighting with everything he had. Jinyoung didn’t know how much longer it could go on. Jaebum was hurt, and Zico's knifes brandished a sting that Jinyoung had felt himself. 

Poison.

Jaebum beat Zico back to the ground with all of his strength and then turned around. Jinyoung’s breath caught in his throat as he realized what Jaebum was about to do. He lifted his arm back and threw with all his strength to launch his sword into Ji-hyun's body. Jinyoung couldn’t breathe as he realized what had just happened. Jaebum had left himself defenseless in a move to save Jinyoung.

He had no more weapons.

"JAEBUM!" Jinyoung screamed his name as his senses came back to him. Zico got up from the ground and walked back towards him.

A cannon sounded for the deranged man beside him and a cannon sounded again. Jinyoung would have feared the worst but that second one was too early. Too early as Zico slashed his sword across Jaebum's back.

Jaebum cried out in pain. 

Jinyoung cried out louder.

The fight needed to end. Jaebum was down, bleeding, but his eyes were on Jinyoung’s. Jinyoung looked into his eyes and saw in them there was no fear, only love. Jaebum was facing death and he wasn’t afraid, the only thing he was focused on was Jinyoung. Jinyoung wanted to run to him, to run in front of him to protect him. He couldn’t breathe as tears fell from his eyes and he tried to get up to get to him.

As Zico raised his sword.

Jinyoung felt his heart about to stop, he could hear each beat like thunder in his ears.

Jaebum kept his eyes on Jinyoung.

The sound of an arrow flying through the air broke through the sky. The sight of it shocked Jinyoung as it collided with Zico's sword and caused him to drop it. Jinyoung looked to see where it had come from.

"Taeyeon!" Zico shouted her name as the lightning crashed and lit up the sight of the woman entering the fight.

"You have no honor Zico," Taeyeon said. The wind blew through her hair as she stood there her eyes glanced back towards Jinyoung and back towards Zico. But then her eyes caught sight of something. She looked towards Jinyoung where he lay on the ground, injured, bloodied and weakened. Her breath caught as she looked at him.

"Where did you get that?" she asked. Her eyes were wide and Jinyoung realized she was looking at the necklace he wore. A snippet of Jade in the shape of a triangle. Her eyes were fixated on it. Her eyes looked frightened but Jinyoung realized what it meant. The shape of it was one third of something, it was connected to her.

Taeyeon lifted her hand to her neck and pulled out from her jacket a necklace, a snippet of jade in the shape of a triangle. It's setting only different in that it was silver. And Jinyoung began to understand, that this was truly their most desperate hour, and the necklace he wore was hope.

The mask of coldness, the features of her face slipped away and Jinyoung saw tears form in her eyes. He looked at her so desperate for help as he suddenly realized that her role was always what was meant to happen. 

Taeyeon fired an arrow into Zico and another and another and another. 

Jinyoung heard them crashing into him but he didn’t look back as he heard him stumble and fall.

He watched Taeyeon.

There among the rocks with thunder sounding and lighting crashing closer and closer, stood their last knight. The one who was always meant to turn and save them. Taeyeon stood watching the skies with tears streaming down her face and a thankfulness in her features. And Jinyoung understood everything meant something to her so much deeper. He understood that there was someone she loved out there whose life was saved.

Jinyoung turned back to Jaebum whose eyes met his. Jinyoung had to get to him. He moved and crawled to where Jaebum was, their hands met and Jinyoung pulled himself closer and closer. They were both still breathing, that was enough for him. They were breathing, they were alive.

"Jinyoung," Jaebum said his name like he always had, with so much love. It had taken Jinyoung so long to realize it. 

"I'm here," Jinyoung spoke words of reassurance and Jinyoung saw Jaebum’s eyes shift to Taeyeon. Her eyes were on the spires. A cannon sounded as Zico's life left him. For once it was one that didn’t scare Jinyoung.

"Jinyoung," Jaebum said softly as Jinyoung got closer to him. He couldn't hear what Jaebum was saying as the elder started mumbling. His voice was breathy as if he was in pain. Jinyoung could see his blood against the rocks and staining his clothes. Jinyoung felt the gathering of static in the air but he focused on Jaebum.

"Jinyoung," Jaebum said his name again stronger with love in his voice.

"Yes," Jinyoung responded, tears seemed to have taken up a permanent residence on his face. It began to sink in how bad off Jaebum was. There was a deep gash in his side from the knife and his back had been sliced open. He was losing blood and he looked so pale.

"I love you," Jaebum said. Tears pooled in his own eyes, "I love you." He said it again, a finality in his voice and Jinyoung shook his head. He wouldn’t let it be the end.

"No," Jinyoung said with a broken voice, "No Jaebum no."

"Thank you," Jaebum said words again that sounded so final.

"No," Jinyoung pleaded, "you're not going, you're not leaving me." He was going to help Jaebum like he’d helped Jin. 

"Please," Jinyoung begged, "Please, please I have to save you." Jaebum smiled at him despite his tears.

"You already did," Jaebum said a dryness in his voice, his skin so pale.

"I didn't," Jinyoung argued with him. He hadn’t done anything. Jaebum was the one who had saved his life. Jaebum lifted a hand to his face, wiping his tears. Wiping them away again like he always did.

"I love you," Jaebum said those three words again and Jinyoung felt them. "And I always will. No matter where I am, no matter what happens…” His voice sounded weak.

"Don't," Jinyoung begged his voice went higher and broke off as he felt himself breaking. Thunder was gathering, the air growing thick with it. 

Jinyoung put his hand on Jaebum's face. Jaebum placed a hand against Jinyoung’s.

"No," Jinyoung said again.

"Jinyoung please say it," Jaebum whispered and Jinyoung understood what he wanted, that he needed words. He needed Jinyoung to say those words. He needed them like Jinyoung had needed them mere hours before. Jinyoung would give him words, and all his heart.

"I love you," Jinyoung said through his sobs.

"I love you," Jinyoung said it again.

"I love you," Jinyoung said it a third time for the times Jaebum had said it. 

And Jinyoung leaned down to give him more, to give him everything. 

Jinyoung pressed his lips to Jaebum’s he could taste his own tears against them and he felt Jaebum move to respond. It was like lightning striking his being, like everything he’d ever needed. He kissed Jaebum with all his emotion, with all he had left. He couldn’t let go of him. 

Jinyoung pulled back and looked into Jaebum’s eyes, he saw Jaebum’s eyes were filled with sorrow. Jinyoung’s heart hurt as he was so afraid that first kiss would be their last.

He laid his head on Jaebum's chest and wrapped his arms around him. He held on to Jaebum close like Jaebum had always held him.

"Thank you," Jaebum breathed two more words and Jinyoung sobbed as he felt Jaebum’s breathing slow…

He breathed in and out…

No more…

The thunder gathered over head and as Jinyoung sobbed over Jaebum.

The one who saw everything clearly was Taeyeon. She notched an arrow and aimed it towards the skies. Taeyeon tied Joon’s wire around it and as the lighting struck the spires she fired it up into the arena. She fired it with all her strength to make the shot.

She flew through the air from the force of the blast against the spires but as Jinyoung looked up he saw the damage done. He saw the explosion as the dome of the arena began to crumble. Pieces began to fall down from the sky. Light began to break through. He clung to Jaebum, he clung to what he loved most. 

There with his head laid against Jaebum’s chest he felt a rhythm, he counted it and chased it. He listened closely as his eyes slipped shut and he let darkness claim him…

…because he couldn't breathe alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for how this ended.
> 
> I promise not all hope is lost.
> 
> Just look on the bright side, our boys finally kissed.
> 
> Chapter 21 is called "Unyielding."
> 
> Please comment and let me know what you think. Thank you all for sticking with me. Book 3 will be coming after the next chapter and a preview.


	21. Unyielding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jinyoung awakens after the fight.

Jin sat on the floor of the hovercraft, a bit tired and a little worse for wear. The day had not gone as planned at all, but in the end JYP’s move with the necklace had turned things around. Jin had been picked up by the same hovercraft as Jinyoung, Taeyeon and Jackson after Taeyeon had broken the arena open. They’d lost much in the end with how badly the fight had gone. Zico and Ji-hyun had slipped past them and made it to Jinyoung but Jaebum had been there.

Yoongi had gone missing in the shuffle of things, somehow Jin didn’t think that it was an accident on Yoongi’s part. Jin had seen his expression in the arena and knew something of what he was planning. The worst part of their day had been when Jin had been informed Jaebum was dead.

His chest hurt when he heard it, he knew what that would mean to Jinyoung. He knew how it would hurt the boy who was meant to be their phoenix. Jin had lost his friend but Jinyoung had lost more than that. It was everything they’d all feared would happen. Jin wished he had been there to help change things. It wasn’t supposed to go that way.

He had argued with JYP and Hoseok that they should go back to find Yoongi however long it would take. But they were out of time and the mission was to get Jinyoung, plain and simple. Jinyoung’s body was battered to a point of weakness. While they had a good medical team on the ship, they wanted to get him to their destination as soon as they could and had one stop to make along the way. Jinyoung and Taeyeon were both still unconscious and hooked up to IV’s.

Earlier in the day, Jin and Yoongi had gotten the attention of the tributes and were forced to climb trees while the mutts were distracted with the four others. Taeyeon had killed many of them then the tributes had headed towards the mountains. The mutts had turned for Yoongi and Jin. Yoongi had fought hard to get them out of there but they lost a lot of time and in that time darkness had begun to fall, lightning strikes had begun to take place. They ran and ended up in the mountains fighting Jay. Jin had searched for Jaebum but had not gotten there in time.

Jackson had gotten Jin out of the line of fire because Zico was at large, throwing knifes trying to take them both out. It was then Jackson told Jin that he had successfully removed Jinyoung’s tracker and left him hidden in the cave. The barrage had ended but they had stayed down until it was clear something was off.

They hadn’t been able to run fast enough and lightning struck near them.That had thrown them both off from their goal. They’d been thrown to the ground and stunned. When lighting struck the spires an arrow electrified into the dome above, they knew the mission had succeeded. They’d broken the dome, and that meant help was coming to get them out.

Being picked up meant counting their losses.

Jin didn’t want to leave Jinyoung’s bedside for a moment. They said when they found Jinyoung he was clinging to Jaebum’s body so tight that it was hard to separate him from the elder. Jinyoung was witness to what had happened to the man and that probably meant he would wake up panicked. The whole thing was a mess. It was wrong.

Joon had died, he hadn’t been the one to bring the arena down. It was Taeyeon who had ultimately broken them out.

Jin put his head in his hands, the sorrow of their loss and the dread of what was to come filled him. He didn’t know where they were heading. Before they got there they would stop at a rendezvous point where people Hoseok had saved from the Capitol waited. Namjoon was with them, Jin was glad that he would be back with Namjoon. He wanted to see the other again.

He was thankful for what they still had even if their war was far from over. They had people to hold on to and he hoped that when Jinyoung awoke he would understand.

The door to the back of the hovercraft slid open and Jin looked up to see Hoseok walking back to join him. The former tribute escort sat down next to him and put his arms around him. Hobi understood the pressure they were all under for the mission and he knew how devastating losing Jaebum was. Though, Jin knew what stressed Hoseok out the most not knowing where Yoongi was. Hoseok and Yoongi were close friends. Their bond had formed in all the time that Yoongi had been forced to spend in the Capitol.

“What was it like watching that?” Jin asked Hoseok. He knew the other had watched the entire games, but he would catch what Jin was referring to.

“It was Horrifying,” Hoseok responded, “Namjoon almost died when you got hit with that 2nd rock.”

“Excuse me,” Jin complained, “I was the one who almost died. He didn’t have to feel what that felt like!” He knew Namjoon could be dramatic when it came to things concerning Jin.

“Yeah,” Hoseok said, “what the hell were you thinking? You had a bag full of poisoned substances yet you grabbed a sword—” Jin hit him lightly on the arm.

“I wasn’t about to be able to get them to willingly eat poison,” Jin whined again. He did have things he might have been able to weaponize if he was prepared, but it was difficult to fight with poison on short notice.

“We were really worried about you,” Hoseok said softer, ending their banter.

“I am sorry,” Jin responded, “I honestly didn’t think you were all going to get that medicine after what it undoubtedly took to get the starcrest.” He had known things after that could be impossible.

“It was impossible,” Hoseok said, “Yang barred all sponsors from interfering further where it came to you. No one would pay for it but that kid...” He looked to where Jinyoung laid, breath strong in his body. “He made the impossible happen. Every eye in Panem watched that kid ask for help without uttering a word. Everyone was moved just by the expression in his eyes.” Jin knew it. He’d understood what it was Jinyoung had done for him. 

“But it was that necklace...” Hoseok said, Seokjin saw both Taeyeon and Jinyoung wore matching necklaces. It was what JYP had sent for Jinyoung to wear, a sign to let Taeyeon know it was her time to intervene. 

“What is it?” Jin asked.

“That triangle is a symbol known in district 1,” Hoseok replied, “Taeyeon wore it in her games, one of 3 pieces. The other two are her sisters. It took 3 days for JYP to get them out of their district, the day he first approached them he was given that necklace. He didn’t want Jinyoung to wear it until he was sure the girls were safe. They are currently in District 13, where we are heading, and Taeyeon was the last knight in the game.” Jin was about to speak in response but Hoseok continued.

“But how it helped you,” Hoseok said, “all of 1 knew Taeyeon would change sides the moment they saw that necklace. Taeyeon was their hero, they moved at the sight of the symbol. District 1 bought the cure you needed but Yang still wouldn’t allow it to go in.”

“How did you get it to us then?” Jin asked. If Yang was really that set on letting Jin die, what had changed? He wasn’t merciful, he was unrelenting when he decided someone should die.

“The other districts were in an uproar,” Hoseok responded, “seeing Jinyoung like that got them going crazy. He had just killed for someone... For you. They weren’t willing for that to be for nothing, not with Jinyoung begging them like he was. The districts respond to Jinyoung just as we believed, we saw that more than ever during those moments. Yang had the pressure of near half the districts and he still wouldn’t move, it took more than that.” Jin wondered what more could be done to change his mind.

“Namjoon went and begged an audience with Yang,” Hoseok said, “he bowed before him and begged his mercy. He stayed bowed in the palace for hours begging on his knees. It took JYP to reason with Yang after seeing Namjoon wouldn’t move or rest. JYP helped the cause and Yang granted mercy.”

“It made it just in time,” Jin was amazed at all that had gone on, “there was no way they could have revived me if I crashed like that again. My ribs are still broken.” Jin put his hands over his ribs, the pain was still there as he breathed. It wasn’t going to be a fast healing injury, that was something he was certain about. The cure hadn’t been for his ribs but to help his organs to keep functioning, an enhancement to heal the internal damage he took.

“There was another thing a whole nation watched…” Hoseok said softly.

“What was that?” Jin asked.

“Jaebum and Jinyoung,” Hoseok responded, “everyone wanted them to make it together. That last stand Jaebum made. We have footage from all over the nation, people in the districts went insane. He threw his sword...”

“He did what he had to,” Jin said, he knew always that Jaebum would be willing to give it all up for Jinyoung. Even throwing away every chance he had himself.

That was the purest form of love, sacrifice.

Jinyoung did know that, after all they had said to each other. He knew how much Jaebum loved him. But for so long it had been clear if something happened to Jaebum Jinyoung wasn’t sure he’d be able to go on. They had to help him along, to be strength for him.

“What happens now?” Jin asked.

“We go to 13,” Hoseok said, “we regroup and prepare to fight another day.” Jin sighed, he had heard his whole life 13 was a wasteland. The Capitol had said it was nuked 75 years ago. To find out 13 was still alive and well, that changed everything.

Their next steps would surely be fraught with danger but they all still had things to hold on to. The hovercraft began a descent, the pickup of the others would begin. Jin looked out the viewport to see who waited below. Yugyeom, Hani, Jennie and Taehyung all safe from death with Namjoon walking with them.

"How'd you pull it off?" Jin asked as the hovercraft neared the field where they all waited.

"Well," Hoseok laughed, "I'd love to brag about my heroics but I feel that's a story for another time." He was just glad that they were safe, and safe they would remain for their immediate future.

—————

His heart was pounding. 

He took a deep breath.

"Jaebum," Jinyoung called out as his eyes opened. He felt vibrations beneath his body as he breathed and looked around to take in his surroundings. He was on some sort of moving craft, he’d never been on one before. His body registered a needle in his skin and a monitor connected to points of his body. He wasn't in pain anymore and he assumed they had given him some sort of drug to dull the pain.

His body felt numb. Where was he? He didn’t know what was going on. He wondered for a moment if the Capitol picked him up to kill him. He needed to find Jaebum. He turned his head a bit and saw Taeyeon was lying next to him with a similar setup as to his. He fought to sit up and in that time a voice said his name.

"Jinyoung," his eyes searched and rested on a familiar friendly face.

"Tae," Jinyoung breathed as he recognized the boy in front of him.

Taehyung was not dressed in his normal gaudy clothing and his bright red hair had been dyed brown which looked natural. He looked more like someone from the districts than a Captiol cosmetician.

"Tae where are we?" he asked. 

"Safe," Taehyung said to reassure him.

His eyes were devoid of his usual cheer and Jinyoung moved his own hand to where his heart was hurting in his chest. He knew what it was that had happened, but help had come. Someone had picked them up.

"Where's Jaebum," Jinyoung asked as tears filled his eyes. He didn't want to think that he already knew the answer. He didn't want that.

"Jinyoung we were picked up by friends," Taehyung said to him, "we're safe and Yang can't reach us here."

Taehyung said it like it was a prepared speech he was told to say, but Jinyoung's mind was still stuck on his question. Inside he was praying it had all just been a nightmare. 

"Taehyung," Jinyoung said desperately, "where is Jaebum?" That was the question he wanted answered the most.

Taehyung's eyes were sad, tears were welling in them. And that was all the confirmation he needed to hear to know that things had actually gone that wrong. He mustered the strength and sat up. He tore the IV from his arm. He needed to find who was in charge. He needed to find where they had put Jaebum.

"You can't do that," Taehyung reached to stop him, "you were badly hurt, you need the medicine."

"I have to get to Jaebum," Jinyoung said, his mind single on finding Jaebum's body. On confirming it for himself, he wouldn't rest till he knew the truth. It couldn't be real, it was a lie. Jaebum was alive.

"Jinyoung don't do this," Taehyung said holding onto his arms to try and hold him in place, "you're safe, we're safe." He was crying as he did so but Jinyoung couldn’t be stopped from what he needed to do.

"Taehyung," Jinyoung said his name firmly, "this isn't real, I don't trust anything. Jaebum was alive, I felt his heartbeat, I was listening to it. He was alive!" Jinyoung wouldn't believe it, he knew better what had happened.

"I felt him," Jinyoung said repeating what he knew.

He had laid his head on Jaebum's chest. Jaebum had inhaled a deep breath and Jinyoung could feel his heartbeat as Jinyoung had lost consciousness. He had counted the beat of Jaebum’s heart, it was strong. It was still beating which meant he was alive. Whatever else they told him was a lie. Jinyoung had to get to him, he had to find him.

"Jinyoung he's gone," Taehyung said his voice broke as he spoke again, "he's gone."

Jinyoung pushed him off as Taehyung tried to wrap his arms around Jinyoung to stop him. Jinyoung didn't want it, tears poured from his eyes. He didn’t need comfort, he needed to find out who was responsible.

"I felt his heartbeat," Jinyoung said again, "it was still beating." 

"Jinyoung I'm so sorry," Taehyung said.

Jinyoung didn't believe what he was hearing and his mind connected what had really happened.

"Did they leave him behind?" Jinyoung asked suddenly realizing what this meant. If they thought he was dead…

Taehyung didn't answer. Jinyoung pulled off the monitors and pushed Taehyung away when he tried to stop him. He got up and rushed towards the door to the next part of the hovercraft.

"Jinyoung you have to stay calm," Taehyung said but Jinyoung was past that point, far past that point. Taehyung tried to hold him back but Jinyoung pushed past him and moved forward through the ship.

"Turn it around," Jinyoung called out desperately, Jaebum needed him. His voice sounded hoarse but he had to tell them. They had to go back.

"Jinyoung," a door opened and Jin appeared on the other side. 

Jinyoung saw into the room past Jin's shoulders, there were others with him. JYP and Jackson. Jinyoung didn’t trust them. He didn’t trust Jackson as his mind filled with memories of what the other tribute had done. It was a lie, a scheme to keep them all trapped.

"We have to go back," Jinyoung said shaking as he realized he was more afraid with them than he had been in the arena.

"Jinyoung you need to stay calm," Jin said.

"Turn the ship around!” Jinyoung shouted at him.

"Jinyoung we can't do that," Jin said.

"No," Jinyoung cried as Jin grabbed his arms and the younger tried to push him away, "Jaebum was alive, and you left him! You all just left him!" 

"Jinyoung Jaebum is gone," Jin reaffirmed what Taehyung had already said. That was what they’d been told, but it wasn’t true.

"No," Jinyoung pushed him away. He knew it was a lie. "No I know what I felt, Jaebum didn't die, he was alive! He was alive."

Jin looked saddened and Jinyoung saw Jackson walking up behind him, he was the one who had turned on him. Who had hurt him. They’d all lied and left Jaebum alone. He had to go back to him.

"What is this?" Jinyoung asked Jin, "what happened? Why would you leave him?" He didn’t understand why Jin would allow that to happen.

"He didn't," JYP spoke up and Jinyoung turned to him as he spoke, "I did."

Jinyoung looked at him crying wondering how he could do it. How could anyone think it would ever be okay to leave him. "Why?" Jinyoung asked.

Jin looked between JYP and Jinyoung and Jackson did as well.

"Did you know?" Jackson asked JYP, suddenly realizing what the others had as well.

JYP had known that Jaebum was still alive.

"I had no reason to make multiple drops for people I knew wouldn't make it," JYP said, "there was no way to save him, he was inches from death." 

"You made that call?" Jin shouted at him, "You didn't know that for certain!" There was disbelief and betrayal in Jackson’s eyes as he looked at JYP.

"I made the call I had too," JYP said sternly, "we had to leave, if we had stayed any longer the Capitol would have been able to shoot us down.”

Jinyoung’s heart pounded in his chest. They could have saved Jaebum, they could have picked him up but they didn’t.

"We have to go back," Jinyoung said again, everything within him screaming. He didn't want this. He wanted Jaebum, he would risk everything for Jaebum. He didn't care about anything else. Everything to him was Jaebum.

"I'm sorry," JYP said, "we can't turn back. If he wasn't dead then, he is now."

Jinyoung's heart stopped, he swore it stopped right there in his chest as he was impacted by the reality he was stuck in. He couldn't get back to Jaebum. He couldn't get to him from where he was. He couldn’t do it and it was all the fault of the main in front of him.

"Jinyoung stay calm," Jin said to him. He was angry, he felt a million emotions filling him.

"You son of a bitch," Jinyoung lunged towards JYP and Jin caught him and held him back to stop him. He tried to fight Jin to get to JYP. He didn’t have any thought except rage as he just wanted to fight him. The man watched him unflinching, unmoving. It made Jinyoung angrier as he didn’t seem to react at all or try to prevent Jinyoung from getting to him.

"Jinyoung!" Jin yelled at him, "you need to calm down now." 

But there was no calm, Jinyoung fought to get out of Jin's grasp. Jin was still hurt as well, he couldn't hold Jinyoung back for long. Jinyoung moved his arm back and hit Jin in the ribs, Jin cried out and let go. Jinyoung got a step closer to JYP but Jackson grabbed him.

“That enough,” Jackson spoke low, cold. Like he had in the arena.

Jackson had attacked him in the arena. Thats what he remembered.

Jackson his enemy.

Jinyoung fought harder against Jackson, his focus off JYP but it was no use. Jackson was the one who wasn't hurt. Jackson held on to him as he cried and screamed and tried to break free. He looked towards JYP who was still unmoved and unchanged but the expression on his face had changed. 

There was a sadness in his eyes as he looked at Jinyoung. He didn’t have any right to be sad. He had no right to mourn. 

He had no right after he’d left Jaebum. JYP had made the decision. Jinyoung looked at him with hatred and cried out as he felt pain from being unable to break away from Jackson.

He felt a needle in his back and he welcomed the feeling of blackness, emptiness, loss.

Far away.

Far away from all he loved.

At an ending.

Something he didn't want.

Something he would fight to get back.

Whatever it took.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to all who are reading and commenting. The next chapter is a prelude to book 3.
> 
> Things seem bleak for now but there is hope for our boys to reunite in the future.


	22. “Rise of the Phoenix” Prelude

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is part of a DOUBLE UPDATE. Make sure you don’t miss Chapter 21!
> 
> Jinyoung awakens to a new reality and a newfound fire.

Jinyoung awoke again in a soft bed, a hand in his. A hand he knew, not the one he wanted but one he knew well. He opened his eyes and turned to face the friend. The person he awoke to see was someone he knew would not hurt him. He felt safe as he turned his gaze to see someone he loved. Mark's eyes met his filled with compassion.

He didn't recognize their surroundings but the fact that Mark was there meant he really was with allies, not enemies. He sat up.

"You should take it easy," Mark said, "you've been out for three days. They got me because they took you off the sedative, but you're going to feel off for awhile.” He wasn’t sure it was because of the sedative.

He remembered everything…

"I just want to go home," Jinyoung said as tears filled his eyes again. He couldn’t forget if he wanted to. It stuck to his ever present thoughts even in waking from three days of sedation.

_Jaebum_

"Jinyoung you're going to be okay," Mark said softly. 

He knew that he could trust Mark to mean well. He trusted him but there was no being okay, no repair to what he’d endured.

"Please," Jinyoung said, "just take me home." He wanted to go back to their fortress, back to the time before the nightmare began again. Back to when they had each other and so many questions about what they were. That was preferable to the reality he kept waking up to.

"I can't," Mark said softly, and Jinyoung saw a sadness on his face that went much deeper...

"What happened?" Jinyoung asked, "where are we?" 

"We're in district 13," Mark said. That was impossible, Jinyoung had heard his whole life district 13 was nothing more than nuclear waste. There was no 13, there was no way they could be somewhere that didn’t exist. 

"No," Jinyoung said, "we have to go home, I want to go home." Mark shook his head.

"Jinyoung, we can't go home," he said. His heart shook with fear, it seemed to be the only emotion he was capable of fully feeling.

"Why not?" Jinyoung asked, were they prisoners?

"Jinyoung District 12 is gone," Mark said.

Gone? What did he mean Gone? It couldn't be gone.

"What do you mean?" Jinyoung asked.

"Yang ordered bombers to level it after the arena fell,” Mark said with sadness. That meant... Youngjae. Where was Youngjae? Jinyoung's heart stuttered, he couldn't survive if he lost Youngjae too. 

"Where—"

"Youngjae and your father are safe," Mark cut him off before he could finish the question, “I got them out, they're here." 

They got out, he was relieved but he realized what this meant. Yang had leveled a whole district, countless people had died. Yang sought to quench the rising rebellion he no doubt knew was coming...

Yang destroyed district 12.

Yang was responsible for everything...

For Jungkook's, Sana's, and Minho's deaths... 

For Sandara's, for Taecyeon’s, for Hyolyn's, for Jisoo's, and for Joon's deaths...

Yang was responsible for Jaebum... 

Yang had leveled a district and killed more.

Yang would have to die.

Jinyoung would be the one to kill him.

Jinyoung would make sure of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone for sticking with me on this journey. I know it’s painful but there is so much more to come. Sometimes it takes some pain to reach a happy ending, I hope you all wil continue to stick around.
> 
> Thanks to all who have commented and left kudos. I am working on Book 3 now. It will begin soon.
> 
> <3 Please comment and let me know your thoughts, your favorite moment of book 2 and what you want to happen next. Thank you.


	23. Part 3

Authors Note:

Part 3 of the Hunger Games AU is now up. Please give it love. Thank you.

**Author's Note:**

> Please comment and let me know what you think.


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